June 25th, 2012
11:05 AM ET
On this week’s “True Blood,” Tara raged, Bill and Eric got down with the same lady, and Sookie and Lafayette finally left the house.
After nearly devouring a woman, Tara sought out Sam for help. She chugged all the True Blood at Merlotte’s, then passed out. So he stashed her in the walk in freezer because that’s a great place for an unstable new vampire to sleep.
At work the next day, Sookie employed her handy telepathy skills to gauge Sam’s brain and figure out where Tara was. He ultimately agreed that turning Tara into a vampire was the right decision. “Can I give you a hug without you thinking about my boobs?” Sookie asked. “Probably not,” Sam confessed.
Back at the Vampire Authority headquarters, Roman introduced “the new Nan Flanagan”: Steve Newlin! As a human, Steve was dull, but as a vampire, he’s incredibly entertaining.
Bill and Eric were still in the HQ, being harnessed up by Tina Majorano’s character. (Though the actress is best known for her roles in “Veronica Mars and “Napoleon Dynamite,” she’ll always be seal-loving Toni from “Andre” to me.)
Roman enlisted his girlfriend Salome (yes, the one from the Bible) to figure out whether Bill and Eric are Sanguinistas.
First, Salome seduced Bill, then Eric. Of course, Bill later held that order over his current ally’s head. “You know what they say about gentlemen: they don’t brag about sloppy seconds.”
Salome correctly concluded that Eric and Bill support the mainstreaming of vampires. But Nora confessed to being a human-hating Sanguinista.
Salome suggested that Roman give up his cause in order to prevent a civil war, but the Guardian stood his ground. And Roman seemed pretty evil. I suspect he’ll appear positively benevolent once the Sanguinistas make Lillith rise.
Mr. Northman paid Pam a visit at her brothel, where she offered him a free night with one of her girls as a thank you for saving her life. But the only interest Eric showed in Pam’s prostitutes was saving one from Lorena and her new vampire boyfriend, Bill. No surprise, Bill and Eric’s first meeting was hostile.
After they slept together, Pam asked Eric to turn her into a vampire. He refused, explaining that he wasn’t eager to take on that responsibility. “Becoming a maker is an eternal commitment. Greater than any marriage, deeper than any human bond.”
In Bon Temps, Jason ran into his former teacher, who apologized for having a sexual relationship with him when he was too young. But he insisted it wasn’t a mistake. “You taught me how to do the only thing I’ve ever been great at,” he said.
Bon Temps’ most lovable dimwit is having an identity crisis!
Jason’s partner Andy got a visit from Mr. and Mrs. Pelt looking for their daughter, Debbie. Uh oh.
Though she lied convincingly to Andy, Sookie confessed to Alcide that she murdered Debbie.
After breaking out of the freezer and yelling at everyone, Tara broke into a tanning salon to kill herself. So melodramatic! Unfortunately, her maker sensed Tara’s anguish. For once I wish Pam weren’t so loyal.
Three episodes into the season there’s been a lot of set up, but not a ton of action. Though, I like where the story is heading.
The greatest looming questions:
What did you think of last night’s episode?
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