Emily tours America on 'The Bachelorette'
July 3rd, 2012
11:02 AM ET

Emily tours America on 'The Bachelorette'

It was hometown date week on Monday's episode of "The Bachelorette," and Emily paid a visit to the families of the four remaining contestants.

But first, she needed to make a stop in Charlotte to check on the daughter she abandoned while she went man-hopping in Europe.

While at home, Emily reminded the audience why she likes the four remaining men, conveniently forgetting the fact that she had a snit over Arie dating a show producer once upon a time.

Our first stop on the "Meet the Family" tour was Chicago, where "Bobblehead" Chris introduced Emily to the "closest thing" Chicago has to a castle, but failed to provide a description.

He also said that his family is so Polish, on a "scale of one to Polish" they're Polish. There's a joke in there somewhere, but I'm having a really hard time finding it.

Chris and Emily then went to a Polish-American restaurant, so noted because it said "Polish-American Restaurant" on the front. Maybe it's me, but I found it funny that the show blurred out the names of the credit cards the eatery accepted. When MasterCard and Visa want nothing to do with this show, you know you're in trouble.

I normally don't talk about commercial breaks on "The Bachelorette," but I feel the need to speak out today. By my estimation, ABC aired some 200 commercials promoting "The Glass House" during last night's show. ("The Glass House" being the "Big Brother" ripoff that's been doing test pattern-like numbers for ABC since it premiered in June, so I presume the network is desperate for anybody to watch this.)

Unfortunately, the network appeared to give away so much about the show that I had no interest in sampling it. If  "Glass House" actually survives another week, I wouldn't be surprised if ABC started offering money to get people to watch.

Back on the "Bachelorette," Emily met up with Chris' parents and sisters. The lone highlight of the date was Chris telling his mom that he was a "hot mess" last week, and mom telling her son to kick some fanny. Nice to see the "Jersey Shore" writers making a few extra bucks on "The Bachelorette."

Our next stop was St. George, Utah, where Jef with one "f" was ready to show off Emily to his family. Jef's hair was so high this week, he could've been a T-Bird in "Grease." I was hoping the date would involve putting random objects on Jef's head to see if they'd stay on.

Alas, that didn't happen, but the two did have some fun riding a dune buggy and taking in some skeet shooting. Jef then said he wanted Emily "to hold a gun all day long." Goodnight everybody!

The family gathering consisted of Emily meeting several of Jef's siblings and their families, but not his parents. In the season's extremely awkward edit, Jef said his parents were in South Carolina "doing charity work."

But in a conference call with reporters a few weeks back, Jef mentioned that his parents were serving at a Mormon mission in South Carolina, adding that he was a "non-practicing" Mormon. I find it a tad puzzling that the show toned down the purpose of Jef's parents' work in South Carolina, especially given that missions are a critical part of LDS culture, unless Jef specifically requested that his Mormon background not be discussed on air.

Moving on to Scottsdale, Arizona, where Emily was "excited" about seeing Arie, as their relationship is "awesome." At this point, viewers playing the "Bachelorette" drinking game would be completely wasted.

Given their racing backgrounds, Emily and Arie met up at Phoenix International Speedway, where Arie demonstrated the power of the IndyCar to NASCAR-centric Emily.

The two then headed to the Luyendyk house to meet the brood, including Arie's dad, a two-time Indy 500 champion. Arie Sr., who's looking quite leathery, mentioned that his honeymoon revolved around racing, and Arie's mom told Emily that being married to a race car driver can be difficult, but it works. Arie Sr. also expressed hope that his son will make it to the end of the show.

Sadly, my dreams of Emily and Arie Sr. engaging in a heated debate over NASCAR and IndyCar failed to occur.

Our final stop was Dallas, where Emily couldn't stop talking about how perfect Sean is, especially after touring Sean's niece's life-size playhouse. Not sure what that has to do with Sean, but whatever.

Sean then had a confession to make - he still lives with his parents. Not only that, but his bedroom is a pigsty that's full of stuffed animals. Think Oscar Madison from "The Odd Couple" if he hoarded all of Felix Unger's stuff.

But wait a minute, it was all a ruse!  Sean came clean that he doesn't live with his parents, and his family put together the dirty bedroom to give Emily a scare. An interesting prank to play on Emily, but the whole scenario looked like a plotline from every mediocre '80s sitcom.

