September 18th, 2012
09:35 AM ET
Ben Affleck wouldn't mind forgetting all about 2003Nine years ago, when Ben Affleck's claim to fame was rubbing down Jennifer Lopez in a music video and "Gigli," some probably couldn't envision his eventual blossoming into an actor and director behind films like "The Town" and next month's "Argo." But that's the result of what Affleck calls our cultural instinct to "shorthand" people, as he explains in the new issue of Details. "I got shorthanded as That Guy: Jennifer Lopez, movies bombed, therefore he must be a sort of thoughtless dilettante, solipsistic consumer blahblahblah," Affleck says.
"It's hard to shake those sort of narratives. If you were looking at that one-liner on me in 2003, which was definitely the annus horribilis of my life," he adds with a laugh, "... I made a bunch of movies that didn't work. I was ending up in the tabloids. I don't know what the lesson is, except that you just have to find your compass." In order to break out of a public perception that was turning into "a self-fulfilling prophecy ... I just said, 'I don't want to do it anymore. This is horrible. I don't want to be in this spotlight, this glare, in this way. It's tawdry, it's ugly, it's oppressive, and it's inane. So I'm going to try to get away.'" Going behind the camera accomplished that goal, allowing the 40-year-old actor/director to move "toward a place where the work that I do is reflective of what I think is interesting dramatically." Now that he and wife Jennifer Garner are parents of three, one might assume Affleck is ready for another transition, perhaps stepping back from Hollywood. Not so - he (and Garner) loves work too much. "Everything has to compete with being with my family," Affleck tells the magazine. "I don't want to be a stay-at-home dad. Work is very important to me. I like to work. So does my wife. But I need my work to mean something to me in order for me to not be home with them." As it is, he's not "very present" in the other areas of his life when he's in the middle of a project. Thankfully, Garner's patient, Affleck says. "She does everything. If I have time, I try to spend time with the kids, even if just to be a physical presence, the bath, whatever," he says. "But my mind's always going, 'How are we going to light that shot tomorrow? What's the master shot for that scene? Is there even going to be a master?' Just ruminating endlessly. Because for me - I wish it was discipline or being a great artist. But it's just anxiety."
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aw hell. give him a chance. if jl movie sucks it won't change your life.
He can say his s$@t but we know who the F he is because of JLo. Soooo, be embarassed or be grateful, mr 2nd rate actor, hope ur better at directing. JLo is F a better D now!
matt damon gave him the words "dilettante, solipsistic consumer" because ben is too much of a moron to know big words and stuff-
hahahahahaha
Does anyone else remember when Ben had a drug and alcohol problem and looked like absolute crap? I don't remember JLo ever having a drug/ alcohol problem... Why can't his little wifey explain how rude and misogynist his comments are? This is not the first time he has dissed his time with Jennifer ; what a mealy-mouthed little clod -hopper.. Shame on you , Ben. You are good looking, talented but mostly very lucky. How dare you speak down to Jennifer; you brought her to your old hood to meet your Mom and asked her to marry you; no one made you do that. Keep your mouth shut about someone who loved you and had every reason to think you loved her.
Ben Affleck was at the Princeville Hotel having dinner and his wife, Jennifer Garner, shot a million watt smile at at 13 year old girl sitting there as they walked out. What a gem of a wife! If he doesn't keep it in his pants for her, he is a total loser. The other women are just brown grass, brother.... by Jennifer Garner and K and the dog 🙂
Everyone loves a success story, Go Ben!
I didn't know Ben Affleck was in any good movies. I can't think of any.
You know as a writer your 'desperate' for a story when you dredge up stuff from 9 YEARS ago! Sad and pathetic. It's tabloid trash. Regardless of his actor career which is better than any of ours I might add, he's married to Jennifer Garner, so in the end he still wins. Any one of you would trade places in a second. Amazing how you all jump on the hate bandwagon like a bunch of kindergarteners!
Chasing Amy!
Good Will Hunting!
Ok clearly you two forgot:
Clerks II – You'll no doubt know already that Kevin Smith is behind this so you better recognize!
