'The Notebook': Hazardous to relationships?
January 5th, 2011
08:44 AM ET

'The Notebook': Hazardous to relationships?

"The Notebook" may be considered one of the most romantic movies ever made, but its star, Ryan Gosling, claims the film actually caused one couple to call it quits.

"One guy told me that he was engaged and [his fiancΓ©e] broke up with him after that movie, because she said to him, 'You wouldn't build a house for me, would you?'" the 30-year-old actor says in an interview with IFC, referring to a scene in "The Notebook."

"He was like, 'Well, no, but I don't know how,'" Gosling continued. "She said, 'But if you knew how?' He said, 'No, I wouldn't. But it doesn't mean I don't love you.' She said, 'Yeah, it does.' And she called it off."

Gosling, currently starring opposite Michelle Williams as one half of a couple in the midst of a breakup in "Blue Valentine," says he drew inspiration for his latest role from his fighting friends.

"Before I did the film, I went and talked to my friends who were married with kids, and I said to them, tell me your biggest problem with him and then you tell me your biggest problem with her," he says. "She was like, 'Well, he f-ing never washes the sponge. And every time I go to grab the sponge, it's cold and full of food, and I'm just going to kill him. And then he always parks as far away as he can and he never gets the spot that I want him...' and she had a whole list.

"And then I said to him, 'What's your problem with her?' And he was like, 'Pretty much that she's got those problems with me.'"

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  1. I am a notebook spammer

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    June 9, 2012 at 11:09 am | Report abuse |
  2. Foectisidro

    look at 2010 coach online shopping coach bags 2011 and get big save

    February 6, 2012 at 7:36 pm | Report abuse |
  3. amused88

    LOL Look at all you people arguing over a movie. Haha, seriously, I honestly hope that people don't watch a movie and go start thinking they should do that because it's cool or something, including breaking up with a fiance. I'm not saying that what she did wasn't right, because the guy obviously didn't understand her. I'm also not saying that people should start treating something from a movie or show as something that can be carried out of the tv. Cus I've got a few choice words for you. Grow up and take a look around. This is called reality, the tv? That's all fake. ER and all those shows on tv? Aren't real. In fact reality tv? yea that's not real either, they're scripted. Anyway point is, it's good to fantasize once in awhile but don't live your life with the notion that stuff that happens in reality will be the same as in television shows.

    January 16, 2011 at 1:55 pm | Report abuse |
  4. Anon

    I have a feeling we're not getting the whole story from this "engaged guy". Maybe he was just taking her for granted, and it was a metaphor for how he felt for her – women (most) do not just just ask these types of questions, and then dump their guy. I think the movie – while not totally realistic – probably gave her a wake-up call that she was settling. Good for her....and good for him. They can now move on....

    January 14, 2011 at 7:02 pm | Report abuse |
  5. Jen

    I read a long time ago that Jessica Simpson watched The Notebook on the plane ride home from visiting her parents for Thanksgiving...and filed for divorce afterward. Something in that movie intensified whatever she was already feeling...hmmm maybe it is hazardous. It does set a pretty unreasonably high standard for what "love" is. Still love it though!!


    January 13, 2011 at 9:39 am | Report abuse |
  6. smasheduprr

    Sounds like he dodged a real bullet to be honest. Dumped because Ms High Maintenance doesn't feel he compares to a chick flick? Sheesh hopefully he took some lessons from that and finds a real woman and not some abusive, psycho-biatch shell of one

    January 11, 2011 at 6:10 pm | Report abuse |
  7. Michael Daily

    "And then I said to him, 'What's your problem with her?' And he was like, 'Pretty much that she's got those problems with me.'"

    hilarious ! :))

    January 11, 2011 at 3:11 pm | Report abuse |
  8. Kate Bazilevsky

    Actually, according to the Catalog of human population the most compatible people or soulmates are those who have their birthday on the exact same date. People with birthday on the same date are completely the same!

    January 11, 2011 at 2:45 pm | Report abuse |
  9. PKay

    She wasn't asking him to build her an actual house; she was asking him if he could put in the hard work, time, and devotion that it takes to make a relationship. Apparently, he wouldn't or couldn't, so bye-bye baby daddy.

    January 11, 2011 at 1:07 pm | Report abuse |
  10. Lisa

    Apologies for the typos. I notice there is a delay in the keystrokes (kind of like an echo on a cell phone call).

    I meant to say "to see what is philosophy is of love, marriage, and commitment". Problem with this type of informal testing is the "test-er" and the "test-ee" can't think of every scenario. And, it is paralyzing to suddenly be hit with a test on a date. It has happened to me more times than I can count, and I literally freeze. I know I am going to fail because I have no idea what they are getting at, and one gets a distinct feeling that you are going to lose no matter what you say. So, it happens to women too.

    January 9, 2011 at 11:33 am | Report abuse |
  11. Lisa

    I would like to address those who contributed to the conversation greatly by legitimately turning the perspective a couple of notches to show, in real life, what happened to you becuase you did not delve deep enough with your mate to see what he philosophical thought about commitment in the context of love and marriage. It's finding the other person's line in the sand (e.g. Do you believe in marriage at all costs? If not, where's your line?). People who believe in marriage at all costs will often stay in marriages where they are being beaten, and will make excuses for child abuse. Will you build a house for me? Will you let me cheat? Will you let me do drugs with no recovery? These things happen so, testing someone to find their commitment line in the sand is complex? I don't think I could let mysself love someone so unconditionally now to build a house no matter what but, if I wanted to make the relationship work, I would engage in the fantasy with them because it is a caring gesture.

    January 9, 2011 at 11:16 am | Report abuse |
  12. Lisa

    Jay and Mzzrbl: – I sensed your sadness. I also used to believe in love and, due to experiences with men, I don't now. And, with that loss went my romanticism. This modern world has led me to be very sad too, Mzzrbl. I have thought that many times so you struck a chord when you said that. There is so much good information available today to help people create better relationships but no one accesses it, mainly because 75% of the U.S. population doesn't read, doesn't ask, and are too ignorant and lazy. They choose to play low class, Deliverance-culture games.I run into it all the time.

    Go to a church and ask how many people have read their religious doctrine, history, manuscripts, whatever the case may be ?! You'll find very few. Ask whose read a newspaper. Ask who has actually opened their college textbook (and they actually pass the class anyway, really!). We have a nation of maile and female Tonya Hardings and Sara Palins as choices with whom to interact. Low class, crass, low ethics, low morals. These are the type of people who really hurt others because they come from a very base-level mentality. I don't blame the British for looking down their noses at us throughout history. It is as if the kids ran away from home before developing their manners and social skills (and never caught up). Love can't flourish in this trashy environment.

    January 9, 2011 at 10:52 am | Report abuse |
  13. LindaV

    Maybe he should have said, "Yes, I'll build a house...better yet, lets build one TOGETHER." πŸ˜‰

    January 6, 2011 at 3:53 pm | Report abuse |
  14. ak2190

    Is this news to anyone that men can be emotionally crippled and women can be illogically insane? I thought it was a well known fact. Men and women value different things. That isn't wrong or right, it just is. Women need to be more emotionally bent because when you think about it...being a mother isn't a very logical role if you're out to benefit yourself. -_- Men don't have to deal with that. It's nature as well as socialization. Deal with it. If you can't accept these little quirks then you will not have a successful relationship. Compromise.

    January 6, 2011 at 3:00 pm | Report abuse |
  15. Crazy in Love

    I love my boo and am going to get started on her house as soon as I finish reading all of the incredibly useful advice above...

    January 6, 2011 at 1:28 pm | Report abuse |
  16. Julian

    This article was a waste of my time and yours. POINTLESS!!!!

    January 6, 2011 at 11:18 am | Report abuse |
  17. Babydog

    You know, I keep seeing someone making a reference to the last part of the article, and after reading it again I must say....It is impossible to make some women happy! She's unhappy that he left a cold, dirty sponge on the counter, and that he parks too far away. Well, to me that indicates that #1 he used the sponge to clean something (hooray!), and #2 that he drove/took her somewhere that she either wanted or needed to go. Yet still she complains because it wasn't the way she wanted him to do it. PUHLEEZE! His only comment in return was that the only problem he has is that she has those problems with him. In other words, if she's happy, I'm happy. I love her, I do things for her, and I just wish she would not have a problem with every little thing that I do to try to help her. Women complain all the time that their men do not help them when really their complaint is that things are not done exactly the way they demand for them to be done. Ladies, give your guy some slack...if he washes the dishes, just be happy he washed the dishes. Don't stand their and criticize a dirty sponge or wrongly stacked plates. No wonder our men often times feel like they can never win!

    I'm not sure if this is what the poster was getting at about the end of the article, but these were my observations.

    January 6, 2011 at 10:59 am | Report abuse |
  18. kaylaa;*

    I thinkk that all this is ahh bunchh of BULL! If a girl/woman wantss to breakk up with her boyfriend/fiance just because of a movie, then there is something wrong with HER! Or maybe she just used the movie as kinda like an excuse too get out of it. But besides that i thinkk that The Notebook is one of the BEST movies of ALL time. πŸ™‚ <3

    January 6, 2011 at 10:25 am | Report abuse |

    This movie ended my relationship. I always told my lady friend at the time that I would never watch it as it doesn't involve explosions, fully automatic weapons, sharks or girl on girl action. She brought it over one night and demanded that we watch. She even offered me a handy half way through and a beeeeejayyyy at the end – just to keep me interested. I turned down the whole package, she began to cry saying I didn't care for her feelings. I broke up with her on the spot, gave myself a stranger and threw in Die Hard as soon as she left the apartment.

    January 6, 2011 at 10:09 am | Report abuse |
  20. Ned

    The thing about building a house is kind of like fiction, and the girl just does not understand it. The time that it would take away from the relationship, would out weigh any love that she would feel from its construction. IN the movie, he renovated the house while she was out looking for her "real" love. Sure, she must like the idea but she just has to watch any HGTV or DIY network renovation/constuction show to get an idea of what she would be in for. Not many women would put up wth a real construction project done by her love.

    That sponge thing is real. I wash the dishes, but if there is one particle of food on the 3 M pad is like the worst thing ever. I clearly don't love her if the scouring pad has one particle on it. Here is the best way to get around that. Buy the best diswasher, with pot scrubber feature, and use it. Less love but no more particles on the sponge

    January 6, 2011 at 9:56 am | Report abuse |
  21. OldenOne

    Good thing he didn't take her to see 'Apocalypse Now', not to mention 'A Clockwork Orange' or 'Manos: Hands of Fate'. God knows what questions she would have trapped him with!

    January 6, 2011 at 9:39 am | Report abuse |
  22. Tom

    So she left because the guy would not build a house for her? You people think that love is being willing to go to the ends of the earth for someone when asked???? Love is building that house when not being asked. Its also finding worth in a person who may never build that house but shows love in a thousand other ways. People want perfection in a mate. New flash......Nobody is perfect. True soulmates choose to become so by accepting the fact that they may not actually be...

    January 6, 2011 at 8:32 am | Report abuse |
  23. Been There

    Guys and Gals ... questions and furies ... If a question is asked and the result significantly changes one's opinion, then it was not really a question but a veiled command, a hidden demand for conformity. The strongest questions are the ones of curiosity, where I Love All the Range of possible answers, or at least can embrace them with true acceptance.

    Alternately: "Will you build my dream house for me?, Oh, and the specifications will randomly change, so do it quick, then do it over!"

    Better is: "Honey, do you want me to change Baby's poopy diaper for you?" That will win you more sweetness than you can imagine, and show a commitment far greater than fantasy, especially when you gag on every #2 and she knows it!

    January 6, 2011 at 6:36 am | Report abuse |
  24. Twisted Cross

    it's pretty much your damned if you do and your damned if you don't.

    January 6, 2011 at 4:37 am | Report abuse |
  25. dorothy friend

    movie was a ugly vicious travesty for people who have loved ones suffering from Alzheimers. the disease doesn't work that way.

    January 6, 2011 at 3:14 am | Report abuse |
  26. kathy

    If this movie influenced a relationship, or was the cause of a breakup, then the relationship was already in trouble. This was a movie, nothing more and I loved it. A beautiful love story.

    January 6, 2011 at 12:51 am | Report abuse |
  27. Chotprami

    Incredible story.

