June 17th, 2013
10:23 AM ET
Last night, the sixth season of “True Blood”—and first without creator Alan Ball—premiered with all the blood, sweat, and sex we’ve come to expect from our friends in Bon Temps.
We picked up right where we left off: with a terrified Sookie and Eric running from a very bloody Bill, transformed after drinking Lilith’s blood.
The episode set up several storylines that will play out over the course of the season, including a new villain, a whole lot of romance and a war.
Here’s what everyone is talking about after last night’s premiere.
1. Sookie staked Bill
Sadly, he didn’t die. But when Sookie drove that stake into Bill’s cold, dead heart to protect Eric, she thought he would.
When he pulled the bloody stake out of his chest, it became clear that though Bill is now beyond immortal, Sookie’s love for him is dead. In that moment, she chose Eric over Bill. In the words of "Arrested Development"'s Tobias Fünke, "huzzah!" It’s about time, girl.
Eric walked Sookie home, and once they were inside, he stabbed himself in the wrist with a pen and signed ownership of her house back over to her. It was sweet.
Just when it seemed like Eric might spend the night, she disinvited him from her home. Nora, waiting on the porch, called Eric out on his love for Sookie. Are they finally going to get together?
2. Who or what is Bill?
After Bill guzzled Lilith’s blood, he transformed into ... something—but what? Even he has no idea. He said he’s still Bill Compton, “but more.”
Bizarro Bill compelled Jessica to him, nearly ripping her apart in the process. Still, she decided to stand by him.
Unfortunately, though Bill went through some incredible transformation, his hair was unchanged. Can we get Lala on the case?
After a full season tease, we finally saw Warlow, the man responsible for the deaths of Sookie and Jason’s parents.
We met the creepy old guy when he picked up a hitchhiking Jason, who had run off after yet another fight with his sister. They’ll probably tearfully reunite around episode 9, as usual.
When dimwitted Jason mentioned his sister, Warlow’s friendly stranger façade cracked. He’s still after Sookie, and she should be worried. The guy has yellow eyes and the ability to vanish when in danger!
Which is precisely what happened when Jason tried to shoot him. Hopefully Jason got a grip on the steering wheel before he slammed head on into that tree.
4. The war on vampires
When “True Blood” began, vampires had just come “out of the coffin.” The road toward assimilation has been rocky, but now the governor of Louisiana is creating a giant roadblock.
Governor Burrell declared war on vampires, urging his citizens to stock up on guns and ordering a shut down of all vampire-run businesses.
Which brings us to lovelorn Pam and Tara, who were quarrelling in Fangtasia when government soldiers barged in to shut down the bar.
The governor also made an interesting deal with the manufacturers of TruBlood. Whatever his plan is, we have a feeling that it’s going to backfire.
Actress and comedian Retta, aka Donna from “Parks and Recreation,” aka Twitter’s #1 TV fan hosted a pre-show. She interviewed the stars of the show about stunts, fangs, fairies and more.
She even tried on a pair of fangs herself, and suggested they cast her as a vampire queen on the show. Imagine Donna “he can get it” Meagle becoming a vampire, being elected queen (I realize queens aren’t normally elected, but Leslie Knope could make it happen), and moving to Bon Temps. Imagine Donna and Lala celebrating Treat Yo Self 2013! Pedicures on top of pedicures on top of headscarves on top of fine leather goods on top of statement necklaces.
HBO, everyone is talking about this. And by everyone, I mean me and my sister, so presumably everyone else. Make it happen.
What are you talking about after last night’s “True Blood” premiere?
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