August 12th, 2010
03:39 PM ET
Halle Berry: Finding a mate is a hard thing to do
If you’ve seen “The September Issue,” you know that month is serious business in the magazine industry.
So when Vogue – the publication chronicled in “September Issue” – asked Halle Berry to be on the cover, there was no way she could say no, even though she’d sworn off speaking up in interviews.
“I was burned-out with having other people tell the story about me that they wanted to tell,” Berry, 43, told the magazine. “I told my publicist, ‘I’m not going to talk anymore. I’m just going to live my life and be who I am.’”
But then, Vogue called. “What that means for a woman of color and what that means in the fashion world, what that means to pop culture, there was no way I could say, ‘No I’m not going to be on the biggest issue of the year,’” Berry explained of landing the cover story.
But along with the high-fashion photo shoot came the opportunity to set the record straight on her split from her boyfriend for close to five years – and father of her 2-year-old daughter Nahla – Gabriel Aubry.
“It’s just that you realize you are not meant to go the distance with everybody,” Berry said. “We were meant to bring this amazing little person into the world. And I think that’s why we came together. And because of that, we are going to be together, forever, all three of us. We are a family until we are not here anymore.”
She and Aubry are still friends, Berry said, and although it wasn’t a “love connection” for the two of them, she has no doubt he was the right man to have a baby with. And when it comes to finding love, Berry said she’s no different from the rest of us. (No, really.)
“I don’t think I’m unlike a lot of people. I am just someone who is trying to find that mate, and I think it’s a really hard thing to do,” Berry said. “I am not willing to stay somewhere where I am not really happy. And I am not willing to pretend I am for the kid’s sake or so that I don’t have to go through another public humiliation.”
In the end, the actress said, she’s starting to accept that she may not be the type of person who wants to settle down.
“It’s about accepting who we really are, not who we want to be. As much as I have always wanted to be in this committed relationship and have the picket fence and grow old with the same person, I’m coming to terms with: Maybe that’s just not who I am,” Berry added.
She’s also the type of person who’s not afraid to take a risk, which lead to her taking a role in 2004’s “Catwoman.”
“The moment I won the Oscar, I felt the teardown the very next day,” Berry said of her historic Best Actress win in 2001 for “Monster’s Ball.” “I thought, ‘If I’m going down, I’m going down taking chances and daring to risk.’ Hence…'Catwoman.’”
In the beginning, she had high hopes, but Berry readily admits that the story “just wasn’t good enough.”
“But I will tell you one thing that has helped me deal with the failure of that,” Berry told Vogue. “Critics bashed it, but people come up to me now and either they say, ‘I loved you in the movie B.A.P.S.’ which is a comedy that I did, or they say, ‘I don’t care what anybody says, I liked 'Catwoman.’ Nobody ever says, ‘I really loved 'Monster’s Ball.'’”
The September issue of Vogue hits newsstands August 24.
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goes to show you beauty can only carry a relationship so far............
Well that can be hard.
Many times we have our ups and downs. Some people think that if we are up then everything is alright, if we are down, everything can be fixed... that´s not true.
Halle thought that she was happy, got a baby... but the relation didn´t work. (even that it was a public split...) So they go on different paths. That´s Life.
And why are people thinking that Halle has a bad temper? She can be shy or something worse but if someone understands here, she can be happy with that one... until now she didn´t found it. If she can´t find that one, she can be a "cougar" without remosse since she tryed (the same goes with jennifer anniston). And she can be happy alone no problem with that.
Halle' ex-husbands couldn't keep her. They became jealous, unfaithful, emotionally abusive and let their insecurities consume them. If Halle had a crystal ball chances are she would avoided some wasted heartache. So what if Halle is high maintence, men are high maintenance too. With a US divorce rate at 50% no one should be judging Halle by the men she didn't need to keep. She said Aubry was the right man to father her child and I have yet to hear Aubry say that Halle forced him to enter a relationship and have a baby he didn't want.
i love the dress on her...i personally have seen it at Escada and its gorgeous...love...love...love
that woman is so insecure and full of sh^T...
Once you've begged Billy Bob Thorton to "make me feel good" on screen, I can understand why you are having such a difficult time.
When is that knucklehead O'Reilly going to chime in about her being an unwed mother?
Being "mixed" myself, I have found it hard to find a "life partner". I have dated white and black, but do not feel that I fit in with either. I cannot "pass". I think it's hard work even if the interracial thing wasn't a factor. We as a society would like to think that things like ethnicity don't matter, they do. Eventually it comes up. Money nor Beauty can change that. The most we can hope for is to find someone to love us for who we are and what we can bring to the relationship. I wish her the best.
No offense, but it sounds very insecure to me for you to say you can't find a life partner because you are mixed. Why does race have to really be an issue? And why blame the fact that you are mixed as the reason behind you not finding somdbody? It just sounds like a cop out excuse rather than actually looking deep into yourself and finding out what maybe you need to change about yourself before you decide to get into a relationship. Ethnicity does matter, yes, but is it really healthy to live life always making such a big deal about it and using that as the excuse to say "that's why i can't fin a man, because i'm mixed"?