    January 6, 2011 at 12:37 am | Report abuse |
  28. Rob

    If a movie can destroy a relationship. Then that relationship was doomed to fail any way. Seriously how dumb are people getting these days. They can't even see that the world is running out of water. An all they care about is a movie. Its a sad day when your race are a bunch of morons and blind.

    January 6, 2011 at 12:23 am | Report abuse |
  29. mimi

    I think women tend to say something crazy like building house to test how much he luvs her. may be we just need good reaction but not literally building house. However, men can’t sense the meanings behind the line.

    January 5, 2011 at 11:54 pm | Report abuse |
  30. Logic

    Women do and always will use 'hypothetical' questions. Guys who do not know truth of this aren't really prepared to be with women. It's a hazard zone. All I can implore to the ladies out there is to stop using it against guys you really like.

    One other advice: keep your fantasies in check.

    January 5, 2011 at 9:52 pm | Report abuse |
  31. Texas

    @The crunchysoup, Therein lies the problem with women.. Women Like you! So the only way a guy can show he "gives a damn about you" is by building you a house? How pathetic! Earlier poster was right, women LIKE YOU are all about take, take, take and don't know how to GIVE. Ever thought once about what you can bring to the table(besides your va gi na) or do for him? Grow up and realize relationships are not one way streets...

    January 5, 2011 at 9:13 pm | Report abuse |
  32. thecrunchysoup

    What about the "house" = a "home" When she was asking "honey woud you build a house for me?", she was asking, "Honey would you ike to build a home with me?" I don't think she was crazy. I think women want men who give a damn and are willing to "try" to build said house, even if not one shovel breaks the ground. The fact she knows he wil build a house means more than said house.
    p.s . I had a boyfriend who broke up with me after watching this movie, because he said he couldn't love me like that. SO happy because I married a man who does love me like that...and we have built a "home"

    January 5, 2011 at 8:47 pm | Report abuse |
  33. Nikky

    Is no one paying attention to the really funny argument at the end of this article?

    January 5, 2011 at 7:47 pm | Report abuse |
    • BLOOP

      I saw it.... and I thought..... That's true in most cases!


      January 5, 2011 at 8:14 pm | Report abuse |
  34. Laurie

    She obviously was looking for an excuse to dump him. I don't believe he said anything wrong. He's better off without her if she is that superficial and selfish to act like that. There's clearly something wrong with her not him.

    January 5, 2011 at 7:43 pm | Report abuse |
  35. catie

    How about relationships are bad for relationships

    January 5, 2011 at 7:40 pm | Report abuse |
  36. mizzrbl

    As much as I would like to disagree with the "players" I cant. When my wife and I started dating we had a discussion about good guy vs. bad guy and she said the good guy is who you marry and the the bad guy is just the one you F–K. Looking back on it now I prob should have dropped her. I think the person you marry should be both. I really dont understand why women want the bad guy and really dont give the good guy a chance. We may not be as exciting but we are loyal and are willing to take care of you and if women would just open up and tell the good guy what excites them , we would be more than willing to be a little bad! πŸ™‚ All in all this modern world makes me sad......

    January 5, 2011 at 7:28 pm | Report abuse |
  37. Life isn't like the movies.

    This is what passes as news these days? WooooooW. I'm assuming this couple is 18/19 years old tops, and morons to boot.

    January 5, 2011 at 7:27 pm | Report abuse |
  38. erik

    its not just poison for couples. My dog was dead after viewing just the first 8 minutes of the film.

    January 5, 2011 at 7:13 pm | Report abuse |
  39. Lana

    To think that a man does not love you because he doesn't want to build a house for you even IF he knew how is immature. He was mature enough to give you an honest response. This woman saved a lot of time and effort by breaking up with the man. There were underlying issues in this story that are unknown to the masses. The real question is, IF she knew how to build a house, would she do it for him? Maybe, he already knew that she wouldn't do it for him so why would he do it for her?

    January 5, 2011 at 7:13 pm | Report abuse |
  40. OrionStyles

    Reality Check: When you die, you will die cold, and alone.... even if someone snuggled up to you coincidentally dies at the exact same time.

    As for the break up in the article, this should be considered a plus for the movie, not a negative. It is unreasonable to hold a relationship hostage based on fantasy.

    January 5, 2011 at 7:13 pm | Report abuse |
  41. Alyce

    My question is why wasn't she offering to build the house with him? My husband and I redid the wood floors in our house before we moved in. It was a bonding experience and something I'm glad we did together. It was a lot of hard work and I wouldn't have expected him to do it by himself while I sat home and waited for him to get it done. Hypothetical questions aren't something you end relationships over and women who play head games give the rest of us a bad reputation. If your man loves you, you know it by how he treats you and how satisfying your relationship is, you don't need mystery questions to figure it out.

    January 5, 2011 at 6:46 pm | Report abuse |
  42. Bty

    No woman should ever expect a man to do something as huge as build a house for her, but that's what makes it so romantic. I'm not saying she should have low expectations, just reasonable ones. I don't expect my husband to do half of the stuff he does voluntarily – from unloading the dishwasher to putting gas in my car – but I think it's the sweetest thing in the world that he thinks of me and does those little things without me even asking him to. And now that we're expecting our first baby, there's stuff he won't even let me do anymore. When I asked him why he said it's the least he can do considering what I'm doing for him (carrying his baby). Really, if my husband built a house for me, I wouldn't think I was deserving of him at all.

    January 5, 2011 at 6:42 pm | Report abuse |
    • Jimbo

      Bty, You sound like a real resonable woman. The fact that you notice your husband does those things for you and that you recognize that he is doing it because he loves you probably makes your husband very happy and that is a great thing to have. If he were to build you a house, you would deserve it way more than the woman in this article...good for you!

      January 5, 2011 at 6:46 pm | Report abuse |
  43. grant

    He should of built her a shack and locked her azz in it!

    January 5, 2011 at 6:38 pm | Report abuse |
  44. bostongye

    What are the conditions of her question I wonder. Like if we're stuck on a deserted island, of course Id build a house for you. Are we living in regular society and you just want me to randomly build you a house for no reason but because youre a brat? Its like ya Ill do it but Im gonna hate you after for making me do it in the first place.

    January 5, 2011 at 6:37 pm | Report abuse |
  45. TL

    ."..It was like a fantasy question. It was probably best she dumped him. He wasn't Mr. Right...."
    Mei, the poster mentioned no other issues with this man. From the facts presented, we have a woman dumping a guy because he gave a direct answer to a direct question. So, for anyone who lists honesty as the #1 trait critical to a relationship: please consider how that will play out, and whether or not you're mature enough to handle it. Fantasies are fun until they interfere with reality. You may not realize that the guy who indulges you in fantasy-talk is a player. His answers conform to your dreams so that your inclined position will be the one that he wants.

    January 5, 2011 at 6:20 pm | Report abuse |
  46. truthinrock

    Thank every god in the universe the guy found out his fiance was shut a nut case before he married her!

    January 5, 2011 at 6:18 pm | Report abuse |
  47. crishelle

    ok all you guys out there, listen up. The house wasn't a house in that question, but a symbol. She didn't want him to build her a house but to have an answer, any answer, that would show that he would go to great links for her. if he is a car man, maybe he'd build her a car, if he was a computer geek, no but i'd build you the bes computer.....any thing romantic. girls in this day and age with divorce so prevalent just want to know that they are important enough to their man that he would do something to either preserve the memory of their love or chase after her in whatever manner he would have done, not just give up on her. And btw some actually do marry for life still today. but the man needs to learn to come into the womans fantasy a little and reassure her and the woman needs to assure the man that reality is enough, she just like to dream now and then! Also, that relationship was doomed before that question was ever asked. No solid relationship would ever end over something so silly!

    January 5, 2011 at 6:17 pm | Report abuse |
    • gremlin

      Bull. It was a head game. I watch my single girlfriends (and occasionally guyfriends) play them all the time. They need constant reassurance in a relationship. It's usually the ones that have been royally scr3wed over by a previous relationship. Metaphor or not, it's a test and it in and of itself signals a serious problem with the relationship.

      January 5, 2011 at 6:27 pm | Report abuse |
    • Jimbo

      Every girl that has ever asked me hypothetical questions like the one you are defending ended up being nuts. I'm glad they ask those questions so now I know which ones to avoid.

      January 5, 2011 at 6:33 pm | Report abuse |
  48. linkspast

    I'm a 31 year old female and I would build a house for my girl, if I could. Anything for her. That's just what makes me happy.

    January 5, 2011 at 6:14 pm | Report abuse |
  49. dee

    why is this news? that random broke up over a movie? who cares? Gosling probably made that up to screw w/ the media dorks asking the questions..

    January 5, 2011 at 6:10 pm | Report abuse |
  50. Billy

    The only reason men buy va gi na (say it with me – Va-gi-na, not feminine) products for women is because they are afraid of what will happen if they didn't. Either incessant nagging, or holding out, or not cooking - whatever it is that the man gets most out of the woman.

    January 5, 2011 at 6:09 pm | Report abuse |
    • Who am I to Judge?

      Cooking? What century do you live in?

      January 5, 2011 at 6:14 pm | Report abuse |
    • Tina Yothers

      Yeah, cooking! He forgot to add getting the man a beer when he needs one.

      January 5, 2011 at 6:17 pm | Report abuse |
    • T Roy

      Thanks Tina for recognizing what a nice gesture getting your man a beer is ;o) Just me being a smart aleck. Been married for 30 years, and it has not lasted that long by "expecting" things, or taking things for granted.. Mutual respect goes a LONG way

      January 6, 2011 at 10:56 am | Report abuse |
  51. bostongye

    An alternate answer he could have given would just appease her, then take her to see Black Swan, and then ask her if she'd get into some lezbo action with another gorgeous woman for him.

    January 5, 2011 at 6:06 pm | Report abuse |
    • Who am I to Judge?

      OK but only ask if you really want to know

      January 5, 2011 at 6:12 pm | Report abuse |
    • James

      I would have told her, "Sure I'll build you a house, and I'll make sure that I build an extra big front door so your fat ass will fit through it!"

      January 5, 2011 at 6:22 pm | Report abuse |
    • bostongye

      I really want to know if she'd do it and if yes I'd really want her to do it.

      January 5, 2011 at 6:23 pm | Report abuse |
    • gremlin

      Please, I've never met a hetero guy that didn't have that on his fantasy list.

      January 5, 2011 at 6:24 pm | Report abuse |
    • bostongye

      It could possibly be the man's "would you build a house for me?"

      January 5, 2011 at 6:28 pm | Report abuse |
  52. Space Kravek

    Ladies, you should indulge your men's fantasy questions, too.

    For example, the answer to "Honey, would you let me drive around in an orange muscle car and jump ramps while running from Roscoe P Coltrane, then go hump on the hottest hillbilly chick around (and who happens to be my cousin)?" the answer is "Yes, dear"!

    January 5, 2011 at 6:06 pm | Report abuse |
  53. Seriago

    The day I'd have to prove my love to my partner is the day I should move on from that kind of toxic relationship/person. God help us.

    January 5, 2011 at 6:05 pm | Report abuse |
  54. gremlin

    OMG, I'm sure other people have said this before, but from reading the article this movie should be praised for helping guys recognize crazy chicks that think the first half of "how to lose a guy in 10 days" is an instruction manual. She should just be glad she found a guy that would a) go to a chick flick with her and b) is honest with her. As a woman, I've found that both of those are among the rarest and most highly valuable qualities.

    January 5, 2011 at 6:01 pm | Report abuse |
  55. CommonSense

    Women like that are dumb. They think they are delicate princesses that deserve everything they want and should have a fairy-tale life. That's why I like women who are more independent and confident; the kind that are more grounded in reality and have a mind of their own, who don't need fantasy tales like 'Twilight' and 'The Notebook' to romanticize their lives.

    January 5, 2011 at 5:59 pm | Report abuse |
  56. Dr Lapaglia

    You know batches will be batches, so women rather have a bag of lies instead of the truth, because women are egotistical sheeple that watch hollywood movies to get the definition of love.

    January 5, 2011 at 5:57 pm | Report abuse |
  57. Taylor Towry

    Why would he say he wouldnt if he knew how?? Guys should learn to think before they answer questions.If this guy would have thought before he answered, he would probably still be engaged! Just sayin..

    January 5, 2011 at 5:56 pm | Report abuse |
    • bostongye

      Granted he was stupid for his answer, but why would she ask to begin with? Is she 15?!

