While you were working ...
May 31st, 2013
05:22 PM ET

While you were working ...

Today's news you might've missed:

  • Is there anything cuter than a boy band cuddling with giant pandas? The  members of the Backstreet Boys got to hold them while visiting China's Giant Panda Breeding Research Institute in Chengdu. They should really be more careful the next time they decide to hang out with adorable animals - they might melt the Internet!
  • How's this for a fun Rihanna fact: Out of the singer's seven studio releases, only one didn't sell more than a million. The 25-year-old just notched her sixth platinum album this week with her latest release, "Unapologetic." [Billboard]
  • Justin Timberlake entered a spelling bee too once upon a time - but the word "wharf" took him down. [Page Six]
  • Whatever is going on between Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth, Cyrus has made one thing very clear: She's still rocking her ring. [People]
  • Jeff Probst on that one time he went on his first and last date with Katie Couric: "What I remember most about the date is how nervous I was and how little I offered to the conversation. It was like I forgot how to go on a date." Ouch! [Us Weekly]

Filed under: While you were working

soundoff (68 Responses)
  1. bobcat (in a hat)©

    aint Peter is watching the gates of Heaven, but he really has to go the bathroom. He asks Jesus to watch the gates for a few minutes, and Jesus says "Fine." St. Pete takes the book which lists everyone who's supposed to get into Heaven with him to the bathroom to have something to read.�

    As Jesus is standing there, he sees this old man leading a donkey up from Earth to Heaven. He notices the old man has carpenter's tools with him. When the old man gets to the gates, Jesus tells him he doesn't have the book, but asks the old man to explain his life and why he felt he should be admitted into heaven. Jesus would then make the decision whether or not to let him in based on the story.�

    The man explains "In English, my name would be Joseph, but I didn't live in America or England. I lived a modest life, making things out of wood. I'm not remembered very well by most people, but almost everyone has heard of my son. I call him my son, but I was more of a Dad to him, he didn't really come into this world in the usual way.�

    I sent my son out to be among the people of the World. He was ridiculed by many, and was even known to associate himself with some pretty unsavory characters, although he himself tried to be honest and perfect. My single biggest reason for trying to get into Heaven is to be reunited with my son."�

    Jesus is awestruck by the man's story. He looks into the old man's eyes and asks, "Are you MY earthly father?"�

    The old man's face brightens; he looks at Jesus, and asks, "Are you my Pinocchio?"

    June 3, 2013 at 1:46 pm | Report abuse |
  2. bobcat (in a hat)©

    An orthopedic surgeon was moving to a new office, with the help of his staff. One of the nurses sat the display skeleton in the front of her car, a bony arm across the back of the seat.
    On the drive across town, she stopped at a traffic light, and the stares of the people in the neighboring car compelled her to roll down her window and yell, I’m delivering him to my doctor’s office.” The other driver leaned out of is window. “I hate to tell you, lady,” he said, “but I think it’s too late!”

    June 3, 2013 at 1:05 pm | Report abuse |
    • bobcat (in a hat)©

      After a lady’s car had leaked motor oil on her cement driveway, she bought a large bag of cat litter to soak it up. It worked so well, that she went back to the store to get another bag to finish the job. The clerk remembered her. Looking thoughtfully at her purchase, he said, “Lady, if that were my cat, I’d put him outside!”

      June 3, 2013 at 1:11 pm | Report abuse |
  3. tracie

    OK THIS IS A POOP FORUM. ONLY TALK ABOUT POOP PLEASE. THANKS!

    June 3, 2013 at 10:49 am | Report abuse |
  4. Pliny

    Know how you can tell if your best friend is gay? His co<k tastes like sh!t.

    June 3, 2013 at 10:35 am | Report abuse |
    • Pliny

      Pliny-troll

      Your obsession with my "orientation" is more telling about YOUR OWN.
      Why does it matter to you or anyone else that I am gay? That is none of your business, bigot.
      But of course, to a looser such as yourself with no life outside of your mother’s basement, what
      more can we expect? LOL

      June 3, 2013 at 11:06 am | Report abuse |
  5. starrfire ⭐

    It's nice to know how much I was missed, Sadie and Peace! CUL!

    June 3, 2013 at 10:27 am | Report abuse |
  6. chrissy

    I'm a single mom from detroit shunned by men, so true to stereotype I have a relationship with the government as my provider instead. Despite the failings of my ideas clearly evident in detroit I am still a rabid sozialist and I will repeat 0bama talking points here all day, predictable as pie, since the new TJI moderator has grown sick of me!

