April 6th, 2012
12:12 PM ET
One of the things that makes “30 Rock” consistently excellent is its deep bench of wacky supporting characters.
On last night’s episode, Liz and Jack took a back seat to the writing staff and the most under-appreciated character of all: Pete Hornberger. And in typical Hornberger fashion, his moment in the sun was actually a descent into a black hole of self-loathing.
Pete’s self-evaluation gave Jack pause (“those look like hands to me!”) when he wrote that his 5-year goal was to stay in the same position.
Pete tried to explain that holding steady would actually be an accomplishment for him after a two-decade free fall. “My father was a congressman. I was valedictorian at St. Andrews, an Olympic archer, fourth guitarist in Loverboy as a teenager.”
Undeterred, Jack told Pete he reminded him of “George W. Bush during his ‘let’s do coke and buy the Texas Rangers phase.’” So Jack took him to the New York Racquet Club to teach him how to be a man, but Pete promptly submitted to the strength of the alpha dummy.
On her self-evaluation, Jenna got a little too real because she “filled it out last night after mixing alcohol with prescription…exhaustion.”
The writers started a prank war with her, so she turned to Kenneth for help. He showed her where all the secrets were hidden—in the garbage.
Jenna found Toofer’s sexy boudoir photos and evidence that Frank attended a Taylor Swift concert. They told her she needed to embarrass Lutz too, or he’d feel left out.
After all, he was very upset about his estrangement from his son, Kellan Lutz from "Twilight."
But burn notice alert - the writers got Jenna again! Lutz explained, “it’s all made up Jenna. Kellan Lutz isn’t my son. He’s my grand-nephew and we’re very close.”
Fortunately, being double-crossed was exactly what Jenna needed. “On my self-evaluation, I said I’m the worst person I know. But it’s not true. Thanks to you guys, I’m the fourth worst!”
Things didn’t work out so well for Pete. Despite his best efforts, Jack only made his life worse. With his swastika/penis birthmark not-so-proudly displayed, Pete demanded, “do you know what it’s like trying to have sex wearing a child’s orphan Annie wig?”
At least Pete got in touch with the hot burning rage bubbling just underneath his thinning hair. I for one would love to watch Hornberger stay consistently miserable and chronically overlooked for 5 more years. Though I hope his hair grows back soon. No one rocks the bald-only-on-top look like Hornberger.
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