Today's news you might've missed:
it was great....
Hey Gross! Those were great, especially the pirate one. Lol!
Good morning all! Gross and Peace-thanks for the am chuckles. Good way to start the day! Good to see everyone drifting back to the blog again, too. Howdy to Triumph and BV, too. Hope you all have a good day!
Hi ya, Sadie! Much needed rain last pm. Yay, no dragging hoses out today!
I am now. I'm having margaritas :)
A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Hey, I haven’t seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible.”
“Arrr…what do you mean?” says the pirate. “I feel fine.”
Bartender: “What about the wooden leg? You didn’t have that before.”
Pirate: “Well, we were in a battle and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I’m fine now.”
Bartender: “Well, okay, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?”
Pirate: “We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. Me hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook. I’m fine, really”
Bartender: “What about that eye patch?”
Pirate: “Oh, one day we were at sea and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up and one of them crapped in me eye.”
“You’re kidding,” says the bartender. “You lost an eye just from bird crap?”
Pirate: “It was me first day with the hook.”
A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman are sitting in a bar in New York reminiscing about home.
"Back in me pub in Glasgow," brags the Scotsman, "fer every four pints of stout I order, they give me one fer free!"
"In me pub in London," says the Englishman, “I pay fer two pint's o' Guinness and they give me a third one free!"
"That's nuthin'" says the Irishman, "In my pub back in Dublin, you walk up to the bar, they give the first pint fer free, the second pint fer free, the third pint fer free - and then they take you upstairs and you have s ex for FREE!"
"Is that true?" asks the Scotsman. "Has that really happened to you?"
"Well, no," says the Irishman, "but it happens to me sister all the time!"
Here's a cute one to start the day.
Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year-old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning." Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having s ex would surely be asking for trouble. "Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong." She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "He'd still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn't come along."
why are they ending the marriage?
What the h€ll happened to their heads? Lol
Hey BV! How the heck have you been? It's been a while. I was looking at that picture, too. Don't they look more like cardboard cutouts. And, what is wrong with this sentence? "Which such be quite a feat cause he's, you know, a super-bot." Now, I've been out of school for sometime now, but that was poorly written, and they get paid for that. lol...Anyway, glad to see you pop in again.
Hey Vixen! Hi Sadie! Their heads do look a bit weird in that pic. They are actors so perhaps their egos have grown large enough that their heads must expand to make room for them. Glad I'm not the only one that noticed that piece of grammatical diarrhea Sadie. Me thinks their English be not good! Lol
Well hey there you 3! How's it going?
Lol Sadie, I noticed that, too. Me thinks (lol Triumph) the word "such" was supposed to be "should". I had to read it twice myself. I liked how they ended the next one about Anna Kendrick..."we doubt you even finished reading the sentence". Lol!
Nice to "see" ya BV! Hope all is well w/ya!
Hi all. Enjoy your day :)
Enjoy yours too, BV!
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