Cynthia Nixon: Don't define my gayness for me
January 25th, 2012
04:30 PM ET

Cynthia Nixon: Don't define my gayness for me

Cynthia Nixon's sexuality has become quite the hot topic.

In an interview with the New York Times magazine about her role in the Broadway revival of "Wit," Nixon recalled giving an "empowerment speech" to a gay audience in which she said, "I've been straight and I've been gay, and gay is better."

(The 45-year-old actress is currently set to wed partner Christine Marinoni, who gave birth to the couple's son close to a year ago. The two are also raising Nixon's two children from her previous relationship with Danny Mozes.)

Although Nixon says some tried to convince her to change the statement because it implies that being gay is a choice, the former "Sex and the City" star says that's precisely her point. "For me, it is a choice," she told the NYT. "I understand that for many people it's not, but for me it's a choice, and you don't get to define my gayness for me."

The remark has received criticism from some in the LGBT community, and Nixon seems to explain to the Daily Beast that if she had to label herself, she'd call herself bisexual - but she wouldn't, because she doesn't like that word.

"I don't pull out the bisexual word because nobody likes the bisexuals," she says. "Everyone likes to dump on the bisexuals...I just don't like to pull out that word. But I do feel that when I was in relationships with men, I was in love and lust with those men. And then I met Christine and I fell in love and lust with her. I am completely the same person and I was not walking around in any sort of fog. I just responded to the people in front of me the way I truly felt."

Nixon acknowledges that she understands why, "for political reasons...some people want to kind of squelch this idea that being gay might be a choice...But I don't feel the need to cede the definition of what a gay person is to the bigots. They don't get to define who I am."

What do you think of Nixon's remarks?

Filed under: Celebrities

soundoff (93 Responses)
  1. Sry

    04.21.11 at 7:15 pmFat Punk KickerRoyal Anteater just rebemmer to turn your heels out the 1st couple of times.

    February 13, 2012 at 6:56 am | Report abuse |
  2. Mike P

    People who say being gay is never a choice are just as wrong as those who say it's always a choice. Some people are born into it. Some people get raped into it. Some people think, "Hey, I'll try that and see what it's like." Glad someone was honest enough to admit it. Sad she chose to do it, though.

    February 6, 2012 at 1:36 pm | Report abuse |
  3. Snarky

    Correct me if I'm wrong here, but don't you catch "gay" the same way you would catch a cold?

    January 30, 2012 at 6:08 pm | Report abuse |
  4. Lady Brucelia

    My gay friends were all born gay.

    January 30, 2012 at 6:00 pm | Report abuse |
  5. Hortense

    I thank her girlfella is kinda hot! She's a Repub too! Yeah!

    January 30, 2012 at 5:55 pm | Report abuse |
  6. aughra

    Good! Labels belong on expensive wine and clothing. Not on people.

    January 27, 2012 at 2:59 pm | Report abuse |
  7. priestforreal

    Following the short sighted reasoning of "he made some people black, some white, some smart, some not so much, some tall, some short, ..", can only lead you to "he made some people killers, some priests, some theives/rouges, some paedophiles, some good, some bad..." . Please, the line has to be drawn some where. God is not a confusionist.

    January 27, 2012 at 8:19 am | Report abuse |
  8. tom-ay

    stop abortion, have gay s3x instead.

    January 26, 2012 at 7:26 pm | Report abuse |
  9. GaPeach

    Here we go again! To the ones that ask "who cares" or "is this news" You are reading the entertainment section! Now that I found her to be that entertaining!

    January 26, 2012 at 5:01 pm | Report abuse |
  10. babs

    Now that woman has GOT to smell like fish!

    January 26, 2012 at 3:02 pm | Report abuse |
  11. I Voted

    bravo, Cynthia. i agree with her 100% on how she feels on being defined. she says she's gay, so be it. i accept it. i'm a lesbian. i am gay. that is all.

    January 26, 2012 at 2:47 pm | Report abuse |
  12. ten

    Does anybody really care who or what she sleeps with??????

    January 26, 2012 at 12:56 pm | Report abuse |
  13. Lou

    To quote one of the great funny men of the 80's...heads, it's hair pie – tails, it balls across the nose, whoa!

    January 26, 2012 at 12:21 pm | Report abuse |
  14. Whatever

    Yet another fatherless home...

    January 26, 2012 at 12:20 pm | Report abuse |
  15. misfitdiva

    Why does anyone care who she sleeps with? Its no one(s) business. If people would stop worry about other peoples bedrooms and start worring about thier own, maybe there would be a divorce in this country every 1.2 mins. Just like your mother told you...put your nose on your face and out of other peoples business.

