Soapbox: Thanks Will and Kate, but we've got our own royalty
July 8th, 2011
02:53 PM ET

Soapbox: Thanks Will and Kate, but we've got our own royalty

[Editor's Note: Matt Grant is a Brit currently making his home in Los Angeles, and a face you may recognize from ABC's "The  Bachelor." As California gets ready for a royal visit from the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, Grant is counting off the celebrity royalty already residing stateside.]

Over the Fourth of July weekend, I was a traitor to my home country. It started at the Hollywood Bowl on Saturday night with a huge fireworks display and it ended, ironically, at a British bar in Santa Monica.

I drank, stuffed my face with grotesque volumes of barbequed meat products and celebrated my adopted country’s independence from my motherland. I didn’t go as far as to wear my stars and stripes underpants because 1) I don’t own any 2) who wears underpants? and 3) where would the stars go?

But I still celebrated Independence Day with the best of them, as I like my adopted country a hell of a lot. One thing that struck me, though, was how much the celebrations actually reminded me of home.

The red, white and blue, the old classic tunes the Hollywood Bowl Orchestra brilliantly played, the coming together of friends and the drinking, something the Brits & Irish pride themselves on.

Without a doubt, historically, socially and culturally it’s difficult to get much closer than the US and the UK, which brings me to this week's big story of Will and Kate, now known as the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge. Should we as Americans (hey, back off I’m almost one!) give two hoots that they are coming to our shores?

The British in me is quite excited, but I’m trying to figure out how interested I’d be if I were 100 percent American. Would I really care that the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge were coming to Los Angeles and Santa Barbara? Because when you think about it, we’ve got some choice celebrity royalty here already:

1. Oprah Winfrey, which is an obvious one, I know. Leadership skills? Check. National appeal? Check. Plenty of loot? Check. Empathy with the people? Check. True, her OWN network is running out of steam, but you know she’ll always bounce back. She’s a prime candidate for the US monarchy top spot.

2. Then we have the perfect All-American, glamorous family: Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. He’s a great actor and she’s a great “First Lady,” which some of you may have seen if you were able to find the controversial “Kennedys” miniseries that wound up on the Reelz channel.

3. Next up, Brangelina. The happy couple with a collection of kids from every continent who shy away from the limelight. Angeline Jolie busts her balls for the UN and Brad Pitt busts his balls dealing with her and his ex… but thankfully not his ex ex, who could be a good candidate herself.

4. Why didn’t I think of that earlier? British rock royalty meets Hollywood royalty, and they even have a child named after a fruit.

So that’s it then. Who needs Will and Kate when we've got Oprah – who, let’s face it, we’ve pretty much already made our Queen.

Filed under: Celebrities

soundoff (18 Responses)
  1. charlie crack

    Twisted people like you make these blogs suck....crazy

    July 9, 2011 at 4:50 pm | Report abuse |
  2. CaseyAnthony

    how do u know i am unemployed with too much time angela?i want kids like everyone.

    July 9, 2011 at 4:29 pm | Report abuse |
  3. CaseyAnthony

    can i have their first born?

    July 9, 2011 at 4:27 pm | Report abuse |
  4. Angela

    I'm getting sick to hear about them. People enjoying reading about this couple are unemployed & having too much time and have no dream of their own so they spend time watching others living their dream.

    July 9, 2011 at 11:29 am | Report abuse |
  5. charlie crack

    Oh @mary- shut up! Baby!

    July 9, 2011 at 5:53 am | Report abuse |
  6. Lilly

    I woudn't call the trash that makes up our celebrity list anywhere near royalty. Not that thte Royals have behaved very well in the past either, but Will and Kate could teach the rest of the world a thing or how to have a little class and still be fun, funny, uber rich and gorgeous. They don't act like the world should bow down to them even though it does. How many celebrities can you say that about? How many celebrities act like spoiled brats that can do whatever they want, and when those things finally catch up to them, they seem shocked that someone would ever tell them "no". I have not been a big "royal watcher" over the years, but I have been incredibly impressed with the class and character of these two...and could only wish that we had more people like them here for youngsters to look up to, rather than our dirty laundry list of Lindsay Lohan, Tiger Woods, Paris Hilton, Charlie Sheen....anyone from The Jersey Shore...etc.

    July 8, 2011 at 11:37 pm | Report abuse |
  7. Come On

    I found the editors note hilarious. A reality tv whor-e///.anyways SoCal should be lucky to be getting a visit from them. Its just too bad the American media (tv) makes themselves look like a bunch of idiots. Just watch KTLA tomorrow morning & you'll know what I mean.

    July 8, 2011 at 10:10 pm | Report abuse |
  8. Karen

    I'm American, and I am interested in Will and Kate's visit. As royalty, they seem truly interested in doing good for the world. And, having spent time in the UK, I adore the culture and the people there. I don't think of US celebs as royalty, but the media does a good job of portraying them as such (and not always in the kindest of in tabloids and online gossip and rumors). Good article.

    July 8, 2011 at 7:58 pm | Report abuse |
  9. alecia

    Also isnt inbreeding in human beings against the law in the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA Mary?

    July 8, 2011 at 7:46 pm | Report abuse |
  10. alecia

    My lord Mary! Oh excuse me, its my lady! Take a chill pill! He was only saying they were our version of royalty not actual royalty. Besides, given that we split from England wouldnt our guidelines for royalty be different?

    July 8, 2011 at 7:42 pm | Report abuse |
  11. stelle

    Did someone actually pay you to write this?

    July 8, 2011 at 7:25 pm | Report abuse |
  12. mary

    Americans do not have any Royalty.

    Royal blood comes from generations of ancestry – not from being on television or in movies. To put tom cruise and his brood/ bratgalina/oprah in the same category as The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge is totally inappropriate.

    July 8, 2011 at 7:00 pm | Report abuse |
  13. Bob

    you forgot about Tina & Ike Turner

    July 8, 2011 at 4:40 pm | Report abuse |
  14. bobsYerUncle

    You keep Oprah and we'll keep Will and Kate, eh?

    July 8, 2011 at 4:10 pm | Report abuse |
  15. The Måd Råp3r

    #4 seems to be missing the first part. Please tell me its not gwyneth paltrow chris martin

    July 8, 2011 at 3:50 pm | Report abuse |
  16. Tetsujin

    Ha ha! Hilarious article, Mr. Grant!

    July 8, 2011 at 3:34 pm | Report abuse |
  17. The Måd Råp3r

    We tried the royalty thing with JFK, didn't work out so well in the end.

    So what do British people think of the 4th? Is it like, "Those wacky yanks across the pond with their revolutionary hijinks." Or is it all, "Crazy Americans should've stayed with the empire. What are they celebrating?"

    July 8, 2011 at 3:20 pm | Report abuse |
  18. Mr Green Jeans

    Sorry Ho~Mo. Oprah is just a fat lying tub of SHYT!

    July 8, 2011 at 3:05 pm | Report abuse |

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