    June 3, 2013 at 10:01 am | Report abuse |
  7. Save the pandas

    While I know that it's vogue to support gay, interracial, and all other kinds of relations, I really think the backstreet boys shouldn't breed the pandas. They can breed sheep and goats, but pandas are endangered and should be encouraged to breed with other pandas.

    June 3, 2013 at 9:55 am | Report abuse |
  8. AVENNEI46

    Are you still single? Maybe ~ВlàckWhìteHub. ℂom ~ - is suitable for you. This is serious black and white dating services and personals site dedicated to those seeking real love. Thousands of white women and black men have been meeting on this site and created interracial couples success stories of their own, not to mention the thousands of black women and white men dating and finding love on this website too. Single black people meeting single white people is why we are here.

    June 3, 2013 at 5:52 am | Report abuse |
    • Hey

      No mention of Emily? OMG WOW...DID SOMETHING HAPPEN TO YOUR FRIEND EMILY!?

      June 3, 2013 at 7:24 am | Report abuse |
  9. tracie

    I PUT POOP GRAVY ON MY MASHED POTATOES TONIGHT! THE SECRET IS IN THE SAUCE!

    June 3, 2013 at 12:54 am | Report abuse |
  10. tracie

    SPREAD MY LEGS AND CALL ME "DUMPY SALLY!"

    June 3, 2013 at 12:46 am | Report abuse |
  11. Alvarez

    I don't use toilet paper when I poop. Going green by going brown.

    June 2, 2013 at 11:21 pm | Report abuse |
  12. Turd Blanston

    Pooped my pants again tonight. Now I'm watching hockey and sitting in my own filth. GO BLACKHAWKS!

    June 2, 2013 at 9:19 pm | Report abuse |
  13. bobcat (in a hat)©

    A rooster was strutting around the henhouse one Easter morning and came across a nest of eggs dyed every color of the rainbow. The rooster took one look at the colorful display, ran outside and beat the heck out of the resident peac ock.

    June 2, 2013 at 7:11 pm | Report abuse |
    • Peace ☮

      bobcat, Your jokes are great! I vote that you bring us a joke every pm on wyww! :) We can call it, "The evening grin, by bobcat".

      June 2, 2013 at 8:37 pm | Report abuse |
    • bobcat (in a hat)©

      @ Peace
      I will be more than happy to oblige you on your request. I had been posting daily doses of jokes on the TJI blogs, but the powers that be, over there, decided to block them. But even when you stay on topic, they either block or delete your posts. Needless to say, I'm looking for a new home. I hope maybe it can be here.

      June 2, 2013 at 9:09 pm | Report abuse |
    • yea

      Don't take credit for all the jokes. I used to post jokes here as well funny man.

      June 2, 2013 at 11:15 pm | Report abuse |
    • Peace ☮

      Thanks bobcat, I look forward to the "evening grin"!
      @yea, Were you Attilla (sp)? You had some good 1's too!
      Didn't we used to have a joker named Doug, too?
      Maybe we could have a "joke off"...yes, I said joke...lol!
      Have a good day, even tho it's Mon. :)

      June 3, 2013 at 7:16 am | Report abuse |
    • Peace ☮

      Btw, Where's Triumph, Sokman, & BV?

      June 3, 2013 at 7:18 am | Report abuse |
    • TriumphTheInsultComicDog

      Hey Peace! I'm still around. Just been lurking and plopping out stink nuggets in the shadows for the past couple of days. How are you?

      June 3, 2013 at 9:21 am | Report abuse |
    • ※Sadie※

      Good morning all! Hey Triumph! I was wondering what happened to you, and to Sokman, too. I had a busy week last week, so I didn't come around a lot, either. Glad to see you back.

      June 3, 2013 at 9:54 am | Report abuse |
    • yea

      H¡ Peace, how was your vacation? Yeah, that attila the hun was a funny one..lol. I bet that person is a w¡ld and crazy one..lol. I'm lurking and popping in and out as well. Not doing a Triumph lurking and plopping thou. I'm keeping ¡t clean..lol.

      Hey Mr. Tr¡umph! How is your mom's leg doing?

      Hi Ms. Crazy Sad¡e. How are you doing today?

      June 3, 2013 at 10:09 am | Report abuse |
    • V¡xen

      Ahhh sh¡t... I was yea. I forgot to change my name..lmao

      June 3, 2013 at 10:10 am | Report abuse |
    • ※Sadie※

      Morning BV! How ya doing? I'm texting with Peace right now. I will tell her that you popped in. Do anything exciting over the weekend?

