While you were working ...
August 14th, 2013
06:15 PM ET

While you were working ...

Today's news you might've missed:

  • Eminem is back with new music - even though for now it's overshadowed by the sound of rapid-fire gunshots since it's on the "Call of Duty: Ghosts" soundtrack. [EW]
  • With the "Twilight" series coming out on DVD/Blu-ray in its entirety - as a set called "Twilight Forever," no less - it would be understandable if Twihards are reserving hope that the series will, in fact, go on forever. Not so, says the woman who started it all, Stephenie Meyer. "I am so over it," she says of "Twilight." "For me, it’s not a happy place to be." [Variety]
  • Meanwhile, that parking lot confrontation Chris Brown had with Frank Ocean earlier this year has come back to haunt Breezy. The singer has reportedly been hit with a lawsuit over the altercation. [Rolling Stone]
  • The CMA Awards apparently operate by the motto, "if it's not broke, why fix it?" Old pros Carrie Underwood and Brad Paisely will once again host the ceremony. It'll be their sixth time. [CBS]
  • Simon Cowell is probably somewhere breathing a sigh of relief. The woman who is said to be carrying his unborn, Lauren Silverman, has reportedly settled her divorce from her husband - Cowell's friend, Andrew Silverman. [TMZ]

Filed under: While you were working

soundoff (29 Responses)
  1. Barfy McPooface

    I like pulling my legs over my head and spurting diarrhea into the air like a tur-d fountain!

    August 16, 2013 at 9:59 am | Report abuse |
    • Peace ☮

      Wow, you're flexible! Did you know that Richard Fore can lick his own balls...that's what he told us, anyways. Lol!

      August 16, 2013 at 10:12 am | Report abuse |
  2. M.A.P.

    I heard the song on the Call of Duty preview and I thought it was a "specially for video game" made song. It sounds cheap and in no was passionate. Eminem's style of rapping has gone past its used by date. Now he sounds like some nasal, screeching whiny little rich white guy. NEXT!

    August 16, 2013 at 4:15 am | Report abuse |
  3. 50% off on all merchandise

    I have not seen or heard from eminem since he coordinated with Borat to have that hairy posterior descend from the ceiling and land upon eminem's face during that award ceremony. Bad career move, and it looks like he's still traumatized. Eminem should hook up with Prince now that it's legal and everything.

    August 15, 2013 at 10:07 am | Report abuse |
  4. Sokman

    Stupid whyte-boy wannabe rapper Eminem is so aptly named, isn't he? Just like M&Ms, he's light colored on the outside, and black on the inside.

    August 15, 2013 at 9:37 am | Report abuse |
  5. Bag McFartface

    The distinction between Guts and Balls:

    To those of you who are nit-pickers about the meaning of words, there is a medical distinction between Guts and Balls. We've all heard about people having Guts or Balls, but do you really know the difference between them?

    In an effort to keep you informed, here are the basic definitions:

    GUTS - is arriving home late after a night out with the boys, being met by your wife with a broom and having the GUTS to ask "are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"

    BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the boys, smelling of perfume and beer with lipstick on your collar, and slapping your wife on the azz and having the Balls to say "you're next, chubby."

    I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions. Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome. Both result in death.

    August 15, 2013 at 9:23 am | Report abuse |
    • Peace ☮

      😂 Lol!!!

      August 15, 2013 at 10:10 am | Report abuse |
    • TriumphTheInsultComicDog

      You made me laugh. Enjoy a poopsicle!

      August 15, 2013 at 11:41 am | Report abuse |
    • Peace ☮

      A newlywed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor told them, "We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from s ex for an entire month."

      The couple agreed and, after two-and-a-half weeks, returned to the church.

      When the Pastor ushered them into his office, the wife was crying, and the husband obviously was very depressed.

      "You are back so soon...Is there a problem?" the pastor inquired.

      "We are terribly ashamed to admit that we did not manage to abstain from s ex for the required month," the young man replied sadly.

      The pastor asked him what happened.

      "Well, the first week was difficult; however, we managed to abstain through sheer will power. The second week was terrible, but with the use of prayer, we managed to abstain. The third week, however, was unbearable.

      We tried cold showers, prayer, reading from the Bible, anything to keep our minds free of carnal thoughts.

      But one afternoon, my wife reached for a can of paint and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I
      noticed that she didn't have panties on and I was overcome with lust and I had my way with her, right then and there," admitted the man, shamefacedly.

      "You understand this means you will not be welcome into our church," stated the pastor.

      "We know," said the young man, hanging his head.

      "We're not welcome at Home Depot anymore, either.

      August 15, 2013 at 12:31 pm | Report abuse |
    • Peace ☮

      Someone sent that to me this am. Had to share with ya Triumph & Bag!