I don't know where you live but it is quite the opposite. Most men are attracted to mixed women the MOST. Speaking as a guy, I find them extremely attractive because they usually have the best of both worlds, whatever those worlds are.
So what makes people think that just because she's a talented beautiful actress, that she's supposed to be happy in a relationship. Maybe she needs to find herself? there are a lot of ordinary women that are just like her. They don't want to be in a loveless relationship or just be with someone for the sake of the kids either, so why should she be any different. So the rest of the women, and you know who you are, are you really happy in your relationship? are you just setteling, don't want to be alone?
So she's single.... Aniston is single.... who would you rather hook up with??? Are they approaching cougar territory? lol j/k... kinda.... but I'd still holla.
Sometimes it amazes me how some of the most gorgeous looking people tend to find it the most difficult to find or keep a partner. Goes to show that beauty really isn't everything. From my experience, many beautiful people i know tend to be the most emotional, very high maintenance, extremely needy, and EXTREMELY picky, all that is a formula for basically never finding a boyfriend/husband. Just speaking from my experience, and obviously Halle is probably no different, she's another self-centered, egotistical, high maintenance pretty girl who just doesn't have a clue.
At Checi.....Julia Roberts is still married after 8 yrs. and 3 babies. Do your research!!
And I am torn in two about Halle Berry....she may be needy, annoying, etc. in a relationship. But that's just a guess....how will I or anyone for that matter really know what she's like behind closed doors? Maybe she drives them away....????
And the other half thinks what I have thought for many years....there are A LOT more pretty, successful,funny, sensitive and worthwhile women out there than men. The statistics prove that men are FAR more likely to find a suitable mate in this world than the average woman. Their selection is just far greater and more vast. Trust me...I'm 36 yrs old and I know what I know and see what I see. She shouldn't have to settle, no one really should, but eventually you realize that the choices we women are give are NO CHOICE AT ALL!!!!
It's too bad Halle says no one ever walked up to her and said they really loved Monster's Ball. Well, Halle: I loved it. I thought you played the character brilliantly, and you deserved the accolades that went with it. Liked it well enough to buy the DVD. As to not finding the right mate, well...I think most of us struggle with that, either openly or secretly. It's tough when they might be right for you-but you're not right for them, and vice versa. A pretty good line out of the old M*A*S*H series: We look for a custom fit in an off-the-rack world.
Halle Berry, Julia Roberts, Christie Brinkley...all beautiful women that are called 'America's sweethearts' but find it impossible to stay married. It could be that maybe they're impossible to live with. Egotistical, so high maintenance that no one could ever live up to their standards. It must be impossible to deal with being told how beautiful you are all the time.
Many relationships just do not work out - what does anyone say about Liz Taylor or a Larry King being married 6-7 times ?? Halle ,i am sure has all intentions to be in a healthly loving relationship with a man,but if something goes wrong it is best to end it.She seems like a dedicated good mother, a professional woman –we wish her well.
Donna, you did not just say Halle "just wanted a mixed baby that's all", did you? Halle's mother is white as can be, you ditz! Whatever baby she had with whoever she had it with, was going to be mixed. Do any of you people keep up, or do you just start typing away on your keyboards without thinking at all? Aaaggghhhhh!
she just wanted a mixed baby that's all i find her to be so shallow,and i see alot of prettier black woman in everyday life,n if i hear her talk about her struggles in school because she is of mixed race one more time get over ur self look in the mirror u look way more black than white n for that matter noone is pure race we are all mixed of some other race it's call slavery pick up a book n read history,bottom line is she wanted a white man baby ,she needs to get over herself
Wow Donna you are stupid. No black women are NOT mixed, dont kid yourself. She has a WHITE MOTHER okay? What part of that do you NOT get? If you have some white in you from generations ago does NOT make you mixed. You are an idiot.
If it wasn't a love connection, why did she waste her time and have a child with someone she sorta liked. Halle needs to stop. She should have just adopted a kid or got a sperm donor. She's so ridiculous! How could you say that (in print and now all over the web) about your child's father?? One day Nahla is going to read her stupid comments....
Seems to me Gabriel's better off without this crazy chick...
Halledstated in an earlier interview that he did not pull his part financially, although this is his child. She does not have to be made a fool of and pretend to be happy just to satisfy fans who will wonder why she has not found success in relationships. Hallee, you go girl. Do not settle even if it means being alone.
I don't understand why people think they should be happy ALL the time! If we were happy ALL the time then we really wouldn't know the difference. One thing is for sure, having money is HUGE just imagine how unhappy she would be if she had to worry about how to pay the electric bill, or buy groceries, that really strains a relationship. When you have children you shouldn't be selfish and whine that things aren't always great. That's the problem with these people they think that it doesn't affect the kids, but it does it will affect them in their relationships when they get older.
