Kate Walsh: 'I feel like a loser'
March 22nd, 2011
10:23 AM ET

Kate Walsh: 'I feel like a loser'

She’s the star of a popular TV drama; she's appearing on the big screen in 2011; and she just released a new perfume. So what's bringing Kate Walsh down?

“I thought I’d be married and have three or four kids,” Walsh says in the April issue of MORE magazine. "I feel like a loser. I would definitely love to be a parent. But I definitely don’t think I want to do it on my own. Things are just going to go the way they go...I always knew I wanted to be an actress but I think I always wanted a quote-unquote normal life [too].”

The “Private Practice” actress was married briefly in 2007. But the soon-to-follow very public divorce from film executive Alex Young taught her a valuable lesson.

“I’ve always had the courage thing,” Walsh says. “I had to develop the rest. I’ve learned to seek other people’s counsel more. That’s a good part of growing up.”

Her character, Dr. Addison Montgomery, is facing similar dilemmas this season. “Private Practice” is a show about real issues, Walsh said: “What it’s like to be a woman in your forties, childless, in a relationship, been married, divorced… not that there are any parallels to my life.”

Speaking of “Private Practice,” there’s a new sexy in town and his name is Benjamin Bratt. The actor will appear in this season’s finale, according to The Hollywood Reporter, before joining as a series regular.

We’re sure Walsh will welcome him to the set with open arms. “I think I’ve always created community,” Walsh says. “I can create an instant home… I think that’s served me well and other times not served me well - like thinking, ‘Oh, hey! Let's get married.’”

soundoff (60 Responses)
  1. Rob

    Dear Kate:

    I'm a kind man that loves to pamper his lady. I believe in love, trust, and monogamy. I think parenthood is the most wonderful thing one can experience and I think we should first become friends, date for awhile, we'll fall madly in love with each other and the family thing falls into place. I say give love a chance!!


    March 23, 2011 at 9:43 am | Report abuse |
  2. D

    If she does find the right guy and she cant have kids by then, she could adopt?

    March 23, 2011 at 3:03 am | Report abuse |
  3. seriously

    I think people are so selfish when they think they need to have children to complete themselves and I can't believe I'm wasting my time reading this CNN TABLOID journalism GARBAGE!!!!who really cares, I don't even know who this is

    March 22, 2011 at 11:58 pm | Report abuse |
  4. Drake

    To all the women who have not found the right guy: STOP waiting and start your family now! It is 2011 ! You can have a family without a man! Is it hard to do? Sometimes but at least you will have children and a home filled with love and laughter. Get a sperm donor and do it. Or a surrogate. But don't wait until it's too late! Maybe the man will be in your life later but until then....make your dreams come true! I am a Dr. in CA and I encourage women all the time to make their dreams come true by having children in their lives! You want some??? Have them NOW !!!

    March 22, 2011 at 11:28 pm | Report abuse |
    • D

      I think Kate Walsh was implying in the artical that she wanted to have a man in her life that would also be another person to care for childeren she wants to have...maybe she doesn't want to be a single mom-but wants a family, and I think that was her point. I'm sure if she wanted kids without a man she would have them by now.

      March 23, 2011 at 2:47 am | Report abuse |
    • D

      oops, another typo. I meant "children" not "childeren"-so you nazis dont get on my @$$ again...

      March 23, 2011 at 2:49 am | Report abuse |
  5. She's cold

    I couldn't like her less.

    March 22, 2011 at 10:36 pm | Report abuse |
  6. @N

    U have money and looks!!!!! Stop complaining and find urself a great guy get married and have some childern.good luck.

    March 22, 2011 at 10:11 pm | Report abuse |
  7. Bill & Ted

    Dude, there'4 the frickin' cowbell dude again! schmuck posts the same junk every time! how bogus! LAME, DUDE!

    March 22, 2011 at 9:42 pm | Report abuse |
  8. Mike Masters

    More cowbell!

    March 22, 2011 at 5:58 pm | Report abuse |
  9. truthinrock

    Cry me a river you effin pos!

    March 22, 2011 at 5:51 pm | Report abuse |
  10. Douglasson!

