[Editor's Note: Spoilers - and scores - from last night's "Dancing With the Stars" are included in the post below.]
It's a new season on "Dancing with the Stars"! Or, as a friend of mine calls it, "Dancing with People Who Happen to Know Stars."
Much has changed since the last season came to a close in May. The ballroom is bigger and brighter. Co-host Brooke Burke is now Brooke Burke Charvet. And host Tom Bergeron has surrendered his customary introduction of musical director Harold Wheeler to the mysterious announcer voice.
This season, 12 celebrities and their dance partners are competing to win the prestigious Mirrorball trophy. For the first week, the teams will perform either a cha-cha or a Viennese waltz.
Our first celeb is the basketball player formerly known as Ron Artest. He legally changed his name to Metta World Peace last week, but is still going by his old name on the show. Artest/World Peace, appearing with a hairstyle straight out of the Dennis Rodman playbook, creaked and stumbled through a cha-cha with partner Anna "Heavens To" Murgatroyd. The judges praised the hoopster for being entertaining, but scolded him for lack of technique.
Artest/World Peace: 14/30 (Carrie Ann Inaba 5, Len Goodman 4, Bruno Tonioli 5)
Next up is America's sixth-most popular Kardashian, Rob. At least he's paired with Cheryl Burke, who could team up with a coat rack and finish in the Top 5.
Kardashian is smart enough to let Burke do much of the work on their Viennese waltz, winning the approval of all the Kardashians in the audience. The judges criticize Rob for being rigid in his performance - guess rigid is the polite way of saying "barely moving."
Kardashian : 16/30 (Inaba 6, Goodman 5, Tonioli 5)
We now check in on Kristin Cavallari, who I'm told was famous a few years ago. Like Kardashian, she lucks out in being paired with top pro Mark Ballas.
The two dance a cha-cha to a Taio Cruz tune, whose cover singer sounded a bit off-key. The judges praise Cavallari for having potential, though it seemed to me that Ballas did a majority of the work.
Cavallari: 19/30 (Inaba 7, Goodman 6, Tonioli 6)
Next up is singer Chynna Phillips, who I think has a leg up on the competition. Think about it - she's part of a legendary showbiz family, she sang in a trio with two sisters from a famous musical family, and she's related to a famous acting family through marriage. She could go far solely on Phillips, Wilson and Baldwin votes!
Thankfully, Phillips showed she belonged on the dance floor, as she and Tony Dovolani performed a crisp, relatively clean Viennese waltz.
Phillips: 22/30 (Inaba 8, Goodman 7, Tonioli 7)
We're now up to the only contestant I have the potential of meeting at the company Christmas party, HLN's Nancy Grace. Paired with new pro Tristan MacManus, the legal analyst performed a cha-cha that let her show off a fun side you rarely see on TV. The judges noted her spunk and, unlike TV's Lou Grant back in the day, they like spunk! Nevertheless, they remind the dancing beginner to work on her choreography.
Grace: 16/30 (Inaba 5, Goodman 5, Tonioli 6)
Next up is David Arquette, who host Tom Bergeron notes was a former pro wrestling champion. All those acting credits and winning a belt was his greatest achievement. Go figure.
Arquette, dressed like a waiter at a really fancy steakhouse, performed a waltz with Kym Johnson to Queen's "Somebody to Love." Arquette had no problem letting everyone see him sweat, and the judges complimented him for his efforts.
Arquette: 18/30 (Inaba 6, Goodman 6, Tonioli 6)
Elisabetta Canalis is next, and even Bergeron admitted that we wouldn't know who she was if she hadn't dated George Clooney. Dance partner Val Chmerkovskiy (brother of "DWTS" vet Maksim) must have realized that Canalis was quite the novice, as they opt to begin their cha-cha (literally) in bed.
Alas, Canalis looked at times like a five-year-old who got separated from Mom and Dad at the mall food court, staring out into space while Val did all the dirty work.
