The No. 1 rule of lying: Don’t get caught.
As we, and the rest of the cast, learned early on in the season finale, Sammi and Arvin have indeed locked lips. (Gasp!)
But according to Sam, the kiss took place long before Ron and Sam’s dysfunctional relationship began ruining our Thursday nights. Interesting that Sam’s white lie is what led to the pair’s long-awaited demise.
I get that her lie is ultimately what threw Ron over the edge, but on what planet is that worse than cursing out and cheating on your significant other, Ronnie?
After a productive day at the Shore Store, the gang head over to their boss Danny’s house for a barbeque. Pauly D’s boys, Deena’s girl, Vin’s Uncle Nino and JWoww’s dad and soon-to-be boyfriend Roger join the festivities, too.
I thought the first meeting between Mr. JWoww and Roger was going to cause some drama, but it was actually Deena who stirred the pot. I’m still on the fence with this one. Did Deena deserve to be called Angelina - the most offensive insult in the English language?
She was really just protecting Snooki’s feelings when she told her friend not to smush Vinny, right? Sure, Snooki said she didn’t care if someone hooked up with Vinny, but that’s most likely only because she would have looked crazy and obsessive otherwise. So, in essence, Deena was actually being a good friend. It’s girl code, Vin. Sorry.
Despite The Situation apologizing to Sammi, and Vin and Deena acting civil toward one another, dinner at Rivoli's is a tad uncomfortable. However, things begin looking up after Pauly employs his secret weapon: The hilarious voice he uses to make people laugh and move past awkward situations.
Later on, Snooki does a cartwheel in heels. It wasn’t a particularly memorable moment, nor was it relevant to the show in any way. I was simply impressed by her form and felt the need to reference it.
Moving on…
At the club, JWoww and Roger decide to go steady (or whatever the kids are calling it these days). After all, she says, he looks like her cup of tea, they have great sex and he treats her well. (That combination is also known as the Holy Grail on the Jersey Shore.)
Ron and Sam, on the other hand, fight all the way home. And it doesn’t end there. They were yelling at each other so loudly that the entire house stopped what they were doing to listen. The boy Deena brought home looked so confused, she turned to him and said, “This happens,” before going about her business.
Whether you watched the season finale or not, you most likely know where this is going.
Ron and Sam, but mostly just Ron, decide they need some space from each other. We can only hope it sticks this time.
After zipping herself in her suitcase – because she can – Snooki says she would rather have Ron back next season than Sam. Is that the general consensus? What do you guys think?
What I think is that Snooki has a fairly decent chance of being elected president, what with her promises that the economy would rise, everyone would be tan and that all the radio stations would play house music. You’ve got my vote, girl!
Until next time (also known as the season four premiere), I leave you with one final piece of advice: Don’t fall in love at the Jersey Shore.