    I feel ya girl! I'm a guy in a similar situation. Professional, successful, good-looking, and hard-working. And no one but crazies and lazies on the radar. Too proud to settle for less and not quite proud enough to bark UP the food chain. It'll happen some day, when it's right, and in that I feel solice. It's a profound thing to be great in so many peoples' eyes, but to feel not up to snuff in your own. I'm just thankful they're not writing stories about MY inner, secret trials... but it would be a good avenue to scare up a nice date 🙂 Best of luck and a big hug

    March 22, 2011 at 5:41 pm | Report abuse |
  11. pdrapala

    Donating my time to help others always makes me feel good about myself.

    March 22, 2011 at 5:21 pm | Report abuse |
  12. Prince Charming

    Alright loser.... because Im so giving , Ill save the day and knock you up!

    March 22, 2011 at 4:55 pm | Report abuse |
  13. Steveiam

    I'd hit it!

    March 22, 2011 at 4:47 pm | Report abuse |
  14. Mary

    I'm glad there is finally an actress who doesn't want to have kids without someone to raise them with. She seems to be a good role model (at least better than most actresses) and Benjamin Bratt is joining PP–I might have to start watching!

    March 22, 2011 at 4:16 pm | Report abuse |
  15. Mom of 4

    I find it interesting that Walsh is lamenting not having kids by now, and yet she is one of the biggest supporters of abortion and Planned Parenthood. Walsh is just proving that it is inherent in women to want a marriage and children. I know so many women in their 40's and 50's who regret going for the career and all that comes with it. They are successful, have a nice car and a home, yet they come home to an empty house each night. A career will only satisfy temporarily. Having the love of a husband and children lasts a lifetime.

    March 22, 2011 at 4:03 pm | Report abuse |
    • Melanie

      Obviously she wants people to have the choice of parenthood. If you want to force women to give birth, move to a Muslim country.

      March 23, 2011 at 12:19 am | Report abuse |
    • Ruthkj

      Another mislead soul believing Planned Parenthood is pro-abortion. As the mother of two daughters, I would far rather they learned about prevention rather than face the agony of an unplanned and potentially unwanted pregnancy. Even married women with a loving husbands & families don't want a new baby every 12 months. Go Kate!

      March 23, 2011 at 6:49 am | Report abuse |
  16. Lovelylocks

    A loser? This is exactly what young girls DO NOT need to hear. The idea that, as a woman her life isn't complete without a husband and children is the last thing young impressionable females need to hear. And to add in the fact that she labels herself a loser, is the mental chatter of a woman with low self-esteem. It is okay to want a family, but to discount yourself for not having one is sad.

    March 22, 2011 at 3:45 pm | Report abuse |
  17. Lovelylocks

    A loser? This is exactly what young girls DO NOT need to hear. The idea that, as a woman her life isn't complete without a husband and children is the last thing young impressionable females need to hear. And to add in the fact that she labels herself a loser, is the mental chatter of a woman with low self-esteeem. It is okay to want a family, but to discount yourself for not having one is sad.

    March 22, 2011 at 3:45 pm | Report abuse |
  18. Angie France

    Well you are right Kate. You're only getting publicity because of your millitant stance for killing babies.

    March 22, 2011 at 3:42 pm | Report abuse |
  19. E. Perafe

    If Kate feels like a loser then I guess she is.

    A lot of things in my life haven't turned out the way I want, but a loser I never will be.

    March 22, 2011 at 3:38 pm | Report abuse |
  20. charles sheenstein

    I'd marry her in a heartbeat! And introduce her to WINNING!

    March 22, 2011 at 3:34 pm | Report abuse |
  21. @Mormon

    if she gave more oral she'd feel looser? is that what you meant to say? cause she didn't say she felt loose, she said she felt like a loser.

    March 22, 2011 at 2:56 pm | Report abuse |
    • Mormon

      By God, you're right! Where's my English teacher when you need her?
      If she gave more oral she would feel like less of a loser.

      March 22, 2011 at 3:53 pm | Report abuse |
  22. Superhiro

    Never heard of this person before.

    March 22, 2011 at 2:34 pm | Report abuse |
  23. KHay

    Ohhhh bad choice of words Kate Walsh. As women our success in life should never be determined by any one thing. I think you are sending the wrong message to women everywhere that by not having been married or having children they are 'losers'. I can think of five other ways you could have gotten your own personal 'hopes' out there without insulting a large portion of the female population. Have fun with this mini PR nightmare.

