Three years after seeking treatment for "emotional and physical issues," Demi Lovato has cultivated a new definition of what it means to be tough.
The 20-year-old singer and actress, who recently buried her estranged father, opens up in the August issue of Cosmopolitan about her new outlook and the struggles she still faces.
"If you're spending your entire early 20s chasing the next party, what are you running away from? That's not a bada**. What's a bada** is when you can sit through your problems and feel emotions when you don't want to have them."
Lovato has openly battled bulimia and self-harm, and she's documented her recovery in some of her music. Still, "there have been nights where I've had to sit on my hands, because I want to act out, because I physically can't sit still in the pain I'm dealing with, from looking back and being bullied or other things that happened," Lovato said. "And now, as hard as it may be, I will do that. That's what makes me a bada**. Being a bada** is handling your s***."
Lovato's troubles didn't begin with the infamous Jonas Brothers tour she bowed out of in 2010; rather, she tells Cosmopolitan, they stem all the way back to her childhood.
Now 20, Lovato can recall feeling suicidal at age 7, right around the time her career took off with her role on "Barney & Friends."
"At the time, I was just so grateful to be on TV, but I was also really struggling," she says. "Even before 'Barney,' I was suicidal. I was seven. With 'Barney,' I guess subliminally, I did have a relationship with this figure that was saving my life in a way ... I've talked about being bullied and the years of being a teenager, but I went through things when I was younger that I've never talked about that probably caused me to turn out the way I ended up turning out."
Although she's still facing painful experiences, she believes the suffering isn't in vain.
"I'm not super religious, but I grew up Christian and I believe in God," she tells Cosmo. "I just feel like God gave me a voice, not just to sing with. He put me through those things, which seemed horrible at the time, but they were so worth it. With the obstacles I've overcome, I can help people."
Demi Lovato is a terrible role model. I have a 16 y/o daughter who for some reason idolizes this person, and tries to mimic her. She wants to look like her, and worse of all, act like her....In the name of Demi, she now cuts herself, has an eating disorder, and has recently been hospitalized for emotional instability. My daughter thinks acting this way is cool. My daughter is too immature to realize the consequences of idolizing an emotionally disturbed person and the consequences of this.Demi Lovato needs to shut up!!
honestly i think ur daughter want to fit in and thats why she is doing that stuff and demi didnt tell her to do anything so u cant blame demi
Umm.. Excuse me? You obviously are not focusing on the real problem with your daughter. It is not Demi's fault that your daughter is cutting herself. It is likely that she is trying to get your attention because maybe you are the problem and not being a good mother. Demi is there to help and it is not her fault that your daughter is so obsessed with her. So check yourself before you blame someone else like a real adult because I am a teen and I feel more mature than you. Dont hate.
Her part time job needs a tune up.
there are good Christians and there are full of sh-t Christians...I know the ones who are real and the ones who are full of sh-t and use it as manipulation for control....its sad stuff
She has a crummy voice....I have given her a chance for a year now but her voice sucks.
Dont hate.. Your just jealous cuz her voice is amazing. You probably sound like an injured pig.
save the other bad news if she starts again
you attention craving dope...spare us and just do it then. I bet you dont have the guts.
She is not a singer, can't sing-in-key Live and never could. Amazing what lies the media and PR hype can produce.
now let's move on....unless I see who this person its just blogging right now.
Funny, evertime I hear her sing, I want to commit suicide.
I wish her the best – success in every way.
Suicidal because she was a child actress? Or suicidal because mom is dragging her to the next screen test every three seconds?
but do absolutely nothing about the stupid hacker troll comments. What gives, CNN? Why does this alleged hacking "victim" get to pollute the blogs with her incessant ramblings? Everyone needs to Report Abuse on all that nonsense until the stupid troll goes away.
She's a beautiful and talented girl. I'm glad she is getting help for her struggles.
The privileged and spoiled develop their own unique perspective on life's values. Where not too many miles from their own home, people dig deep to scratch out a living for themselves and family. Meanwhile some of the elitists feel the peer pressure of NOT having what some would view as frivolous trinkets. Like Mom and Dan buying them the same model Mercedes a classmate got from their parents. Tough life we think. But the affects are just as bad.
Reblogged this on halfn0te.
Suicidal at 7
Working on getting better at 17
Attention seeking at 20
Demi...no one is suicidal at 7. If you understood that concept at 7, you had poor parenting and influences.
Not true. My dearest friend was hospitalized in the third grade for suicidal behavior, and she came from an amazing home. Some people are troubled souls.
I'm sorry. My first memory of depression was in first grade. And I'm talking serious, cry for no reason, sit alone and wonder what's wrong with you depression. I think you need to reexamine that not everyone thinks the same way as you, and if people understood that better, more people would have the help they need.