At the rose ceremony, Emily opted to give Chris the boot. Why? Emily didn't have an explanation, and Chris reacted by proudly noting he's "10 times the man" of the three remaining finalists. Apparently, Chris is the cure for low testosterone.

Next week, Emily and the final three head to Curacao for swimming, romance and tears.

What did you think of last night's "Bachelorette" episode?

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soundoff (17 Responses)
  1. It was caught this morning on computer and phones

    there you go

    March 27, 2013 at 7:48 am | Report abuse |
  2. ***


    March 27, 2013 at 7:46 am | Report abuse |
  3. Rosita Ziko

    Cornerback may not be the best position for you. It is one of the hardest and most demanding positions in terms of speed. If you're better at tackling, you might want to be a safety or linebacker. If you're good at catching you might want to consider being a receiver...

    See all of the most current short article on our own blog site

    March 27, 2013 at 7:44 am | Report abuse |
  4. mike

    My prediction: Emily may live in North Carolina, but she is not a southern girl with traditional southern values. Sean will be the last man eliminated because she just doesn't have the dynamic personality needed for compatibility. Jef will be the next man eliminated because ... simply stated ... he's hiding something related to religion, and Emily is going to smell the rat. Arie will be her pick for one reason ... they are both immature and attracted to speed. And he is a bit of a bad boy and it holds great attraction for her.

    July 5, 2012 at 8:58 am | Report abuse |
  5. Debra Savittieri

    My guess? She deosn't want any of the guys. Big hair morman man is creepy boyish, Arie- is adorable but give me a break- who can put up with that mother? The other 2 are so unmememorable I forgot their names already, ha! She wants publicity and she is in the right place-on TV! She will get a spot on a TV show, or 'her own show' and become an actress. This all is (for absolute sure) a publiciity stunt for The Batchelor, ABC, and herself. I don't agree with the Gold digger crap- she is gorgeous, regardless of her 'work' done- everyone shoudl have work done!. She 'seems' sweet and genuine, regardless of her skeletons, and she is a very marketable product on TV. I think she is boring actually but so are TV viewers. I watch it to put myself out (to sleep). Love you Arie- as you are my son
    s friend and I like you too boring Emily. Play it up and Emily- stay beautiful!

    July 4, 2012 at 11:10 am | Report abuse |
  6. Marie

    Well this show is almost over and Emily will have her "husband to be" by her side hopefully. I feel that none of these guys are marriage material...do the rest of you feel the same? Arie is the most attractive guy and lives in the "fast" lane. He seems to enjoy his chosen field of racing and is very involved in it. That leaves little time for Emily....oh but wait....she would be exposed to the media....wow! Jef is the "wild" hair one. He seems so immature and not a "father" figure for little Ricky. But wait...his parents seem to own a lot of land and must be wealthy. Does Emily only want wealth? Then there is Sean, a down-to-earth kind of guy. He seems to be stable, mature, and probably the best choice for Emily and her daughter. Emily will probably choose Jef.....?

    July 4, 2012 at 11:02 am | Report abuse |
  7. David

    Frankly I like Emily and have yet to see a concern about her. As for the gold digger quality some have stated, as I've never met the woman personally I really can't say but from what I've observed it's somewhat doubtful lest she end up with Jef or Arie who appear to come from the wealthiest families and out of the two of them I'd say go with Jef instead of Arie. Jef seems like a good guy but is he mature enough to handle the whole family thing? Arie is fascinating but the whole conversation in Dutch to the exclusion of Emily was rather awkward and utterly bad form. It's no wonder the family now lives in the States where such behaviour would be tolerated a good deal more. In Europe they'd be considered bourgeois arrivistes with manners which would be considered somewhat suspect in matters of proper social etiquette anywhere in Northern, Western, Central, and Southern Europe. Sean seems like the best one out of the group but if she's truly a gold digger she won't choose him. I've a feeling that Arie might be Jewish, which is no big deal except Jewish mothers are notorious for never being satisfied with whatever their sons' bring home. It's obvious that Arie's family was politely skeptical of Emily which was emphasized when his mother began speaking Dutch whilst Emily sat betwixt them. Oh, and why Emily didn't choose Chris, simple; Chris' father asked Emily that if she wasn't sure to not please drag it on in order to spare Chris the heartache. Emily wasn't sure, hence Chris was cut.