    March 22, 2011 at 2:30 pm | Report abuse |
    • sadiesadie

      Why are her words wrong? She wa.td children and that hasn't happened yet so she feels like a loser in that area.
      Why should she bot be able to voice her legitimate thoughts about a situation? O want children and feel like I have failed in this part of my life. I will say it freely without care for this political correctness crap.

      March 22, 2011 at 2:45 pm | Report abuse |
    • Orangelily

      I do not think she chose the wrong words. Those are words for how she feels with this aspect of her life. I do not think she is saying all women with no husband/children are losers, just that she hoped for this and it hasn't happened and she feels like she has lost out at this time.
      Not bad words Kate Walsh–feelings are what they are, and I for one feel the same in my life. Very happy with all other things in my life, but a HUGE hole where husband/children should be and I cannot just magically make that happen.

      March 23, 2011 at 9:51 am | Report abuse |
  24. Meh

    Want to lose your career and looks? Get married and have those kids...you're better off staying hot

    March 22, 2011 at 2:27 pm | Report abuse |
  25. Ooooo

    Lumburg f ' d her.

    March 22, 2011 at 2:25 pm | Report abuse |
  26. Faceless

    ROFL!! I mean I can't say you aren't telling the truth but when we can post on here nameless/faceless we can be anything we want to be. Find it hard to believe if you were that busy and "famous" you'd be on here commenting.

    March 22, 2011 at 2:25 pm | Report abuse |
  27. LLSL


    March 22, 2011 at 2:24 pm | Report abuse |
  28. Steve-O

    She's put her name behind a perfume line. Do we really need more perfume scents? Yeah, she's a loser for sure.

    March 22, 2011 at 2:08 pm | Report abuse |
  29. Erich555

    Babe? can you get me a beer and a sandwich? Game's almost on.

    March 22, 2011 at 1:55 pm | Report abuse |
  30. drew

    ME! ME! Choose me!!!

    March 22, 2011 at 1:50 pm | Report abuse |
  31. J0nx

    Silly girl. I remember when she got married and made this whole big event out of it that was all over the tabloids and then like a month later announced her divorce. I also seem to remember her being pregnant at one point and then she wasn't. Guess she lost it? That whole marriage debacle really made me look negatively on her though. That was just ridiculous.

    March 22, 2011 at 1:49 pm | Report abuse |
  32. richaroo

    I'd give her some kids!

    March 22, 2011 at 1:38 pm | Report abuse |
  33. Elle

    I find it sad that someone can be so successful at her chosen career but think of herself as a "loser" because she isn't married with children. We all succeed at some things we want to do and fail at others. Branding yourself a "loser" for not being a mom only will just bring you (and other women in similar positions) down.

    March 22, 2011 at 1:26 pm | Report abuse |
    • Marilee

      Actually, it makes me feel better. Its good to know there are other people out there in the same boat as me-even a successful actress like her.

      March 22, 2011 at 1:45 pm | Report abuse |
    • Kate

      I think she probably means she feels like a "loser" in this aspect of her life, which may in her mind overshadow the success she's had professionally as it likely gives her different forms of fulfillment. She wants a family, but it hasn't happened for her yet, so she feels like she's failed in achieving this goal that she has for herself.

      March 22, 2011 at 2:13 pm | Report abuse |
    • cynix

      I understand what she's saying. She's gotten to a certain age where she thought things would be a certain way. I'm there too sister. And she's right, you do feel like a loser - expecially when "society" (for lack of a better word) pretty much says if your single with no kids by a certain age there must be something wrong with you. I've started telling people my standards are just too high. 🙂

      March 22, 2011 at 4:25 pm | Report abuse |
  34. Alturn

    Everyone is given different blessings. Sometimes the blessing is that we do not get the things we wish we had.

