May 17th, 2010
04:24 PM ET

Will Smith on marriage: There has to be a vision

Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith are the type of people who can bring about equal amounts of awe and disbelief as they maintain their careers and their marriage while raising kids all in the same spotlight.

Part of the answer to their success is their marriage-business plan, Will explained to Oprah Winfrey on Monday's show.

“If you don’t have a goal, if you don’t have a purpose for your relationship, you can get lost in the murk of the journey,” the actor said. "There has to be a vision. Why are we together? An answer for why two spirits would join together and travel this perilous journey of life together. 'You’re fine, you can cook, you can keep the house together' - that’s not enough. There’s so much more you have to be dedicated to."

And once the couple started having kids, Jada added, those goals morphed to include that of Trey, 17 (Will's son from a previous marriage), Jaden, 11, and Willow, 9. “Once we started to see how the children were growing… we decided that we wanted to make a family business, [asking], how do we incorporate all the talent we have in this family.”

One way to do that is to help your child star in the remake of a popular 80s movie, kind of like how Jaden Smith will do in this summer’s “Karate Kid.”

The movie also stars Jackie Chan as the martial arts master who takes Jaden’s character under his wing and teaches him how to defend himself from the kids who bully him at school.

The young actor’s family was with him while he filmed abroad in China, and Jada and Will pulled double-duty as both producers of the movie and parents of the lead actor, encouraging him to continue past a knee injury and helping him learn his lines.

But apparently, when it came to Jaden’s on-screen kiss, there wasn’t much he needed to be taught.

“I did have my first on-screen kiss,” he acknowledged on "Oprah," quickly adding, “I’m good at kissing, so….It wasn’t as challenging as it could’ve been had I not had previous experience.”

The couple dedicates much of their energy to helping their children realize their own visions, but that doesn't mean they're neglecting one another. Jada has gotten creative about keeping her relationship with Will nice and toasty.

“You have to keep it spontaneous,” the “Hawthorne” actress said. For example, "during the day I might send a sexy picture of some sort. Just a reminder of what’s waiting for him at home," she said. Or, "If he’s on the set with me, on the set of ‘Hawthorne’, he might take a little ‘break.’ ”

Filed under: Celebrities • movies • television

soundoff (24 Responses)
  1. Deb

    Anyone else think it's a little weird for an 11-year-old boy to say he's good at kissing becasue he has past experience of it??? He's eleven, for goodness sake. Maybe if they were less concentrated on gettin freaky they would supervise their kids more.

    October 21, 2010 at 2:01 am | Report abuse |
  2. DIANE

    ..enough hearing what a perfect family they are, no one needs to hear it..they should be more private with their emotions....

    August 6, 2010 at 1:42 pm | Report abuse |
  3. CES21

    I been a huge Will Smith fan for a long time and hes a role model i have followed from music to televison to movies him and jada have done a great job like many other important couple figures they too show they have what it takes to keep a long relationship and marriage going...ppl do all this bashing but forget about the old school ways ...some times you have to go back to where you came from to get where you are going!

    June 12, 2010 at 2:54 pm | Report abuse |
  4. Taylor

    Everyone needs to stop pointing fingers and downing this family.. why not instead look at yourself and your own problems?? This is a beautiful family. One that a lot of people respect and look up to.. Maybe some of you making negative comments should do the same..

    May 19, 2010 at 5:30 pm | Report abuse |
  5. catina wiggins

    i am always happy to see will and jade smith doing great special with today black men standing behing their woman.u will not find that to many men will do like mr.will smith or etc. do

    May 18, 2010 at 11:42 pm | Report abuse |
  6. Dexter

    My hat goes off to this beautiful family. They are smart and obviously business savvy. How fantastic to find in life, that which works for you and your benefit. I wish them many more happy years.

    May 18, 2010 at 11:51 am | Report abuse |
  7. Moto

    I believe this is a model marriage that people should emulate and move away from the believe that there's nothing good in marriage, it's very simple, as you lay your bed, so you'll lie on it. I recommend you guys for best couple and family of the year

    May 18, 2010 at 11:46 am | Report abuse |
  8. Treva

    i adore this family. they support each other and are always positive

    May 18, 2010 at 11:14 am | Report abuse |
  9. Tina Person

    I think people have a right to express what makes their marriage work. Whether you believe or not is your business. If you take something from his comments and use them in your marriage it's your business. Marriage takes two to function and work. It takes commitment, love, trust, understanding, and faith base. I think they have that and then some. Would I base my marriage on what he has – maybe not, but I'm open for suggestions and help comes in various ways. Don't knock them down because you don't understand their happiness, be happy for anyone who experiances the best that life offers. I'm happy because their happy – you should too!