      January 5, 2011 at 6:03 pm | Report abuse |
  58. Walter

    Men's Rules : Please note, they are all numbered '1' ON PURPOSE!
    1. Men are NOT mind readers.
    1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
    In fact, all comments become void after 7 days.
    1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
    That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
    1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want
    it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it,
    just do it yourself.
    1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
    down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us
    complaining about you leaving it down.
    1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
    1. Sunday sports, it's like the full moon or the changing of
    the tides. Let it be.
    1. Crying is blackmail.
    1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one!
    Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work!
    Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
    1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
    1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the
    ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
    1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
    1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
    1. All men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
    Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
    We have no idea what mauve is.
    1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
    1. If we ask what is wrong and you say nothing, we will act like
    nothing is wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth
    the hassle.
    1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer
    you don't want to hear.
    1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
    1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
    discuss such topics as baseball or golf.
    1. You have enough clothes.
    1. You have too many shoes.
    1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
    1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know I have to sleep on the
    couch tonight but did you know men really don't mind that?
    It's like camping.

    January 5, 2011 at 5:54 pm | Report abuse |
    • bostongye

      Someone really needs to stroll down a middleeastern mountain with these rules etched into stone tablets.

      January 5, 2011 at 6:00 pm | Report abuse |
    • Jimbo

      Those are great! I love the last one about sleeping on the couch...I had to do that once and I was like, "OK, you mean I get to sleep out here next to the kitchen with food and get to watch TV all night with no interuptions...sweet!"

      January 5, 2011 at 6:05 pm | Report abuse |
    • Samntha

      Love you for your honesty! hate you for your honesty!

      January 5, 2011 at 6:06 pm | Report abuse |
    • Who am I to Judge?

      SINGLE man's rules

      January 5, 2011 at 6:08 pm | Report abuse |
    • babydog

      I love this whole list...best laugh I've had in a long time! Thanks for posting!

      January 6, 2011 at 11:31 am | Report abuse |
    • A Girl

      Agreed definately a single man right here!

      January 6, 2011 at 8:08 pm | Report abuse |
  59. Jon

    ....if you're fiance calls it off based on your willingness to build a house – then I say you dodged a boat-load of cray and are much better off.

    January 5, 2011 at 5:51 pm | Report abuse |
  60. naynay

    Real life Hollywood.
    Q: "Honey, would you build me a house?"
    A: "Yes, a nice big house so I have plenty of room to hook up with your cute friends."

    January 5, 2011 at 5:50 pm | Report abuse |
  61. hanna

    FYI woman quit making up excuses for this woman about how her "will you build me a house?" question wasn't literal. You're just as delusional as she is.

    January 5, 2011 at 5:49 pm | Report abuse |
  62. James the Aithiest.

    I'd never admit it to anyone in person but that movie makes me cry like a little baby.

    January 5, 2011 at 5:49 pm | Report abuse |
  63. Dan

    I'm glad I'm gay.

    January 5, 2011 at 5:46 pm | Report abuse |
    • IceT

      What's a gay mans take on that movie? Good or bad?
      How would you answer the house question if asked?

      January 5, 2011 at 5:50 pm | Report abuse |
    • gremlin

      How does that help? I have plenty of gay friends that can give my spoiled princess type girlfriends a run for their money (or tiaras as the case may be.)

      January 5, 2011 at 6:04 pm | Report abuse |
  64. How Surreal

    My wife decided to ask me to move out after watching Eat, Pray Love. Don't get me wrong – I made plenty of mistakes in our life together – PLENTY, but can relate that a **** movie can be a relating factor to help a woman in deciding she is not happy in her current situation. Guys, if you are reading this, treat your woman with respect – cherish them and nurture them and life a selfless life of you will live the rest of yours by yourself. Good luck...

    January 5, 2011 at 5:43 pm | Report abuse |
    • How Surreal

      sorry for the typos. LIVE a selfless life or you will end up living your life BY YOURSELF. This is tough, as this just happened the day before Christmas Eve, 2010. Again, good luck.

      January 5, 2011 at 5:46 pm | Report abuse |
    • gremlin

      If someone has to be told that, they probably shouldn't be married (or won't be for long).

      January 5, 2011 at 6:05 pm | Report abuse |
    • Who am I to Judge?

      Or your wife chose a movie that related to her likely long building general dissatisfaction with her situation. Maybe the movie helped her organize her many and complex thoughts and feelings about her road ahead, maybe not. But if it helps you to think the movie pushed her over the edge, maybe you're right. How about trying out that be selfless thing on her, you never know.

      January 5, 2011 at 6:06 pm | Report abuse |
    • How Surreal

      WhoAmIToJudge – You are correct. This movie did not push her to make this decision – it aided her in her self-review and in making her decision to part and heal herself. It breaks my heart, as I truly love her and have been a worthless husband for 3 years. I have had a total life-realization as a result of this situation and am doing everything in my power to better myself, regardless of her final decision. My main reason for posting is to encourage any man who may read my post to ACT on his love. I wish I would have had this realization sooner and am trying with all my heart and soul, but do not know if it is too late for her. It will be never too late for me to improve myself. I do appreciate your post.

      January 6, 2011 at 10:16 am | Report abuse |
  65. 409

    Honestly, the guy OBVIOUSLY was only in his first or second relationship. I'm engaged and have been with my fiancee' for about 6 years. In that 6, I've told her that I'd put the moon in our backyard, that I'd make the earth stop spinning until I saw her again, and many other things. The thing is, she definitely knows that for some pretty obvious reasons she should NEVER walk into the backyard and expect the moon, BUT she also knows that I truly FEEL that way, and I think that's one aspect of what women want, for us to feel. As men we're practical thinkers, so why the hell would we talk about the moon being in our backyard, right? Sometimes you just have to know how to keep a woman, no matter how impractical it seems.... If you don't somebody else will.....

    January 5, 2011 at 5:40 pm | Report abuse |
    • Jimbo

      No sense keeping a woman around that asked unreasonable things of you just to get a reaction, that is my opinion. I think sometimes you just have to know when say "no" and see how she reacts, then you will know how much she really loves you.

      January 5, 2011 at 5:46 pm | Report abuse |
    • 409

      I didn't lose her and she never asked those things of me, I voluntarily said them. I definitely hear what you're saying though, and couldn't agree more..... That's why I REFUSE to wipe anything in the house.... I might bust some suds from time to time, and take out the trash, but I sprinkle some "no's" in there on a regular.... You know, just to keep a healthy balance....

      January 5, 2011 at 5:56 pm | Report abuse |
    • gremlin

      Everyone is different. If someone told me they'd put the moon in the back yard or make the earth stop spinning and it wasn't a joke, I'd probably dump their sappy butt. Aside from having no understanding of the laws of physics or celestial events, people who waste their time on cheap talk annoy me. If your fiancee likes it, good for her, but don't assume that "how it works." If I asked asked the guy if he would build a house for me, I'd be messing with him and the one I ended up with would mess right back. This guy made the right choice by being himself. Some people value honesty and real actions, not pie in the sky promises and syrupy talk. Everyone is different and often the trick is not to find someone who is perfect but rather someone who is perfect for you.

      January 5, 2011 at 6:11 pm | Report abuse |
  66. MrsBisinger

    Ha ha! She should have married him! Sounds like an honest guy. She was trippin. Everyone is selfish. There's just few people who are strong enough to admit it. And even fewer who can love someone once they realize that person is selfish like them. C'mon everyone, let's make the exodus out of idealism into realism.

    January 5, 2011 at 5:40 pm | Report abuse |
  67. Fullbag

    So, The Notebook is hazardous to relationships because it was for ONE relationship?

    CNN is keeping up it same, low standards...

    January 5, 2011 at 5:38 pm | Report abuse |
  68. lilgtogirl

    No offense but anyone who finds the Notebook, and lame ass movies like it, to be reality is a moron. Love is how you and your partner define it. I am not even in my 40s and I have been married for 20 years. I am more turned on by my husband when he makes the bed occasionally without me nagging him than anything this Ryan Gosling did in that movie. Trust me, romance means not having to nag 20 times!

    January 5, 2011 at 5:36 pm | Report abuse |
  69. Harry

    Ahhh "The Notebook"... bane of men everywhere. I cannot understate how much I HATE THAT MOVIE!!!! lol...

    January 5, 2011 at 5:35 pm | Report abuse |
  70. Space Kravek

    I hope the dude got the ring back...

    January 5, 2011 at 5:34 pm | Report abuse |
  71. mandy

    Who asks for someone to build a house for them...so stupid. I'm glad they broke up...what a P O S girlfriend.

    January 5, 2011 at 5:34 pm | Report abuse |
  72. Farner

    What a set-up! There was no "right" answer to such a silly question. I had two children from my first marriage when I went and took the plunge again. My new wife asked me one day: "If me and one of your kids were standing in the street and a bus was about to hit us, and you could only save one of us, which would you save?" I kept trying to tell her it was an unfair question, but she wouldn't let go of it until I told here the truth–that I would save the kid. I tried to explain that adults are responsible for children. No luck. Marriage # 2, kaput! cie la vie!

    January 5, 2011 at 5:34 pm | Report abuse |
    • Jimbo

      Man, your wife is wacko for asking you that question...I feel sorry for you dude.

      January 5, 2011 at 5:37 pm | Report abuse |
  73. Alyssa

    That's F ing ridiculous. If you break up over a movie then you weren't in a good relationship to begin with.

    January 5, 2011 at 5:33 pm | Report abuse |
  74. Donna

    Wraith is right. I don't and have never expected that my husband would build me a house thats just ridiculous. Then if the guy lies and says yes, he'll be held to that for as long as he lives. He is better of because it sure does sound like an excuse – if she REALLY loved him she would never have asked him such a ridiculous question. Ladies its just a movie – not reality!

    January 5, 2011 at 5:31 pm | Report abuse |
  75. Jimbo

    Glad I date a real women who doesn't get brainwashed with all these false love stories. These movies are hurting society by giving gulable women false hopes. If you are a women and you think you deserve a fairy tale love story to be your real life, you are hopeless and will always be disapointed. If you are a man and you notice pathetic questions like this being asked don't bow down or lie, tell her like it is and you will be better off. Or else you are just setting yourself up to be miserable.

    January 5, 2011 at 5:27 pm | Report abuse |
    • IceT

      Jimbo, you speak the truth! I was married for 12 years to a woman who did what you're warning about. Even before we were married she tested me constantly..I should've seen the red flags! She cheated on me with a Dr. ($) 21 years her senior. She married a different guy and he told me I was an impossible act to follow ... she's now on her 3rd marriage and I am happilly remarried for 13 yrs now to a reasonable woman.

      January 5, 2011 at 5:41 pm | Report abuse |
  76. B=Dog

    'The Notebook' .... Better than Ambien.

    January 5, 2011 at 5:26 pm | Report abuse |
  77. IceT

    When my wife & I discuss which movie to watch, she always threatens me with The Notebook so I'll back down from my Scifi choice. It's an evil vile movie!

    January 5, 2011 at 5:26 pm | Report abuse |
  78. bostongye

    If a woman I loved needed a house built, then I'd build her one without wasting a seconds breath. I think its safe to say most any man would do that for his woman. Granted he was stupid for saying no, but why the hell do you need to ask such a pointless hypothetical question in the first place? Its 2011, How about I buy you one? And he should have turned around and asked her would she have stuck around and waited while he went away to war. Cuz many women are actually faced with that question today and say yes, but then backout of that commitment while their man is away. Movies like the Notebook show guys doing really romantic things and use quasi-spiritual, super romantic scenes (ie them dying simultaneously) which are exaggerated to highlight how much these two were in love... Every movie exaggerates themes to illustrate something. I hope that most women realize that these are exaggerations for entertainment purposes because in reality, we don't build homes by ourselves, we don't die at the same time, etc.

    January 5, 2011 at 5:26 pm | Report abuse |
    • Religious Sects

      THEY DIED!!! I've never made it to the end awake!

      January 5, 2011 at 5:29 pm | Report abuse |
    • Lala

      Amen. My younger brother is a marine and he's been in Afghanistan since July. His fiance dumped him in November because SHE couldn't handle the stress. Never wanted to slash someone's tires so badly in my life.

      January 5, 2011 at 5:42 pm | Report abuse |
    • bostongye

      I hear ya, Im a forme Marine and Iraq vet myself and I cant count how many guys get Dear John letters, and had all their money spent to boot (they usually stupidly make their GFs their next of kin so they have bank account access) So much for all the I Love Yous. But then again, a lot of wives and gfs stick to their man. Ive seen a beautiful wife of a guy who lost his legs wheel him around and still remain affectionate towards him. Now why cant they make a movie about something like that to demonstrate real, genuine love?