    January 26, 2012 at 12:06 pm | Report abuse |
    • Clyde M

      Amen. When can we just get the heck out of one another's bedrooms already and move on with our lives. Let Cynthia sleep with who she wants and it isn't a big deal if it is because she's biologically driven to be attracted to that person or if she just chose to be. If being gay is a choice or not is moot next to the fact that consenting adults should be allowed to form relationships with whomever and however they want.

      January 26, 2012 at 12:14 pm | Report abuse |
  16. Freddysaces

    Wonder if she hooked up with any of the other girls on SITC – and if so why wasn't that an episode? Wouldl've been H-O-T with Charlotte 🙂

    January 26, 2012 at 11:47 am | Report abuse |
    • TubeSteak

      HOT? I dont know about that. Ever seen pics of any of the SITC in bikinis? They're all pretty hideous. Even Kim Catrell (Samantha) who was smokin hot back in the day is lookin "brown around the edges".

      January 27, 2012 at 6:59 pm | Report abuse |
  17. theDude

    I think the best term for this is mentally ill.

    January 26, 2012 at 11:42 am | Report abuse |
  18. Oldbear60

    good for Nixon. Make your own choices and stand by them. Besides, to all you men dreaming of a three way, what would you do if the girls aren't bi or willing to try. Hypocrites.

    January 26, 2012 at 11:12 am | Report abuse |
  19. peter pumpkin eater

    Sums it up. It is a CHOICE.People CHOOSE to commit crimes. People CHOOSE to live a moral existent. People CHOOSE. You were not born that way. GaGa has made a TON of money off u idiots.

    January 26, 2012 at 10:54 am | Report abuse |
  20. Lezzy Go Cod


    January 26, 2012 at 10:44 am | Report abuse |
  21. Fudge Monkey

    I love when she's t*pless on the "Big C." Could care less whether she's bi or not, just like her cans.

    January 26, 2012 at 10:38 am | Report abuse |
    • Sujata

      Jigglypufflove33 on August 9, 2009 I was tiiknhng on the final showing they would say:"This play! Was only for now..."

      February 13, 2012 at 6:47 am | Report abuse |
  22. Peikoviany

    People in the entertainment industry are suprisingly damaged and immature. There are some normal ones, but they mostly aren't representative of any other group of people anywhere.

    January 26, 2012 at 10:35 am | Report abuse |
    • Clyde M

      They may be more representative than you realize, its just that their skeletons all get put on public display while you and your friends and co-workers have more anonymity to keep your own hidden.

      January 26, 2012 at 12:16 pm | Report abuse |
  23. Mrs. Graham

    How very honest of her. Of course no one who is politically correct is going to be able to stand hearing that it is a "choice" for her. However, it sheds a bit of light, does it not?

    January 26, 2012 at 10:35 am | Report abuse |
    • Clyde M

      Sheds a bit of light on what exactly? That for HER it was a choice? That's the only light I see being shed here.

      January 26, 2012 at 12:17 pm | Report abuse |
  24. big Al of KC

    Liberals and Liberalism is killing this great country. Ms Nixon you are trying to bend reality to fit you lifestyle and to validate your reasons and not TRUE Reality. Get help and seek the truth. Look up Cause and Effect and get for real!

    January 26, 2012 at 10:34 am | Report abuse |
    • AmericanSam

      Nah it's not. Times change, and Liberalism seeks to make sure our collective mindset changes with it. Change is important.

      January 26, 2012 at 10:36 am | Report abuse |
    • JessieAndJake

      And conservative are uptight, scared and have no sense of humour. I love the name calling on this thread.

      January 26, 2012 at 11:44 am | Report abuse |
  25. freeman

    It's a choice...not in my DNA!

    January 26, 2012 at 9:24 am | Report abuse |
  26. ann west

    why do gay groups think they can tell people what to say? Gay can be a choice . Many men in prison are temporarily gay until they get out. Many poor men perform gay acts for money and have no shame about it.

    January 26, 2012 at 9:23 am | Report abuse |
    • Hope it gives you Hal

      "temporarily gay"? line of the day!

      January 27, 2012 at 1:00 pm | Report abuse |
  27. Anon

    Being free to love whom ever you choose is whats important. Not a label

    January 26, 2012 at 9:12 am | Report abuse |
  28. Ian

    Good god you people are so dumb I can't understand how you even manage to dress yourselves.

    January 26, 2012 at 8:59 am | Report abuse |
  29. mogwai

    @LCB: hope for the human race? not if we all turn gay, stupid biotch!

    January 26, 2012 at 5:07 am | Report abuse |
  30. Juliet 0.

    You're disgusting,wanting men and women.

    January 26, 2012 at 4:30 am | Report abuse |
  31. rob

    i agree with her being gay is a choice,god didn't make some people gay and others not,it is simply a choice people make.

