February 14th, 2012
03:06 PM ET
"The Bachelor" continued its tour of FIFA's CONCACAF region last night with a stop in Belize. This is a "crucial" week, one of the six remaining contestants notes, as Ben must eliminate two women in preparation for next week's "hometown" dates.
This week, there will be three "intimate" one-on-one dates with no roses on the line, as well as a group date where one of the three women on it will advance to next week.
The first one-on-one goes to Lindzi the horse lady, with the clue being, "two halves make a whole." I presume they'll spend their day putting bagels or English muffins together.
Meanwhile, Nicki, the dental hygienist who cries in every episode, cries about Lindzi getting the first "intimate" date.
It's date time, and Ben is wearing one ugly outfit. Seriously, he looks like he's in his summer pajamas. He also has a haircut that my wife got last week, and the Mrs. wears it 50 times better.
After the proverbial helicopter tour of Belize, Ben and Lindzi reach a body of water called "The Blue Hole," where Ben proposes they jump out of the helicopter and dive into the water below. Lindzi appears scared out of her wits about this, but does Ben opt to turn the 'copter around and, say, go shopping? Since this is "The Bachelor," Ben merely gives Lindzi a smooch and the two take the plunge.
Later that night, Ben notes that if he and Lindzi keep going "on this path," it's "great." I've looked at that several times, and I still don't know what that means.
Emily the epidemiologist gets the next "intimate" date, and she's excited. She's not sure what she's doing on her date, and she may not know what or where Belize is, but she's still excited. The clue on her date card read "Do you Belize in love?" I'm guessing they'll be checking out the world's worst Huey Lewis and the News tribute band.
As usual, I'm wrong, and the dynamic duo instead promote the Belize tourism board by visiting a variety of local merchants. Ben and Emily buy coconuts, play basketball, go dancing and apparently flirt with a fisherman to go lobster diving for their dinner. Whatever happened to just going to a seafood restaurant where they have lobster tanks?
The two have dinner, where Ben notes their date reminded him of San Francisco, only without cable cars and "Too Close for Comfort" references. Emily says she and Ben lost some time due to her feud with Courtney, but now she's able to focus everything on Ben.
Speaking of Courtney, she has spent the first part of the show sulking about whether she's going to get a one-on-one-date, as she hasn't had one in weeks. She threatened to walk away from the show and reject a rose if she has to go on another group date. As usual, the other women complain about Courtney complaining. Nevertheless, the model got her wish, as she'll be going on the third and final "intimate" date.
Ben takes Courtney to a Mayan temple, and the model seems excited that human sacrifices may have occurred there. I actually agree with Courtney - a human sacrifice would help this show overtake "The Voice" in the ratings.
Alas, Courtney complains about everything during what appeared to be an eight-hour climb up the temple. She whined about Ben, the other women, the economy and the like.
But have no fear, as Ben is there to tell Courtney that he's always liked her, complimenting her for "hanging on" all these weeks. Ben praises Courtney for standing out on the group dates and for being a tad "weird." (Note to Ben: This is a classy show, so the word you're thinking of is "eccentric.")
Ben says he's eager to meet Courtney's family, and I am too. I always thought Courtney was a mad scientist's experiment involving the DNA of Katie Holmes and Brooke Shields.
I should also note that Ben once again made no effort to dress himself for his dinner date with Courtney. To her credit, Courtney wore a nice, summery dress that one could see her wearing to a fancy eatery or an outdoor philharmonic performance. Ben, on the other hand, is wearing a plaid shirt and khakis combo that screams "Saturday afternoon at the hardware store."
When it's group date time, Ben uses this opportunity to break into the ladies' suite and wake up Rachel, Kacie and Nicki to go shark diving.
Ben opts to give Kacie the rose, while the three warn Ben to "tread lightly" with Courtney, saying she may not be on the show for the right reasons. This leads to Ben asking Courtney for a private chat before the rose ceremony to answer the allegations against her. Courtney merely says that the two of them will be happy together, adding that she's always been "honest and open" with him.
We finally get to the rose ceremony, and Emily and Rachel get the boot. That means Courtney, Kacie, Lindzi and Nicki get the hometown dates.
Next week, it's hometown date time.
What did you think of last night's "Bachelor" episode?
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