Kimmel's opening monologue, the first Emmy of the night

Jimmy Kimmel said he had plans to throw in some genuinely weird stuff, and the opening monologue definitely bordered on strange.

Kimmel opened the 64th Primetime Emmys with a skit that involved him crying about a bad botox job in the women's bathroom as actresses like Mindy Kaling, Christina Hendricks, Zooey Deschanel, Kathy Bates and Lena Dunham - in her birthday suit, eating birthday cake - punched him back into shape. We didn't quite get it, but we did laugh a few times.

His opening monologue fared well with the Emmys crowd, as he joked about how hot it was outside - the red carpet, as we've heard multiple times this evening, was sweltering - and then gave us a little riff on the history of TV before segueing into politics:

"TV is an American institution, and yet, one out of every five nominees tonight is British. I will admit that 'Downton Abbey' is an amazing show, there's so much meticulous attention to detail," Kimmel said. "It really gives you a sense of what it must have been like to grow up in Mitt Romney's house."

"Are any of you voting for Mitt Romney?" he asked, as some in the audience cheered. "Alright, 40 Republicans," Kimmel joked in response. "Being a Republican in Hollywood is like being a Chick-Fil-A sandwich on the snack table at 'Glee.'"

The important thing, Kimmel concluded, "is that we get out of here as soon as possible so you can get home and put on your fat pants. Poor Steve Buscemi hasn't eaten in a week."

And with that, the first Emmy was handed to "Modern Family's" Eric Stonestreet for outstanding supporting actor in a comedy.

He thanked Jesse Tyler Ferguson, who plays his "Modern Family" character's partner on the show, and encouraged other young actors to pursue their dreams.

“I wouldn’t be standing here without Jesse Tyler Ferguson, there is no Cam without Mitch," Stonestreet said. "I never thought I’d be on TV as a gay man, but I love the pictures of hairy chests you guys are sending me. Thank you for those.”