April 16th, 2012
02:45 PM ET
The beginning of the end started in Arlington, Texas, with a cameo from Seth Rogen.
Having Rogen as the closer telling women, “What you know about money girl,” and subsequently being hit by a truck was brilliant. It looked like Kenny Powers was going to get the call we’ve been waiting three seasons for him to get.
Meanwhile, KP was sitting at home in Toby’s room, reminiscing. He told the gang that he was ready to move on from the Toby life, saying, “Thank you Christ for allowing all this awesome stuff to happen.” I wake up every morning and start with that prayer.
(And I love how every time we see Stevie, his faux facial hair is increasingly more ridiculous.)
At the park, Coach Mitchell Banks told KP he was getting called up to the majors and being shipped to Texas. Their back-and-forth banter was mad racist, but still hilarious.
KP then dropped in on Andrea’s class and basically told the 20-something generation that they’re all Facebook and Internet and no substance. Can I get the transcript of that?!
Oh, and KP broke up with Andrea (again). I swear that the “Necessary Roughness” theme song was playing in the background, mixed with parts of “Crocodile Dundee.”
On the beach, KP, Maria and Stevie tossed all of the sex toys from Toby’s room into the water, and then the bomb was dropped: Maria's pregnant, and she and Stevie were going to build a new life in Myrtle.
(As an aside, KP’s T-shirt wardrobe has been on point all season, and while I would have loved to share them, this a family blog, kind of. Either way, I’d love to buy a few.)
KP handed Stevie the keys to the jet ski – a.k.a., The Panty Dropper - and with that, Stephen Bernard Janowski was relieved of his duties. That was maybe the only time I got slightly choked up watching this show.
In Shelby, KP dropped by April’s house, needing to have a father-son heart-to-heart with Toby. April tells them that she came back for Toby and KP, and although that choked him up, KP told her he had to go and headed out the door.
Now on the big stage, KP couldn’t seem less happy. Roy McDaniel was back, and led a prayer/pep talk – and we got to see just how ridiculous his hair looked under that hat. If I could get a Matthew McConaughey sermon every Sunday, I’d be good.
On the field, things were going well - until KP walks off the mound. Why?
“I’m in a f****** Cameron Crowe movie,” he said en route to Shelby.
But after a few beers, KP’s minivan jumped a railing and burst into flames. We’re led to believe KP is dead and the montage of all of our favorite characters in mourning pretty much confirmed that.
Summing up his journey into one sentence, KP said the gem of the series: “I hope this inspirational novel story helps to give you inspiration in your attempts to stop being a regular normal person and to start being a champion instead.”
But as April prepped for KP’s funeral, he hopped out of the bushes with blonde hair.
“This is the only way. The press would have never left us alone,” he told her. And he’s dead serious: KP ultimately decided that he wants the life of a family man instead of the dream of baseball, sleeping around and being delusional. He walked into the house, closed the door and the credits started to roll.
So if you’re like me, you’re wondering if this is really the end of Kenny Powers. In an interview with HBO, Danny McBride left us with this:
“Well, the show is really a character piece, so as long as he’s alive there are a lot of stories you could tell,” McBride said in response as to whether the Kenny Powers saga is over. “Creatively, we feel really happy with what we’ve done. Maybe Kenny is something we’ll come back to someday.”
We’ll be here waiting.
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