January 15th, 2013
10:14 AM ET
Monday's episode of "The Bachelor" began with Sean working out. Not sure what that had to do with the show, but to each his own.
We then moved on to the manor, where plaid-wearing Chris presented the 19 remaining women with the first date card of the show.
Sarah, the ad exec with one arm (she reminded us of this fact several times - I'm surprised the show didn't bother flashing a "CHEER FOR THIS WOMAN" graphic every time she appeared on screen) was the recipient of the first one-on-one date. Using the show's official mode of romantic transportation - a helicopter, of course - Sarah was taken to her date, which began on the top of a skyscraper.
At this point, you could have stepped away from the TV for the next 20 minutes to do something else, because the "skyscraper landing" could only mean one thing - Sean and Sarah were going to descend down the building with harnesses and ropes in order to receive their "prize" (dinner and/or booze) on the ground.
It's a date the show and its spinoffs have done numerous times in various forms, and it gets less and less interesting the more it's done. I like when the show tries something different with their dates (which they did later in the show), but bringing out a dull standard causes me to tune out.
Despite the date being as boring as watching grass grow, as well as Sean showing up for his dinner date like he just got up from a nap, Sarah received a rose.
When it was group date time, 13 women headed to another "Bachelor" mainstay: the photo shoot. This time, the girls had to act out scenes from romance novels, and whichever woman showed the most chemistry with Sean would win the opportunity to appear on the covers of three Harlequin romance novels.
After four hours of primping, pouting and popping off at one other, Kristy won the contest. I should mention that Kristy apparently signed with the famous Ford Modeling Agency in 2006, so she probably had quite the advantage heading into the shoot.
At the cocktail party, yoga instructor Katie, whose lone highlight during the series has been resembling actress Rebecca Gayheart, told Sean that she feels like the odd woman out so she's dropping out of the show.
After that, Sean gave a rose to Kacie (a "Bachelor" Ben Flajnik reject), who was overjoyed at the fact that she and Sean may be more than just friends. This development didn't please Tierra, who received the first rose last week and is now being labeled as the contestant all of her rivals hate.
Desiree, who I still refuse to call "Dez," received the second one-on-one date of the show, and Sean took her to an art gallery. Well, it wasn't an actual art gallery, but rather an elaborate prank that Sean and the show pulled on Desiree.
Long story short: Desiree was placed in a room alone with a sculpture said to be worth $1.5 million. The sculpture suddenly fell to the floor and shattered into many pieces. The sculpture's "artist" (actually an actor) accused Desiree of destroying his work. Just before things got any worse, Sean arrived to tell Desiree it was a prank. Kudos to the show for trying something different, but it just wasn't funny.
Sean and Desiree moved on to dinner and hot tub time, where Sean showed off his Apollo Creed-inspired bathing suit. Despite the horrors of seeing that, Sean gave Desiree a rose.
At the next cocktail party, the focus was centered on Amanda, a fitness model who, thanks to the power of clever editing, seemed to want nothing to do with the other women in the manor. She wouldn't talk or look at them, and she appeared annoyed that she had to hang out with people who weren't Sean.
Of course, that meant that Amanda had to wait until the bitter end of the rose ceremony to find out if she'd been saved by Sean. It was down to Amanda and two women (Diana and Brooke) who barely made a peep all episode for the final rose, and you knew it was going to be Amanda receiving it.
Next week, Sean tries to set a record, while someone else is taken out in an ambulance.
What did you think of last night's "Bachelor" episode?
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