Schmidt is a special breed of man.

For example, the things that set Schmidt off: When Non-Tahitian vanilla is in the same vicinity as his Tahitian vanilla; the ocean (aka a “giant fish toilet”); when Nick calls a panini a hot sandwich; going into the ocean without his aqua socks; and all things junky and disorganized.

So he naturally freaked out when Jess brought home some furniture she got off the street. (It made him "emotionally nauseous.")

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First things first: Spoiler alert!

There was a death on Tuesday's episode of "New Girl." But on a less morbid note, before the death there were plenty of funny moments.

After Jess injured Nick when she tackled him during a game of touch football (yes, Nick should be ashamed), she took him to see her friend, who's a doctor. Her doctor friend isn’t a gynecologist…she’s an OB-GYN, and according to Jess those aren’t the same thing.

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Schmidt was easily the star player in "New Girl" this week, but let's save his best lines for last and focus on the mess that was Nick.

Julia sent him a cactus while she was on a business trip, and to him, that meant she planned on breaking up with him. Of course. Because that's what a cactus always means.

Clearly, I was trying to understand where he was coming from with that, and wasn't quite getting it.

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Valentine’s Day didn’t turn out quite the way the "New Girl" roommates planned.

Nick and Julia hoped to go all out for Valentine’s Day, and Winston thought he was going to have a relaxed night with his lady friend.

Jess was feeling “twirly” (her adorkable word for in the mood), so for Valentine’s Day, it was all about what “little Jess” wanted: A one-night stand.

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Between Nick and Jess almost getting it on and Schmidt getting pinned in a parking deck for appearing to assault his boss, "New Girl" was quite amusing last night, despite a lack of plot development.

To start things off, Jess “out-crazed a man with a gun” when the man almost collided with Nick while trying to steal his parking spot. That brings up the discussion of Nick's negative outlook.

When Jess wants to call the landlord to fix some of the things in their apartment and Nick is adamant about her not calling the landlord, Jess chalks it up to him being such a Debbie downer.

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