February 3rd, 2012
11:00 AM ET
On this week’s "30 Rock," everyone was negotiating something, whether it was their contract, their career, or their emotions.
Liz had to renegotiate her contract, and her list of demands included a real hospital bed in her office. “The catchphrase 'This smells'? I wrote that. And when 20 cult members jump off a bridge together wearing ‘This Smells’ T-shirts, I should get a cut of that sale.”
Studying up to face off with Jack, Liz found the perfect weapon: His old negotiation seminar from Boca 2002!
Liz followed all of Jack’s tips, if a little too closely (except when she started her emergency phone call, “Yes may I please speak to pizza?"), and he realized she had found his tapes.
Excited by the prospect of negotiating with himself, he met Liz on her home turf - the ice cream store - where he had already set up his own furniture and Jack Welch power pillow.
Jack took matters into his own hands and negotiated with himself as Kabletown Jack and Lemon Jack - and Lemon Jack won!
In the end, Jack realized that Liz beat him because he didn’t know that emotion could be a weapon. Liz was stunned. “Have you not read the poetry of Jewel?”
Instead of negotiation, Tracy and Jenna's accountant relied on blackmail to get them to perform at his son Adam's bar mitzvah when he couldn't book their nemesis, Gina Gershon.
After they were booed offstage, they realized that Adam was acting out because he wasn’t emotionally mature - just like them! (Tracy: "But he’s not famous. Why is the government allowing this?”)
Meanwhile, Kenneth was feeling unappreciated after his brief absence. So he swapped assignments with Hazel (guest star Kristen Schaal!). But Suze Orman told him that he needed to quit the Page Program.
Kenneth did return, but not before Pete reached the final straw. “I have to write a 40-word exit evaluation of Kenneth! I wish I was dead!”
A newly honest Tracy told Kenneth he should pursue a better job. So he marched into Jack’s office and announced his ambition. When Liz protested that he had no other skills, Jack explained, “he’s a white male with hair, Lemon. Sky’s the limit.”
What'd you think of last night's episode?
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