Emily makes her mark on 'The Bachelorette'
May 29th, 2012
11:00 AM ET

Emily makes her mark on 'The Bachelorette'

This week's "Bachelorette" included two individual dates and a group outing, with the first individual date going to "Bobblehead" Chris.

The hint was that it was going to involve climbing, but Chris didn't understand the meaning of the clue. Shocking, because climbing stuff is just as much of a hallmark of this show as helicopters, swimming pools and venereal disease.

What Chris soon learned was that Emily was going to make him earn his dinner by climbing up the side of a building. What happened to Emily the "traditional" single mom? Make Chris cook a three-course meal or, better yet, challenge him to get reservations at the hottest restaurant in the city.

When the two reached the summit, Chris celebrated with a high-five, saying that he wasn't ready to kiss Emily. At dinner, they both agreed that Chris is a man, which was apparently enough for him to get a rose. I will say that I'm a little concerned about Emily's standards.

The group date saw 12 of the contestants get "grilled" by four of Emily's friends at a park, followed by the men frolicking with several children that stormed out of a minivan. I put "grilled" in quotes because the questioning consisted primarily of requests to dance and remove articles of clothing.

Again, I'm not sure what any of that had to do with parenting. As the father of a 10-month-old girl, I would love to see a group date similar to last week's "cookie date"  - something that challenges the men to do actual parenting tasks. The sight of 12 men, for instance, attempting to change diapers or put together a stroller (I've done both) could be comedy gold.

Later that night, Emily and the men went to a place called "Butter" for the post-date party. (I was very disappointed with the lack of butter served at Butter, by the way.) It was here where Emily said goodbye to Tony, the lumber trader and single dad who was feeling the pressure of being away from his young son. Emily told Tony that he should go home and recover, adding that he would find that special someone down the line.

After the surprise elimination, Emily gave her next rose to Sean, a Texas insurance agent who Emily's friends were most impressed with. Emily used the word "awesome" several times to describe Sean - a habit that's bordering on Jake Pavelka levels of annoying.

Arie the race car driver landed the second individual date, and at that point wasn't worried about a rose. He may be worried about his dirty laundry being exposed by the end of the series, though, but we'll come back to that.

Emily and Arie went to Dollywood in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee. You see, Emily's a big Dolly Parton fan, and she considers Dollywood to be "the happiest place on Earth." Disney's going to have a stroke after hearing that.

The two were in a theater trying to write a love song when Dolly Parton dropped by to welcome the happy couple to her amusement park. Thanks to Emily (as well as my father-in-law for catching it), we learned the country legend's middle name - it's "Friggin."

Emily and Arie also had dinner at Dollywood, and I was horrified to learn that funnel cake was not served for dessert. But then Arie revealed that he once dated a woman with two children, a development that "Reality" Steve Carbone writes about here, along with that "dirty laundry" I mentioned earlier.

Arie then proclaimed that he's better than Brad Womack because he's ready for babies. Forget the funnel cake, make Arie carry a pink diaper bag around the amusement park!

After admitting she doesn't have many talents, Emily gave Arie a rose, and they celebrated by getting on a merry-go-round. This was the dating equivalent of two pre-teens going out on their first "grown-up" outing.

When it was cocktail party time, two of the competitors made headlines for all the wrong reasons.  The first screw-up was courtesy of "helicopter guy" Kalon, who's developed quite the knack of making a horse's patoot of himself this season. Is it all an act for the show? Maybe not, at least according to this Facebook page featuring the alleged ramblings of Kalon when he attempted to make a living as a model in southern California.

On the show, Kalon protested not getting to go on any dates this week by wearing eyeglasses but refusing to put on a necktie or socks. If he was trying to look like Don Johnson, he actually gave off more of a Don Adams vibe.

And to make matters worse, he told Emily to let him finish speaking. Conversation is not his strong suit.

Still, Kalon was a choir boy compared to Alessandro, the grain merchant from Brazil who, with his messed-up hair, five o'clock shadow and ill-fitting suit, looked like Kato Kaelin's cheaper, non-union equivalent. He told Emily that being in a relationship with a single mom was a "compromise," prompting Emily to boot him off the show.

With Tony and Alessandro gone, Emily only had to eliminate one contestant at the rose ceremony. That man was Stevie, the New Jersey MC who feuded with Kalon the first two episodes but had no screen time this week. I blame the plaid shirt he wore to the cocktail party - plaid belongs on outdoor dates, not fancy shindigs.

Next week, Emily and the men leave Charlotte and head to Bermuda.

What did you think of last night's "Bachelorette" episode?


soundoff (23 Responses)
  1. Daphne Loasitz

    Kato Kaelin was "best friends" with actor/comedian Norm Macdonald from mid 2000 to mid 2001 according to Macdonald's The Norm Show co-star Artie Lange. Kaelin was even given a guest role on the show. The two had a falling out which ended their friendship...He was married to Cynthia Coulter from 1983 to 1989. They have one child.

    July 16, 2012 at 9:26 pm | Report abuse |
  2. karojen

    We usually watch the show but for some reason, even with Brad, I Found Emily too "Something" Kind of like a Southern Cheerleader, Sorority phoney. I think she would be very high maintenance and very whiny but I could be wrong. I just had a visceral reaction to her from the minute I saw her speak.

    June 5, 2012 at 1:26 am | Report abuse |
  3. Annelise

    Everyone who watches the Bachelor/Bachelorette should check out the weekly blog by "Lost Angeles". He watches because his wife does, and is extremely witty with his recaps. His recaps on Tuesday are one of the few reasons I actually still watch these shows.