Canalis: 15/30 (Inaba 5, Goodman 5, Tonioli 5)
It's now Maksim's turn to prove who the better Chmerkovskiy is, and he's paired with soccer star Hope Solo. The two waltz to a Dave Matthews tune - a peculiar selection for an elegant dance, but one that surprisingly works. Solo was praised for her strong chemistry, but she appeared to gas out near the end of the routine, and the judges urged her to work on her elegance.
Solo: 21/30 (Inaba 7, Goodman 7, Tonioli 7)
Carson Kressley is next, and he's wondering whether Nancy Grace is having as much fun as he and partner Anna Trebunskaya are having. Dressed like an extra in every '70s police drama, the fashion guru wowed the audience with an all-out cha-cha that was quite entertaining, although lacking in basic dance technique. Kressley may be this season's equivalent of the life of the party.
Kressley: 17/30 (Inaba 6, Goodman 5, Tonioli 6)
We're now up to military veteran-turned-soap star J.R. Martinez, who's paired with show veteran Karina Smirnoff. What Martinez lacks in name recognition may be made up on natural talent, based on last night's performance.
Martinez looked at ease during his waltz, swinging Smirnoff along the dance floor and showing genuine emotion that a number of his competitors lacked. The end result was Martinez being tied with Chynna Phillips for top scorer of the night.
Martinez: 22/30 (Inaba 8, Goodman 7, Tonioli 7)
Ricki Lake is next, and nothing is made of the fact that she first caught our attention dancing in the movie "Hairspray" all those years ago. Partnered with "Dancing" legend Derek Hough, Lake's waltz looked confident and fluid. Nevertheless, the judges chided her on her footwork.
Lake: 20/30 (Inaba 7, Goodman 6, Tonioli 7)
The final competitor is ready to hit the dance floor, and it's Chaz Bono. Much has been made as to whether the transgender activist deserved to be on the show. But Bono is the child of two legendary entertainers, so perhaps Sonny and Cher's "performance genes" passed on to the next generation.
Paired with "Dancing" veteran Lacey Schwimmer, Bono more than held his own on the dance floor, clearly having fun performing the cha-cha. The judges complimented Bono for his positive attitude and refusing to go down without a fight.
Bono: 17/30 (Inaba 6, Goodman 5, Tonioli 6)
Heading into tonight's elimination, it appears that Artest/World Peace and Canalis are in the most danger of being knocked out, but you never know what the voters think.
What did you think of last night's "Dancing with the Stars" premiere? Who should be eliminated?
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luv chaz, luv carson, luv the show!!!!
I'll keep voting for Nancy to keep Tristan on the show!
CHER–JUST IGNORE THESE PEOPLE....CHAZ TRY TO WIN!
LEAVE THIS PERSON ALONE FOR GOD SAKES...HE'S NEVER BOTHERED ANYONE. HE HAS THE RIGHT TO ENTER A DANCE CONTEST..GEEZ..DON'T YOU PEOPLE HAVE ANYTHING TO DO?
Foe all my Funksta fans out day I got sumpin bran new foe dat ass.
Oh YEAH!!! CHAZ GETTIN DOWN AND GETTIN FUNKY...YOW!!!!
"We want the chaz
Give up the chaz
We need the chaz
We gotta have that chaz
La la la la la
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo, owww!
You've got a real type of chaz going down, gettin' down
There's a whole lot of chaz going down
You've got a real type of chaz going down, gettin' down
There's a whole lot of chaz going down
Ow, we want the chaz
Give up the chaz
Ow, we need the chaz (let us in we'll tear this mother out)"
Thats right its CHAZ-MANIA. The entire Country is behind Chaz and kicking Chaz in the butt to make sure he does good on Dancin with Chaz.
And let me tell ya something Mean Gene. I want ALL the little CHAZ-MANIACS to be saying their prayers and eating their vitamins cuz Im GOING TO BAT FOR THEM NEXT WEEK. I need all my supporters, MY CHAZMANIACS to pick up that phone and VOTE because a VOTE FOR CHAZ IS A VOTE FOR AMERICA!!
THATS RIGHT CHAZ SAID IT AND YOU HEARD IT!!
