August 11th, 2010
03:47 PM ET
This week’s episode of “The Colony" started off with everyone complaining about how dirty they were. This was immediately overshadowed by the fact that Jim, who apparently had regressed to age 4, stated that they needed to get rid of all the “doo-doo” in the port-a-potty.
Still reeling from the shock that a grown man would say "doo-doo" on TV, viewers had to watch as the colonists poured out all the contents of their port-a-potty. Thankfully, television treats fecal matter the same way it treats boobs, and it was blurred out.
Sustenance is still an issue for the colonists, especially since they made one week of food last for two. They’ve lost a lot of weight and are feeling hungry all the time, and viewers are even given a run-down of how much weight each colonist has lost, ranging from two to almost twenty pounds.
George’s place on the show was finally made apparent when he came up with a brilliant idea to make a forge. He wanted to bring the colony from “the Stone Age to the Iron Age.” Not to be one-upped, Reno decided he was going to build a smokehouse on the off-chance they stumbled across some extra meat.
Going along with the industrial trend, Deville figured the group would appreciate a way to clean themselves, so he began working on a makeshift shower.
Things seemed to be running smoothly for the colonists, but you can’t have a reality show without a little drama – and this time that came in the form of two strangers.
Michael, an anatomy instructor, and Amber, a logger, weren’t introduced as actors sent to terrorize, and appear to be two additional “survivors,” just like the colonists.
The original group of seven made the decision to allow Michael and Amber to stay in one of the abandoned houses since the pair weren’t hostile or aggressive.
Michael and Amber seemed to have been given minimum resources, and they decided to keep these hidden from the original colonists. Neither group knows if they can trust the other, so they were both being extremely cautious.
But when Michael and Amber go scavenging through what the original group sees as theirs, Reno and Jim decided they need to have a little chat with the newcomers.
After a heated discussion, the newbies agreed to go into quarantine, and we’ve learned that Jim is socially inept. (He told someone to go “get his knife” when the strangers started arguing with him. Yikes. We should have known he lacked social graces back when he said “doo-doo.”)
Yet when Amber and Michael were released from quarantine, everyone agreed to let them live in the abandoned house, and try to just stay out of each other’s business. Then, when one of the colonists tried their hand at fishing, they saw a tinker boat paddling down the creek.
Everyone was super excited to see what wares they could trade, and when they saw the boatman had food, a generator and welding rod, the colonists knew what they wanted.
Michael and Amber solidified the deal by throwing in their vodka, and the group, including the newcomers, realized they’re better off pooling their resources and working together. It looks like “The Colony” has added two new, permanent cast members as part of their experiment.
The reformed group feasted on fish that night, but was torn as to what to do with the leftovers. Will Reno’s smokehouse work?
Nope, it didn't, which meant the colonists were left with an abundance of fish but no way to store it. Sally suggested leaving it out for everyone to eat as the day goes by, but Amber, the new addition, wants to try and preserve it in a makeshift root cellar.
An expert announced that root cellars are generally 10 to 15 ft. deep. Amber’s cellar was two at most. So of course, the fish went bad (which pissed off Sally), and Amber didn't seem to understand that it was her fault. The good news was that George’s forge actually worked! Yay! He IS good for something!
George made a machete in his forge, which left me hoping I could have some of these guys around during the real apocalypse.
The episode ended with a glimpse of day 14. Some of the colonists had gone out scavenging, further than they ever had before, and when they encountered a warehouse full of useful items they are chased away by some menacing men. Men with cattle prods.
So who are they? We’ll have to tune in next week to find out, of course.
What’d you think of last night’s “The Colony?”
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