    January 26, 2012 at 2:47 am | Report abuse |
    • Ein

      But he made some people black, some white, some smart, some not so much, some tall, some short, you see were I'm going with this? None of those things are a choice. Why would someone choose to be gay and act in a way that gets them ridiculed, hurt or worse killed? Because they don't choice to! No one is going to risk everything they have and are for a feeling they don't believe to be genuinely real. A feeling that’s just as genuine as your feelings are.

      January 26, 2012 at 6:41 am | Report abuse |
  32. Jean de Lyra Ehrlich

    In a way, everything we are comes down to choice. Whether we are physically and emotionally able to love another man or another woman may come naturally and without choice, ENGAGING in a relationship is a choice. That is the part that takes courage and consciousness–when that choice is not the popular one. She could have denied either attraction, but she choose both of them. And since she has committed to this woman, I hope we all can wish her well, as we would anyone embarking on a marriage. Congrats, Cynthia!

    January 26, 2012 at 2:44 am | Report abuse |
  33. Akimbo

    I'm sure they know how to spell TROLL too!

    January 26, 2012 at 1:17 am | Report abuse |
  34. Negishi

    Wow, you all do know that the correct way to spell "Lesbean" is actually "Lesbian" right?

    January 26, 2012 at 12:38 am | Report abuse |
  35. LCB

    Good for her!!!
    Fewer 'labels' are so much better for fostering tolerance with differences, in our free and becoming enlightened (hopefully) society. I truly appreciate her ability to profess (and live) openly – her personal philosophies in her own life. Thanx for this article – perhaps there is hope for the survival of the human race, after all!

    January 26, 2012 at 12:27 am | Report abuse |
    • Ein

      Well put! I agree completely and the more of us that agree the closer we'll be to a loving, excepting society. Yeah!

      January 26, 2012 at 6:26 am | Report abuse |
  36. Kim K

    I'm not one, but it would be nice if people knew how to spell lesbian. She's not a les-bean.

    January 26, 2012 at 12:05 am | Report abuse |
  37. hey

    I don't think anyone cares Cynthia, get over yourself.

    January 25, 2012 at 11:24 pm | Report abuse |
  38. bmo

    Who Cares!

    January 25, 2012 at 10:31 pm | Report abuse |
  39. mogwai

    who needs to define gayness? I know it when I see it. skinny jeans on guys? G@y. short hair & tats on girls? G@y.

    January 25, 2012 at 9:34 pm | Report abuse |
    • trix are for kids

      LOL. She's just looking for attention and the only way she knows how is to talk about her preferences. That's how a lot of them do it. There are many people who live their lives and stay out of the spotlight and that's respectable. These people are just trying to shove their ideas down our throats.

      January 26, 2012 at 9:23 am | Report abuse |
    • TubeSteak

      Trix...I got a nine inch idea to shove down your throat.

      January 27, 2012 at 6:54 pm | Report abuse |
  40. Matt

    I think she is right to define who she is and how ever the good lady wants to lable herself is her bussiness. Its high time as gay people we allow all to thier own individuality.

    January 25, 2012 at 9:32 pm | Report abuse |
    • ImpishLisa

      In any lifestyle that goes against society's 'rules' you'd expect them to be more accepting of others, right? But no.. go onto any fetish forum board and see, they do the same thing to people that don't fit their own ideas of 'proper' behavior. It's sad. All people need to just accept people in their glories and faults, because by doing so we accept ourselves.

      January 26, 2012 at 9:12 am | Report abuse |
  41. Anonymous

    Ugh.. sometimes I really hate society. Leave it up to humans, to have to label every fricking thing that moves on this planet. People just refuse to be happy in their skin, and love whomever they want without the fear of finger-pointing.

    January 25, 2012 at 7:55 pm | Report abuse |
  42. stella

    brava cynthia nixon! i have always felt that way about myself and got abused for it. thanks for speaking your mind. you are not only a brilliant actress but a genuine person. i applaud your candor!

    January 25, 2012 at 6:22 pm | Report abuse |
  43. Pearlz

    If anyone's messed up, it's you people! Labeling and stereotyping shows your ignorance!

    January 25, 2012 at 5:52 pm | Report abuse |
    • toadears

      Seems like the whole controversy is that refuses to be labeled by anyone. Including the gay community. LOL

      January 26, 2012 at 2:24 pm | Report abuse |
  44. Observer

    She's a liberal stooge. A gay one, but still a liberal stooge.

    January 25, 2012 at 5:48 pm | Report abuse |
  45. Shelby'80

    This woman is messed up,she isn't gay just mad at her ex.She thinks she's hurting him but that kid is going to be hurt.

    January 25, 2012 at 5:41 pm | Report abuse |
    • LCB

      Your narrowness is showing – pathetically!

