March 21st, 2012
04:54 PM ET
Nick's credit score is so low he can't buy a cell phone, Winston is jealous of Schmidt's intelligence (strange, but true), and a real grown-up man falls for Jess.
When Schmidt, Winston, and Winston's lady friend go to trivia night, Schmidt proves he actually has a brain. According to Winston's lady friend, he's the "Michael Jordan of trivia. ... He's like a trivia God!" Naturally, Winston gets jealous and (unsuccessfully) tries to cheat at trivia.
His lady friend reassures him: "I don't want some smart, ripped guy, who owns his own car; I want to be with you." After hearing that romantic statement, Winston's lady friend officially becomes his girlfriend. While they're sealing the deal with a kiss, Schmidt offers his commentary:
"Be careful with his mustache please, it's very delicate. ... I can't watch this anymore, Winston I hope you're better in bed because your street work is embarrassing. ... If this was my grandmother's building, she'd be outside on the patio saying 'the two of you are a beautiful couple and I'm glad you found one another,' but she wouldn't invite you up because she's a horrible racist. ... You want me to put on some Jodeci?" Oh Schmidt.
Jess' creative approach to education is criticized by the father of one of her students (aka "Fancyman"). Jess disagrees with Fancyman's approach, but since he's very rich and donates a lot of money, her principal wants her to apologize to him.
(Fancyman is played by Dermot Mulroney. He was Julia Roberts' best friend in "My Best Friend's Wedding," and Debra Messing's love interest/escort in "The Wedding Date." If you still can't put a face to the name, Google him. He's quite handsome.)
OK, back to "New Girl":
"You have the credit score of a homeless ghost. You weigh more than your credit score." -Winston to Nick.
After Nick's extremely low credit score is revealed, we find out about his hatred of rich people. "We are right where (rich people) want us. Suckling on the teet of consumerism!" -Nick
When Jess is driving to Fancyman's office to apologize, her car stalls. So, of course, Fancyman offers Jess his car so she doesn't have to wait for a tow truck. (Do people really do that??)
"I'm only attracted to guys who are afraid of success and think someone famous stole their idea; I like an underdog." -Jess
CeCe tells Jess she shouldn't be intimidated by the fact that Fancyman likes her, and that he could take care of her.
When Jess takes Nick with her to return Fancyman's car, Nick falls in love... with Fancyman... and his office. "When I put my hands on this desk, I feel sexually proficient for the first time in my life. It smells like leather, and Teddy Roosevelt, and wistfulness." -Nick
Later, Fancyman rescues Jess from his Japanese bidet. Mortified, Jess attempts to leave, but Nick won't let her.
So, Jess marches back inside and tells Fancyman that he scares her. He then asks her out. She says yes.
It's not looking like Jess and Nick will get together anytime soon, but we'll see.
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