      June 3, 2013 at 10:13 am | Report abuse |
    • V¡xen

      Well my parents are here on vacation, so I spent time with family, and said a prayer for Serenity..lol

      June 3, 2013 at 10:16 am | Report abuse |
    • Peace ☮

      Hey BV & Triumph! Sadie told me you both stopped in...now where's Sokman? Lol!
      BV, Dad doing ok? Glad ya got to visit w/family! :)
      Triumph, How's Mom? I'm good. Vaca went too fast. Didn't get to go to Munising, weather was awful there. Switched up plans & still had a good time. I was disappointed about not going there, tho. :(

      June 3, 2013 at 10:27 am | Report abuse |
    • ※Sadie※

      Prayer for serenity? lol... Glad when they visit, but glad when they leave, too? I totally understand, though. Did your weather ever get better? It was only 60 here yesterday. Been having a lot of rain, too. I'm having a hard time getting out there to plant flowers. Did you get your vines planted? What do you usually plant? Do you do Morning Glory's? They would be a fast grower, too. I picked up a couple of the mandevilla vines. They are calling them something different this year. If you are interested, I'll go out and get the name for you. Let me know.

      June 3, 2013 at 10:29 am | Report abuse |
    • V¡xen

      Weather turned out great. Hot, humid but I'll take it. Raining now thou.

      Awww..fam¡ly...they're alright. It's just everyone get together and they get stup¡t

      I got Cypress vine and I want to go back and get Tangerine Beauty. I was thinking of getting Morning Glory. Maybe I should. That okay..no need to go through the trouble getting that name.

      June 3, 2013 at 11:08 am | Report abuse |
    • V¡xen

      Oh Peace..my Dad is still hanging in there. Thank God. Thxs for asking

      June 3, 2013 at 11:09 am | Report abuse |
    • Peace ☮

      :) So glad to hear that, BV!!! Time to get busy, have good day, all!
      Looking forward to you tonight, bobcat!

      June 3, 2013 at 11:19 am | Report abuse |
    • ※Sadie※

      I had to google Cypress vine. Pretty. Do you plant those in pots, or are you on the ground level, so you can plant in the ground? Oh, those other flowers that I was telling you about previously, I think they are called Lantana. I bought a small planter with that in. I have to buy something to get them higher off ground, so the hummingbirds can get at them, without my cats nabbing them. If you can get that in a hanging basket, you will double your hummingbirds. They really like the purple ones. There wasn't an info spike in the planter, so I could verify name, but I'm pretty sure that is what they are called. I think you'd really like "Dipladenia". That is the mandevilla vine name. Gets like about a 4 inch flower on it. Grows really fast, too. You can actually bring those into the house for the winter, and put back out the following year.

      June 3, 2013 at 11:25 am | Report abuse |
    • TriumphTheInsultComicDog

      Hey Sadie, Peace, Vixen. Mom is doing better. I've got her exercising to strengthen her leg. Slowly but surely it's getting better. Hope you all are doing well. Now I must go give my neighbor's cat a shampoop.

      June 3, 2013 at 3:05 pm | Report abuse |
    • Peace ☮

      Good for you, Triumph, taking such good care of mom! You're a good guy!

      June 3, 2013 at 9:53 pm | Report abuse |
  14. bobcat (in a hat)©

    Through the pitch-black night, the captain sees a light dead ahead on a collision course with his ship. He sends a signal: “Change your course 10 degree east.”
    The light signals back: “Change yours, 10 degrees west.”
    Angry, the captain sends: “I’m a navy captain! Change your course, sir!”
    “I’m a seaman, second class,” comes the reply. “Change your course, sir.”
    Now the captain is furious. “I’m a battleship! I’m not changing course!”
    There is one last reply. “I’m a lighthouse. Your call.”

    June 2, 2013 at 6:34 pm | Report abuse |
    • bobcat (in a hat)©

      By the time the soldier pulled into the little town, every hotel room was taken. "You've got to have a room somewhere", he pleaded with a proprietor. "Well, I do have a double room with one occupant, but he is an Air Force guy" admitted the manager, and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past. I'm not sure it'd be worth it to you.
      " No problem." the tired Army guy assured him, "I'll take it." The next morning the soldier came down to breakfasts bright-eyed and bushy tailed. "How'd you sleep?" asked the manager. "Never better", said the soldier. The manager was impressed. "No problem with the other guy snoring all night long?" "No, I shut him up in no time", explained the soldier.
      "How'd you manage that?" asked the proprietor.
      "Well, he was already in bed, snoring away, when I walked into the room, so I gave him a kiss on the cheek" explained the soldier. “Then, I whispered in his ear 'Good night beautiful', and he sat up all night watching me."

      June 2, 2013 at 6:39 pm | Report abuse |
  15. Peace ☮

    Honey, I'm home! How's everybody doing?
    @bobcat...lol!

