March 19th, 2012
04:11 PM ET
The intro to Sunday's "Eastbound & Down" took me back to my junior high school heyday. You know, when you and a friend would go into a local gift shop and steal everything in sight for the mere rush of saying you did.
OK, so maybe that’s just me - and apparently KP’s dad. He and KP’s mentally challenged brother, Casper, open our show with a heist to remember.
Over in Myrtle Beach, KP drops in on his girlfriend Andrea and her friends having a dorm room get together. “We’re not kids anymore, we’re in college!” she proclaims as he apologizes for the whole "Shane back from the dead" joke that didn’t go over so well. It’s time to grow up, and you wonder if KP ever will.
On the field, Ivan is slowly becoming the Big Man in Myrtle Beach, and KP can’t even find a seat at the lunch table. So when he plans a Fourth of July rager, everyone is invited...except the Russian of course.
But Ivan isn't worried, because he's now a “top DJ” and is throwing his own party under the moniker DJ Blu Ray. DJ Blu Ray/Ivan is setting the streets on fire, and KP is losing his grip on the Mermen.
Seeing that KP has a party to organize, he and Stevie meet with the planner on the beach, but Stevie’s been off his game ever since he slept with Shane’s mourning sister. “There are much bigger things at stake here than your marriage,” KP tells him.
Still, Ivan’s growing popularity and eventual takeover as the “alpha wolf”of the proverbial pack seems inevitable.
On top of that, Poppa Powers confronts KP in the stadium parking lot. Pops wants to reconnect with KP’s mom since he’s fallen on tough times, but KP tells him he's not interested.
But Poppa KP and Casper are persistent, showing up at KP’s “beachfront villa.” They talk KP into letting Casper inside to take a number one or number two – not clear – where he discovers Toby. Immediately Poppa Powers’ is psyched about the idea of being a grandfather. KP? Not so much.
When it’s time to party, KP comes home to find Maria and Stevie gone and nobody to watch Toby. Stevie's guilt causes him to tell Maria, and she storms out with Stevie chasing after her.
As only KP could, he sees the end of his best friend’s marriage as signifying more problems for his awesomeness. “EVERYONE WAS SUPPOSED TO LIKE ME AFTER TONIGHT,” he pleads before burrowing his head between couch cushions.
Poppa Powers winds up agreeing to watch Toby so KP can party, and for a moment it felt like an episode of “Teen Mom.” When KP heads over to his party, the only folks there are the people paid to be there.
Also dealing with the agony of defeat is Stevie, who comes back to KP’s where he heads to the bathroom and grabs a razor blade. And we go into that dark, odd world from season 2 - or at least we think so.
KP senses his party is done and heads over to Ivan’s shindig. In the battle of Uncle Sam takes on The Russian It Boy, KP swipes the mic from Ivan, but then he sees Andrea in the crowd and realizes his loss.
Security comes to remove KP but he falls instead, and once again everyone and their mother is laughing at him. Ivan gives a loud, “F Kenny Powers,” and the show rages on, but not until KP lets off fireworks and wreaks havoc, subsequently ending the party.
KP returns home with Casper and drops the line we’ve all either felt or said at some point in adulthood, “I feel like my life’s become Requiem for a Dream.”
Pops considers KP handing Toby off to Momma Powers, and the scene then shifts to a bowling alley where Momma Powers - a.k.a. Lily Tomlin - takes a call from her son, forcing her to go gutter ball.
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