    July 4, 2012 at 3:37 am | Report abuse |
  8. sharnjean

    Well finally she sees the real Chris, he would have been only invloved with Emily forget Ricky, at least the other guys talk about her daughter and seem to be good with kids. It was awkward with Arie's parents and that could be problematic since Mom said "its a hard life(racing) but I love it." meaning he is going to be gone alot Humm can it be she will pick


    July 3, 2012 at 7:00 pm | Report abuse |
  9. Angie

    OK, this is the most hilarious recap of the Bachelorette that I've read to date. Thanks for the laugh, James. Although someone needs to tell Jef that 2 months is too long for leave-in conditioner, he remains my favourite as the only non-captain of the football team. Emily has been obsessed with Arie from the beginning even though he looks like a raisin toast sort of guy who is in need of a bit of exfoliating scrub. Finally, the buff blonde seems more Mormon that Jef - and I think his main food group is coleslaw which is great for a beautiful summer day but not a staple in winter. Can't even mention the Chris guy, he was so out of his leave. Did anyone notice that Emily looked totally different between the second and third hometown date - like she had facial surgery? I like her much more than any other bachelorette and I want her to succeed. That means Jef, not Arie, however.

    July 3, 2012 at 3:04 pm | Report abuse |
    • ellie

      I noticed the lightly botoxed look and possibly some self tanner or spray tan. She looked good, just "done".

      July 4, 2012 at 3:55 pm | Report abuse |
  10. Rumpelstiltskin

    First off..This is a stupid show. I don't even know why it's still on. Second, if you dislike this lady so much, why even watch it? So what if she had work done. What business is it of yours. Why don't you be productive and do something with your life instead of judging someone on a reality show that all scripted anyway.

    July 3, 2012 at 2:53 pm | Report abuse |
  11. BOOM

    If you like bachelor recaps you have go to check this out. I saw it on FB. I guess this girl and her family do this whole "Bachelor Draft" every year where everyone picks people (kinda like fantasy football). She then posts about the episode and how each person is doing. (There is a back log of like 4 years or it). Pretty funny....


    July 3, 2012 at 2:35 pm | Report abuse |
  12. T-Kat

    The more the show moves on, the less I like Emily. She is pretty, but who couldn't be with hair extensions, fake pouty lips, capped teeth, fake boobs, a mountain of make-up etc.? She seems to be looking for a provider for her and her daughter more than anything else. She was ready to give up completely on Sean when she was led to believe he was still living at home (stuffed animals aside?). And of the four hometowns, I couldn't help but notice that the guy who got sent home appeared to have the least impressive family home. She keeps talking about failure with Brad due to a lack of fundamental core issues – probably that Brad was not fundamentally as rich as she thought he was. Since Ari's family appeared to be the most wealthy and influential, my guess is he's the man of her dreams.

    July 3, 2012 at 1:31 pm | Report abuse |
  13. Paul

    Jeff may be a non-practicing Mormon but that doesn't explain why he dumped a previous girlfriend because his family doesn't approve. Emily better get his position straight on this because if they marry, she will either need to become Mormon or the two of them will likely be ostracized from the family.

    July 3, 2012 at 1:23 pm | Report abuse |
  14. Nanci

    Emily is a gold-digging want to be diva. Hope whoever she picks has a DEEP wallet, cause they will need it. She has done a number on the Hendricks family. God help whoever gets her.

    July 3, 2012 at 12:53 pm | Report abuse |
  15. Emc

    How about the awkward discussion in Dutch between Arie and his parents while Emily was just sitting there? I thought that was so strange and pretty rude. Overall, I find Emily to be incredibly fake, but maybe that's just how she comes across on screen. Sean remains my favorite, but we'll see!

    July 3, 2012 at 11:59 am | Report abuse |
    • tendertype

      I've like Sean from day one. He seems so genuine. I just don't get the hype with Jef. He is a CHILD! Did you notice all these families had very nice homes and seemed well off? Could she choose the one with the nice inheritance? She worked the Hendricks enough....

      July 3, 2012 at 12:12 pm | Report abuse |

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