      January 5, 2011 at 5:49 pm | Report abuse |
    • Sade

      I waited faithfully and pregnant for my man to come home from the war.........he came back and left me.

      January 5, 2011 at 6:32 pm | Report abuse |
    • bostongye

      Yeah, that happens too unfortunately, and its just as wrong. I dont know how old you guys were, but to me, young servicemembers who know they are deployable shouldn't get involved in a relationship. That solves all of it. And if youre getting involved with someone whose in the military, take a headsup and recognize theyre a nomadic bunch generally not suited to commitment.

      January 5, 2011 at 6:45 pm | Report abuse |
  79. Lala

    More women need to recognize that men don't show their affection the same way we do. Too many women wait for some grand gesture: a moonlit dinner at the Eiffel Tower, a two page poem written on lavender scented cotton parchment and delivered by tamed doves, a house built with his two hands just for her. As a result they overlook all the real ways good men say "I love you" Changing the oil in your car. Putting together that 8 foot tall IKEA book case you just HAD to have. Cooking dinner. Freely suggesting that sappy RomCom on movie night. Paying out the ass for a dozen roses on your birthday that will be dead by the end of the week. These are al things you are more than capable of doing for yourself, and he darn well knows it. That's the point. He can't build you a house, the days of going out and killing a sabre tooth tiger with his bare hands are over. Most (good) women earn their own living so these seemingly mundane gestures are ways of showing that he WANTS to be the protector and provider even though the traditional methods of showing it are unavailable to him. Honey, if the man in your life does all this of his own free will, with no prodding from you, KEEP HIM. And for god's sake leave him alone when SportsCenter is on. That's one little way you can show YOU care. It is a two-way street after all. And if he's willing to sit down with you and watch "The Notebook" he's a damn saint. I can't bloody stand that movie (or Nicholas Sparks in general) and I'm female.

    January 5, 2011 at 5:24 pm | Report abuse |
  80. Derek

    Sometimes I wish I was gay so that I wouldn't have to put up with this kind of BS from women. This story is extreme, and yet all too familiar at the same time...

    I wonder if the women in this thread like Mei would have to say if it was the man asking the woman if she'd do (insert ludicrous hypothetical here) for him, and then breaking up with her when she says no?

    January 5, 2011 at 5:20 pm | Report abuse |
  81. Dos Equis

    She's just not that into you Brotha... πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

    January 5, 2011 at 5:20 pm | Report abuse |
  82. Marie

    If you watched the movie. It was his dream first to have the house. She just happened to be part of it. And for all of the hateful non-romatics. It does happen. My husband built our house for us and yes he asked me to go out with him in 8th grade and kept asking until my senior year. It's just a movie. It was just a story. Nobody is talking about the ending. You go throw life with your true love and in the end she doesn't remember you. That's Real!! That happens!!

    January 5, 2011 at 5:13 pm | Report abuse |
    • bostongye

      It does happen, yes, and of course every once in a while we're supposed to do super puppy love things to show her we care, etc. But if you and your husband have been together since high school (congrats btw), I don't know how old you are but I gotta tell you thats the exception not the norm nowadays. And building a house in certain parts of the country, typically more urbanized areas, is next to impossible (unless youre a contractor) simply for beaucratic and legal reasons alone! And there are so many women are just as anti-romantic nowadays too! Where I live it seems like every other woman in her 20s or even 30s is cold and aloof unless you make 200k a year.

      January 5, 2011 at 5:44 pm | Report abuse |
  83. hanna

    Most of the comments on here are ridiculous. People either have no idea what they're talking about or they're just talking out of their asses.
    This question wasn't a trap. This woman was just crazy and needed a reason to end her relationship with this guy.I'm glad I'm not like most girls. I would never ask a stupid question like this or freak out at the answer I got.
    I have to many friends who are like this woman and it drives me insane that they behave this way.

    January 5, 2011 at 5:13 pm | Report abuse |
    • attention


      You are a breath of fresh air. Wish there were more women like you. Glad you are on the planet!

      -A man

      January 5, 2011 at 5:32 pm | Report abuse |
    • Linkspast

      I'm a 31 year old female and I would build a house for my girl, if I could. Anything for her. That's just me.

      January 5, 2011 at 5:59 pm | Report abuse |
  84. Attention Please

    REMINDER: American Women are for "Sport" dating, never marry one....

    January 5, 2011 at 5:11 pm | Report abuse |
  85. Been Around A Long Time..

    That was a trap and I don't care if anyone disagrees but 99% of the ladies do NOT want to hear the truth. They want to hear an answer that will sustain their fantasy. Guys, if you haven't figured this out then you need to quit dating. If a girl asks "Do these jeans make my butt look fat?" Truthfully answer "No, they don't!" while thinking "No, it's not the JEANS that makes your butt look fat....it's all that sitting on the couch!"

    And if your girlfriend/wife asks you "What would you do if I died?" Either fake a heart attack or answer "I would just whither away!" that is the ONLY answer that is safe...

    January 5, 2011 at 5:11 pm | Report abuse |
    • gremlin

      Actually, if you find yourself in either of those situations, you're probably in a relationship full of trouble to begin with.

      January 5, 2011 at 6:20 pm | Report abuse |
  86. Mi Mi

    Uhm...THIS is what happens when you let HOLLYWOOD dictate your relationship..obviously..they did Not need to be married..Period. & we wonder why divorce rates are high.

    January 5, 2011 at 5:07 pm | Report abuse |
  87. Hernan

    This is so stupid, seriously. No wonder why there are so many divorces in the US. They think they have to follow a manual on how to behave in a relationship. Why why why is soooo hard for americans to be just YOURSELF!!!

    January 5, 2011 at 5:05 pm | Report abuse |
  88. Perri

    That was a flirting question. She did not expect a rational answer. She thought he would say he would build her a house of dreams. When a girl asks if her rump looks fat in jeans, he is supposed to say she looks adorable, etc.

    January 5, 2011 at 4:58 pm | Report abuse |
  89. gt0568b

    The interesting thing here is that even the WOMEN can't agree with each other. There are 2 camps: The first are women that say "It's ok to tell a little lie to us sometimes" or "It's just fantasy question. Tell us what we want to hear", etc. The second camp are the women that agree with the men, where these "trap" questions are perceived as immature and insecure. I prefer the second kind of woman personally.

    January 5, 2011 at 4:57 pm | Report abuse |
  90. Robert W.

    Go google "5 love languages quiz" based on a book by gary Chapman. I'm not selling anything. I just found this to be important to anyone who wants to have a long term relationship. It sounds like the one who broke up with him because she wanted him to build a house for her understands the language of service.

    January 5, 2011 at 4:56 pm | Report abuse |
  91. I call BS

    Way to stay relevant dude!! Sounds made up to me.

    January 5, 2011 at 4:54 pm | Report abuse |
  92. scottydog

    Watched one of these movies with my g/f once. Drove home and by the time we parked she was completely sobbing. I was perplexed to say the least as she had been fine the whole evening. At first she wouldn't tell me what was wrong, but finally I got it out of her. Dead serious, she says: "We're not as cute(relationship wise) as the couple in the movie". Just about broke it off with her that night. Just like Gosling said about his friends, she had all of these unrealistic expectations in our relationship. There was a constant comparison with other friends/family's relationships. I was happy and just wanted her to accept "us" for who we were. That simple.

    January 5, 2011 at 4:52 pm | Report abuse |
  93. JoeT

    So friggin' obvious that the correct answer was, "yes, I will build you ahouse, but your have to help me a bit."
    And yes, I do remember making trips buying pads and other feminine products midnight at Walmart after my wife delivered each of my kids.

    January 5, 2011 at 4:52 pm | Report abuse |
  94. NoDoubt

    Men are cheap nowadays. And they honestly think they're good in bed if we don't complain. hah. I have no need for a man's money or his sloppy bedroom skills. Just would like someone who isn't selfish and appreciates other people.

    January 5, 2011 at 4:51 pm | Report abuse |
    • scottydog

      "Men are cheap nowadays" – Give up that baggage as soon as possible. If that is truly how you feel, you will see that in any guy you meet until you can truly become objective with each new person. I say this, not to be mean or sound superior, I've just been there and it was the wrong way to go.

      January 5, 2011 at 4:58 pm | Report abuse |
    • Space Kravek

      And women these days are a commodity with their plastic surgery and shallow ways.

      January 5, 2011 at 5:39 pm | Report abuse |
  95. Dr. Pepper

    Sounds like that guy dodged a bullet with that girl. She obviously wanted to dump him anyway.

    January 5, 2011 at 4:48 pm | Report abuse |
  96. hotboy456

    its like that miller lite commercial, where she asked him "who would u rather save, me or ur mother?" of course, he says "you. bye mom!" and then he looks at his dog like "what is she talking about?" i dunno where women come up w/ these things or why they matter, but they do. its nuts...so when she askswould u build her a house, just say "sure i'd love to. but would u prefer it be built w/ the skills I dont have or the money i dont have??" see what her response is to that

    January 5, 2011 at 4:46 pm | Report abuse |
  97. test


    January 5, 2011 at 4:41 pm | Report abuse |
  98. JamBit

    Dude, your better off w/o her. If thats the (REAL) reason for breaking up with you then shes the one with the problem not you... Most women are atleast semi normal. Sounds like you picked wrong. SHE = FAIL....

    January 5, 2011 at 4:41 pm | Report abuse |
  99. Meh

    I never watched this movie. I have no desire to watch this movie. People are blaming the movie, but really, it's a subconscious thing. The woman believes she loves the man, but deep down, subconsciously, the woman does not love the man and it takes a long time to figure that out. Then they watch a romantic movie, and that subconscious thought starts to become a conscious thought and silly or serious questions are asked and couples break up. Sometimes for the better. It has nothing to do with fantasy or anything.

    January 5, 2011 at 4:38 pm | Report abuse |
  100. jay

    I used to be a romantic person when I was younger but my experiences with women over the years utterly destroyed that

    January 5, 2011 at 4:38 pm | Report abuse |
  101. April

    Surprised the author didn't mention it, but way back when, Jessica Simpson also cited The Notebook as her catalyst for leaving Nick Lachey.

    January 5, 2011 at 4:36 pm | Report abuse |
  102. guy68

    Here's how I see it. Mei, you should never "test" someone you say you love. If you plan to make a life together, life has enough tests as it is. Trust me. But here's how I would have answered the question if it was me, and not because I thought it was the answer she wanted to hear, but because it was the truth.

    Her: Would you build a house for me?
    Me: Well, no, but I don't know how.
    Her: But if you knew how?
    Me: No, I wouldn't build it for you, I'd build it for us.
    Her: Really?
    Me: Hell yeah, it would cost us a lot less. And guess what kid, you're gonna help.

    January 5, 2011 at 4:34 pm | Report abuse |
  103. Amy

    It's not just the notebook but the entire genre of romance- for most of us women there will be no "fight" for our love or great acts of romance trying to win our hearts. There might be some flowers and chocolate...and they never show the "after". If the romance movies that end with a wedding show real life they'd show the fights over stupid things (You didn't put the G. D. toilet seat down or Please can you put things in the hamper). Also it's this genre that leads people to beleive that people in love don't fight (huge lie) or don't purposefully hurt eachother (you know someone very well when you know what to do to bother them the most). Ladies it's time to watch romances and think of them as sci-fi somthing that would be nice but is not at all realistic. I don't expect my husband to go to great lengths to show me his love just like I don't expect a flying car to show up outside my house tomorrow.

    January 5, 2011 at 4:29 pm | Report abuse |
  104. automan

    Yeah, I would say....no honey I would not build you a house, but I could build you an igloo so you and your cold heart'ed self could be all cozy. If some chick dumps you over a movie, thank your luck stars ! The notebook was good but if the shoe fits, run don't walk....

    January 5, 2011 at 4:29 pm | Report abuse |
  105. joojoo

    I didn't even like that movie. How many women have guys treating them like princesses one after the other the way that chic did? Show me a guy that treats a gal like that. I haven't met any.

    January 5, 2011 at 4:28 pm | Report abuse |
  106. Jay

    her: "would you ever build a house for me?"
    me: "I would if I thought you'd clean it."

    January 5, 2011 at 4:26 pm | Report abuse |
  107. freetime1

    Them in a way he was helped out. Who would want to be with a women like that.

