November 30th, 2012
11:27 AM ET
[Editor's Note: This post contains spoilers for the November 29 episode of NBC's "30 Rock."]
After a negative pregnancy test, Criss took Liz out for disco fries to cheer her up. At the restaurant, she spotted Dennis Duffy feeding his new son, Black Dennis, orange soda.
“We decided to adopt because Megan’s real career oriented right now. Didn’t want to wreck her boobs,” Dennis explained.
Liz was frustrated that even a dummy like Dennis was able to adopt so easily, just because he was married. So, naturally, Criss proposed: “Let’s get married like every other idiot on Earth!”
Jack urged Liz have the wedding day all little girls dream of, but even in her wildest childhood dreams, her brief marriage to Saul Rosenbear didn’t make it off the Love Boat. “Liz Lemon is getting married in a sweatshirt, no bra,” she said. Now that’s a dream wedding.
The next day, Liz and Criss marched into City Hall to find they were the only pair getting married in gym clothes.
Meanwhile, Jenna was dealing with a crisis of her own. Terry (John Hodgman) had finally collected the 1 million Surge points necessary to purchase her, according to a 1994 commercial she did.
Though Terry said he’d settle for the $800,000 Jenna was worth instead, Jack argued that she had depreciated and was worth only $2,000.
Jenna’s ego was so depleted that she had a normal-sized portion of tomato soup for lunch (seasoned with vodka). Jack assured her that he was worth even less: “I’m at an age where I no longer need erectile softeners.”
Meanwhile, Tracy faced his mortality after Dr. Spaceman told him he was in perfect health. This bad news contradicted Tracy’s assumption that he would die young like his doppelganger James Dean.
Just as he was losing hope, Tracy was hit by a taxi and had a magical conversation in his mind with Jack as Harriet Tubman. Jack/Harriet gave him hope.
Back at City Hall, Liz had a revelation of her own: “A tiny little part of me that I hate wants to be a princess.”
Liz gave into her girly side and left to put on deodorant.
In the end, Liz looked like a princess - Princess Leia, to be exact - at her perfect wedding.
As Jack read from “The Fountainhead” and Megan ate pasta, Liz and Criss’ wedding was what all weddings should be: A reflection of the bride and groom’s love for each other.
Liz and Criss are now bound together forever, and not just because her lip got hooked on his grill (which she gave him in place of a ring).
What did you think of Liz and Criss’ wedding?
About this blog
Our daily cheat-sheet for breaking celebrity news, Hollywood buzz and your pop-culture obsessions.