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Nobody died and dubbed me the arbiter of all things fashionable, but I can spot a "don't" pretty easily, and last night at the American Music Awards in Los Angeles, there were plenty to go around. In fact, there were so many, like J.Lo, you could have tripped on them. Let's take a "trip" down memory lane.

Janet, "Miss Jackson" if you must, looked like a Crate and Barrel couch that had too much bedazzling.

Speaking of bedazzled, Shakira's shorty black number made Janet's look positively dowdy with all the sparkle and glitz. It was sort of a latex, LED tube dress that fit her like a glove. The hips don't lie.

Rihanna is usually lauded for her ensembles, and while I don't always love the '80s outfits she dons, I can appreciate her ability to pull them off. So what happened last night? Rihanna was covered from neck to ankles in what looked like a white velour "onesie." You know, sort of like little kids pajamas. It was offset by horizontal cutouts that looked like tan stripes, which one person described as a glorified Cinnabon and another termed "Ace bandages." She was wearing a short white shrug that looked like football shoulder pads with spikes jutting forth.

Lady Gaga... you expect a dramatic look from her, it's part of the schtick. But her weirdly proportioned nude leotards, oddly wrapped with the accessory of the night, "Ace bandages," offset by a contraption that looked like a ribcage with Christmas tree lights, and very "Alienesque" headgear were beyond the pale. I kept looking at those straps trying to figure out why they were there and what they were hiding.
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It's a publicity flurry.

Rihanna's two-part interview with "Good Morning America"'s Diane Sawyer airs Thursday and Friday. There's the December cover of Glamour magazine featuring Rihanna, recognizing her as one of their "Women of the Year." Every day it seems another Rihanna video is released, and don't forget her new album "Rated R" is due in stores November 23rd. Until now, she's been silent about the night she was left bruised and battered by then-boyfriend Chris Brown.

Tomorrow, we'll hear from Rihanna. She'll perhaps shed some light on the evening. We may learn what precipitated the blowout that ended in a smackdown. But there are two sides to every story. Rihanna's side has been dramatically illustrated by the leaked evidence photo of her swollen eyelids, bruised face and busted lips.  Chris' side includes a botched Larry King appearance, a fleeting shot of him serving his community service wearing an orange jumpsuit, and his Twitter posting with a link to a music video (made by fans) of he and Rihanna in ostensibly happier times. The video is set to Lee Carr's "The Way We Used to Be" and accompanied by Brown's apology "SORRY YALL. JUST HAD TO POST IT," with a follow-up tweet "FOR THE FELLAS: showing emotion doesn't make u weak... BEING HONEST MAKES U STRONG."

If being honest makes you strong, then perhaps we're about to see a much stronger Chris Brown. Friday at 6pm ET, his side of the story will play out in an interview with MTV's Sway. According to an MTV press release, Brown will address "the questions people have been asking."  In the 30-minute interview, the one-time R&B darling "opens up about the aftermath of his assault" and his sentence that includes anger management and community labor. Why now? Is he looking for the last word after Rihanna's two-day ABC sitdown? Could it be he also has an album to sell? Not yet, but his third album is on the way: "Graffitti" is slated to hit stores December 8th.

In the end, we have two people, two well-timed interviews, two albums to sell, and two sides of the story... with no happy ending in sight.

Game Five of the 2009 World Series is scheduled to begin at 7:57 p.m. ET tonight in Philadelphia, and hitting the national stage is seven-time Grammy Award winner Alanis Morissette. She'll be performing the National Anthem.

It's not an easy song to sing, and having a stadium-sized audience of fired-up sports fans – not to mention millions more watching on TV – is either one hell of an inspiration or a recipe for total disaster.

Morissette is certainly no shrinking violet, as the lyrics to her songs attest. I'm guessing she'll nail it.  Not everyone has managed to, though, and I'm betting you can remember a few botched attempts.

Who do you think has performed the worst rendition of the National Anthem ever?

Not since 1995 has the Golden Globe Awards had a host. That's about to change. The producers have tapped Ricky Gervais for the 67th annual awards show, to be broadcast on NBC January 17th, 2010. The Golden Globe- and Emmy-winning actor/comedian may be best known for his work in the BBC's "The Office." In addition to executive producing the American version of the hit British show, Gervais recently co-wrote, co-directed, and starred in the film "The Invention of Lying" with Jennifer Garner.

His brand of humor may be just what the ailing telecast needs.