Man About Town – Umm ya....I'm dyin' here I'm dyin....
Surviving Christmas – Tony Soprano is in this, criticize this movie at your own risk.
Jersey Girl – Must I remind you Kevin Smith is a legend.
Paycheck – It's sci fi I mean come on, every nerd out there saw this at least twice!
Gigli – If you made a movie with your ex-biiitch girlfriend you'd be embarrassed too.
Daredevil – Comic Books hey you take a chance with those!
The Third Wheel – Sorry Ben you're gonna have to take the hits on this one.
The Sum of All Fears – w/Morgan Freeman you know you liked it
Changing Lanes – Samuel L. Jackson please if you haven't seen it you must!
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back – Honoring a friend in the industry who contributed to his fame.
Daddy and Them – Billy Bob Thornton ok I guess if you make a movie with this dick it's worth forgetting
Pearl Harbor – He got to make out with Kate Beckinsale, the woman of every man's dreams. I'd a paid the studio for that role.
Bounce – Lovely Gwyneth Paltrow how do you go wrong there.
Reindeer Games – Charlize Theron was in it, sometimes you think a project is good and it doesn't come out as expected, clearly that's never happened to any of us though in the Real World right!
Boiler Room – Movie was wicked plain and simple, review critics can suck it! Grossed 4X it's budget! Do the math!
Dogma – Seriously it's a Kevin Smith film what's not to like.
Forces of Nature – Dude hangs with Sandra Bullock, seriously I'd give up an annual wage for that! Jessie James can suck it!
200 Cigarettes – Dave Chappelle, Kate Hudson, Christina Ricci, Paul Rudd and Case Afflect, points when you get to work with your brother and a cast like that regardless of the outcome of a movie! How many of you go to work with people like that every day?
Shakespeare in Love – When Harvey Weinstein asks you to be in a movie, you say YES!
Armageddon – It had Bruce friggin Willis in it, need I say more!
Mall Rats – It's a Kevin Smith film, greatness needs no introduction!
There are an awful lot of awful movies in that list, including two by Kevin Smith alone.
Jay, how could you forget Hollywoodland which gave Affleck great critical reviews.
IIf this article is accurate, Ben Affleck is a jerk. A man doesn't talk this way about a girl he dumped. Period. "Bennifer" was the rage in 2003 and, frankly, many people were appalled it was taking place and happy it never became marriage. Jennifer Lopez powered on to consolidate her unique stardom and Affleck has gone on to having his family and, frankly again, hitting the ceiling of his mediocre potential. Fine. Now, ten years later, regarding addressing "Bennifer" in such smugly derogatory fashion, Ben Affleck, shut the hell up.
Jennifer Lopez = former American Idol judge and Kohl's clothing line
Ben Affleck = director of "Gone Baby Gone" (65 top ten and best of 2007 lists), "The Town" (94% Rotten Tomatoes rating), and forthcoming film "Argo"
This guy is going to win an Oscar for directing films before he's 50. If that's "mediocre," brother, I wish some of that mediocrity would rub off on me.
Just because you are educated and use big words correctly doesn't make you a bad person. If your self-image is so poor that your response to educated people is hostility, anger, or resentment there is a problem– but it's your problem. Dumb is not cool. Neither is uneducated. There's a reason he's rich, has on Oscar, and is married to an amazing woman– he's better than most of us. Accept it and be happy with who you are.
Well said! I'm so tired of the dumbing down of America to make the texting masses feel comfortable. I have a hard time expressing myself in 140 characters or less and speaking at a sub-7th grade education level.
I am very well educated (think post graduate education in Britain), and even I had to look up "solipsistic"! Using words like that in a casual conversation about an affair is perhaps a tad conceited. Anyone can go to one of the many dictionary/thesaurus websites and memorize a bunch of rarely used words so that they can look "well educated" when they talk, but that doesn't make them better than you or I! Not saying that Affleck did that but it doesn't matter; it's pretentious to use words you'd otherwise find in Shakespearean text in a casual conversation about your personal life, unless maybe you are a Nobel laureate in literature!