      August 15, 2013 at 12:33 pm | Report abuse |
    • TriumphTheInsultComicDog

      Funny! You can have a poopsicle too!

      August 15, 2013 at 12:53 pm | Report abuse |
    • Peace ☮

      Hey you! Thanks, but I'll pass on that, it's kinda cold here today. Lol, got chili? (I may be sorry I asked that. 😮 )

      August 15, 2013 at 12:57 pm | Report abuse |
    • TriumphTheInsultComicDog

      Of course! I always have warm trouser chili! lol

      August 15, 2013 at 1:04 pm | Report abuse |
    • ※Sadie※

      Hey everybody! How ya all doing? Funny you should mention it, Peace. I made chili on Tuesday. The weather has been so fall like lately, it seemed appropriate. Thanks for the chuckles, guys!

      August 15, 2013 at 1:05 pm | Report abuse |
    • TriumphTheInsultComicDog

      Hey Sadie. How you doing? I'll trade the heat here for your fall like weather right now. I'm ready for fall to begin already lol.

      August 15, 2013 at 1:47 pm | Report abuse |
    • Peace ☮

      Hey Sadie! I'll bet (& play the odds on it...lol) your chili is way different than Triumphs. Lol!
      Triumph, It has gotten so cool here (how cool is it?), the leaves are starting to change color already! Too early!!! We do get hot & humid next week, tho. Hey, you mentioned a lake, so do ya fish? If so, what do ya catch? Just curious.

      August 15, 2013 at 2:00 pm | Report abuse |
    • TriumphTheInsultComicDog

      Peace, I am the latest in a long line of avid fishermen. I love to go fishing off my dock. I catch bass, bluegill and catfish off it.

      August 15, 2013 at 2:07 pm | Report abuse |
    • ※Sadie※

      Hey Triumph and Peace! Thought I'd check this one more time before I leave for work. I'm digging this weather, although, like Peace said, we are warming back up next week. It has been a strange summer this year. Fall is my favorite season anyway, so it can stay like this for as long as possible. Off to work. Later!

      August 15, 2013 at 2:18 pm | Report abuse |
    • Peace ☮

      Triumph, Please tell me ya have a grill nearby that dock. (Grilled bluegill & catfish!) We were fishing on the Rabbit River a couple yrs ago & were catching perch left & right. Made an awesome beer batter & deep fried them. Yum! Was in northern MI, another time, perch fishing & was catching walleye instead! Another great fish fry! Yeah, I like to fish, too. 🙂

      August 15, 2013 at 3:46 pm | Report abuse |
    • TriumphTheInsultComicDog

      Peace, if I didn't have a grill nearby that would be criminal. I have a grill on my back deck mere steps away from the dock 🙂 Cool that you like to fish too. When I lived in California I used to do a lot of stream fishing. Caught mostly trout out there. Loved to fry them up after catching them. Good stuff 🙂

      August 15, 2013 at 4:03 pm | Report abuse |
    • Reggie

      My sister fishes for trouser trout every single day!

      August 15, 2013 at 4:07 pm | Report abuse |
    • Peace ☮

      Stream fishing as in "fly fishing"? Loads of fun! Do you like smoked fish, too? The Great Lakes are full of good eating fish. Whenever I go to Mac city, I always get smoked fish to bring home. There are smokehouses in Mac city & St Ignace. St Ignace is across the Mac bridge in the U.P. Oh sorry, the upper peninsula. I'll be going there with Sadie & I can't wait! 🙂

      August 15, 2013 at 4:41 pm | Report abuse |
    • Peace ☮

      Reggie, Trouser trout...lol!

      August 15, 2013 at 4:44 pm | Report abuse |
    • TriumphTheInsultComicDog

      Nah not quite fly fishing. Fly fishing uses a technique I don't know how to do. I wish I did though lol. Stream fishing is just fishing out of streams and creeks. I love smoked fish! Any time. I managed to catch salmon in California it was immediate cause for me to break the smoker out lol.

      August 16, 2013 at 3:56 am | Report abuse |
    • Peace ☮

      Morning Triumph! Fly fishing is more "work", I prefer a container of worms, tackle box, pole, & a cooler in a row boat. The edge of the river isn't so bad, either. The end of a dock is more convenient, tho. Sounds like you have a great set up & I'm jealous! Can I come over & go fishing with ya? I'll bring the cooler. Lol!

      August 16, 2013 at 8:43 am | Report abuse |
  6. Timmy

    My favorite is peanut eminems.

    August 14, 2013 at 9:16 pm | Report abuse |
    • ※Sadie※

      lol...I like them, too.

      August 15, 2013 at 1:10 pm | Report abuse |
    • M.A.P.

      I liked the limited edition M&M's with creamy fecal filling. They never made it onto the market, but I got to try some from the development team and they were absolutely disgusting.

      August 16, 2013 at 8:46 am | Report abuse |

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