      January 26, 2012 at 12:30 am | Report abuse |
    • David in Corpus

      My wife is bi. Married 20 years so far.
      My advice to other men – when your bi wife trys to talk you into a 3some because she just wants a woman again so badly dont do it. It is fun for the first few years, then the next thing you know there is a young stupid girlfriend living with you and your sharing your wife with her. One morning you wake up and realize that you now have two wives and you definately do not want one of them. Plus it is tiring as hell dealing with two of them, both s e x ually and emotionally. They gang up on you. NO, I do not want to eat at Chili's again dammmnit! Why can't we have bbq just once a fknmonth?

      January 26, 2012 at 9:52 am | Report abuse |
    • Papayua2

      David in Corpus. You just summed up the meaning of life. There's yin to every yang. While a 3 way with two chicks is every guys fantasy the price you pay may be too high if you aren't careful. Now if you could figure out a way flip the reality and bang 'em 23 a day and only listen to the nonsense for 1 then you will have achieved enlightenment.

      January 26, 2012 at 1:04 pm | Report abuse |
  46. ?

    No tracie? I'll fill in.

    I'll totally take a dump on a bis3xual lesbean.

    January 25, 2012 at 5:11 pm | Report abuse |
  47. LoJenk

    January 25, 2012 at 5:06 pm | Report abuse |
    • LCB

      IMHO – Your series of 'rants' is so unbecoming to the species labeled 'human'! but also so 'telling'. Perhaps you might consider getting a real life? someday, when you get over yourself?

      January 26, 2012 at 12:36 am | Report abuse |
  48. emilie

    Well. I for one just think she is too lesbean. Im afraid children might catch gay from her. Maybe they could put her on an island with all the other ones.

    January 25, 2012 at 4:54 pm | Report abuse |
  49. bob

    No biggie, monday wed. Fri. Sausage. Tues, thrus. Pie what's the issue?

    January 25, 2012 at 4:48 pm | Report abuse |
  50. Jessica

    I wonder if she has tattoos? She would be super gay then. All people with tattoos are gay.

    January 25, 2012 at 4:47 pm | Report abuse |
  51. Lewis

    "Can't we all just get along"? Born this way? Switch sides? I'm so confused!!!!

    January 25, 2012 at 4:46 pm | Report abuse |
    • Rpx

      04.23.11 at 1:33 amMoose (the terahd ender)P.S. I thought you would have ripped me up for my "P.S. Slash is totally hitting on me." sentence.

      February 13, 2012 at 5:05 am | Report abuse |
  52. TIM

    HOOT ! HOOT ! HOOT ! She is a lesbeen ! She is a lesbeen !

    January 25, 2012 at 4:45 pm | Report abuse |
    • Dean

      Ciao, sono arministmatore di un gruppo chiamato . Ci farebbe piacere aggiungere l?elemento al gruppo.bella macro, bella la luce ed i dettagli

      February 13, 2012 at 5:25 am | Report abuse |
  53. EMILY

    I think her remarks were GLEETASTIC !

    January 25, 2012 at 4:44 pm | Report abuse |
  54. sam

    I like her lesbean girlfriends name-Macaroni. I bet Cynthia likes to put cheese on her. Dang lesbeans.

    January 25, 2012 at 4:43 pm | Report abuse |
  55. Nody

    YEAH ! People should leave her alone ! She is REALLY REALLY GAY ! A gay lesbean.

    January 25, 2012 at 4:42 pm | Report abuse |
  56. LAB

    Ohhhh Diiiicccckkkkyyyy...!

    January 25, 2012 at 4:39 pm | Report abuse |
  57. Peace

    Sweet Jesus... Here we go...

    January 25, 2012 at 4:38 pm | Report abuse |
    • JuneCleaversBeaver

      Just let it go this is CNN's daily "its good to be gay" story

      January 26, 2012 at 8:11 am | Report abuse |
    • dave

      , and you don't get to define my gayness for me."

      and no one gets to define my height for me I feel I am 13 ft 7 inches

      January 26, 2012 at 9:23 am | Report abuse |
    • WardCleaversWally

      In my world I define gay as happy or joyful. Not scissoring or taking one up the dumper.

      January 26, 2012 at 9:26 am | Report abuse |
    • AmericanSam

      Bring on the bigots. It's like the segregationists all over again. Very, very bad human beings.

      January 26, 2012 at 10:39 am | Report abuse |
    • Ashley

      Dave...that response was hilarious haha!

      January 26, 2012 at 11:16 am | Report abuse |
    • LumpyRutherfordsHog

      American Sam
      No one mentioned whether she dug black chicks so we're all good.

      January 26, 2012 at 1:03 pm | Report abuse |

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