'New Girl': Dating the Fancyman
March 28th, 2012
12:35 PM ET

'New Girl': Dating the Fancyman

When “the smartest guy” Nick knows, Dirk, arrived as a house guest on Tuesday's "New Girl," the roommates weren't the only ones who benefited from Dirk's "wisdom."

For example, when Dirk hit on CeCe, she admitted that she’s seeing someone - and that she’s the boss. Dirk then called the guy she’s dating her “sex-cretary." New vocab for us!

Except Schmidt didn’t like that nickname very much, and then didn't want to have sex with CeCe. He even told her boobs, “Harold and Kumar," that he’s sorry because they’re not going to White Castle. CeCe was up to do anything, anywhere to seduce him, and they wound up in Schmidt’s “fantasy location No. 3.”

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'New Girl': Schmidt is the 'Michael Jordan of trivia'
March 21st, 2012
04:54 PM ET

'New Girl': Schmidt is the 'Michael Jordan of trivia'

Nick's credit score is so low he can't buy a cell phone, Winston is jealous of Schmidt's intelligence (strange, but true), and a real grown-up man falls for Jess.

When Schmidt, Winston, and Winston's lady friend go to trivia night, Schmidt proves he actually has a brain. According to Winston's lady friend, he's the "Michael Jordan of trivia. ... He's like a trivia God!" Naturally, Winston gets jealous and (unsuccessfully) tries to cheat at trivia.

His lady friend reassures him: "I don't want some smart, ripped guy, who owns his own car; I want to be with you." After hearing that romantic statement, Winston's lady friend officially becomes his girlfriend. While they're sealing the deal with a kiss, Schmidt offers his commentary:

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'New Girl': The reinvention of Schmidt
March 14th, 2012
03:02 PM ET

'New Girl': The reinvention of Schmidt

Schmidt is a special breed of man.

For example, the things that set Schmidt off: When Non-Tahitian vanilla is in the same vicinity as his Tahitian vanilla; the ocean (aka a “giant fish toilet”); when Nick calls a panini a hot sandwich; going into the ocean without his aqua socks; and all things junky and disorganized.

So he naturally freaked out when Jess brought home some furniture she got off the street. (It made him "emotionally nauseous.")

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'New Girl': How many ears does Daniel Boone have?
March 7th, 2012
01:03 PM ET

'New Girl': How many ears does Daniel Boone have?

First things first: Spoiler alert!

There was a death on Tuesday's episode of "New Girl." But on a less morbid note, before the death there were plenty of funny moments.

After Jess injured Nick when she tackled him during a game of touch football (yes, Nick should be ashamed), she took him to see her friend, who's a doctor. Her doctor friend isn’t a gynecologist…she’s an OB-GYN, and according to Jess those aren’t the same thing.

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'New Girl': Schmidt, the sexual snowflake
February 22nd, 2012
02:22 PM ET

'New Girl': Schmidt, the sexual snowflake

Schmidt was easily the star player in "New Girl" this week, but let's save his best lines for last and focus on the mess that was Nick.

Julia sent him a cactus while she was on a business trip, and to him, that meant she planned on breaking up with him. Of course. Because that's what a cactus always means.

Clearly, I was trying to understand where he was coming from with that, and wasn't quite getting it.

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Valentine's Day the 'New Girl' way
February 15th, 2012
03:09 PM ET

Valentine's Day the 'New Girl' way

Valentine’s Day didn’t turn out quite the way the "New Girl" roommates planned.

Nick and Julia hoped to go all out for Valentine’s Day, and Winston thought he was going to have a relaxed night with his lady friend.

Jess was feeling “twirly” (her adorkable word for in the mood), so for Valentine’s Day, it was all about what “little Jess” wanted: A one-night stand.

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