Solipsistic is not really a big word ... It's covered in Philosophy 101. However, I don't think his use of it is exactly correct. I gather he means to say he tends to act as though he's the only person in the world (ego-centric), but I believe solipsims is a philosophical doubt that anything exists outside our own minds, and that there is no way of proving otherwise. That everything we see around us is in fact nothing more than our own mental activity. It would be to say that his kids aren't real except in so far as he is imagining them.
Which is different from saying "I'm too good for J Lo so it's good I wised up, now if only everyone else could see that I'm very smart and special, and so creative that I can't take my mind off my work even if my kids need me. But I know how to say self-deprecating things so that makes it ok that I'm poisonously self-involved, and I can further justify my narcicism because I'm the victim of an esoteric world view. I'm just a victim of my genius. And I'm too much of a genius to connect with my kids or to care." So his kids will just have to understand that thier daddy is a genius with no ability to make decisions and that his lot in life was just too important and special to spend time with them. The truth is he's too good for them too; the camera lights are more important than his kids.
"Solipsistic" I needed to Google. "Pretentious" however I already recognized...
"Annus Horrible"? That's an insult to anuses everywhere. What he's talking about was letting the little head tell the big head what to do. I like Ben Affleck as an actor and director, but he does come off as a bit of an "horrible anus" in this story.
Jesus..."annus horribilis"... "thoughtless dilettante, solipsistic consumer"..."Just ruminating endlessly"...Shhh, Benny.
What a gasbag. A snore who likes to hear himself talk.
Nice guy, too bad he cannot get history straight in his new movie.
Ben must have put on his Stallone do-these-make-me-look-smarter glasses when he did this interview. Solipsistic? Dilettante? Inane? Those are some fancy GRE words, Ben
He graduated from college, his mother was a teacher and she graduated from Harvard. What have you done?
Same. But I still use plain English. He sounds pretentious.
What does his mother teaching and going to Harvard have to do with his intelligence. I've known plenty of morons who had educated parents. That said, he did attend the University of Vermont where he majored in Middle Eastern affairs so I would probably give him the benefit of the doubt and say he's probably fairly bright....not your typical "rocks for jocks" choice of major.
Also Aaron Boone. That also sucked for you in '03. Hahahaha
Ben Ah, is myopic. He looks in the mirror and thinks he's the best thing since sliced...white bread Ha! Wait until he goes bald....I guess Jennifer Lopez wsill be blamed for that as well. Jennifer G. your husband is still in love with Lopez. You have him in the flesh, but Jenny from the block has his heart. Shimmy on Jennifer Lopez. Shimmy on.
May I just say...I do not like Ben Afflack. He continues to put down Jennifer Lopez in a way that I feel is very disrespecdtful. It's like he has turned 360 degrees from what he was expousing back then. He chased Jennifer Lopez in the extreme and when he won her, HE not SHE allowed HIMSELF to be viewed through those tawdry lenses he speaks of. Bacfk then it was Jennifer is being subjected to racist press and it was true, I was proud of him that he understood what was going on with how the press treated his relationship with Jennifer and he spoke up and out about it. Then when he realized his own career was being eclisped, he sang a totally different story. He dumped Jennifer inelegantly and raced for safe harbour...Jennifer Garner. My guess is to prove to America he was exactly what he is...white bread. So for him to be crying about how horrible 20003 was and including Jennifer Lopez in the same sentence is really disrespectful and he needs to stop. He's moved on with his life so let his life be that statement and stop talking about Jennier Lopez, the choice he didn't stick with. Jennier Lolpez should never, ever, acknowledge this clown again in any shape form or fashion. That's my take on it.
But to be fair, JLo is a bit of a h0-bag.
This post confuses me. When was the year 20003 and just who the heck is Jennier Lolpez?
I believe he said that doing some of the work he did while with her is not his proudest moment. Would you be proud of an oiled rub down video with your ex..common...he's not bad mouthing JLo...just saying it's a bit embarassing for him to look back on that body of work he did. Chiil.
Why does he say that he had a horrible anus?
