February 1st, 2013
11:39 AM ET
[Editor's Note: If you haven't seen the series finale of NBC's "30 Rock" and are sensitive about spoilers, you should skip this post.]
After seven seasons of loopy hilarity, “30 Rock” is over. Thursday night, our friends at “TGS” told us that they were going out for cigarettes and would be back in 15 minutes.
In other words, goodbye forever (or at least 35 years).
At the beginning of the episode, Liz settled into being a SAHM (stay at home mom, duh). She immediately got into a fight on a mommy blog and challenged her adversary to a showdown IRL. “I’ll be the one wearing a purple sweater and wrapping a baby swing around some skank’s neck.”
But that skank was her husband, and instead of fighting, they had an honest conversation. “You’re a dad,” Criss said. (“I do like ignoring your questions when we watch TV,” she responded.)
So Liz went back to 30 Rockefeller Center. After refusing Kenneth’s generous offer of turtle meat, she pitched a quality - and Justin Bartha-free - new show. He hated it, but told her he needed her to do one more episode of TGS, the 150th, to avoid paying a $30 million penalty to Tracy.
Jenna was around to do the show since “Law and Order: Mind Beauty” didn’t work out and her plan to do cin-em-ah stalled when a brunette Cerie greeted her at LX. “Shut it down.”
The writers got one last free lunch, and it was Lutz’s turn to pick. He wanted Blimpie. Blerg!
Everyone threw a fit, but “dumb, old, uncool, part-Inuit, bisexual, 51-year-old Lutz” was determined to enact revenge for seven years of abuse. “Why are you doing this to us?” UCB improv star Anthony Atamanuik screamed. He finally got a line!
Meanwhile, Jack embarked on an ASS (analyze, strategize, succeed)- inspired upward spiral that included a three-way relationship with exes Nancy (Julianne Moore) and Elisa (Salma Hayek) that was so intense they both ended up with British accents.
Jack ended up telling Liz work would never make her happy. “You’re just an alcoholic with a great voice,” she said. “When I met you, I was perfectly happy with what I had. Eating night cheese and transitioning my pajamas into daywear.”
“You unsharkulated me,” Jack retorted.
Jack feared Liz would hold a grudge after she coldly told him to enjoy his billionaire vacation, and Jenna tried to tell Liz Jack needed her. “He’s in a really bad place, like when Mickey Rourke ... I can’t do this anymore. I’ve never met Mickey Rourke.”
But Liz was looking for Tracy. She found him in the strip club he took her to in the pilot episode, singing the same jam. Tracy confessed that he was sabotaging the show because it’s so hard to say goodbye. Liz was honest. “I love you, and I’m going to miss you. But tonight might be it.”
Back at the office, Pete warned Liz someone might be getting ready to fake his death. There was a suicide note video from Jack. “He’s going to kill himself because of me! This is like my gynecologist all over again.”
She found Jack hurling himself over a railing ... onto his boat. He was taking to sea to clear his head, but first he struggled to tell Liz how he felt without inviting her to scale bone mountain. “I love you too, Jack,” Liz said.
He made it nearly 100 yards before he turned around and said he had the best idea of his life: a clear dishwasher, so you can see what’s going on inside.
Back at "30 Rock," double Hitlers Tracy and his Baloney Jenna Maroney tearfully embraced in a moment nearly as poignant as her farewell to her mirror. The entire cast and crew of “TGS”/”30 Rock," now one in the same, huddled together.
“Thank you America.” Tracy said. “That’s our show. Not a lot of people watched it. But the joke’s on you because we got paid anyway.”
One year later, Liz was working on Grizz’s sit-com and having it all. Jenna was accepting Tonys she hadn’t won then flashing cam-ah-rah. Paula found
But it all happened in Kenneth’s snow globe. Just kidding! Immortal Kenneth was in a pitch meeting with a young Miss Lemon. “It’s based on stories my great-grandmother told me,” she said. So “30 Rock” was from the future. In that case, I want to go to there.
It’s hard to believe that “30 Rock” is over, in part because it went out on top. Fey and Co. didn’t just sustain their rapid-fire joke pace for seven seasons, they deepened the characters, went off the deep end of weirdness and kept swimming. The finale showcased the show’s expert ability to be moving without being schmaltzy, to be poignant and hilarious in equal measure.
For “30 Rock,” this isn’t goodbye. I know that whenever I’m feeling blue, the show’s mood-lifting powers are just a mouse click away. Tiny Fey’s creation will live on in our improperly connected hearts and brains forever.
About this blog
Our daily cheat-sheet for breaking celebrity news, Hollywood buzz and your pop-culture obsessions.