January 31st, 2012
12:11 PM ET
The latest "Bachelor" episode took Ben and the 11 remaining contestants from Park City, Utah, to the Puerto Rican island of Vieques.
Chris Harrison, doing his best Brad Womack impression by rocking the plaid, informed them there would be one group date and a pair of one-on-one dates. That said, all of the women would go out with Ben in some form.
The first one-on-one went to Nicki the dental hygienist, and she and Ben went to Old San Juan for a Puerto Rican take on the snow cone. As soon as Nicki wondered if anything could go wrong, the neighborhood was drenched by heavy rains. (Maybe the show's producers have some sort of "weather distortion machine," like the kind you only see in bad sci-fi movies.)
Ben was disappointed, since he had plans for an "outside" date, but also found Nicki's willingness to spend part of the day inside to be a "turn on." The man is a genius in his own mind.
After a quick change of clothes (as Ben was wearing the whitest outfit this side of a Clorox commercial), the weather cleared up and the happy couple managed to come across a wedding.
Ben pledged to have a ceremony as big as the wedding next door, even though we don't actually see the nuptials taking place. When all was said and done, Nicki got a rose.
The group date had nine of the remaining contestants travel to the ballpark for a little baseball game. The ladies were split into two teams (because of the odd number, Ben chose Lindzi the horse lover to compete on both sides) to play a two-inning game.
The winners would get a post-date beach party with Ben, while the losing team would go back to the hotel and mope.
The two-inning sprint quickly turned into a five-inning marathon as Ben, pitching for both sides, gave up more hits than a Casey Kasem countdown special.
The "Red Team" of Courtney, Casey S., Kacie B. and Jamie came out on top with a 10-9 victory over the Blue Team. Courtney the model reminds the Blue Team that "there's no crying in baseball," earning points from this blogger for the non-Charlie Sheen pop culture reference.
At the party, Courtney is back to her old self, calling Jamie a "hot mess" and Lindzi "annoying." Even alleged best friend Casey S. took a hit from the model, as Courtney noted that Ben didn't have much chemistry with her.
Courtney's biggest concern was Kacie B., who got the end-of-date rose after Ben declared her a fun girl. Courtney, knowing she's just as fun as Kacie B., said she has a plan to rope Ben, but then didn't elaborate. (She also made some kind of polygon shape with her fingers when describing her opposition. I think she was attempting to call her opponents "squares," but her finger art had me thinking "rhombus" or "quadrilateral" at times.)
Elyce the personal trainer was the recipient of the second one-on-one date and, given that we've heard little from her since the first week, you can probably guess where this is headed. Ben told Elyce that he has stronger connections with other women, so he gave her the boot in one of the most boring eliminations in "Bachelor" history.
When Ben got back to the hotel, he was greeted by a robe-clad Courtney, who proposed that the two of them go skinny-dipping. Ben had some doubts about this, but given this is "The Bachelor" and it airs just past TV's "family hour," he went for it.
At the cocktail party, Courtney sort of admitted her misdeed to some of the other girls, but without going into any specifics.
Ben then got together with Emily the epidemiologist, whose hatred of Courtney is reaching dangerously high levels. Emily mentioned that "weird" things have been going on with Courtney but, before she can continue, Ben told her to stop making assumptions about anybody and drop it.
Emily then wonders why Ben wants to keep Courtney around. Haven't watched previous seasons of the show, have you, Emily?
When it was rose ceremony time, and Ben opts to boot Jennifer, who had a "rad" (Ben's words, not mine) date last week in Utah.
Next week, Ben and the nine remaining women go to Panama, meaning a Van Halen reference could be in my future.
What did you think of last night's "Bachelor" episode?
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