    May 18, 2010 at 11:00 am | Report abuse |
  10. citizenUSA

    The Smith's have been an admired Hollywood family for years because they have a strong family unit. Anyone who has a problem hearing about successful marriages has a problem. Maybe hearing their story can help someone else's marriage. It's not necessarily following their steps because the same things may not work for everybody but the message that there has to be more than just the day to day routine is what seems to be the important part. Sure, The Smith's and other celeberty couples likely don't have to worry much about cooking, cleaning and many other tedious daily tasks so it's a little easier to be more cohesive. They work hard at their profession, (which loving what you're doing helps the mariage), and at their marriage like many other Americans.

    May 18, 2010 at 10:49 am | Report abuse |
  11. Jo

    I really like will smith, but if I hear him give one more piece of marriage advice, I'm going to hurl. We;ve been hearing this for years. We get it, and personally we were hearing the same thing from Susan Sarrandon and Tim Robbins, and were Hearing it from Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell. I certainly wish these two luck, but I'd be carefull what you air.

    May 18, 2010 at 9:16 am | Report abuse |
  12. kimmy

    We all know that marriages have many issues, this couple appears to have found a way to work things out, between themselves and their children. Why be so negative, they've been married over ten years and I dont recall hearing about any sideline mistresses or boy toys for either; and if there are some they're smart enough to be discrete. They are very believable, this is the Cosby family of our time, this type of family unit can exist! Youtube an 2002 viedo of them called 1000 kisses, genuine love there.

    May 18, 2010 at 8:24 am | Report abuse |
  13. nusa

    Watched them on Oprah. Don't buy it!. They put on a pretty good show!! Anyone who has had a family, know there are numerous challenges to a marriage and raising children. They let on they have all the answers that lead to success and harmony. These people give a self importance, saintly persona. Pretty fake.

    May 18, 2010 at 7:41 am | Report abuse |
  14. MikeyV

    Do open marriages / relationships lead to bliss? Help us find out.

    May 18, 2010 at 4:11 am | Report abuse |
  15. angealrnold

    Whatever makes THIER marriage work may not work for everyone....who cares???? At least he is not openly cheating on her, beating her, doing drugs, secretly cheating on her with a tatoo artist, getting beaten by his wife by a golf club....he LOVES Jada and it shows. If having an open relationship works for them....all of the nay sayers need to back relationships dont work for everyone. Let them do them!! Just be happy that they have lasted this long

    May 18, 2010 at 1:50 am | Report abuse |
  16. Jennifer

    I'm not sure I buy it. Call me a cynic.

    May 18, 2010 at 12:55 am | Report abuse |
  17. gale

    Refreshing to see a family like this in Hollywood. A true rare thing. Plus, they all have great looks.

    May 17, 2010 at 10:57 pm | Report abuse |
  18. Dorothy

    Isn't Will Smith a Scientologist?

    May 17, 2010 at 7:22 pm | Report abuse |
  19. dianefernandez

    why can't two people just have a successful marriage without someone calling them "freaky" or saying their (NOT there) marriage is another Hollywood scam. Whatever works for them to make their marriage a success!

    May 17, 2010 at 6:19 pm | Report abuse |
  20. John Martinez

    Yeah, there marriage is another Hollywood scam. Give it two more years. My hunch in that they are a freaky couple behind the scenes anyway so in my opinion, they annulled their vows a long time ago!

    May 17, 2010 at 5:55 pm | Report abuse |
  21. let's be real

    Will Smith knows how to get "jiggy wit it"

    May 17, 2010 at 5:47 pm | Report abuse |
  22. Ace

    Arent they in an open relationship??

    May 17, 2010 at 5:18 pm | Report abuse |
    • Loren

      If so – and yes, I've heard that too – apparently it's working for them.

      October 14, 2010 at 4:58 pm | Report abuse |
  23. LEE

    I like this couple. From day one of their marriage, a pact was formed and they pride themselves in sticking to it. Their children are beautiful and talented. Good job.

    May 17, 2010 at 5:08 pm | Report abuse |

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