October 30th, 2009
01:25 PM ET

Please save Jon Gosselin from himself!

From: "Showbiz Tonight" producer and mother of two

Date: October 30, 2009

Jon Gosselin is troubled. He is troubled that, “the media has accepted as true the scurrilous rumor that (he) would appear in a reality television program with Nadya Suleman” - aka Octumom. You remember her, the woman who had 8 kids! She already had 6 kids before this spectacular birth. She’s getting ready for her docu-reality show to make some cash to raise her brood of 14.

Anyway, I digress! Back to Jon Gosselin! In this brand new press release, released to, well, the universe, Jon says this “scurrilous rumor” is “utterly false”. False! Thank goodness Jon! We really hope you are keeping your word on that one, because doing a reality show with Octumom while you are trying to reconnect with your, “spiritual, more altruistic self with regular study sessions and counseling with Rabbi Shmuley Boteach” might get a little hairy!

Oops I jumped ahead! Jon’s brand new press release includes a bombshell! The reality show says he is going to change his ways! Jon says that he will publicly apologize to Kate, and his 8 kids with the help of Rabbi Boteach, at a forum inside a New York City Synagogue.

But here’s why I think Jon needs saving from himself! Once again Jon is going through public channels to do something that should be private. Jon says he wants to reconnect with his kids. Jon, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist or a Rabbi for that matter to advise you that there are easier ways to reconnect with your kids!

Get on the floor with them, roll around with them and for heaven’s sake, ask YOUR KIDS how THEY have been feeling since you and Kate called it quits! No spiritual adviser on the planet will be able to tell you how your kids are feeling! By golly, Jon! Save yourself and get back to Pennsylvania and start bonding with those adorable kids. You want them to smile?! You want them to love you?! Do yourself a favor, and dress up in some ridiculous Halloween costume and make them laugh at you because you are a fun daddy, and not because you have become a laughingstock.

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