    "Infertility means a woman cannot give birth to a child. What does the woman do? She goes to hospital for treatment in order to give birth. In Maitreya’s view, infertility is not a disease, or a deficiency. Instead, it is important to understand why one woman is fertile and another is infertile. The differences here are natural because, as evolution proceeds from one stage to another, the Self becomes that much more independent, free from commitments.
    When you are on the threshold of salvation, everything leaves you. In the case of the infertile woman, nature has created opportunities around her so that she can learn to look within. Maitreya says: “Look at saints. When they reach the threshold of the Lord, they have to leave everything behind. They give up a mundane life. This is done by the individual. But when nature gives you these conditions, they are natural. They are the blessings of the Almighty.” This does not mean that fertile women are not on the road to salvation. But in the cycles of birth and death, each individual soul will come to the same stage."
    – World Teacher Maitreya through an associate as reported by Share International

    March 22, 2011 at 1:22 pm | Report abuse |
    • Kate

      Did you read the article? She isn't talking about being infertile, she is unmarried and wants kids, but doesn't want to have them w/o are partner.

      March 22, 2011 at 2:08 pm | Report abuse |
  35. Drake

    I am a Dr. in San Diego. Get some of your eggs taken out and fertilized by a donor. You will at least have a family in a different way if you never find the right guy.
    You seem like a sweet person. I wish you the best but cover all options before it is too late. Better half of what you dream of than none.
    Good luck!

    March 22, 2011 at 12:48 pm | Report abuse |
  36. Vee

    I can relate: I spent so much time cultivating my career and trying to avoid being a single-parent that I now wonder if I'll ever have my 'happily ever after.' Whiel its true that not everyone is wife-n-mom material, I would like to think that God will give us the desires of our hearts if we're up to the task. I'll keep praying–that's all I can do.

    March 22, 2011 at 12:47 pm | Report abuse |
    • jnuey

      boo hooo.. poor me.

      March 22, 2011 at 1:37 pm | Report abuse |
    • Stephen

      Hey Jnuey, why are you being a jerk? I'm a married 26 year old guy with NO desire for kids (same as my wife), but I don't go out of my way to be a turd to people that maybe DO have that goal in life! BTW, I know I'm disobeying the first rule of internet trolls: Ignore them.

      Vee, good luck finding what you want in life. Hopefully Jnuey will find some goals too. I'd suggest starting by finding something besides trolling the marquee section of CNN.

      March 22, 2011 at 5:24 pm | Report abuse |
    • downsouth

      Vee, I think you are wonderful! 🙂

      March 22, 2011 at 5:48 pm | Report abuse |
  37. Head Diva In Charge

    It's really to bad that a bright talented women feels like a "loser" for not having kids. Not every women is meant to – we all know I am not! She is leading a full productive life. She should embrace that and not feel that she has to apologize for her choices.

    March 22, 2011 at 12:00 pm | Report abuse |
    • Leigh

      You missed the point, by trying to relate the article to your own life. She wants to have a family – she doesn't feel like a loser for not wanting it. For some people, having children is very important and failing to do so can be disappointing.

      March 22, 2011 at 12:51 pm | Report abuse |
    • Orangelily

      Yes, I think you missed the point too. She does not feel like a loser because of her choices....the choice was not hers. Her life has played out in a different way than she hoped for at this point. She did not choose to not have children at this point, she wanted to, but her life has gone a different direction.
      I can relate to her as I am almost 40 and also thought I would be married with many kids at this point in life. However, I have not yet met the man I am to marry and therefore I do not have the children I wish I had. This was definitely not my choice! I feel horrible for it and I do feel like a loser as well. I will likely have to live the rest of my life without biological children and that is a VERY hard pill to swallow.

      March 23, 2011 at 9:43 am | Report abuse |
    • mia65

      I agree, as a 40-ish woman who wanted a family but did not want to do it alone or with the 'wrong' person, you have to let it go. That doesnt' mean you will never have a family but it may not be the conventional type. It is not wrong to want things but it is not healthy to want it to the exclusion of everything else or with the belief that it will be the one thing to make you happy. If you are not happy with yourself or tag yourself a 'loser', no thing or other person in your life will change that. Sometimes you have to take and make the best of what is on your plate , or find other things to do: life is what you make it.

      April 18, 2011 at 8:48 am | Report abuse |
  38. Tony C.

    We are big fans of hers.

    March 22, 2011 at 11:59 am | Report abuse |
  39. Gabriel Berk Esquire

    She is a wonderful actress; she is a wonderful role model.

    March 22, 2011 at 11:58 am | Report abuse |
  40. Tammy_Ann

    She is such a brilliant actress. I did not realize the parallels between the Private Practice plot & her real life. She seems like such an outstanding person, I wish her the best!

    March 22, 2011 at 10:55 am | Report abuse |

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