    June 4, 2012 at 7:46 pm | Report abuse |
  4. Molly

    Emily is absolutely boring, shallow and spoiled. the depth of conversation with the guys doesn't go further than: let me flatter you. or thank you for flattering me. Tired of every sentence of Emily's mouth starting with I m single mom and have sweet daughter. We all new it. Is there something else in Emily's life?

    June 4, 2012 at 3:09 pm | Report abuse |
  5. TVmogul

    Emilie is too sweet for words. I'd like to see her get laid and stop worrying about whether or not the guy is a good father. Obviously she is looking for a bank account for her daughter. Sorry excuse for TV.

    June 1, 2012 at 12:44 pm | Report abuse |
  6. Dan

    So many airheads have yet to realize that all the people in this show are actors/actresses playing scripted roles.

    May 31, 2012 at 8:04 pm | Report abuse |
  7. Dan

    Clicked this just to enjoy the troll comments and add my own. It really is pitiful that an article was written about this drivel.

    May 31, 2012 at 8:02 pm | Report abuse |
  8. Roger

    Who watches this sh##??

    May 31, 2012 at 6:40 am | Report abuse |
    • tendertype

      then why are you reading this? Starved for attention? Go do some volunteer work

      May 31, 2012 at 12:11 pm | Report abuse |
  9. cindy

    I think she is doing pretty well thus far, I would like to see her and Jef on a one on one...I think he just might be the one..Sean is good so far but I like her and Chris together...he has a respect for her and manners and believe he is there for the right reason...believe his upbringing had made him more mature than his years...Ryan, their date was awesome but he has been kind of "nasty" in some things we here him say...I know we don't see it all but I thought he had better in him than that..

    May 30, 2012 at 4:32 pm | Report abuse |
  10. Lori

    I love Emily, she's a sweetheart, however I'm getting kind of tired hearing her mention that she's looking for her daughter's daddy. Lilke it's all about her. Some of these men have children too, and it's also very important to them to find the right stepmom for their children. Their children are important too. I would love to hear some of these men that are daddies to ask her the same questions to see if she's the right mother for their children. It's like it has become a search for a father more than a husband. Being a husband and father are equally important.

    May 30, 2012 at 1:56 pm | Report abuse |
  11. Danielle White

    How do you not mention in this article that Alessandro refers to himself as both a gypsy and a gypsy king! Ha I lost it when he said that

    May 30, 2012 at 4:32 am | Report abuse |
  12. MiMo

    I enjoy watching this season's Bacheorette. I really do like Emily (except when she tries to wipe off her lipstick on her teeth with her tongue). Sean is adorable. I do like Arie and Doug. I was hoping she would get rid of Ryan. He's an ass. I do agree the show would be more amusing if Emily continued to give these guys more daddy tasks. I wish her the best.

    May 29, 2012 at 3:32 pm | Report abuse |
  13. crowing

    I watch most of the show and like it far better than the Bachelor Ben. ALL he chose to do was make out with as many women as possible - no feelings, just raw making out. Courtney was the perfect choice with her blatant disregard for clothes and morals. Emily wants certain traits and I've agreed with her so far, except I would have already removed 2 more losers.

    May 29, 2012 at 3:31 pm | Report abuse |
  14. Traci K Monger`

    I am very dissapointed she kept that arrogent Kalon, I would have sent him packing right after he said to stop talking...ugghhh must have been a producer call to keep him for entertainment. I think Emily should give the final rose to Chris Harrison and they should live happily ever after....lol

    May 29, 2012 at 3:27 pm | Report abuse |
    • crowing

      I agree, although I wish Chris could get back with his wife. He is a catch and I'm afraid it went to his head.

      May 29, 2012 at 3:33 pm | Report abuse |
  15. MONTREAL

    to babieeeeeeee – yes at least I do- guilty pleasure :-)

    May 29, 2012 at 3:19 pm | Report abuse |
  16. Robin

    I find this seasons Bachelorette quite refreshing. I like Emily and she definitely knows what she wants. Some ppl will say the show is boring but I'd rather have it a little boring than watching a bunch of ppl making out in hot tubs. She's genuine and is looking for a husband and a great father figure to Ricki. I've actually enjoyed watching this season. 100% times better than Ben and Courtney. I wish Emily all the luck. I hope she chooses Sean.

    May 29, 2012 at 1:48 pm | Report abuse |
  17. moon627

    Emily is quite pretty but a bit of an air head and too southern country for my liking but she knows what she wants and is getting to the point rather quickly and kind of boorishly by putting the guys on the spot immediately with her interrogation style of date conversation regarding their intentions towards her as a mother and her child... so if these guys arent ready to be an instant father to her daughter they may as well hit the road which is what happened with Alessandro. Tony was a wimp and Stevie is too Jersey for her. I wish she'd have a date with Michael with the long hair – he's cute and i want to learn more about him.

    May 29, 2012 at 1:22 pm | Report abuse |
  18. Richard Fore

    I used to fu<k this chick in high school. She gives great head.

    May 29, 2012 at 11:44 am | Report abuse |
    • Observer

      Such an obvious lie. You know you couldn't even make it past Junior High, Dicky4!

      May 29, 2012 at 11:49 am | Report abuse |
  19. BERNADETTE

    I enjoy Emily as Batchelorette, after last season's Ben and Courney, the bar is quite low. But Emily seems like a class-act. remember Brad saying on the after-show, "Yes, 'little Emily'..." about her spunk – can't wait to see more. Go Emily,

    May 29, 2012 at 11:31 am | Report abuse |
  20. babieeeeeeeee

    Do ppl really watch this show ?

    May 29, 2012 at 11:28 am | Report abuse |

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