LOVE IT! SHO YOU RIGHT!
Not being present is not a virtue of being a good parent. My dad was a workaholic and it is terrible parenting to ignore your kids especially when you're home but not mentally present for them. I don't envy his kids even if they are millionaires.
LISTEN WATCH YOUR HUSBAND.....WOMEN AND MEN OUR THERE WANT HIM....
KEEP HIM AWAY FROM THE WOMEN WITH THE BROKEN HEART.....PLEASE
AND YOU KNOW WHO I AM TALKING ABOUT!
come back to slumervlle lol..
cs
nobody cares-zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Do you have so much free time that you have to read articles just to heckle?
does anyone remember the south park episode making fun of him and j lo??? it was a riot. look that woman divorced a man who left his wife and kids for her and then left him after popping out more kids for him to go back an pretend she is in her twenties again with some dancer. girl needs to remember Brittany's fiasco with her dancer (k-fed-too-much). She cant even "cougar" wdell.
Less Guiness, more education please. Your spelling and grammar are atrocious.
FYI – it's Guinness
Who cares how you spell it, it's still all true.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
I hate to find myself defending Ben Affleck but really, what a load of crap. In 2003 Ben Affleck was already a huge star with exactly one Oscar more in his cabinet than the writer of this story. I'm no fan of the man but really, your angle here is rubbish...
Jennifer Lopez made a huge mistake getting involved with this dude! Usually, I liked him, but this finger pointing for choices that he clear;y made is really pathetic! Jennifer Lopez suffered with the backlash of their relationship as well, in fact, she bore more of the brunt of the hate that accrued due to their relationship and not once has she come out and blamed him for anything. Instead, she takes responsibility and admits that she made some mistakes, but she has definitely taken the high road. Ben Affleck comes out in every interview bashing Jennifer Lopez! He is definitely a nut bag! To be honest, I have not seen him happy since he was with Jennifer Lopez. Ben isn't happy because he is not living his life. He is too busy trying to work and prove to the public that he is this different guy now! That's the biggest different between him and Jennifer Lopez, he cares what the public thinks and she doesn't. She lives her life. Furthermore, Jennifer Garner does live a more quiet life, she can, because she is not as big of a celebrity as Jennifer Lopez. Jennifer Garner isn't as much in demand. That is clearly the truth. Ben Affleck, please move on, you made the decisions, live with them!
Lol. YOu seem to know him to so well rightous and know need it!
I am totally lost, which number husband or boyfriend was Afleck? Lopez is still searching for the right guy, even if she has to date or marry everyone in Rome to do it...
Wow, you seem to WISH Ben still had a thing for Jennifer Lopez, all the while it's self-evident he doesn't. Moreover, it's equally crystal clear he's happier and more relaxed since meeting and marrying Jennifer Garner.
Ben Affleck is a classy, intelligent, talented man. HE'S not living his life? THIS from a guy sitting behind his computer screen eviscerating a stranger?
Yes the poor dear had to go and sleep and steal another woman's man (Mario the Lothario) to make it all better. She is such the height of class. No one is perfect but i didnt get the idea he was blaming her at all.
I concurr. What is he 10? I think he secretly depises himself for having LEFT Jennifer Lopez. Jennifer probably doesn't say anything about this man because she would burn him publicly if she ever uttered one single word, so she just as you said...lives her life with dignity and akes full responsibility for her own choices. If something isn't working she stops the madness and moves on. It may not make sense to a lot of people, I don't know if I would even have the couraged to do it, but she does it. Impressive. I hope Jennifer Lopez lives a long and happy life and she will now that Afflac is not a part of it. When I think of him I see that insurance duck. FLACK FLACK FLACK FLACK.
she's not a loud mouth, pushy woman like jlo is....jennifer was the best choice.
Live, learn, then move on. Apparently, he did. Jennifer Garner was a better choice for him anyway.
What the submissive choice? Jennifer Garner-Ohhh I'm...so in love with you....do whatever you want me to...you're all that I neeeedddddddd. Jennifer Lopez....Proud Mary keep on burning....rolling...rolling...rolling rolling, down the river! Sho you right.
