October 5th, 2012
11:32 AM ET
Cue up the Boyz II Men, “Jersey Shore’s” sixth and final season is underway.
Not unlike past season premieres, Thursday's episode kicked off as the gang prepared for a summer of booze, brawls and one-night stands in Seaside Heights, New Jersey.
But Sitch seemed confident enough in himself, and Snooki assured viewers that pregnancy had turned her into a new woman as clips of her antics from past seasons played on the screen. “I definitely did, like, a whole 180.”
Then we headed over to JWoww’s house, which she lives in with Roger and her two little dogs. As she was loading her suitcase, Roger complained that he just wanted to settle down with her but couldn’t because she was running off to the shore. JWoww’s response: “Where’s my ring?” (The two announced their engagement in September.)
And then there’s Ron and Sam, who are - get this - back together, but they already seem to be disagreeing with each other…
Ron: “I’m not really looking forward to living with a pregnant chick, to be honest with you.”
Sam: “I think it will be cool.”
Deena was excited to show off her new attitude and new look, but she wasn’t excited to leave her boyfriend Chris or be the only crazy meatball in the house. (In case you're new to the party, Deena and Snooki refer to themselves as meatballs.)
The Situation shows up first and starts cooking dinner for his roommates, which apparently means “I’m sorry” in Italian.
Everyone woke up before 9:30 the next morning and set out to GTL. Except poor Snooki. She couldn’t work out too hard at the gym, or tan. Vinny noted: “Nicole not being able to tan in a tanning salon is like a [expletive] fish, just like, looking at the ocean on the sand.”
Pauly D was pretty stoked about it, actually: “I no longer have any competition in the house for the tannest Guido because Snooki can’t tan so I take the belt.”
That night, Snooki and Jionni went out for dinner while the rest of the cast hit up Karma.
Even though Snooki wanted to go meet up with everyone at the club, she decided it’s no place for a pregnant woman. Sober Sitch, on the other hand, seemed to be having a great time.
You’ll never guess what happened later that night ... unless you’ve watched the show before: “Wasted-beyond-wasted” Ron got mad at Sam for not eating dinner before going out to the club.
He told Sam, “I have a million girls that can do what you do.” (Yes, but do you have a million girls that would stay with you if you said that to them?) Then he slid down the stairs on his backside. Karma?
In other drama, Deena started crying when Vinny asked her boyfriend Chris about furniture. As it turns out, Deena doesn’t have an aversion to ottomans or loveseats. She was just emotional because she didn’t want to leave her beau. Snooki called her co-dependence “crazy pants,” and we agree.
The next day Snooki and Sammi went shopping while Deena and JWoww went for drinks and pondered the definition of “integrity.” Deena decided it actually means “shame,” even after the bartender assured her it’s about “self-worth and values.”
Snooki dropped a bomb on her roommates during Sunday dinner. She told them she was moving into the apartment next door so she could be pregnant in peace. Vinny also dropped a bomb: He’s going to be celibate for the rest of the summer. Of course the ground rules are still fuzzy, but he seemed pretty excited about it.
What did you think of the beginning of the end of “Jersey Shore"?
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