Last night, the sixth season of “True Blood”—and first without creator Alan Ball—premiered with all the blood, sweat, and sex we’ve come to expect from our friends in Bon Temps.
We picked up right where we left off: with a terrified Sookie and Eric running from a very bloody Bill, transformed after drinking Lilith’s blood.
The episode set up several storylines that will play out over the course of the season, including a new villain, a whole lot of romance and a war.
Here’s what everyone is talking about after last night’s premiere.
1. Sookie staked Bill
Sadly, he didn’t die. But when Sookie drove that stake into Bill’s cold, dead heart to protect Eric, she thought he would.
When he pulled the bloody stake out of his chest, it became clear that though Bill is now beyond immortal, Sookie’s love for him is dead. In that moment, she chose Eric over Bill. In the words of "Arrested Development"'s Tobias Fünke, "huzzah!" It’s about time, girl.
Eric walked Sookie home, and once they were inside, he stabbed himself in the wrist with a pen and signed ownership of her house back over to her. It was sweet.
Just when it seemed like Eric might spend the night, she disinvited him from her home. Nora, waiting on the porch, called Eric out on his love for Sookie. Are they finally going to get together?
2. Who or what is Bill?
After Bill guzzled Lilith’s blood, he transformed into ... something—but what? Even he has no idea. He said he’s still Bill Compton, “but more.”
Bizarro Bill compelled Jessica to him, nearly ripping her apart in the process. Still, she decided to stand by him.
Unfortunately, though Bill went through some incredible transformation, his hair was unchanged. Can we get Lala on the case?
After a full season tease, we finally saw Warlow, the man responsible for the deaths of Sookie and Jason’s parents.
We met the creepy old guy when he picked up a hitchhiking Jason, who had run off after yet another fight with his sister. They’ll probably tearfully reunite around episode 9, as usual.
When dimwitted Jason mentioned his sister, Warlow’s friendly stranger façade cracked. He’s still after Sookie, and she should be worried. The guy has yellow eyes and the ability to vanish when in danger!
Which is precisely what happened when Jason tried to shoot him. Hopefully Jason got a grip on the steering wheel before he slammed head on into that tree.
4. The war on vampires
When “True Blood” began, vampires had just come “out of the coffin.” The road toward assimilation has been rocky, but now the governor of Louisiana is creating a giant roadblock.
Governor Burrell declared war on vampires, urging his citizens to stock up on guns and ordering a shut down of all vampire-run businesses.
Which brings us to lovelorn Pam and Tara, who were quarrelling in Fangtasia when government soldiers barged in to shut down the bar.
The governor also made an interesting deal with the manufacturers of TruBlood. Whatever his plan is, we have a feeling that it’s going to backfire.
Actress and comedian Retta, aka Donna from “Parks and Recreation,” aka Twitter’s #1 TV fan hosted a pre-show. She interviewed the stars of the show about stunts, fangs, fairies and more.
She even tried on a pair of fangs herself, and suggested they cast her as a vampire queen on the show. Imagine Donna “he can get it” Meagle becoming a vampire, being elected queen (I realize queens aren’t normally elected, but Leslie Knope could make it happen), and moving to Bon Temps. Imagine Donna and Lala celebrating Treat Yo Self 2013! Pedicures on top of pedicures on top of headscarves on top of fine leather goods on top of statement necklaces.
HBO, everyone is talking about this. And by everyone, I mean me and my sister, so presumably everyone else. Make it happen.
What are you talking about after last night’s “True Blood” premiere?
Please end this f-ing show after this season! I have been watching since season one and have not gave a darn about it since season three. The should have stuck to vampires, now that the whole work is Sups this show has been whack.
One of the poorest reviews of True Blood I've ever read!
I am SO glad True Blood is back. I have to mull over the whole thing for a bit...but I have to say – what the eff about Sookie so fully breaking it off with Eric? I mean, it was so good between them – and then that's it. I reallly hate it. But I guess we can't have a couple and still have as much angst and drama etc so FINE. I guess I will just deal with it, no matter how shiite-y it is. Mer fckrs. Bit happy it is back, at least I get to see them all again, and at least there is something awesome to watch now that Game of Thrones is gone for a Freaking Year. WHo define these enormous breaks anyway? It's crap!
I read Ruger Hauer is playing Niall Brigant not Warlow. Much better if so!
Well...Sookie and the gang are back...my thoughts? Give me some La-fay-ette...he has to be the coolest character on TB...I love him...OMG...did you just put the "dimwit" on Jason Stackhouse...lawdy he is a fruit basket...lol Oh my what about the triplets? Say what...5 years old in a matter of what 15 minutes or less??? that was too funny...
I enjoyed it...a lot to take in in 60 minutes, but it will be an interesting season...
this will allow me not to be so anxious for Boardwalk Empire AND Game of Thrones...
Stupidest show on TV. Bunch of mor@ns watch this, and fantasize that vampires really exist. Yeah, and Frankenstein lived on the 3rd floor of my college dorm, and there were WMD in Iraq that Bush found.
Hmmmm anyone who uses the name "VoteForPedro" is hardly in a position to pass judgement on a show that light years more entertaining then Napoleon Dynamite.
I have a tattoo on my lower back (yes, a 'tramp stamp') that says HONK BEFORE ENTERING.
1st off spoiler alert should have been posted before this article started incase others haven't seen it yet. I saw the episode so not a spoiler for me. 2nd I have no inside info into the script or show, I think the war between humans and vamps(shifters, weres and fairies) will be the main reason for the season, but I think Bill's new super vamp powers are going to be very useful if he has to save Sookie from Warlow because if Warlowe is mentioned in the vamp bible along with Lilith, Warlow is going to be just as powerful. Oh and no mention of Andy's kids growing from infants to about 4-6 year olds over night don't even get a mention, that part was funny. Lafayette's maternal instinct kicked in for the little girl from Sam's dead girlfriend, maybe he will help Sam raise her and now that Alcide is pack leader maybe the little girl's grand mother will be able to reconnect since the girl is more were than shifter.
Well, Sarah Palin is back on Fox. Proving once again she is the turd that won't flush.
The BEST LINE of the line came from Arlene! "...and when you stick Mr. Happy inside somebody's hoo-ha without a raincoat on, babies come out!"
When you stick Mr. Happy inside somebody's poopchute without a raincoat, NO babies come out, thank God.
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