    January 5, 2011 at 4:25 pm | Report abuse |
  108. sleestak

    When my wife and I were dating, she once asked me "Honey, do these pants make my butt look fat?" I replied, "No, your fat butt makes your butt look fat." She started to get really mad, then she laughed and said, "I guess I kind of asked for that, didn't I?"

    We just celebrated our 14th wedding anniversary a week ago. She's never asked me a question like that again. I'm so happy I'm with a woman who knows I love her or I wouldn't be with her, and realizes she doesn't need to ask "fishing for compliments" questions of me.

    January 5, 2011 at 4:22 pm | Report abuse |
  109. Matt

    Seems to me from the above story that "The Notebook" is less of a "relationship killer" and more of a "crazy b**ch alarm".

    January 5, 2011 at 4:21 pm | Report abuse |
  110. deadline99

    Based on my experiences, here's how it goes:
    It not how well one gets along with someone else, or how much agreement exists between two individuals that determines success in a relationship. It's how well one handles disagreements with and accepts the incongruities of the other individual, that ultimately determines the strength of the relationship.

    January 5, 2011 at 4:16 pm | Report abuse |
  111. complicated

    Some people said that the movie is gay well it sounds gay not to be mean to all the people who love it its just betrayal is a b.....

    January 5, 2011 at 4:16 pm | Report abuse |
  112. jaydee

    Thats why I dont go to the movies with my dumb wife.

    January 5, 2011 at 4:16 pm | Report abuse |
  113. MarkinFL

    Some people play games, some don't. That relationship seriously needed to end. No compatibility.

    January 5, 2011 at 4:15 pm | Report abuse |
  114. blah9999

    Oh, and I despise this movie because it encourages cheating. And that if a woman cheats it's romantic as long as it's with her "true love." When in truth, it's never ok.

    January 5, 2011 at 4:15 pm | Report abuse |
  115. keepin it real

    I wouldn't build a house for the stank hoe either....
    seriously, if it's that easy, dude is better off without little miss princess.

    January 5, 2011 at 4:13 pm | Report abuse |
  116. missA31

    I dont understand how the Notebook could be damaging to relationships but all these movies about cheating and so on are not? people take things however they want regardless, and if you make a choice based on a movie your an idiot anyways.

    January 5, 2011 at 4:12 pm | Report abuse |
  117. C

    If people think their relationship is going to be like something out of a movie they're delusional and we likely never find someone to live up to their ridiculous standards.

    January 5, 2011 at 4:12 pm | Report abuse |
  118. blah9999

    Trust me when I say that girl is high maintenance. I know because I have one of those girlfriends. If he responded, "of course I would build you a house." she would say, "then why haven't you yet?." Or, "well, when are you going to get on that?"
    Womenz are crazy

    January 5, 2011 at 4:11 pm | Report abuse |
  119. RB

    Is this what we've degenerated into? Measuring the quality of our lives based upon some ridiculous crap from the pen of Nicolas Sparks? I think I'll just hang on tight to my own healthy sense of self-worth. If my wife thinks I don't love her, that's her problem.

    January 5, 2011 at 4:07 pm | Report abuse |
  120. Greg

    That's like girls wanting their men to look like Edward Cullen. Apparently looking sickly and cancer stricken is in with the ladies right now.

    January 5, 2011 at 4:06 pm | Report abuse |
  121. complicated

    See here is the thing love is complicated and even though i never seen the movie bieng in love make us do really crazy things but to be real this girl seems like she didnt like him at all~

    January 5, 2011 at 4:03 pm | Report abuse |
  122. Girl39

    It's true....alot of girls think there is a "Mr. Right". He will be your best friend, a wonderful father and husband.
    There are lucky ones out there like that. But I have learn to live with "Mr. Right Now". Once you get married, it's "GO" time. A house with a large mortgage, 2.5 kids and two demanding careers leads to "what the hell was I thinking?"
    Not that I would change a thing because I met my "Mr. Right" and it's 150% work on both halves to really make a marriage work. And you know,,,,,he would tell me he wouldn't build me a house either. So I bought one.

    January 5, 2011 at 4:01 pm | Report abuse |
  123. sheppard

    I have to say, that was one of the most stupid & pointless articles I've ever read. I'll never get those 30 seconds back.

    January 5, 2011 at 3:51 pm | Report abuse |
  124. Ryan

    I have yet to see a comment regarding the last paragraph in this article. Everybody focused sooooo hard on "The Notebook" that they missed a meaningful point!

    January 5, 2011 at 3:48 pm | Report abuse |
    • sheppard

      The last paragraph was just as stupid & pointless as the rest of it.

      January 5, 2011 at 3:55 pm | Report abuse |
  125. LMAO

    And you wonder why I am gay, lol...

    January 5, 2011 at 3:36 pm | Report abuse |
  126. rafael

    if someone asks 'are you a god?' , you say YES!

    January 5, 2011 at 3:30 pm | Report abuse |
  127. Saltydingo

    Women are a puzzle. There is often times what they want to hear, and what they actually mean. I went through this when I was younger and learning my lessons about women. Here's what I went through...

    I was with someone for almost a year, we exchanged the "I Love you". One night laying in bed, she found a dog hair and complained about it. She says," I love Patty(my dog), but I hate the shedding. Would you consider getting rid of her?" I said "No Way" I had Patty all her life(she was 6 years old) and she was a great dog. I'd consider it if she was mean, or bit, or barked all the time, or was a complete nuisance, but she was not. She was a big happy bundle of love. She Loved everyone. Then my girlfriend asked, "What if I said she goes or I go?" My mistake was I took this as a serious question. She just wanted to hear "Of course I Love you, and I would always choose you." I got very upset at the question and a fight ensued, she never wanted the dog to go, she just wanted to know she was #1 in my life.

    January 5, 2011 at 3:25 pm | Report abuse |
    • SheWoman

      Did you ever consider that maybe that particular female was just whacked?

      January 5, 2011 at 3:54 pm | Report abuse |
  128. Dog Named Boo

    Geeeeez people. You guys are hilarious. It was just a silly little question that needed a silly little answer and not a matter of fact, REALISTIC, logical answer. Hello? The Notebook was a ridiculous movie from start to finish. Granted the woman didn't need to get so worked up about it, but the guy could have fed into her 3 second fantasy any way. I realize some of you are thinking "what harm could it do?" While others are thinking "good thing he dumped the delusional b****." But really, it wasn't, nor should it have ever been that big of a deal. For both parties! And the fact that you guys are getting heated over such a question shows why their are so many nonsensical rifts between men and women and in relationships in general. -Happily Single

    January 5, 2011 at 3:18 pm | Report abuse |
  129. HR

    I really hate this movie and movies like it for the simple reason that they are completely unrealistic. You will never, ever have a man chase you at the airport, through the subway or over a bridge while you are waiting in traffic. You shouldn't have to "test" your relationship by asking such stupid questions. She knew before asking that question that things weren't working and he would most likely answer the way he did. Either the relationship works or it doesn't and you have to choose whether or not you want to continue trying. Men and women are both to blame and everyone is different. People need to realize that whoever you are with will not be perfect but you can be perfect for each other if you both are willing to work in the relationship and pick your battles. Don't hold grudges and enjoy simple things like holding hands and watching a movie. Don't expect your life to be like one of these movies because you will end up alone and miserable.

    January 5, 2011 at 3:14 pm | Report abuse |
  130. common sense

    Men: Lie, Cheat, Steal, are Selfish, and Manipulate Women.
    Women: Lie, Cheat, StealN are Selfish, and Manipulate Men.

    The difference? What's inside their pants...

    January 5, 2011 at 3:14 pm | Report abuse |
  131. vampireweekend

    this movie sucks. who cares

    January 5, 2011 at 3:11 pm | Report abuse |
  132. JOHN DOE


    January 5, 2011 at 2:45 pm | Report abuse |
  133. leavetheguntakethecanoli

    Michael Corleone demonstrated the correct way to deal with this situation in "The Godfather."
    After seeing "The Bells of St. Mary's," Kay asks Michael, "Would you like me better if I were a nun? Like in the story?"
    "No," says Michael.
    "What if I were Ingrid Bergman?" persists Kay.
    Michael responds, "Now THAT'S a thought."
    Seeing Kay's unhappy facial expression, Michael doesn't miss a beat. "NO! I would not like you better as Ingrid Bergman."

    January 5, 2011 at 2:40 pm | Report abuse |
  134. LKT

    I have told all my girls, if they want to know if the relationship is going to work, build something rather complicated together-such as putting together playground sets, trampolines, IKEA furniture. If you two can build it together without major hatred at the end of the day (meaning you are compatible with your work style), then you are good to go. Too bad I didn't do this myself with my husband.

    January 5, 2011 at 2:18 pm | Report abuse |
  135. whitehorse

    The problem with a lot of women is they "want" and don't know how to "give". Relationships are all about giving, not wanting and demanding, and especially petty things like washing a sponge or a parking space. Men are very simple, women are very petty. So who needs to change? Is it better to be more petty or more simple? When either person gets upset or calls off a relationship over petty things, that person needs to relax and focus on what's important. I've found women ask me questions or have expectations of things that will never come up in a relationship, and then base the relationship on fantasy, rather than reality. I agree with the person who says women want men to be honest but would rather they lie sometimes to make them happy, this makes no sense at all. One of the reasons women get really upset when men are untruthful, is women are more untruthful with men from the beginning of the relationship to the end – one of the biggest things is, women will hold a grudge or concern for weeks or months and damage the relationship instead of just being honest right away and avoiding weeks or months of building on with other things – when women do this, they are untruthful for weeks or months to boot.

    January 5, 2011 at 2:13 pm | Report abuse |
    • Kelly

      Not all women are petty and certainly not all men are simple. Quit generalizing an entire group of people because you have the knack for picking the most grossly insecure women to base us all on.

      I recently had to ask my husband to please turn lights off when he leaves a room. I didn't have to "nag". He respects me enough to remember and just simply turn them off when he leaves a room. Petty? He wears white shirts every day under his work shirts. I hate laundry and I hate folding a never ending supply of white shirts. He "magically" realized this all on his own and now he beats me to the dryer to fold his own annoying white shirts. I didn't have to "nag". You see where this is going?

      January 5, 2011 at 2:54 pm | Report abuse |
    • Marin

      Yeah – we see where it's going............. your husband is a pu$$y.... LOL

      January 5, 2011 at 3:59 pm | Report abuse |
    • jennifer

      Did anyone ever stop to think she left because if he had asked her the same question, she unconditionally would have said "yes." I would.

      The question was hypotetical (IF you had the skills).

      January 5, 2011 at 4:40 pm | Report abuse |
  136. hanna

    Well obviously this woman didn't really love the guy if it took just the fact that he wouldn't build her a house to call it quits. This woman is just stupid and needs to get her priorities straight. This guy is better off without her. People need to realize movies are just merely movies and should not be influenced by them, although unfortuantly people always are.

    January 5, 2011 at 2:10 pm | Report abuse |
  137. flower

    I asked my husband about a job that I was asked to interview for; If he'd move if I got it. He said no; we just had a baby so I turned down the opportunity of a lifetime and became a stay-@-home mom. Later, do to my husband's drug use and affair, we split. I am now trying to find a job in this horrible economy. My kids and I were happy at home and now are lives and finances are a mess w/ no help from Dad. I wish I would've posed that question before we married, not because the job was more important than my husband, but because not having to make a change foe me was more important to him than I was. Get that and you'll understand the wisdom of this woman and the correctness of her breakup.

    January 5, 2011 at 2:07 pm | Report abuse |
  138. maz

    Many of you are missing out on the point to this question including our actor's point. Maybe she was asking will you build me a home which is quit different than building a house. A home can be established any where with the right ingredients; love compromise passion strenght. Many of u really show immaturity if u haven't this out. I got this by the time I was 20 or so. Wake up losers. Duh!

    January 5, 2011 at 2:03 pm | Report abuse |
  139. Marie

    This girl was nuts. The movie was completely unrealistic and gives girls the idea that there is a perfect man who will fulfill all your wildest fantasies. As far as insane girl questions go... I once got the privilege of listening to my roommate in college ask her boyfriend if he would still love her if she stabbed him. I nearly fell off my bed at the insanity of the question and was then frightened by what she might do if he didn't answer the "right" way...