NBC's Executive Vice President of Alternative Programming thinks "Ricky is certainly one of the funniest people on the planet and has provided some of the most hilarious and memorable awards show moments in recent memory." You may recall Gervais' Golden Globe acceptance speech that began with, "I'm from a little place called England - we used to run the world before you."

Gervais says he feels like hosting the Globes will offer him "an environment where I feel I can get free reign [sic] as a host."

We can't wait to see what that "free reign" looks like. What about you? Are you more likely to watch?

When something like the David Letterman story breaks, one of the interesting "meta" aspects is the range of tones people take as they react.  In revealing his affairs and the subsequent alleged extortion attempt, Letterman was typically wry and humorous, while TV talking heads, Letterman's supporters, and his opponents have ranged from sober (discussing sexual harassment in the workplace) to somewhat hysterical (Dave should be thrown off TV, castrated, etc.).

Now we have a look at an exchange that eschews the sex jokes in favor of more serious issues: a letter from Terry O'Neill, President of the National Organization for Women, to Rob Burnett, Letterman's longtime executive producer and President/CEO of his production company, Worldwide Pants, Inc. - as well as Burnett's reply to O'Neill.  First, O'Neill's letter, which also went to CBS President/CEO Les Mooves:

As President of the National Organization for Women, I am requesting a meeting with you to discuss respect for women in the workplace and your company's obligation to strive for gender parity in decision-making at all levels within your organization.

In 2009, workplaces remain plagued by men in power sexualizing women.  The behavior that David Letterman appears to have admitted publicly - engaging in a number of sexual relationships with subordinate staffers - sends a harmful message not only to his own employees but also to his millions of viewers, many of whom have seen similar antics first-hand in their own work lives.  When a powerful boss like Mr. Letterman has sex with his subordinates it infects the work culture with uncertainty, gossip, and in some cases, hostility.  The resulting toxic environment is unfair to everyone.  All employees, women and men alike, want and deserve to be judged by their skills, qualifications and professional performance alone.

Your company can act responsibly, as corporate employeers and as a force in the media and culture, to create an environment where women and men are equally respected.  But a real commitment to equality must start at the top.  I urge you to look at your boards and other decision-making structures, at every level of your organizations.  About 50% of the people with real power and authority should be women, and a high proportion should be people of color.  I am eager to discuss with you how you might make your corporate cultures more inclusive and less abusive, and respectfully request a meeting at your earliest convenience.

I appreciate your attention to this matter and look forward to hearing from you soon.

Six days later, Burnett replied:

Thank you for your letter.

Since we started as a company in 1993, we have taken very seriously the issues you raise regarding respect for women in the workplace.  And, as an employee of David Letterman's since 1985, I have personally found the work environment on his shows to be fair, professional and entirely merit-based at all times.

For the past nine years, at the highest level of the Late Show leadership, three of our four executive producers have been women, all of whom have worked for Dave for more than 25 years (in August we promoted a man to become our fifth executive producer).  In addition, the heads of both our talent and production departments are women.  Among Late Show staff, 58% are women, and all the major divisions on the show except one are led by women supervisors, all of whom have been with the company since its inception.

I would also point out that the admissions you cite that Dave made publicly did not stem from a complaint from anyone on our staff, but rather from an alleged attempt to commit a crime, extortion, against Dave, who decided to take the matter to law enforcement.  Since that time, our human resources department has consulted every member of the Late Show staff, and not a single complaint has been raised or filed.  Moreover, over the 29 years David Letterman has been broadcasting, there has never been a sexual harassment claim made against him.

I hope this information demonstrating our record of gender equity and sensitivity is responsive to the concerns you raised in your letter.  Thank you again for writing.

Wow.  We found both letters to be impressive - what do you think?

David Letterman's musical director, Paul Shaffer, hit Los Angeles Wednesday night as part of a tour to promote his new biography with the lengthy title "We'll Be Here For the Rest of Our Lives: A Swingin' Showbiz Saga." He co-wrote the book with David Ritz. It details his days on Broadway, his "Saturday Night Live" stint and his 27 years working with Letterman.

It's tough to be out promoting your book when your boss is embroiled in a sex scandal. Inevitably there will be questions regarding  the brouhaha, questions that go unanswered. Shaffer did say "I'm not allowed to even talk about that situation. It's like an ongoing legal proceeding and as such, you can't comment on it."

After 27 years on Letterman, you may think Shaffer has seen it all. Is there anybody he hasn't worked with throughout the years? Is there someone with whom he'd really like to collaborate? Yes, actually, and it may surprise you:

"I heard Kim Kardashian has a record deal. Can you get me a meeting with her agent? I would like to bring her in the studio and lay down some happening tracks and put my coffee right on the top of her a** and just leave it there."

