Today's news you might've missed:
I like pulling my legs over my head and spurting diarrhea into the air like a tur-d fountain!
Wow, you're flexible! Did you know that Richard Fore can lick his own balls...that's what he told us, anyways. Lol!
I heard the song on the Call of Duty preview and I thought it was a "specially for video game" made song. It sounds cheap and in no was passionate. Eminem's style of rapping has gone past its used by date. Now he sounds like some nasal, screeching whiny little rich white guy. NEXT!
I have not seen or heard from eminem since he coordinated with Borat to have that hairy posterior descend from the ceiling and land upon eminem's face during that award ceremony. Bad career move, and it looks like he's still traumatized. Eminem should hook up with Prince now that it's legal and everything.
Stupid whyte-boy wannabe rapper Eminem is so aptly named, isn't he? Just like M&Ms, he's light colored on the outside, and black on the inside.
The distinction between Guts and Balls:
To those of you who are nit-pickers about the meaning of words, there is a medical distinction between Guts and Balls. We've all heard about people having Guts or Balls, but do you really know the difference between them?
In an effort to keep you informed, here are the basic definitions:
GUTS - is arriving home late after a night out with the boys, being met by your wife with a broom and having the GUTS to ask "are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"
BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the boys, smelling of perfume and beer with lipstick on your collar, and slapping your wife on the azz and having the Balls to say "you're next, chubby."
I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions. Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome. Both result in death.
You made me laugh. Enjoy a poopsicle!
A newlywed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor told them, "We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from s ex for an entire month."
The couple agreed and, after two-and-a-half weeks, returned to the church.
When the Pastor ushered them into his office, the wife was crying, and the husband obviously was very depressed.
"You are back so soon...Is there a problem?" the pastor inquired.
"We are terribly ashamed to admit that we did not manage to abstain from s ex for the required month," the young man replied sadly.
The pastor asked him what happened.
"Well, the first week was difficult; however, we managed to abstain through sheer will power. The second week was terrible, but with the use of prayer, we managed to abstain. The third week, however, was unbearable.
We tried cold showers, prayer, reading from the Bible, anything to keep our minds free of carnal thoughts.
But one afternoon, my wife reached for a can of paint and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I
noticed that she didn't have panties on and I was overcome with lust and I had my way with her, right then and there," admitted the man, shamefacedly.
"You understand this means you will not be welcome into our church," stated the pastor.
"We know," said the young man, hanging his head.
"We're not welcome at Home Depot anymore, either.
Someone sent that to me this am. Had to share with ya Triumph & Bag!
Funny! You can have a poopsicle too!
Hey you! Thanks, but I'll pass on that, it's kinda cold here today. Lol, got chili? (I may be sorry I asked that. :o )
Of course! I always have warm trouser chili! lol
Hey everybody! How ya all doing? Funny you should mention it, Peace. I made chili on Tuesday. The weather has been so fall like lately, it seemed appropriate. Thanks for the chuckles, guys!
Hey Sadie. How you doing? I'll trade the heat here for your fall like weather right now. I'm ready for fall to begin already lol.
Hey Sadie! I'll bet (& play the odds on it...lol) your chili is way different than Triumphs. Lol!
Triumph, It has gotten so cool here (how cool is it?), the leaves are starting to change color already! Too early!!! We do get hot & humid next week, tho. Hey, you mentioned a lake, so do ya fish? If so, what do ya catch? Just curious.
Peace, I am the latest in a long line of avid fishermen. I love to go fishing off my dock. I catch bass, bluegill and catfish off it.
Hey Triumph and Peace! Thought I'd check this one more time before I leave for work. I'm digging this weather, although, like Peace said, we are warming back up next week. It has been a strange summer this year. Fall is my favorite season anyway, so it can stay like this for as long as possible. Off to work. Later!
Triumph, Please tell me ya have a grill nearby that dock. (Grilled bluegill & catfish!) We were fishing on the Rabbit River a couple yrs ago & were catching perch left & right. Made an awesome beer batter & deep fried them. Yum! Was in northern MI, another time, perch fishing & was catching walleye instead! Another great fish fry! Yeah, I like to fish, too. :)
Peace, if I didn't have a grill nearby that would be criminal. I have a grill on my back deck mere steps away from the dock :) Cool that you like to fish too. When I lived in California I used to do a lot of stream fishing. Caught mostly trout out there. Loved to fry them up after catching them. Good stuff :)
My sister fishes for trouser trout every single day!
Stream fishing as in "fly fishing"? Loads of fun! Do you like smoked fish, too? The Great Lakes are full of good eating fish. Whenever I go to Mac city, I always get smoked fish to bring home. There are smokehouses in Mac city & St Ignace. St Ignace is across the Mac bridge in the U.P. Oh sorry, the upper peninsula. I'll be going there with Sadie & I can't wait! :)
Reggie, Trouser trout...lol!
Nah not quite fly fishing. Fly fishing uses a technique I don't know how to do. I wish I did though lol. Stream fishing is just fishing out of streams and creeks. I love smoked fish! Any time. I managed to catch salmon in California it was immediate cause for me to break the smoker out lol.
Morning Triumph! Fly fishing is more "work", I prefer a container of worms, tackle box, pole, & a cooler in a row boat. The edge of the river isn't so bad, either. The end of a dock is more convenient, tho. Sounds like you have a great set up & I'm jealous! Can I come over & go fishing with ya? I'll bring the cooler. Lol!
My favorite is peanut eminems.
lol...I like them, too.
I liked the limited edition M&M's with creamy fecal filling. They never made it onto the market, but I got to try some from the development team and they were absolutely disgusting.
Send me a picture please!
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