August 18th, 2009
05:17 PM ET

Celebrity oath of office

"Grey’s Anatomy" star Eric Dane is showing quite a bit of his own anatomy in a videotaped naked romp that is making the rounds on the internet. In light of this latest Hollywood scandal, I have decided to offer some guidance to those up and comers in the entertainment industry- some words to the wise from someone on the other side of the biz. I have seen these things play out time and time again and I suggest all new celebrities take this pledge before ascending to stardom.

eric dane

So put your left hand on a stack of tabloid magazines, raise your right hand and repeat after me:

Thou shalt not talk about your romantic relationship. It will come back to haunt you. When you give a gushing interview to Barbara Walters or Oprah about how in love you are with your significant other or jump a couch declaring your love, those WILL be the clips that will be played endlessly when you split up.  Be blissfully in love, have a fairy tale Hollywood romance.  But do it quietly.

Thou shalt not make a sex tape, take nude shots, etc. Inevitably it will hit the internet. If there is anything that you have done in your pre-celebrity life, obviously you can’t change it, but going forward, you need to be smart. There are no two ways about this one- if you do it, it will leak.

Thou shalt not drink and drive. You earn enough money now- hire a driver. When you go out to dinner, go partying at clubs or go to premiere after parties and plan on drinking, take a car home.  We know you have expensive cars at home; you don’t need to show them to us by crashing them.  We would respect you much more if you got into a chauffeured car and got home responsibly.

I now pronounce you a certified Hollywood star. If you can follow these commandments you will have a long, happy life in Hollywood. Don’t let me down!

For much more on Eric Dane and Rebecca Gayheart’s steamy naked romp tune in to Showbiz Tonight, 11pm ET/PT- Don’t miss it!


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  1. Heidi

    Well said..I totally agree. Unfortunately we also have to admit to ourselves that it is not themselves but we that decide to use them as examples. They didn't come out and say "I am an example for your children, therefore emulate ME!". Obama is a roll model because he's in a powerful position...only because of that do we know him with celebrity status. He is still a role model without that title because he is an active citizen that works for the good of the people and the good of the country. He's a fine family man, spends lots of time with his kids, and takes good care of his wife. We need to put forth values like that to our kids in every day life amongst ourselves. Celebrities don't need to teach us how to behave ourselves. We need to be teaching our kids how to behave themselves by setting examples in the home and schools..not expecting the movie stars to do it. Our kids can be law abiding good hearted citizens without stars telling them to be..that is if we as parents and teachers and community members decide we want them to be. Sure the celeb status has clout with kids..but only as much clout as we as parents that control the remote allow it to have.

    August 19, 2009 at 6:30 pm | Report abuse |

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