I'd be on that like a 'duck on a junebug', but unfortunately, economic differences are what keep *good* women from finding men who act like men. If the wealthy chicks were a lil' wiser, they'd realize that guys who try to always 'do what's right' (i.e. NEVER lie, cheat, steal, be a hypocrit, etc.), but still maintain a joie de vive, just aren't likely to get to the same financial status that they have – hard to get wealthy in this country w/o doing wrong sometimes. If she's serious about finding the 'right one', she should look for a 'corn bred' guy near a college town... one of us 'educated rednecks' 😉
jaye – I would submit that you called it like it really is........
Well B.A.P.S was really good, I dont care want anyone says either. My daughter and I could watch that a million times
Looks are no guarantee of happiness. We only know her public life; she could be a needy, nagging shrew in private. She's said on numerous occasions that kids teased her in school, that she has self esteem issues even as an adult and had contemplated suicide only a few years ago. She has gotten involved with more than one man that beat her. After her last public humiliation at the hands of a man, she stayed single for a while and started talking about having a kid. I think it is for that reason that she hooked up with Gabriel; he might have thought otherwise, but GF was really to breed. My guess is she got what she wanted and didn't put much effort in the relationship after that, but it was Gabriel that called it a wrap. She wasn't publicly humiliated by him, but it says something about HER that she can't keep a man. Some people are like that; they have a series of bad relationships and at the end of the day they blame a good guy for the sins of the other men in their lives. Maybe she needs to stay single, since she has what she wanted ( someone to give her unconditional love), she's in no hurry to get into the risk of a relationship.
I'm all for her staying single and waiting until she finds me to do the boom-khuck-a-luck-a with.
Halle just have to put god first and pray about her next mate it's something you really don't look for. it has to come from the man up above. i've been married for over 20 yrs and we have ups and downs. i am not leavin him for a second. the more i love him and show him what i'm about the more he wants to stay...lol just let god bless u and the someone will walk in your life and stay.....even with the kids....chow.
The word is CIAO hah, though it doesn't surprise me that a person who puts a mythical being in a place of importance in their life is that ignorant. Chow? Seriously?
OMG ! Ive seen it all now ! LOL !
Rick, way to be a pr1ck.
It's nice to know we have people like Rick who like to nitpick other people's comments for no particular reason.
It's hard to believe that this beautiful and talented woman can't settle down with the right man. Like they say, beauty is only skin deep. However, no need to settle if you're not happy and fulfilled. It's good to be alone and happy than to be yoked up with someone and unhappy. Life is tooo short. May I introduce you to Jesus.
....and his friends Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy!!
I meant "mate", not maid. Sorry.
Hey, Halle, I didn't think you were so selfish like this. Actually you just wanted to maid him, and used his handsome genes to create a baby. Way to go, girl...
the rich get richer as the poor get poorer. obre los ojos.
With fronds like these, who needs anemones?
If she finds it hard to find a mate, imagine how difficult it must be for those of us not blessed with her beauty, and the resources to maintain that beauty. I like Halle Berry, but I can't feel very sorry for her. Hey, Halle, want to trade places?
The "resources to maintain that beauty"? You mean like healthy nutritious food and daily exercise?
how many resources do you actually need? Celebrities spend a lot of money to stay beautiful because they can, for us normal folk, it's called Walmart/Target, go down the makeup aisle, you'll find stuff that costs $1-$5. Don't have to spend over $1,000 on lipstick to be beautiful, plus, there's exercise and eating healthy, something that a lot of people don't actually do and that is as much about maintaining one's beauty.
Joan and Z – Yeah, because healthy food is so affordable and EVERYBODY has the time and money to work with their personal trainer for a couple hours a day. You can't possibly believe that its not 1000 times easier for the rich to stay "beautiful." One of the hardest parts of these simple things you mention is the fact that REAL LIFE gets in the way. For many, it's a choice of save money or eat healthy. Go to my kids soccer game or go to the gym. If we could all afford to have a nanny watch the kids while we exercise with the personal trainer, eat delicious, healthy food cooked by a personal chef (or even be able to have the time and money to cook that same stuff ourselves) and makeovers on a routine basis, no one would have to worry about any of this and we WOULD all be alike. But, alas, us poor folk have to choose. It's not as simple as you try to make it sound and you know it.
@ICStupidPeople- While you say it isn't as easy, I say it isn't as hard as YOU are making it out to be. Nobody said being healthy and beautiful was easy, but your rant basically says that you are lazy and bitter towards people who can afford more than you can. All that me and joan said is that exercise and eating healthy are some of the best and only resources you need to be healthy and beautiful, for us common folk that is. I find your "name" kind of ironic considering that you sound sort of stupid yourself to make such a fuss over a simple solution to being healthy and beautiful (it beats being bitter and difficult about life, like you are doing). To each their own, if being unnecessarily angry and argumentative makes you feel better.
@DenizenKate: Wow you are a dummy. There are alot of attractive people like her out there. She is not God's gift to men or anything. Besides, looks mean NOTHING in a relationship. If she can't find a man, there is obviously something wrong with her personality. She is probably psycho or needy or something. There are millions of happily married couples that come in all shapes and sizes. Looks are a teeny part of a healthy relationship.
Berry, I thought u wouldve been married and run off in the sunset along time ago.