"Dancing with the Stars" saw double on Monday night, with the six remaining teams each doing a pair of routines. (All that talk of "two" gave me a hankering for some Doublemint gum.)
Donald Driver was the first celebrity up, and he performed a tango with Peta "Heavens To" Murgatroyd. He joked that it only takes two to tango but it takes three "10s" to win the Mirrorball Trophy. Actually, Donald, it takes a number of perfect scores over the next three weeks plus viewer votes to win this thing, but who's adding?
When the dance was on, Donald looked sharp, poised and confident on the dance floor, but let's see what the judges thought...
Len Goodman said Donald set a high standard for the show, while Bruno Tonioli called the routine "first class." Carrie Ann Inaba urged Donald to show her "additional drama" in future routines, prompting looks of confusion from the other judges.
Before the scores were revealed, co-host Brooke Burke Charvet said Donald gave Peta the "license" to challenge him. Didn't Len give Peta the license to challenge Donald a few weeks ago? Who's in charge of the "Dancing" DMV?
Donald Driver: 27/30 (All 9s)
Maria Menounos was up next, and she hoped to repeat her success from last week when she garnered the first perfect score of the season.
Tackling the waltz, the routine brought out Maria's sensuality and sensitivity, as well as a smoke machine. It was a departure from the fairly aggressive paso doble from last week, but it proved that Maria can handle a variety of styles with ease.
Bruno called the routine "amazing," but Len said Maria missed a "great chance" by not dancing in hold more. That comment led to co-host Tom Bergeron requesting that Len get an eye exam. Len must go to my preferred eye doctor practice - the offices of Drs. Dewey, Cheatem and Howe.
Before the scores were announced, pro partner Derek Hough admitted that he was a bit of a jerk toward Maria during practice. Brooke thanked him for letting his feelings out - I'm surprised she didn't give Derek a hug and a cookie as well.
Maria Menounos: 28/30 (Carrie Ann Inaba 10, Len Goodman 8, Bruno Tonioli 10)
Melissa Gilbert was up next, and pro partner Maksim "Mr. Warmth" Chmerkovskiy spent most of their practice time threatening to punch walls, swearing up a storm and accusing the actress of making him look like a "terrorist."
Note to Maks: Please buy a dictionary or thesaurus and find better words to use than "terrorist."
The pair's foxtrot was upbeat and enthusiastic, but there were times when Melissa's footwork looked off. Maks didn't look too enthused post-performance, but Carrie Ann called Melissa's routine her best of the season. Len, however, warned that there were "one or two incidents" that hurt her.
Before the scores, Maks apologized for being a jerk to Melissa. Is Brooke training to be the next Oprah, or is ABC contemplating a "DWTS" spinoff where the pro dancers go to therapy?
Melissa Gilbert: 24/30 (All 8s)
Katherine Jenkins was ready to go "all in" with her Viennese waltz, but the routine showed signs that she forgot to ante up, particularly one moment where she appeared to lose her balance. Nevertheless, the singer looked sensual, sophisticated and savvy on the dance floor.
Unfortunately, the judges noticed the misstep and called her out on it, leading to plenty of catcalls from the audience.
Katherine Jenkins: 26/30 (Inaba 8, Goodman 9, Tonioli 9)
Roshon Fegan took the floor next, looking to bounce back from two consecutive "Dance Duel" appearances. His foxtrot with pro partner Chelsie Hightower was upbeat and to the point, but his footwork can be a bit "paint by numbers" at times. Maybe it's just me.
Bruno compared Roshon's routine to a "young Mickey Rooney" - was that before or after "Sugar Babies"? - while Carrie Ann said Roshon made the judges proud.
Roshon Fegan: 29/30 (Inaba 10, Goodman 9, Tonioli 10)
William Levy was the final celebrity up for the first round of the competition, and his foxtrot with pro partner Cheryl Burke was quite smooth and elegant, delighting the ladies in the crowd.
Carrie Ann called the routine a "super hot, sexy Pink Panther," making me wonder what's in her drink. Bruno said William couldn't be more suave and debonair if he tried, which I think is a compliment.
William Levy: 30/30 (All 10s)
Then everyone performed in the first-ever "trio round," where teams had to choose an eliminated pro or member of the show's dance troupe to join them for a routine.
Donald and Peta teamed with Karina Smirnoff for a three-way jive that began with the NFL star picking a song from the jukebox. He went with a tune from "DWTS" conductor Harold Wheeler, but I noticed that a Lawrence Welk track was also available for play.