Really, Paul?

Editor's Note: Several commenters believe this quote was lifted from Adam Carolla's podcast. It came from an interview Paul conducted with CNN producer Anita Bennett.

I read with interest the latest salvo in the Carrie Prejean-Miss California USA tussle. The pageant officials are asking the ousted Prejean to pay back the $5200 they ostensibly "loaned" her to have her breasts augmented. Their demand for repayment followed Prejean's lawsuit claiming pageant officials violated her privacy when they told reporters her breasts were fake.  Call it tit for tat.

If you pay any sort of attention to pageants, and I admit I don't, the before and after pictures of Prejean are markedly different. Let's just say her cups now runneth over. Did pageant officials invade her privacy or did they state the obvious? That's for a court to decide.

The court will also decide whether the 22-year-old Prejean will have to reimburse the pageant. The two sides don't agree on much at all these days, but according to court filings, the one thing both sides did see eye to eye on was the need for Prejean to "grow a pair" in order to be more competitive in the Miss USA pageant. Prejean was the first runner-up; you make the call.

What do you think? Should Prejean give back the money... or the merchandise?

Former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin is sitting down with Oprah Winfrey.  According to Harpo Productions, the two women have never crossed paths before, and this will be the first time they meet.  The interview is set to air Monday, November 16th – one day before Palin's new book,  "Going Rogue: An American Life," goes on sale. 

Palin, Sen. John McCain's running mate in the 2008 presidential election, was a polarizing figure who was both applauded and mocked for her folksy style. Following her unsuccessful bid for VP, Palin stepped down from her post as governor of Alaska, which garnered her some criticism.

 Is "Going Rogue: An American Life" on your reading list? Will you watch Oprah November 16th?

Beastie Boy Adam "MCA" Yauch, who recently had surgery to remove a cancerous tumor in his left salivary gland just got back from a trip to  Dharamsala, India.  He shared some of his experiences in a letter to fans.

Here's an excerpt:

hey all,
 
so i just got back from dharamsala, india. went over there to see some tibetan doctors, but as it worked out, the Dalai Lama was giving a 3 day teaching, so i was able to attend that as well.
 
i'm feeling healthy, strong and hopeful that i've beaten this thing, but of course time will tell.  i'm taking tibetan medicine and at the recommendation of the tibetan doctors i've been eating a vegan/organic diet, which surprisingly enough was harder to do in india than it is now that i'm back home. here i can just shop for the right food and cook... a lot easier than depending on restaurants.
 
when i was in india i visited an ani gompa (a nunnery) called jamyang choling. they did a puja (religious ceremony) for me to help me get well. one nun said to me "we do prayers and then you are better." so i've got that going for me, which is nice.

What's nice is that Yauch's cancer was located early, was localized and according to doctors will not affect his vocal chords.  It sounds like he's pursuing an East meets West course of treatment.

David Letterman took to the airwaves Monday night with an addendum to last week's shocking admission that not only had he slept with female staffers, but that it had become the object of an alleged extortion plot. The news caught staff and audience members by surprise. He addressed the fact that he blindsided them.

“I’m terribly sorry that I put the staff in that position.  Inadvertently, I just wasn’t thinking ahead.  And, moreover, the staff here has been wonderfully supportive to me, not just through this furor, but through all the years that we’ve been on television and especially all the years here at CBS, so, again, my thanks to the staff for, once again, putting up with something stupid I’ve gotten myself involved in."

Letterman then talked about the impact of his revelation on his wife.

“Now the other thing is my wife, Regina.  She has been horribly hurt by my behavior, and when something happens like that, if you hurt a person and it’s your responsibility, you try to fix it.  And at that point, there’s only two things that can happen:  either you’re going to make some progress and get it fixed, or you’re going to fall short and perhaps not get it fixed, so let me tell you folks, I got my work cut out for me.”

Letterman is right, he has his work cut out for him at home. He's dealing with both the public and personal aspect of  his actions. Comedian Lewis Black offered his take on the whole matter Monday during an interview with a CNN producer. He called for a cease and desist of sorts.

"He came out, he told you. That’s it, case closed. You don’t need to write anymore…you don’t need to write whether you think he’s right or wrong. What are you, a priest? Idiots. You don’t make a judgment call. He had sex. Oh god, he didn’t have sex on TV. Privately. And the only reason he had to come out is because some idiot tried to make money off of it. That’s the story. He is not the story. I am tired of it."