    January 5, 2011 at 1:57 pm | Report abuse |
  140. Salmander

    Lifetime movies rules of infidelity:

    Men cheat because they are jerks. Women cheat because thier husbands are jerks.

    January 5, 2011 at 1:46 pm | Report abuse |
  141. flygirl

    this was a mushy, fictionalized, yet beautifully made love story. the MOST poignant quote from the movie rings SO true in real life:

    "The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds."

    that is so true, i believe, even though it was said in a fictional romance story!

    when u can look at the one u love and that statement applies, ur w/the one u were meant to be with. MHO

    January 5, 2011 at 1:38 pm | Report abuse |
  142. kay

    "She said, 'But if you knew how?' He said, 'No, I wouldn't. But it doesn't mean I don't love you.' She said, 'Yeah, it does.' And she called it off."
    Amazing. If he knows how to build a house he wouldn't do it for her? He OBVIOUSLY didn't love her so she was smart to move on.
    I know how to cut hair so I cut my husband's hair. If I didn't, it would be pure selfishness and would show that I just don't care since he wants me to do it.
    I can't believe so many people think she was in the wrong.....

    January 5, 2011 at 1:36 pm | Report abuse |
    • Tina

      I think that's a pretty easy one, actually. Haircut = a half hour and $10 for scissors. House = a year of work and well over $100,000. Anyone who asks their boyfriend to "build me a house" is living in Cuckoo-McCrazypants land.

      January 5, 2011 at 4:14 pm | Report abuse |
    • Lisa

      exactly. when you love something, you do what is in your power for them. it's not about stupid limitations like how much a haircut costs or the time it takes.

      and frankly, here it was free. all he had to do was say the words.

      January 5, 2011 at 4:37 pm | Report abuse |
    • Jeremy

      And here's a perfect example of someone who just wants a guy who will say the right things to her.

      January 5, 2011 at 6:36 pm | Report abuse |
  143. Loopman

    This is the same type of BS situation that women put men in when they ask them a question that they already know the answer to. And don't you ladies deny that you do this cause you all know you do. It's a test to see if the man gives you the right answer or tells you what they think you want to hear. A hgih percentage of women complain that their man isn't honest with them but they act shocked when their man is up front and brutally honest. My thoughts.... If you don't want to hear the answer, good or bad, don't ask the question. This is an age old Catch22 for all men. You would think that we would wise up to it but we keep sticking our heads into the lions mouth just one more time!!!!!! You know that's the definition of insanity; doing the same thing the same way over and over expecting a different outcome. Albert Einstien couldn't have hit the nail more directly on the head with that one.

    January 5, 2011 at 1:32 pm | Report abuse |
  144. Becca

    News flash people-it's a movie! A piece of fiction! In other words–somebody made it up! If you're basing what your relationship should be on a movie you are immature and totally out of touch with reality. I've been married over 10 years and I have never asked my husband something like, "Would you build me a house?" If I was a guy and discovered my girlfriend was deciding how much I loved her by what happened in some stupid movie, a TV show or a commercial I would run the other way as fast as I could. The woman described in this article needs a reality check.

    January 5, 2011 at 12:58 pm | Report abuse |
  145. Bid

    I loved the Notebook. Was a great love story in a movie. But It was just that...a movie....entertainment. I don't get how people take these movies, video games, song lyrics, etc to heart and act upon them. Has society become that stupid?

    January 5, 2011 at 12:55 pm | Report abuse |
  146. Warm Fire

    In the movie, he didn't restore the house for her. He restored the house for himself. He hadn't seen or heard from her in years. His work on the house was a personal project that had emotional significance for him and, at that point, him alone. He had time on his hands, know-how, opportunity, and he could put the house on the market to make good money from the sale. He never had any expectation that his restoring the house would bring her back to him.

    Sounds like the guy who was silly enough to actually say, "No, I wouldn't build you a house," had no game whatsoever. His fiance didn't expect him to build her a house. She wanted him to be intuitive enough to say, "Sure, I would because I love you." That's all it would have taken, and he missed it. Sounds like they just weren't compatible.

    January 5, 2011 at 12:43 pm | Report abuse |
  147. bes

    Okay...doesn't he kill her in the end? Just saying......who's fantasy is this anyhow?

    January 5, 2011 at 12:36 pm | Report abuse |
  148. David in Corpus

    Look, chicks (most hot chicks) were raised in an atmosphere that taught them that they are special and sought after commodities. They were also taught that true love is exciting and secure (two things that don't work well with each other). I used to suck with women. Then I learned how to be a thug (not a real one, a fake one, thehehe) then I romance them (for s/e/x of course, not love) and give them what they really want, really good s e x and the feeling that the hot dangerous man gave all that up for me and only me (makes a girl feel extra special). Then when I dump her I let her know it is because she actually isn't that special. I a.) get to have had a really good time with a chick that is totally out of my league (at least by my old way of thinking, I still think I am a geek I just don't look or act like one anymore) plus I get to teach her a lesson about the BS that goes with her americanized romanticized version of what a relationship would be. Plenty of my ex's (used goods by the way) are now happily married to nice, safe, boring, secure guys that luv them completely . I like to think I helped them see past their silliness and grow as females into the women they are today. Good mothers who love their average everyday husbands and completely full of hate for me for making them grow up and realize their dreams were stupid and unobtainable. Remember ladies if the guy is really good at whooing you and giving you the ticklies down under it is because (like in any career) well versed and practiced at what he does by doing it alot. Hint hint: he knows how to hook up with chicks and lie to them. These are the guys to avoid unless all your interested in is really hot s e x.

    January 5, 2011 at 12:26 pm | Report abuse |
    • gateway

      Well, your ex's maybe were hot, but they were definitely not smart. πŸ™‚

      January 5, 2011 at 2:29 pm | Report abuse |
    • AustinBaby

      Well, Karma is going to bite you in the ass one day. You will find a girl/woman you actually really love and she will do the same thing to you. The world doesn't need "players" like you spreading your STD's and making women feel like crap. But you don't care as long as you get some. Enjoy the herpes.

      January 5, 2011 at 4:47 pm | Report abuse |
    • Johnathon

      kudos to you. I found that that dynamic works WONDERS for women, no matter how intelligent they are- in the end, they're all wired to feel the same way

      and as for the girl's comment that your ex's are stupid? Lol one of the girls I played recently was educated in an ivy league school. again, education aside, all women tick the same; following emotional flights of fancy.

      hooray ! πŸ™‚

      January 5, 2011 at 5:30 pm | Report abuse |
    • Rollo Tomasi

      Too funny.....

      January 5, 2011 at 5:45 pm | Report abuse |
    • gremlin

      Apparently Johnathan hasn't gone to college much or he would know that even ivy league schools have idiots in them. I won't even bother trying to argue with someone who obviously has never actually bothered to get to know any women if he thinks they are all wired the same way. I would guess that he is ignoring the 50 that were smart enough not to give him the time of day before he found the one that was willing to lower her standards that night because she was bored.

      January 5, 2011 at 6:34 pm | Report abuse |
    • Maverick2591b

      Hey, I know this person...it's Frank O. Pinion from St. Lo--–

      January 6, 2011 at 8:08 am | Report abuse |
  149. Happy

    Ebb and flow happens with marriage regardless of issues, and your true love is always there for you, through it all, just like the marriage vows state, in good times and in bad. Tough it out. Work it out. And when your husband or wife asks you for the moon, build a stairway to get them there. My husband loves me and I love him and we have happy and rocky roads in our marriage that always lead us back home. Be happy, period.

    January 5, 2011 at 12:26 pm | Report abuse |
    • LessIsMore


      I am a man and I just want to say: Thank you for your wise and well chosen words. I literally fall to my knees and thank God for women like you. In my humble opinion, I think women are the pinnacle of all Earthly creations. But please, will the wise ones kindly educate your sisters so we can enjoy more harmony!? In return I promise to stand up and speak out to any guy I encounter being a total jack@ss to a woman. Can't we all just get along in the "real" world?

      January 5, 2011 at 1:41 pm | Report abuse |
    • VMV

      @LessIsMore Call me!

      January 5, 2011 at 5:37 pm | Report abuse |
  150. The Truth

    In the age of equality men should be able to ask just as annoying stupid hypothetical questions to women and get to dump them based soley on the answer. "Will you build me a house?" "Why yes I would, would you build me a man cave tunneled out from an actual cave?" Sounds stupid, yep. Relationships are based on real actions and chemistry. If you need your significant other to jump through hoops to prove their love for you (especially with hypothetical questions), A your narcissitic, B you don't deserve him/her.

    January 5, 2011 at 12:25 pm | Report abuse |
    • KKKKKatie

      True! I used to think this is something that young girls and women do, ask ridiculous questions but I'm always amazed at how often someone my age (40...I know, how did that happen?) plays stupid games with a great guy. Then they wonder why they are still single. πŸ™‚

      January 5, 2011 at 12:32 pm | Report abuse |
  151. Enri

    Hypothetically..if the zombie apocalypse happened and we were forced to live in the middle of nowhere I would build her a house. So if my wife ever asked me that question I'd reply yes.

    January 5, 2011 at 12:21 pm | Report abuse |
  152. Bob

    And if he said. Would you build a house for me? She would say. "So your telling me Im fat!!!!?"
    They guy was screwed no matter what.

    January 5, 2011 at 12:14 pm | Report abuse |
  153. Jason

    Dudes, those people probably don't exist. This is a publicity story.

    January 5, 2011 at 12:13 pm | Report abuse |
  154. CAP

    Rosalinda – where didn't you go to school? You should learn how to spell before you post anything. Here's an idea. Write your comments in Word, use spell check and then post. As far as the movie goes. Anyone who bases a life’s decision on a movie should go and see a psychologist.

    January 5, 2011 at 12:12 pm | Report abuse |
    • Ummm

      You berate someone over their spelling and grammar and then go on to use a sentence fragment? πŸ˜›

      January 5, 2011 at 4:58 pm | Report abuse |
    • Who am I to Judge?

      Yes Mr./Ms. BossyBoots.

      January 5, 2011 at 5:52 pm | Report abuse |
  155. No-Nonsense

    I'm happy for that couple. They called it quits before anyone else could see there unhappiness, and think its okay to stay in a relationship that isn't going anywhere. I hate to see a couple who doesn't like/love each other, so disappointing. I even ask my boyfriend "fantasy questions" but he Knows to answer safely. Mainly because he doesn't want to argue, and he knows I need that security from him.

    January 5, 2011 at 12:04 pm | Report abuse |
  156. Gary

    The smart answer would have been.. "No, I wouldn't build you a house. I'd build you a palace fit for the princess that I see you are."

    But then he would have been stuck with her in the long run. So maybe his answer was the correct one.

    January 5, 2011 at 12:02 pm | Report abuse |
    • Molten

      The correct answer would have been, "Yes, if you clean it from floor to roof and wall to wall every day for the rest of your life."

      January 5, 2011 at 12:13 pm | Report abuse |
  157. S

    It wasn't the movie, she already had second thoughts, the movie was the excuse. Both are better off. Good job dissing women and men though...

    January 5, 2011 at 11:52 am | Report abuse |
  158. Boka, Philly, PA

    That woman is too high maintainance. She was going to dump the guy anyway. She is a loser. That's what I would say.

    January 5, 2011 at 11:48 am | Report abuse |
  159. Enri

    If people are so easily influenced by hollywood films.. they should make a Jesus movie starring Johnny Depp... in 3D.

    January 5, 2011 at 11:40 am | Report abuse |
  160. Sophie

    It's beyond me why this is considered by many to be such a romantic movie. I thought it was lame ... and I am a died in the wool romantic.

    However, to the commentor who said men tend to think LOGICALLY ... keep deluding yourself. Men are just as irrational as women.

    January 5, 2011 at 11:38 am | Report abuse |
    • babydog

      That was not a comment to indicate that I think men always think logically, but it is factual that our different male/female DNA affects how our brain processes information. I am not delusional....I do know that men sometimes to think irrationally, just as sometimes we as women let ourselves be led soley by logic. Most of the time though, this is not the case.

      January 5, 2011 at 11:56 am | Report abuse |
    • Tara

      Oh, and just as a sidenote...I am a Woman.

      January 5, 2011 at 11:58 am | Report abuse |
    • Konrad

      Sophie, there are a more than a few problems with what you said.

      First, how people can like or see it one way or another it is simple. People like all sorts of things that other people hate.

      Second, reason and irrational are not logic. You can be logical and not have reason, therefore be logical and irrational. The opposite of logical is illogical, bit irrational. So you did not even use the right terms.