I was suicidal at 8. I've never heard of this actress before. I was reared in a good family; no stage mom. It doesn't matter whether you're rich/poor whatever, mental illness can start at any age in any family. I struggled with self harm starting at age 12 and was in and out of hospitals. It's probably better that she's bringing attention to this issue, although I wish she were stating more blatently "you can get help; it's not your fault and you're not alone". Also, I hope she's donating some of her money to causes like NAMI.
False! Being suicidal at 7 sounds like it's not possible but it's possible. It happens. I didn't even remember I was suicidal at that age until I began reading my old journal entries.
Give me a F ing break. She was not suicidal at age 7.
I love it when a 20 year old thinks they have enough life experience to make huge statements about life and what it takes to make it through. Shut your idiot mouth.
I agree. Even though it's good that she is speaking out, it's really annoying to have a 20 year old put up on a pedastal and talk like she has it all figured out. I don't care how evolved a person is...no 20 year old should be dispensing words of wisdom. Annoying!
Her childhood is not our problem...people who have had childhood problems sometimes use it as a manipulation make others feel guilty
That is not my problem that she was a suicidal kid :)
WHEN I WAS SEVEN YEARS OLD, I ALWAYS FELT BETTER AFTER I TOOK A DUMP.
Oh, SHUT UP, you vacuous twit. You were NOT!
As a lifelong sufferer of legitimate clinical depression who still undergoes treatment to this day, idiots like this truly insult me to my core. She insults thousands every time she opens her ignorant mouth.
Shut up yourself. No one wants to hear your crybaby story either
I find it funny, that the same people who would argue that a 7 year old boy has a right to use the girls bathroom if he really thinks he is a girl, would say that a 7 year old can't be suicidal...
You dont know her or her life
the only thing she's good at is bein an attention ho
she's from here...where she lives has changed I've been shopping at the malls there-– there are eskimoze there too...
If I was born a Big Shiz in the Ghetto, I would be suicidal also!
Not the real palintwit at 1:52 pm. ^
You can tell by his IP address. He reboots, thinking it will throw you off track but it doesn't. We know all we need to know abou Sokman thanks to his IP.
the real demi is a talent.
Everytime I hear her song..I really hope I get a heart attack
I agree with aallen333. 2much2fast. As for M.A.P. Man will let u down. Jesus will raise u up.
I respect her a lot as a person since we have a lot of the same issues. I figured I'd give her music a shot on that basis, but good lord it's terrible! You can't be messed up and do the whole teenie-pop thing with it. Somebody give that girl a Joy Division album, some Siouxsie, perhaps some Garbage too.
Wow someone on here actually has music taste!
We are forcing our children to grow up way too fast. No child should be suicidal at 7 years of age. These are the consequences of an MTV culture and increasingly mature subject matter being fed, through the education system and media, to innocent developing minds incapable of processing what they are hearing and seeing. We are sucking the joy out of our children at a time that should be the most carefree and joyous of their lives. Shame on us all.
A psych called me suicidal at about the same age and I never watched MTV at that age. Y'know what really sucks the joy out of childhood? Having a crap childhood.
sorry too hear that
I went to the same school as her, was only a few years behind, and from what my older friends told me/teachers said Demi was definitely not bullied, if anything she was a bully.
Good lord, Demi is at it again for attention. You know what little girl, MANY people are suicidal at age 7. I myself was abused and beaten severely, left for dead even by my parents, and tried to commit suicide multiple times, even going as far as jumping in front of cars as a kid, just because I felt death was the right way to go about it. While I never succeeded and grew up and grew out of this phase of wanting to die, I never continuously talked about it to get attention like Demi does. You had a drug problem, so did I. You have a suicide problem, so did I. You arent the only one, so shut up and get help and grow up!
She is getting help. You are the one who clearly is need of help though. Wow, you have some serious issues. I was suicidal at the age of seven too from repeatedly being raped for years, but I worked through it. You might want to think about dealing with your rage because it apparently controls you if an article like this gets you that worked up. Good grief.
Quit being an abusive bully.
Um, your talking about it right NOW Willie Diaz...and you obviously haven't recovered and now use your "abuse" as a reason to abuse...
Shes not saying shes the only one. Shes trying to bring awareness that you can be suicidal at such a young age. Maybe you need to go back and get some help since you obviously still have issues
Demi Lovato: "I was suicidal at seven"
So you went to Hollywood!!
Domo arigato, Demi Lovato.
Lady is such a lie bullied as a teenager when did she have time to get bullied beening on tv all the time, plus she was a good looking teenager i dont believe a dang thing this girl says. Really 7 years old give me a break you dont even know what that word means at 7.
I didn't want to bother with you but you are such a moron it is unreal. Being on TV does not mean your life is great, being attractive does not mean you will not be bullied, and you are clearly too stupid to comprehend suicide at 7 but most can even if they don't quite realize the finality of it.