    June 2, 2013 at 2:34 pm | Report abuse |
  16. Est. 19xx

    Not a bsb fan. Bears are hella cute.

    June 2, 2013 at 12:01 am | Report abuse |
    • Peace ☮

      Hey Est. 19xx! Those bears are too cute, aren't they? Cuter than the guys holding them...lol!

      June 2, 2013 at 2:46 pm | Report abuse |
    • ※Sadie※

      Never been a "boy band" fan. They are going to need more than those cute little pandas to be appealing to most people. I do think it is time these guys change their name, though. Really not working for them now.

      Welcome back, Peace. I hope you had a great vacation. Howdy to all! I hope you are all having a great weekend.

      June 2, 2013 at 6:06 pm | Report abuse |
    • Peace ☮

      Hey Sadie! Funny how a week goes by so quickly when you're not at home, but, when you're home...lol!

      June 2, 2013 at 8:39 pm | Report abuse |
  17. bobcat (in a hat)©

    Please allow me to introduce myself
    I'm a joker, I'm a smokerI'm a midnight tokerI sure don't want to hurt no one.
    So let the festivities begin.

    In Hollywood they get married early in
    the morning. That way, if it doesn't work
    out, you haven't wasted a whole day.

    June 1, 2013 at 12:30 pm | Report abuse |
    • bobcat (in a hat)©

      Have you ever noticed

      It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts: your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one, dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

      June 1, 2013 at 12:43 pm | Report abuse |
    • bobcat (in a hat)©

      A large group of Taliban soldiers are moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a sand-dune. "One Texas soldier is better than ten Taliban".

      The Taliban commander quickly sends 10 of his best soldiers over the dune whereupon a gun-battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes, then silence.

      The voice then calls out "One Texan is better than one hundred Taliban".

      Furious, the Taliban commander sends his next best 100 troops over the dune and instantly a huge gunfight commences. After 10 minutes of battle, again silence.

      The Texan voice calls out again "One Texan is better than one thousand Taliban".

      The enraged Taliban Commander musters one thousand fighters and sends them across the dune. Cannon, rocket and machine gun fire ring out as a huge battle is fought. Then silence.

      Eventually one wounded Taliban fighter crawls back over the dune and with his dying words tells his commander, "Don't send any more men, its a trap. There's actually two of them."

      June 1, 2013 at 12:55 pm | Report abuse |
    • Meaty poop

      A group of Taliban men poo into a hole. The hole is filled. Then they make a new hole.

      June 2, 2013 at 5:08 am | Report abuse |
    • ※Sadie※

      Bobcat- may I add another lol!

      June 2, 2013 at 6:08 pm | Report abuse |
  18. chrissy

    Well aint that just sweet. The same jack assss troll thats on the TJI blog is on this one too. Thanks jeffrey grant roem you freakin coward. Not me at 11:16

    June 1, 2013 at 11:59 am | Report abuse |
  19. chrissy

    I wonder if any of the pandas pooped on them? That woulda been funny.

    June 1, 2013 at 11:16 am | Report abuse |
  20. M.A.P.

    "Is there anything cuter than a boy band cuddling with giant pandas?"

    Yes, a boyband with turd smeared all over their faces, perhaps in loveheart shapes. With stars.

    June 1, 2013 at 5:45 am | Report abuse |
  21. chrissy

    Eww @ Tim! Thats an absolutely horrifying thought!

    May 31, 2013 at 11:58 pm | Report abuse |
  22. chrissy

    Eww @ Tim! Thats an absolutely nauseating thought!

    May 31, 2013 at 11:56 pm | Report abuse |
  23. Abe

    When dis Superman become an antiamerican Hussein Obama supporter?

    May 31, 2013 at 10:43 pm | Report abuse |
  24. Tim

    I bet you could take one of those panda things, slow roast it over an open pit, then coat it in A1 sauce, and it would be almost as good as a hamburger. That'd be some good eatin. American style. Not like what those gay democrats eat.

    May 31, 2013 at 9:23 pm | Report abuse |
  25. Doug

    I heard Pandas are mostly gay. That's why there aren't so many of them.

    May 31, 2013 at 9:07 pm | Report abuse |
  26. Dan

    PANDAS ! Those things are soooooo delicious. Have you ever tried barbecued panda? It taste just like chicken! Muy delicioso !

    May 31, 2013 at 8:48 pm | Report abuse |
  27. Peace Love Happiness Charity

    We are all about farts and poo. Plese contributed to the constipated-lmao

    May 31, 2013 at 6:18 pm | Report abuse |

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