      Third, Babydog said, "Men tend to... ...Women tend to..." which is an examination of trends and perfectly correct according to the books on Male and Female brains by Dr. Louann Brizendine. And because Dr. Brizendine quoted a few hundred studies about the way men and women work, (as well as did her own) I will take her word just a weee bit more than yours.

      As for the article, if the quotes are accurate, both people are a bit in the wrong. She asked, he answered. OK, fine. Then she clarified and pushed a creative question onto a guy who may or may not be that good at creative answers. It sounds like she did not understand him very well. However, he also completely ignored the clarification of, "if you could..." and blows her off with a no before trying to save with something about how he still loves her. So he knew the no was not a good answer and rather than say, "If it was what I did and we could afford it? Sure." Not very creative, but not a killer "no."

      Oh, and my answer to my girlfriend was, "As for building a house, nope. Because it would not be the house you want because you have all these ideas in your head. But I'll help you get the house you want built." She ans I have discussed what she wants in a house, a car, and a space trip. Yes, we have actually discussed the possibility of a space trip. Why? Because these are all important issues to one or both of us, so we get them out there and talk about them. That is how I knew what answer to give to this question and why she replied that I had a, "Nice answer."

      January 5, 2011 at 6:19 pm | Report abuse |
    • Kyle

      (adj) logical (capable of or reflecting the capability for correct and valid reasoning)

      January 7, 2011 at 1:15 am | Report abuse |
  161. Enri

    A carpenter/vampire/pirate would probably get laid alot.

    January 5, 2011 at 11:31 am | Report abuse |
  162. Thaumaturgist

    This is one of those odd times I'd rather people read the book before the movie. I understand its the emotional thing the women need. Maybe the guys response was honest, nothing wrong with that. But if they both read and understood the book. It's more about the efforts and patience. True love builds over time. We live in times were we want instant gratification. I'm sure there is much more to the breakup than we know. Her mistake if based off that one line for the breakup is the idea of a perfect romance not practicing the art of it. It takes two to make it work. Read the book please people it was so much better and you feel the love more. I must add the story only got better when reading " The Wedding" think it adds a nice touch to finish " The Notebook"

    January 5, 2011 at 11:29 am | Report abuse |
  163. Babydog

    The Notebook is an amazing movie that cannot be blamed for ruining healthy relationships. That is absolutely absurd! Men tend to think LOGICALLY whereas Women tend to let their emotions lead them...sometimes way too much. If she wasn't mature enough to see the difference, and realize it was a silly question to begin with, then she most likely was not ready for marriage at all. People need to stop blaming these types of movies for their problems and just enjoy them for what they are...an escape from reality. Just watch, enjoy, and stop putting pressure on your partner to meet these impossible expectations. No, your Boyfriend/Husband will most likely never build you a home like that, leave his Vampire world behind to become mortal for you, or battle Pirate ghosts on a cursed ship to save you, but give him a chance. Some of the most romantic things in the world would not be headline, but sometimes coming home after a hard day to find the dishes done and the kids bathed can mean the world to you.

    January 5, 2011 at 11:24 am | Report abuse |
    • Babydog

      was supposed to say "headline-worthy" at the bottom.

      January 5, 2011 at 11:30 am | Report abuse |
    • Miba


      January 5, 2011 at 4:52 pm | Report abuse |
    • Mark

      If there is one thing I've learned after years in the dating world, it's that womens' emotional sense of whether something is right or wrong changes very rapidly, regardless of how powerful the emotions are when they happen

      January 5, 2011 at 5:26 pm | Report abuse |
  164. BIHT

    If anybody ever uses "If you really loved me" and means it, leave. As far as this movie breaking up a relationship, it sounds like they weren't right to begin with and for some reason this brought things to life. So is this really bad for relationships or good?

    January 5, 2011 at 11:20 am | Report abuse |
  165. Enri

    And really.. can James Marsden keep his woman in a movie? The dude gets screwed over in every film.

    January 5, 2011 at 11:13 am | Report abuse |
  166. tamera

    WOW!! true nothing last forever. however, where could i find a man who would stick with me through the disese like she had. not know who your own love is or your children. & for him to set each day & relive their past by reading to her. sign me up. there are great men (& women) out there you just need to look.

    January 5, 2011 at 11:11 am | Report abuse |
    • LessIsMore

      ...for better or worse.

      That's the agreement. It's all about commitment and how much one values their own word. It's time to bring honor back into vogue.

      January 5, 2011 at 1:16 pm | Report abuse |
  167. Mike

    I want all you silly women out there to imagine this. I'm engaged to a great woman, but I decide to go visit my hometown, I see a girl I used to date in high school, I take her home and we hook up. Then I leave my fiancee for her. I would the biggest jerk in the world according to you. But because its a female with her "one true love" it makes you all hot and bothered and you do what women always do and "rationalize". Yeah, it's a "fantasy" as some of you idiots say, but it's really just cheating/infidelity.

    January 5, 2011 at 11:10 am | Report abuse |
    • jess

      I agree, it is sick! I can not figure out how women can watch and believe that crap! And I am a woman!!!

      January 5, 2011 at 11:21 am | Report abuse |
    • jake

      Yes I have been saying that for years. finally some one with a brain.

      January 5, 2011 at 11:24 am | Report abuse |
    • Misty

      I've been ostracized by other females for hating this movie. I've even given the scenario you mentioned as food for thought. Stupid movie that is wrong on so many levels.

      January 5, 2011 at 11:54 am | Report abuse |
    • LessIsMore

      I think I just fell in love! I hate that crap too. And I am a man.

      January 5, 2011 at 1:11 pm | Report abuse |
    • Tina

      I'm a girl, and I just want to say hip-hip hurrah for you! The idea of cheating being okay for "true love" is just lame. Plus this movie was godawful. I don't see how anyone can sit through it.

      January 5, 2011 at 4:10 pm | Report abuse |
    • Eva

      Oh stop it guys!! Why must one settle if their true love is out there??? Men and women! Jerk or not! Follow your heart and stop being people pleasers!! Do what YOU want to do!!!

      January 5, 2011 at 6:02 pm | Report abuse |
    • Conner


      Have fun being single and lonely at age 60... Yeah, go ahead and take your advice and do only what YOU want... See what that gets you...

      January 5, 2011 at 6:25 pm | Report abuse |
  168. Enri

    If someone can't distinguish reality from fantasy its not hollywoods fault, your just f--d as a human being. On the other hand there's nothing wrong with raising your standards and wanting your partner to be a tad romantic. Bottomline..dude has no game.

    January 5, 2011 at 11:07 am | Report abuse |
    • Micky

      No game? He was planning on marrying her. If you are still playing mind and word games when your engaged, you reaaaaallly shouldn't be engaged.

      January 5, 2011 at 5:22 pm | Report abuse |
  169. Ann

    Is the same old – if the grass is greener on the other side- only people miss the second part –
    Water your own grass.

    January 5, 2011 at 11:00 am | Report abuse |
    • KC

      This is my ex's problem: when he's with a woman who has time to coddle him, he wants one with money to buy him things, and when he's with a woman who has a job and can afford to spoil him, he wants one who has time to spend 24/7 doing things for him. He liked that I earned good money, but didn't like that I had to leave him alone for 10+ hours a day to do it.

      January 5, 2011 at 11:07 am | Report abuse |
    • Denizen Kate

      Good one, Ann.

      KC - that wasn't a relationship, it was a rescue mission. Been there, done that, don't do it anymore.

      January 5, 2011 at 4:23 pm | Report abuse |
  170. crystalburger

    i loved the movie...my bf and i just recently watched it together for the 1st time and he enjoyed it...movies don't make people break up. people just grow apart and fall out of love...this will happen with or w/out a movie!

    January 5, 2011 at 10:51 am | Report abuse |
    • happily married

      Love isn't a feeling. You don't fall out of it; you walk away from it. That's the part Hollywood and most Americans don't get.

      January 5, 2011 at 4:56 pm | Report abuse |
  171. Mike Mazzla

    Most guys who are married already know this.... but other than money issues which always come up.. Women tend to get annoyed by really silly things such as loading the dishwasher wrong, cleaning, etc etc. Im not saying this as a chauvinist or anything but it is what it is. Ive been married for 20 years and the fights we have had over such insignificant things is pretty hilarious.. now a woman may say will if it bothers her it isnt significant,,,but really.. loading the dishwasher wrong? lol

    January 5, 2011 at 10:49 am | Report abuse |
    • Les

      Apparently you have not met my father. He is the one always saying things aren't done right. He's the one that demands the dishes be hand washed before being loaded into the dishwasher. Try living with him!

      January 5, 2011 at 11:36 am | Report abuse |
    • Mimsey

      It's called displaced anger.

      January 5, 2011 at 12:57 pm | Report abuse |
    • Denizen Kate

      It does seem silly, doesn't it? I guess I was brought up different. My mother always said "If you don't like the way I do it, do it yourself." Words to live by.

      January 5, 2011 at 4:20 pm | Report abuse |
    • Dani23

      Yeah, its amazing how much time and effort women spend on getting worried about such mundane things. It really puzzles me as a guy. Unbelievable, as if 10 years from now anyone will care. But now, they make a whole thunderstorm inside of cup of water for the smallest and most insignificant things.

      January 5, 2011 at 5:20 pm | Report abuse |
  172. B

    Hey, at least he was honest with his answer.

    January 5, 2011 at 10:49 am | Report abuse |
    • C172

      Exactly!!! Whatever happened to just telling the truth. Yes sometimes the truth hurts. More often than not the truth is more painful but it's like a bandaid-just take it off quickly. I have been with the same girl for 6 years and she knows that if she asks me a question she is going to get the truth, like it or not.

      The guy in the story is way better off. Sounds like she was looking for an excuse to leave.

      January 5, 2011 at 12:47 pm | Report abuse |
  173. HotMzNaNa

    Wow what a pathetic excuse to break off an entire engagement! I think this guy should blame his ex's self centeredness, not The Notebook! Lmbo

    January 5, 2011 at 10:47 am | Report abuse |
  174. besalel

    All Hollywood movies are hazardous to relationships. Ever notice how in every hollywood movie the girl leaves the guy she's with in order to fall for her "true soulmate." All couples have problems but hollywood trains us to think that our true happiness lies elsewhere. That's dangerous. Love the one you're with.

    January 5, 2011 at 10:45 am | Report abuse |
  175. Rosalinda


    January 5, 2011 at 10:37 am | Report abuse |
  176. mimi

    lol spaceship...haha

    January 5, 2011 at 10:13 am | Report abuse |
  177. mbane

    What a joke. it's a movie, nothing more. She was selfish and self centered and just didn't want to stay with the guy. Simple as that. What was she willing to do for him? It works both ways. it's not about me and what you can do for me. That is the main problem with relationships. People never think of the other person. It me me me and more me. If anything I blame the media for giving girls these notions about relationships. Hopefully she found herself a construction worker who can build her a house.

    January 5, 2011 at 10:12 am | Report abuse |
    • Mei

      wow, reading the comments I think a lot of guys here don't know women very well. Women tend to ask "fantasy" questions. The house question was not a self-centered quest but more likely a test to see if the guy really loved her. Nowadays, men expect s..x and no commitment so women try to figure out which ones are truly serious and want to commit to a relationship. She was better off leaving the guy. He obviously wasn't Mr. Right if he can't say something as easy as "sure I'd build a house for you... I love you." It was a fantasy question, men.

      January 5, 2011 at 10:54 am | Report abuse |
    • KC

      Amen. My ex was all about what I'd do for him and never did anything for me in return. If I gave him $100 to pay his Visa, then he wanted $1000 to buy a stereo, and then "if you really loved me, you'd give me $10,000 to buy a car." And these were not hypothetical questions, they were very real demands. But heaven help me if I asked him to wash the dishes; that was asking for too much.

      January 5, 2011 at 11:03 am | Report abuse |
    • Molten

      So women want to "test" men with fantasy questions to see if they love them? Pretty pathetic. I'm glad I'm gay.

      January 5, 2011 at 12:11 pm | Report abuse |
    • pinky

      @Mei – that's nuts. What kind of woman does that? It's incredibly immature and insecure. If you're not sure the person you're with loves you, why not just tell the dude you love him and see what he says. If you have to doubt whether he loves you, move on. Life is too short to spend it with liars and neurotics.