Chris, I beg to differ. You are most likely not on TV or are good looking. I on the other hand have had personal experience in both of those areas and I can honestly say that Demi is full of it. Everyone on TV is happy. Everyone who is attractive doesn't get picked on – that's how god intended it. She just needs to drrrty her image up but druggo sl ut was already taken so they went for "depressive/suicidal" for her transition from Disney. Don't worry it's all an act.
I want to reply to jeremy, but I'm not sure how to address such ignorance and blatant stupidity. Um, you're just wrong.
LOL you people are the idoits believe all the bull crap these Entertainers say is to funny. You really think she had such a rough life growing up as a millionaire give me a break. Your just as gullible as the next person. All she wants in her name back in the press since its been about 6 months or what ever was since she was a judge on the singing show. Its all about the money and if you dont think so well then dont know what to tell you. This is all and imagine she brough out to sell end of story.
I was suicidal at 8. Kids know the feeling of wanting to die if they're really depressed, even if they don't know the exact words until later. I've never heard of this singer before. I was reared in a good family; no stage mom. It doesn't matter whether you're rich/poor whatever, mental illness can start at any age in any family. I struggled with self harm starting at age 12 and was in and out of hospitals. It's probably better that she's bringing attention to this issue, although I wish she were stating more blatently "you can get help; it's not your fault and you're not alone". Also, I hope she's donating some of her money to causes like NAMI.
You sir are an idiot. Money and looks has absolutely NOTHING to do with mental health. Just because you have money doesnt mean you cannot feel suicidal or have mental issues. You're just as ignorant as the rest of em.
"Being a bada** is handling your s***."
This is TRUTH. There are far too many people who simply can't handle their s*** in this day and age.
Pay your bills, take care of your family, love one another, and HANDLE YOUR S***.
"but also an ocean of pleasure" (New Buddha)
I just want too mention the sequins on the dress-no jewelry required-the hair fabulous
"Life is a sea of suffering" (Buddha)
demi is so pretty, great dress , hair...that is the way a s-xy young woman should look....
thank goodness we have M.A.P in these times
Aww! I do what I can!
No M.A.P. is not correct. Anyone can be really struggling no matter how much they're on tv. Don't tell me you honestly believe no celebrities have deep pain which they often drown in addiction. Also I beg to differ you can be attractive and bullied. I was bullied as a kid and looking back I was a very cute one and (still am). The other kids picked on me b/c I was one of those kids who was quiet, socially awkward, and "different." Maybe that wasn't your experience but you can't generalize your more fortunate experience to everyone who has the looks and/or is on tv.
YRM..thats your personal Opinion on your self being cute when you were younger big difference of what other people think. i dont recall any time in my time in school was a good looking girl ever picked on so yea.
Yrm, you were definately not cute. And I can tell from how you wrote your message you were never seriously bullied. You just want to ride in and pretend you know more about this issue and knock me down. YOU are wrong – Demi Lovato may think she's depressed or whatever, but I guarantee you this is a marketing stratergy. No famous 20 something can be like Hanna Montanna – they need edge to remain appealing. This is demi's attempt at creating "edge" for helself. Miley cut her hair short and sings about drugs, and the ones who stayed pure anre GONE (Zach Braff or whatevs).
^@Yrm, and as long as there is gullible people like you to soak this crapp up, the celebrities will keep selling themselves as victims of society, even though they are making millions off of making young girls feel insecure and unattractive.
F k M.A.P.
they suck ti ts
We have it dear...thanks for you leadership.
Yeah, you're not religious – you just think god caused all those things to happen to you because he wanted you to be famous. Yep, that doesn't sound like a crazy jesus freak to me. Fcking hell what is wrong with all these people!?
Exactly what you think is wrong with them. They are like a different kind of people, functionally, even if deep down inside they are the same human. I've been through it with so many Christians in my lifetime and I've Denver seen their minds really debate any ideas out about the true nature of the cosmos and life. They honestly have really let me down as a collective group of people. Trust your conclusions on this one. You are right.
Thank you for patially restoring my faith in MANKIND. See people – you should have faith in man, not in a pretend GOD.
Stay classy, you pathetic, miserable moron. Suicide....the best thing in the world to joke about...When is it your turn?
ignorant, insensitive troll.
As someone who, at age ten, put his Father's semi auto.22 rifle in his mouth his mouth and pulled the trigger, only to realize the weapon was empty, Children are quite capable of contemplating suicide. I don't care much for Demi, but you're just being a jerk now.
Don't be a troll all your life.
It's not the size of the wand that matters - it's the magic that's in it.
I know, I know...any second now I'm expecting the old "Your comment is awaiting moderation" message.
Aren't you the lucky one. But you sure sound like you have a problem now. Grow up.
Thats horrible :(. Im really glad it was empty
Thats horrible :( Im really glad it was empty
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