April 4th, 2012
11:56 AM ET
It finally happened: Jess found out about Cece and Schmidt sleeping together!
Winston couldn't take the pressure of knowing about Cece and Schmidt and he had to tell someone, so he told Nick: "I saw something a few days ago. I've been sworn to secrecy, but it is just too big."
Then Nick spilled the beans to Jess in literally less than a minute. Way to go, Nick.
Schmidt, meanwhile, wanted a moment to celebrate: "Schmidty really did it this time. I mean, I'm having Indian every night."
Jess wasn't in the mood for celebrating though - more like freaking out. When she asked Cece and Schmidt about when they started having sex, Schmidt gave such a "Schmidty" answer: "1:03 a.m., February 15. Right.on.schedule."
Cece could only explain it as "something that happened and then it got out of control. It was sort of like poison oak, and I just couldn't stop scratching it."
But Jess was mainly upset because Cece kept a secret from her. She then tries to eliminate all of the lies and secrets in the apartment, but decides that wasn't a good idea after she finds out all three of the guys have thought about her when they...shall we say, make love to themselves.
I thought it was very adorkable of her to think they didn't fantasize about her. I mean seriously, three guys and one girl? Of course their thoughts get dirty.
"Schmidt has been having consensual sex with Cece and lying about it. He's better than us at this - Winston and I hate it as much as you do!" Nick tells her.
Speaking of Nick, he was having more trouble than Cece keeping secrets: He's acquired a new hobby of sleeping with 20-something college girls, and he's not very good at juggling multiple women. So he did something that proved how desperate he was. He asked Schmidt for help: "Schmidt, I need you to teach me how to be a douche bag."
Schmidt and Nick then begin a series of role-playing exercises, which became more and more awkward. Especially when they ended up in bed together and Schmidt was telling Nick how good he gave it to him the night before and how he gave him "the full business."
Despite how weird it was to see Schmidt give someone advice, it worked. Nick was successful at being a douchebag in the end. If anyone can teach someone to be a douchebag, Schmidt can. He's basically made a profession out of it. (Remember the douchebag jar?)
Cece tells Jess that she stopped spilling her secrets because she's judgmental, but Jess later realizes that the real reason Cece didn't want to tell her about Schmidt was because she actually likes him. Cece admitted that she likes Schmidt, and made Jess swear to keep it a secret.
"New Girl" has been getting better and better to me, and I really like the way the story lines are unfolding. The writing seems to be getting more hilarious every week. It's taken a while, but I can officially say I'm hooked!
About this blog
Our daily cheat-sheet for breaking celebrity news, Hollywood buzz and your pop-culture obsessions.