      January 5, 2011 at 12:30 pm | Report abuse |
    • Eric

      Mei..I know it might be a really boring way of phrasing the question to women but why not actually have a mature conversation and ask what you want to know? "Hon, do you love me?" And if the guy answers yes and has given you ample evidence in his actions to support his answer, why not be content with that and not ask him for verbal reassurance or to pass test questions to live up to a writers construct of the perfect mate every five minutes?

      January 5, 2011 at 3:23 pm | Report abuse |
    • Denizen Kate

      Stop picking on Mei, it isn't her fault. She's just been fed that same old fairy tale the rest of us have, that Prince Charming will sweep us off our feet and carry us to his castle, where we'll live happily every after. If you want women to be more realistic, stop force-feeding your daughters that same old tired bs.

      January 5, 2011 at 4:14 pm | Report abuse |
    • Lydia

      Sad that you have so little faith in each other and relationships. That question is like asking "would you go to the end of the earth for me"? It's not literal. That's why she said "IF you knew how." I have no doubt my husband would say yes, and I would too. she dumped him because the ultimate person she wanted to be with would have no limits to what she would do for someone they loved. She was right. Get out while you can. Marry the one who will always put you first, as you should always put him first.

      January 5, 2011 at 4:27 pm | Report abuse |
    • FLP

      I think Lydia is the only person here who actually understood the question. The man obviously didn't have the level of lover for her that she wanted, so she broke it off. That was a good thing to do before marrying someone. It was best for both of them. Anyone who can't understand something that simple is too immature to be in a real relationship.

      January 7, 2011 at 7:30 pm | Report abuse |
  178. Robert

    I had a girlfriend call off a relationship once because she said I wouldn't go into the store and buy her feminine products like the guy in a TV show we watched.

    If you're not compatible you're just not compatible. This guy needs to realize he's probably better off. First she wants a house, next after the "The Notebook 2" the girl has a car built for her...then a space ship...

    January 5, 2011 at 10:05 am | Report abuse |
    • LEB

      Dude, I have never asked my husband to buy feminine products for me. NEH-VER! Why would a woman even do that? It's uncomfortable enough to have to buy them for yourself, so I just can't imagine sending your beloved male partner to do it.

      January 5, 2011 at 2:23 pm | Report abuse |
    • Me

      How old are you..whats uncomfortable about buying feminine products? Grow up!

      January 5, 2011 at 2:55 pm | Report abuse |
    • Adam

      I really do not see what the big deal is about buying feminine products. I buy them all the time for my wife. Come on! Its not like there for me!

      January 5, 2011 at 3:11 pm | Report abuse |
    • speekers

      Dude, my husband has offered repeatedly to buy and/or bring me feminine products. I guess growing up with older sisters will do that to do. But, if a guy is phased by "that time of the month" maybe he shouldn't be dating women.

      January 5, 2011 at 3:59 pm | Report abuse |
    • MarkinFL

      Seriously? People consider that an issue?

      January 5, 2011 at 4:11 pm | Report abuse |
    • Crazy

      Who still has a problem with this? Everyone does it. Its like buying toilet paper its gotta be done. And as far as a guy going to get them. a) Everyone knows its not for him! b) everyone has sympathy for him cause hes stuck at home w/a girl w/PMS and c)its like advertising you have a girlfriend.

      January 5, 2011 at 4:12 pm | Report abuse |
    • T3chsupport

      My husband buys them for me sometimes (if he's going to the store and I'm not), but y'know... we're adults and can handle that sort of thing.

      January 5, 2011 at 4:32 pm | Report abuse |
    • Greatest Ever

      Tampons are fun. I like to head on into work a little early, dip a few in some kool aid... and toss them on the desks of people i cant stand. Its glorious!!!

      January 5, 2011 at 5:31 pm | Report abuse |
    • Wow

      All this back-and-forth over... buying tampons? Wow. People. You've got to have something better to do with your time. Come to think of it... so do I.

      January 5, 2011 at 7:00 pm | Report abuse |
    • ak2190

      Seriously? My bf is the most un-romantic-movieish guy ever (and I love him) but even he has no problem buying me feminine products if I can't go. Everyone knws he's not using them. And theres nothing to be ashamed about. All women get a period, its necessary in order to reproduce. So, be a man and deal with it.

      January 6, 2011 at 2:49 pm | Report abuse |
  179. honja

    that's why guys need to lie a little bit sometimes.

    January 5, 2011 at 9:40 am | Report abuse |
  180. wraith729

    Dude, she wanted to dump you for a while she just didn't know how to do it. The Notebook just gave her an out. And if that's really the reason then you're better off because it sounded like she was high maintenance.

    January 5, 2011 at 9:17 am | Report abuse |
    • Reality Check

      Mr. Right?! Speaking of fantasy, you must live in a well constructed one. Either that or you watch WAY too many Kate Hudson movies.

      January 5, 2011 at 11:14 am | Report abuse |
    • theamazingwhitebread

      Wraith and Mei show the real difference between men and women – Wraith is dealing with reality, Mei is dealing with meaningless hypotheticals.

      And "Mr. Right?" You have been watching too many movies. Good lord, I feel sorry for any guy who falls into the dark, hopeless pit of dating you. With your unrealistic notions of "love" and "romance," he won't have a chance.

      January 5, 2011 at 11:20 am | Report abuse |
    • Beth

      I'm not saying the girl was right to ask her fiance to build her a house, but he's a total moron for not knowing a trap when he sees it. My guess is that he's also the guy that answers yes when she asks if her butt looks big in a certain pair of pleated pants and tells her that no, he would not still love her if she got really fat.

      January 5, 2011 at 11:32 am | Report abuse |
    • llewdor

      That's stupid. He should have lied to her and said, "Yes, I'd build a house for you."? That's crazy. That just creates unreasonable expectations. If you ask a question of someone who loves you and iz comfortable around you, expect a truthful answer. I'd have said no. And if she left over that, I'd be pretty pleased that I'd found out she was crazy.

      January 5, 2011 at 12:05 pm | Report abuse |
    • pinky

      Wraith is 100% correct. And I'm a woman. They're better off without each other.

      January 5, 2011 at 12:24 pm | Report abuse |
    • LaLa

      The correct way to answer her question would have been to turn it back on her- would SHE build a house for HIM ? Presuming she's also not in the construction trade, her answer should be what she expects from him – if it was possible, yes. Otherwise, it's just a test she's set up for him to fail.

      January 5, 2011 at 12:26 pm | Report abuse |
    • WhateverMan

      From reading these posts...Its obvious: women WANT men who lie...then they complain about not being able to find a man who's truthful

      January 5, 2011 at 1:37 pm | Report abuse |
    • LEB

      I agree, she probably was looking for an excuse. If a movie ends a relationship, then it's one that probably SHOULD end.

      January 5, 2011 at 2:20 pm | Report abuse |
    • IMO

      He's better off not dating a psycho who lives in a fantasy world. You want a house built, date a contractor.

      If you have to question what's there, it's not there. So, grow a pair and just break up with the dude instead of setting him up for failure. Now he's going to have false impression of what love means based on that bought of sloppy relationship management.

      January 5, 2011 at 3:24 pm | Report abuse |
    • BruceNY

      I was going to say something like that too: you know, maybe you don't want to be with a girl like that in the first place.
      "will you build me a house?", "It depends: will you fix me a sandwich, let me have total control over the finances, stop voting or even voicing your opinion and let me get drunk everynight while you raise my kids for the rest of our lives? Didn't think so...".

      January 5, 2011 at 4:32 pm | Report abuse |
    • chris

      hahahaha well put brotha!

      January 5, 2011 at 5:05 pm | Report abuse |
    • karry deel

      Its just a movie... c'mon, look at the time era this movie was in – the 1930's – 40's – relationships, meeting people and the concept of love were a different mindset than what it is today. Back them when people met & got married, it was for a lifetime, not for 10 years of less. I think its crazy to ask someone to build a house for love, nowadays... very unrealistic – plus.. very expensive. Great movie though!

      January 5, 2011 at 5:32 pm | Report abuse |
    • k.deel

      Its just a movie... c'mon, look at the time era this movie was in – the 1930's – 40's – relationships, meeting people and the concept of love were a different mindset than what it is today. Back them when people met & got married, it was for a lifetime, not for 10 years of less. I think its crazy to ask someone to build a house for love, nowadays... very unrealistic – plus.. very expensive. Great movie though!

      January 5, 2011 at 5:34 pm | Report abuse |
    • Bumpy

      I agree that Mei's living in a fantasy world. That's what these romantic movies do to women. The guy was being *honest*. Honesty is one of those things a relationship needs to create a strong foundation, and something women pretend that they want from us. You'd rather he lied? "Sure, baby, I'd build you a house!" The next guy she latches onto will probably BS her just the way she thinks she wants. And she'll be divorced in 5 years with 2 kids.

      January 5, 2011 at 6:16 pm | Report abuse |
    • Egotripen

      This chick was just looking for an out! That was just an excuse! I say move on and do not look back to this dude!

      January 5, 2011 at 6:23 pm | Report abuse |
    • ReggieG

      To Mei: So it's just enough for a woman like you to hear an empty promise...my wife prefers when a man backs up his promise, in this case it's not even a promise...just saying "yeah, I would" knowing it has no real commitment. In America, too much weight (IMHO) sometimes given to words and then too many disappointments happen thereafter

      January 5, 2011 at 6:35 pm | Report abuse |
    • Nick G

      Sounds to me like she just wanted a house...

      January 5, 2011 at 7:14 pm | Report abuse |
    • Kim

      Well said!

      January 5, 2011 at 7:16 pm | Report abuse |
    • 1:00AM

      Wraith is correct. Me? I would have started planning how to dump HER for asking such a self-absorbed, childish, selfish self serving trick question that no normal human being could answer truthfully just to feed her pathetic little ego. That's just me though.

      January 5, 2011 at 7:20 pm | Report abuse |
    • AlixNYC

      Its obvious you guys didn't watch the notebook. When they were dating she told him of her dream house. He goes off to war and is presumed dead. He comes back with no way of contacting her and he builds the house hoping one day he will find her and they could live the life they once dreamed of together. The house is a metaphor for him holding on to hope.
      I asked my husband when we were dating the same would you have built the house for me question. I would not have left him if he said no but he was smart enough to understand (since he saw the movie) what I meant and even smarter to know there was only one right answer to the question.

      January 5, 2011 at 7:21 pm | Report abuse |
    • Mack

      Wait a minute. Some of the women here are saying this guy is an idiot for answering honestly? But aren't women always complaining that men are dishonest? So which do you want? An honest man or a liar? You want us to be honest but only when asked if you look fat? But we're idiots if we're honest 100% of the time? I don't know about other men, but I want to be honest and logical 100% of the time unless I'm making an obvious joke.

      If you're fat, I will tell you if you ask. I won't make fun of you or belittle you but I will tell it how it is. If that makes me a bad boyfriend, then so be it. I don't mind if you do the same for me. Go live in your fantasy world. No wonder Twilight is so popular with women. Fantasy garbage even if there were no vampires and werewolves in the story.

      January 5, 2011 at 7:55 pm | Report abuse |
    • BLOOP

      I'm a woman....

      Now if I were as ridiculous and taken by dementia as the woman of this article and asked my fiance if he would build me a house to see if he loved me....

      I would expect my fiance to, in turn, ask me a ridiculous question in relation to his fantasy to see if I loved him... "Would you bj me while I built it?...."

      If he would actually willingly build me a house, because he loved me, I still wouldn't bj him for three months straight 8 hours a day while he did.... =)

      relationships are give and take. If you are QUESTIONING the realness or the deepness of your significant other's love for you, specially at the point of engagement.... WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

      p.s. I wouldn't think he DIDN'T love me if he said HECK NO.

      @wraith... AGREED!


      January 5, 2011 at 8:23 pm | Report abuse |
    • PooBucket

      Probably should've just dropped a load right on her head..

      January 5, 2011 at 10:51 pm | Report abuse |
    • annette

      I was thinking the same.

      January 5, 2011 at 10:59 pm | Report abuse |
    • Sarazar

      AlixNYC – "Its obvious you guys didn't watch the notebook. When they were dating she told him of her dream house. He goes off to war and is presumed dead" Ummm....actually it's obvious you didn't see the movie, because he doesn't go off to war and he isn't presumed dead. Her parents split them up and then her mom throws away all the letters that he writes her.

      January 11, 2011 at 4:53 pm | Report abuse |

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