March 14th, 2012
03:02 PM ET
Schmidt is a special breed of man.
For example, the things that set Schmidt off: When Non-Tahitian vanilla is in the same vicinity as his Tahitian vanilla; the ocean (aka a “giant fish toilet”); when Nick calls a panini a hot sandwich; going into the ocean without his aqua socks; and all things junky and disorganized.
So he naturally freaked out when Jess brought home some furniture she got off the street. (It made him "emotionally nauseous.")
Schmidt blames his craziness on the one person everyone blames their craziness on…his mom. In his defense, he explained that he comes from a Jewish family and his mom told him that the reason Santa Claus never came to their house was because his room wasn’t clean.
But of course, Jess and a day at the beach were able to change Schmidt. (Surprise, surprise.) He walked into the ocean without his aqua socks, washed his hands in a public restroom and took up a new hobby of playing a bongo drum.
On a different note, Nick owes Winston $487, and since Nick wasn’t acknowledging it, Winston wrote him a letter. It ended with, “I want that money. Give me my money. I really mean it. It’s my money. You owe me that money. So give me my money. Seriously, where is the money dude?”
I had no idea Winston was so poetic with his words.
Winston agrees to reduce the amount to $200, but Nick tries to make it lower. A new game is pretty much started when they try to calculate the monetary value of things like: Winston listening to Nick whine about his ex, and when Winston saw Nick’s mom naked in 8th grade (which apparently scarred Nick permanently).
Winston and Nick’s money issues reach an all-time high in the grocery store when Winston starts talking about Nick’s mom’s boobs. I have to say, that was a low blow. They end up having a physical altercation!
Well, not really. They started slapping each other…in the face. Funny, and very awkward to watch. In true "New Girl" fashion, they ultimately resolved their problems.
According to Nick, “Being friends with Schmidt is really complicated… you wanna change him so badly but you can’t. Cause he’ll just get worst.”
Also worse for the wear was the apartment, because Schmidt’s anal ways kept their household functioning, and clean. Jess soon realized that she upset the ecosystem.
After an intervention, with Nick giving Schmidt permission to clean his room and Schmidt receiving a brand new pair of gray Calvin Klein pants, our "special man" goes back to his obsessive compulsive behavior.
The episode ended with CeCe breaking in to get some of “Hector J” (Schmidt’s man part). Thanks to Jess, he’s finally able to accept not having control over things, including his relationship with CeCe.
The overwhelming consensus of last night’s episode according to Twitter was…how strangely awesome Schmidt is. I agree!
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