May 2nd, 2012
12:36 PM ET
On the latest "New Girl," Jess was struggling with her breakup with Russell, worried that she was going to "end up alone... a single, old lady flashing people on the subway.”
But she finally snapped out of it and went with CeCe and the roommates to the bar. Schmidt took Jess’ phone so she couldn't “backslide” and call Russell.
Jess stole her phone back from Schmidt anyway, and, well...she backslid.
But it wasn’t with Russell, it was with Paul. (Remember him? Justin Long’s character.)
“Now I know what Bill Clinton feels like!" Paul exclaimed to Jess. "I’m sorry I made you feel like Monica Lewinsky!"
The next day, Paul told Jess that he has a girlfriend as he proceeded to do the ugly cry. (They showed a montage of his ugly cries…they’re hideous.) Paul’s girlfriend walked in on that conversation, and according to Jess, she looked like “an Asian Jess," which was quite accurate. She was dressed like Jess, had the bangs, the glasses, and her name was Jen. Guys are creepy like that...
Nevertheless, Jess helped him propose to her. It was pretty awkward, but she said “yes.”
A certain part of Schmidt's anatomy was still broken, so CeCe was walking around in loose clothes trying to keep Schmidt from getting aroused. That didn't work (this is Schmidt, remember?), until he went with CeCe to see her grandma in an assisted living home.
(This would be because “old people freak me out…with their hands and their legs…they’re like giant walking raisins," as Schmidt said. Or, it could be because CeCe's grandmother told him, “If you hurt her, I will let myself die…and I will haunt you!" That would be a turnoff for anyone, no?)
While visiting the assisted living facility, Schmidt talked to an older couple who'd been together for 61 years. He was amazed at how old the people were - according to him, they were like “real live Yodas." So, he asked them how to build a relationship, and how a guy like him has a chance to make someone like CeCe happy.
CeCe overheard her grandma telling Schmidt that he’s “exactly what she needs," and CeCe then professed her feelings to Schmidt. They both decided they want to build something that lasts with each other, which was so cute ... until Schmidt started yelling out in pain and scaring the old people.
Schmidt and CeCe weren't the only couple taking the next step: Caroline suggested that she and Nick get an apartment together.
After Nick told Winston about it, Winston made some bird sounds which signaled Schmidt. They had an intervention ready to go, and showed him the video that he made after Caroline dumped him the last time.
In said video, Nick looked like a caveman, with a lot of hair and a gross beard. He also had a jar of his tears, and told future Nick not to get back with Caroline.
He even wrote a poem about Caroline and gave it to Schmidt for safe keeping. The poem read: “Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? No, a summer’s day is not a b****.” I can tell that poem took some time and deep thought.
But time heals all wounds afflicted by Caroline, apparently, as Nick said, “Did Caroline physically, mentally and emotionally abuse me for years? Yes! But she changed! It’s about timing, and the first time around we weren’t ready to work at it, and now we are…"
In the end, Nick told Jess that he’s going to move in with Caroline.
The season finale is next week, and I can’t wait to see how things are going to wrap up. Winston's storyline has been so boring - this episode, he let his boss pierce his ear and then proceeded to wear the strangest earrings - so I'm hoping the writers will throw him a subplot.
What'd you think of last night's episode? Think Nick will actually move in with Caroline?
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