Given Maestro Welk's musical tastes and disdain for what he called "female cheesecake," the show missed a golden opportunity of people dancing in hoop skirts to a World War I ditty.
Carrie Ann said she "loved the three-way," prompting numerous complaints to the Parents Television Council.
Donald Driver: 28/30 (Inaba 10, Goodman 9, Tonioli 9); 55/60 overall
Maria and Derek tapped troupe member Henry Byalikov for a samba. After Derek and Henry had an "ab off," Derek proposed the dance be a tribute to Bollywood for their routine, which could either be really good or incredibly weird.
The performance ended up being a bit unusual, but in a good way. Was it entertaining and enthusiastic? Yes. Was it a samba? Absolutely not.
Bruno said the dance was quite creative, but noted timing issues. Len was more direct, accusing the trio of "false advertising" for not performing a samba. Len may need a nap.
Maria Menounous: 25/30 (Inaba 9, Goodman 7, Tonioli 9); 53/60 overall
Maks called on brother Val to assist Melissa with their trio routine, garnering much approval from the ladies in the audience. The brothers made Melissa look strong with an exciting, energetic routine that reminded me of an '80s music video.
Carrie Ann enjoyed the "Chmerkovskiy sandwich," and praised Melissa for her best performance yet. Unlike the last dance, Maks looked like he was having a good time. Is Val the yin to Maks' yang?
Melissa Gilbert: 27/30 (All 9s); 51/60 total
Katherine and Mark recruited Tristan MacManus for the cha-cha, and the dance was so bright for the men they had to wear shades for the first part of the routine.
Katherine successfully managed to overcome a G-rated wardrobe malfunction (her tearaway pants took time to tear away, if you get my drift) to perform an entertaining routine.
Len called the routine "clean, clear and clever," while Bruno said the dance was "absolutely wonderful."
Katherine Jenkins: 29/30 (Inaba 10, Goodman 9, Tonioli 10); 55/60 overall
Roshon and Chelsie tapped troupe member Sasha Farber to perform a "masculine" paso doble. The Disney star continued his winning ways with an aggressive, passionate paso, but there didn't seem to be much "trio" work compared to the other teams.
Bruno and Carrie Ann expressed concern that the trio wasn't in sync at times, while Len praised the routine by comparing it to French fries. Maybe this show needs a writer to help with judicial quips.
Roshon Fegan: 27/30 (All 9s); 56/60 overall
William and Cheryl recruited Tony Dovolani for a paso doble that paid tribute to Zorro. The women in the audience, as expected, went wild for William, who rocked the Zorro mask.
Len said the routine was "fabulous," while Bruno noted that he "couldn't ask for more" with the dance.
William Levy: 27/30 (All 9s); 57/60 overall
On tonight's show, two celebrities will be eliminated and there will be a tribute to Dick Clark.
What'd you think of the doubled-up competition? Who are you hoping is sent home?
And in honor of Teacher Appreciation Week, click on the above video to watch some "Dancing" celebrities and pros talk about their favorite and most inspirational teachers.
DWTS has to be the most idiotic show on television.
Any man that's watches this show has to have some issues. look at observer
You guys watch it for the women? Ooooh how manly of you. With what-a bottle of Jergens and box of Kleenex? Um, yes that is g@y, sorry. Grow a pair and go find and be with a woman. Not just watch TV. You watch Deparate Housewives too? Maybe you watch football and pray for the occasional cheerleader shot? And you think this is manly, eh. Are you like 12?
You have to watch it on tv bc that's as close as you can get to any woman that looks like that.
Stupid mindless g@y dancing TV show.
Nothing g@y about watching hot women dance in skimpy outfits. You sure you're watching the right show? Or maybe you just paid attention to the males... whatever floats your boat buddy.
Too bad. It's live you know and last week Chelsie Hightower had a wardrobe malfunction. Yeah, it's so g a y that Driver, Hines Ward, Floyd Mayweather and Jerry Rice have been on it.
Look guys, I didn't mean to insult you. Nothing wrong with being G@Y. And if you 2 want to stay in the closet about it, fine. But maybe you 2 would make a good couple. Enjoy and celebrate your g@yness by watching dwts together. -CK
So true! The judges say nothing is wrong with Donald's dance and then pick apart other stars but give Donald and the other stars the same scores! Ridiculous!
I can't stand the GB Packers but even I can see that Driver is being underscored.
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