I can read between the lines of Italia's horrid grammar and spelling and see a woman who is madly and deeply in love with Ben Affleck.
holy crap Kevin what is up with you and the spelling and grammar thing. nam tuo llihc
Ben made a huge mistake getting together with Jennifer Lopez. She embarrasssed him 1 million times and he fed into it for awhile but he had to make a choice and dump her–Jennifer Gardner is better for him and she's low key and Ben
has pulled back on the parties because of Jennifer Gardner. I love him..he seems like sweet guy.
Jennifer's gardener is not involved in this story at all. She's busy turning soil and planting seeds.
This guy is some work! Dude, you knew exactly how big of a celebrity she was when you got with her, she was already in every magazine.When you guys hooked up, it just intensified!! Take a good look at yourself before you start pointing fingers.You and Jennifer didn't work out. Period. You already embarrassed her and left her at the altar, knowing that she loved you. So why keep dragging this on.... Seriously, move on and let it go!! She has.
JLO was a bad move...i can't believe he stayed with her that long...Jen G. is much sweeter and considerate
and most of all with Jen G. he receives real quiet, private yet "intense" time with her. awsome.
JLO was bad move...i can't believe he stayed with her that long...Jen G. is much sweeter and considerate
and most of all with Jen G. he receives real quiet, private yet "intense" time with her. awsome.
mmmmm.
When things happened not the way you want to, it is easy to blame someone else but that is not right. That why we are given the knowledge to choose so what ever decisions we make right or wrong only you can be blame nobody twisted your arm to love and date her.I think you are just jealous because she very successful and filthy rich. You can't accept that or you regret of letting her go.Maybe deep inside you still love her. Life goes on and she did. Why can't you ? Just be happy that you have a wife and three children now. Life is too short you'll never know when is you calling. be thankful that you are alive and healthy. So live your life to the fullest with no regrets and self pity.You are still lucky compare to millions of people out there.
Ben Affleck didn't fail...he didnt want Jennifer and i saw an interview about a year ago and she said that it was her fault.
He needed someone low key, less mouth like Jennifer Gardner.....quiet life...no hassles.
If everything about 2003 bothers you so much, why keep bringing it up! You didn't get sucked into anything either, you voluntarily enjoyed every video and movie you made until you started getting negative comments about your performances.But, instead of blaming yourself for your poor acting, or your friend for their directorial failings,it was easier for you to blame the Latina girl that you were in love with. Your ego didn't let you see your own failings, you just wanted a scapegoat for your failings. It must suck to see your ex being back to work and having success. Let it go, it's been years, make peace with your past and don't have regrets. Every life experience makes you who you are today. You should be happy because your married and have kids. It sounds so pathetic that your still blaming people and talking about people from 2003. You sound like a bitter old man. Move on! Jennifer Lopez has and she is happy.
I agree!
Why pull ou the "Latina' card? Seems like anyone that J Lo is associated with is made fun of. She's a publicity monger. He didn't want that. She really is not an actress by any means. She was dragging him down.
He should be embarrassed about how he behaved in 2003. When so many people didn't have jobs they were spending hundreds of thousands on cars, furs, homes and he spent I think (?) more than a few million on an engagement ring for her. It is just hard for people who are struggling to get by to see this exccess everywhere they looked in 2003. It just did not need to be shoved down people's throats. I know they are celebs and that happens...but I think they both enjoyed showing off what they had, JLo more so more than Ben maybe.
Hennifer Lopez lol. He is acting like he was a teenage boy lol. Who will ever forget him kissing her ass in the Jenny from the block video. Haha! I am no fan of Jennifer Lopez but he did all the chasing when she was still with that dude Cris Judd. Also it was Ben's good friend Martin Brest who produced and directed the worst film ever Gigli.
You almost make me forget all about tacos... – Hennifer Lopez
Bennifer. Constipation.
I dont. He looks constipated to me. He should try eating prunes. They loosen up the bowels. Makes for good BMs.
luv ben affleck-