'30 Rock': A love like meatballs

On this week’s "30 Rock," Frank’s mother Sylvia (Patti LuPone) disapproved of his former teacher and girlfriend Lynn (Susan Sarandon).

So he told her he was dating Liz, who said, “I can’t be your girlfriend because I’m not an old pedophile.” (Lynn protested, “we prefer adultaphobe.”)

But Frank couldn’t take the stress, so he broke up with Lynn and claimed he was happy.

In the writer’s room, someone drank Pete’s birthday scotch. Tracy and Jenna decided to investigate, relying on prior acting experience. Said Jenna, “I played Alexis Goodlooking. Who was also good looking. And my special ability was being good at looking for clues.”

Tracy used skills he learned playing “a wise black fellow.” (“I don’t know much about worldly things like taco meat and having all your fingers…I’ll tell you what I do know. This movie was written by white nerds.”)

Lutz confessed that the writers stole Pete’s booze to avoid hanging out with him. “He’s got one story, and it’s about him seeing Phil Donahue at the mall.”

Instead of telling Pete the truth, Jenna and Tracy blackmailed the writers, who’d been expensing personal items (including “a porn version of ‘Temple Grandin’ entitled ‘Ten Poles Rammed In’”).

Meanwhile, Jack got Kenneth a new job in Standards and Practices. But when he swung by to say, “we can no longer use the words hit, great show, fun, or broadcast television,” he realized junior compliance associate Bradley was targeting Kenneth.

After reuniting with his own first nemesis (Stanley Tucci), Jack found Kenneth before he could take Bradley down with evidence that he was four credits shy of his degree in “Bro Studies.”

“You can’t destroy Bradley you innocent goon. You’re the most incredible person I know. And I’ve met Jaleel White. Incredibly charismatic. He makes Stefan Urkel look like Steve Urkel.”

Back in her office, Liz realized there was an extra ingredient in Frank’s meatballs. She had a flashback: “'P.S. I Love You' is so sad. No one should have to be married to Gerard Butler. Or Hilary Swank!” The ingredient was tears!

Liz explained to Sylvia that “Lynn and Frank are just as good as your meatballs.” Her speech worked - but got her kicked out of her own office.

What was your favorite line from last night’s episode?