'New Girl' and the threesome that wasn't
February 8th, 2012
03:21 PM ET

'New Girl' and the threesome that wasn't

Between Nick and Jess almost getting it on and Schmidt getting pinned in a parking deck for appearing to assault his boss, "New Girl" was quite amusing last night, despite a lack of plot development.

To start things off, Jess “out-crazed a man with a gun” when the man almost collided with Nick while trying to steal his parking spot. That brings up the discussion of Nick's negative outlook.

When Jess wants to call the landlord to fix some of the things in their apartment and Nick is adamant about her not calling the landlord, Jess chalks it up to him being such a Debbie downer.

She realizes that’s not the case when she goes to the cave-like office of the landlord…with cupcakes in hand, of course. When she asks him to repair some things, he says no.

Jess continued to plead her case and reveals to the landlord that four people are living in their unit, when apparently only three people are allowed to live there.

When the landlord comes knocking on the door, the roommates perform a well rehearsed “make it look like only three people live here” routine.

The landlord comes in, inspects and realizes four people live there but says it’s fine. As he’s leaving, Jess asks him again if he could repair some things and he agrees.

While Remy (the tattoo on his arm said “Hello my name is Remy,” so Jess took an educated guess) is fixing things, he and Jess have a heart to heart conversation.

Nick happens to walk in on the landlord helping Jess do something…from behind. It looked pretty dirty, so Nick tries to convince Jess that Remy wants to sleep with her. Jess accuses him of always seeing the worst in people. Nick responds with, “Yeah, because people are the worst!”

So when Jess invites Remy over for dinner to thank him for fixing stuff around the apartment, Nick joins in to "protect" Jess.

While all of that is going on, Schmidt is trying to figure out how to put the moves on his boss, whom he thinks wants him. He's so sure of this because she says oh-so-naughty things to him like, “Tokyo call at 11, and bring me the budget reports,” and, “I need you to cleanup my hard drive.” Hot, right?

As Schmidt explains to Ci Ci, he and his boss are “running a pre-sex marathon” and they’re “stuck on mile twenty-five.”

That's not all: “I’m cramping…my toenails are falling off and I’m peeing down my leg," he says. Ci Ci advises him to stop asking permission and to go for it. Apparently, to Ci Ci, there’s nothing less sexy than a guy asking if he can kiss you.

Schmidt’s response: “Nothing? I mean, what if I ate my own hair and pooped out a wig? What if I called my mom after sex to describe it to her? What if I had a croissant blog?” I must admit he made valid points…in typical Schmidt fashion.

So Schmidt decides to take a risk and approach his boss…in the parking deck after setting off a car alarm. To my surprise, his boss actually did want him to make a move. Unfortunately, the security officers watching the parking deck’s surveillance camera thought Schmidt was attacking her. So almost immediately, Schmidt is pinned to the ground.

At dinner, Remy thinks Jess and Nick want to have a threesome. Nick goes along with it because he wants Jess to admit she was wrong. Remy wants Nick and Jess to get it started, and when Nick leans in to kiss her she admits she’s wrong. So they almost hooked up, but it didn’t happen…yet.

Schmidt apologizes to his boss. She tells him to go into the conference room and dial her into the Tokyo call. Schmidt goes into the conference room ad dials into Tokyo call, and takes off everything but his underwear and socks. The episode ends with a room full of Japanese men looking at Schmidt pose in his underwear on a table in the conference room. Oh Schmidt.


soundoff (17 Responses)
  1. saopaco

    What is this, a book report?

    February 23, 2012 at 1:48 pm | Report abuse |
  2. Really?

    Does CNN actually pay this person to write these crappy, pedestrian re-caps of television shows??

    February 16, 2012 at 11:55 am | Report abuse |
    • tina

      Agreed. I could easily write a recap that is far more entertaining and informative than this one.

      February 27, 2012 at 1:43 pm | Report abuse |
  3. Cionna

    You people are all morons.

    February 15, 2012 at 12:56 pm | Report abuse |
  4. Kris

    I want the 15 seconds of my life it took to read this pointless article back.

    February 15, 2012 at 8:15 am | Report abuse |
  5. Jowl

    Its hard to take that Schmidt guy seriously because he's been the gay guy in a couple other shows & shares kisses with men.

    February 11, 2012 at 1:28 am | Report abuse |
  6. JanicefromBayRidge

    In response to the Marquee Blog post on New Girl (sorry if that's off-topic) I thought the episode was hilarious. The chemistry between Jake Johnson and Zoey Deschanel is pitch-perfect. When Remy started rubbing Nick's head and his eyes almost popped out of his head during his silent plea/fight with Jess, I thought I would cry laughing. The cast is really coming together. Great episode.

    February 8, 2012 at 9:15 pm | Report abuse |
    • Tina

      JanicefromBayRidge: I could not agree more. Nick's eyes were open so far and looking at her like "you better admit you are wrong NOW" was a riot. Captain of the underpants. That whole episode was a riot. I have to say I thoroughly enjoy this show. This is one of the rare sitcoms that actually makes me laugh out loud. I was sick during that episode, so every laugh was followed by a coughing fit but it was so worth it.

      February 27, 2012 at 1:42 pm | Report abuse |
  7. Aunt Peg

    Last week it was tattooes. Two weeks ago it was Mormons. This week it is Liberal. What's going to be the word of the week next week. Are these new words you are learning in Social Studies, kid?

    February 8, 2012 at 5:14 pm | Report abuse |
  8. Observer

    Liberal.
    Garbage.

    February 8, 2012 at 5:09 pm | Report abuse |
  9. TYREE

    This is a good shoe for white peoples to watch. They like Harry Potter too. And clap at movie screens like the people up there can hear em. White people just be so silly.

    February 8, 2012 at 4:54 pm | Report abuse |
  10. Richard Fore

    I would love that, someone could lick my taint while I lick my balls.

    February 8, 2012 at 4:06 pm | Report abuse |
  11. HOLY CRAP!

    LoJenk = Aunt Peg!

    I knew that ska-nk was familar!

    February 8, 2012 at 3:33 pm | Report abuse |
  12. LoJenk

    [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W6wC8EmRoZw&w=640&h=390]

    February 8, 2012 at 3:29 pm | Report abuse |
  13. Aunt Pig

    I think Sly Sadie, Richard Fore and Coolbreeze should have a three-some.

    February 8, 2012 at 3:28 pm | Report abuse |

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