August 6th, 2012
11:38 AM ET
On Sunday night’s “True Blood,” the Authority enacted Bill’s evil plan by bombing the world’s largest Tru Blood factory.
The only sane vampires left in the Authority, Eric and Molly, plotted their escape. Eric invited Bill, giving him one last chance to join the Mainstreamers.
At Fangtasia, Pam and Tara were dealing with the ramifications of the factory explosion. While talking about how they should proceed portioning out Tru Blood at the bar, Tara could tell her maker was troubled. Pam snapped at her, “just because we drank a b**** together does not make us Oprah and Gayle.”
Back in Bon Temps, Lafayette read Sookie a text from his estranged cousin: “B****, stop texting me, or I will eat you.” Lala was at Sookie’s weakly attempting to communicate with Warlow. As he explained, “I ain’t Whoopie Goldberg in 'Ghost.' Although I am way prettier.” I’m glad he’s finally back in top form.
But some spirits did send messages. Too many. “I ain’t Gmail for dead, b*****s. Send your own ... messages!” They directed him to a box under Sookie’s bed that contained a newspaper article about her parents’ murder. She realized for the first time that former Sheriff Bud Dearborne found their bodies.
So she went to talk to him, and his girlfriend Sweetie knocked her out with a frying pan. I guess we know why Bud suddenly turned up out of the blue a few episodes ago…
Sookie woke up in a pigpen with Hoyt nearby. Later, Sweetie, the hate group’s Grand Dragon, directed her minions to toss Sookie to the pigs. Sam, incognito as an oinker, shifted and caught her. Then he unleashed some impressive naked ninja skills on the bad guys. (Sam Trammell’s butt has done fine work this season.)
Andy and Jason burst through the door, and Andy shot Bud dead. Sweetie took off, but Luna followed her, tackled her and beat her senseless. After, Bon Temps’ most bada** couple left to pick up Emma.
They’ll be in for a surprise. In an attempt to woo his new beau Steve, Russell took him to see his pets: the Shreveport werepack. Now we know where JD has been getting his V. Russell shed some blood and the weres greedily drank.
Except Martha. When she refused to partake, Russell took Emma from her arms and gave her to Steve as a pet. The pack protested to no avail. What kind of moron trusts Russell?
After being renounced from the pack, Alcide reminisced about choosing pack life over human life as a teen. (Maybe he can skin walk, because Luna would have made a more believable “Young Alcide” than the actor they cast.)
Elsewhere in random, stand-alone storylines, Patrick kidnapped Arlene to lure Terry to Merlotte’s. When Terry showed up, he and Patrick fought, Arlene stabbed Patrick, the lady who cursed them appeared, and Patrick pleaded for his life. Finally, Terry shot him and the Ifrit took Patrick’s body away. I have no idea what the point of this storyline was but I hope it’s over and I’m glad Scott Foley has been freed from this mess.
Back at the Authority, Bill considered leaving with Eric about as seriously as a starving person would consider ordering a starter salad before deciding on a cheeseburger. His new girlfriend Salome plotted how she would make her mark on history, with Bill by her side.
Eric asked his sister to help him find faith in Lilith. Nora fell for his act and followed him to a high security room. Molly was waiting with a vial of silver, which Eric administered. They rushed to the elevators, but Bill appeared behind them.
Traitor! Salome was waiting in the elevator with guards.
It seems Bill is under the spell of Lilith’s blood like Nora, but if he is somehow redeemed by the end of the season, my eyes will roll right out of my head. The guy is a terrorist mastermind!
For the first time this season, things are finally starting to come together We saw the beginnings of the vampire civil war break out at Fangtasia, and it wasn’t pretty. Will the fairies help Sookie free Eric and take the Sanguinistas down? When the war breaks out, what will Russell do? As usual, he’s playing everyone, especially Salome. What will happen to cute little Emma? Leave your theories in the comments.
I think the dream team of Sam and Luna should take on the Sanguinistas. They’re unbeatable!
What did you think of last night’s episode?
About this blog
Our daily cheat-sheet for breaking celebrity news, Hollywood buzz and your pop-culture obsessions.