Thats right you know it, Chaz is up early getting his workout one. Uh ONE and uh TWO and uh Three *Whew*. Thats enough for now but Chaz is getting in shape to whip some butts next week on Dancing with CHAZ.
Thats right I said it DANCING WITH CHAZ.
Any1 that has respect 4 tht f@z confused g@y a$z chaz should be sh*ot. chaz is disgustin human being.butchered her body like a p!g which she is
Chaz probably does not even both to read any of these comments on any pages right now. I am a MTF transgendered human being and I just want to say that I do NOT support what Chaz is doing. Just as it his right to do the show and 'claim' he is being an advocate, it is MY right to disagree with his methods. I wonder how many other transgendered men he has truly helped with attaining their goals. All I see is another self-serving celeb with their own agenda trying to make society believe that all he says/all he stands for going to be beneficial for all of humanity. If that were true, why do "Dancing With The Stars"...why not create your own show that follows many transgendered people and not *just you*...that way average America could make a more informed decision about transgendered people based on 'many' not just YOU Chaz.As I said,I think you are just another self serving Celeb trying to make $$. I am not a hater or jealous just my opinion and right to challenge.
Good job Chaz!! You'll keep getting better! Way to go!!
"CHAZ is breaking up he's breaking up" *CRASH*
"We can reCHAZ him make him better than he CHAZ before
Faster, Stonger, CHAZ-ZER"
Go Chaz!! Hang in there :)
Can Chloe be the first to go tonight?? Oh yeah, she can take her brother and Ron Attest with her!
Lacey needs to pass on the second helpings. She's looking a little chunky.
Clooney's ex is pretty, but she can't dance. I think she'll be the first to go. Either her or Nancy Grace. Sorry, Nancy, but you should stay where only your head can be seen on tv. Didn't dig the dance at all. I loved Chaz Bono! He did a GREAT job and you should all be ashamed if you are bashing him. He's got charisma and GUTS you people wish you had (cowards, the lot of you). David Arquette did great as did Chynna Phillips, JR, and Ricki Lake.
Total snooze fest. DWTS just isn't fun to watch anymore. Blah!
Peta Murgatroyd* ..her name is not Anna.
chaz looked like freakin' Jackie Gleason out there. hahaha
POW, RIGHT IN THE KISSER...
Oh, who's this fat guy, here...
Where do u sick ba$tards get off talking sh$t about people? U must not have a very happy life and have peanut brains! No wonder humanity is almost extinct leaving very few of us who respect people. Got a bitter taste in my mouth from all your insults to people u don't even know! I'm gone, it's not worth my time checking the blogs any more!!!!!
So why are you here? Did you expect anything coming into public forums? I am pretty sure you will be back to the Marquee Blogs again in a day or so checking comments again and again. Don't let the door hit you on the way out, TROLL.
Just report it... I'll do the same. There you go, problem solved... all it takes is a click... we take enough clicks to get to this article, one more won't hurt.
Quick! Who has the chill pills?!
I am not a Nancy Grace fan based on what I've seen of her t.v. shows, BUT I have to give credit to someone that goes out there and gives it their all! She may not have been the best, but she had enthusiasm and when it comes to dancing, that's half the battle. If given the chance, she will get better!
My favorite meal at Taco Bell is "NaCHAZ Bell Grande." A hearty meal for a hearty CHAZ. Thats right AMIGOS so BAMUS over to TACO BELL and try a platter today.
I refuse to watch it until after CHAZ (Charity Bono) is off the show!
"Lord have mercy
I thinka my butt is on fire
Im just a hunk a hunk of burning CHAZ
Im just a hunk a hunk of burnign CHAZ!!"
CHAZ IS THE KING OF ROCK N ROLL!
@Pliny – then you come here and complain about it just like an old man trying to keep the neighbor kids off your lawn.
Thats right when Kim divorces that little puke she married then she is gonna be mine. First things first. Lamar Odumb...GONE. CHAZ will for Chewy to dump Odumb. Thats right KIM, YOU ARE GONNA BELONG TO CHAZ. And Chaz is gonna sing some Journey songs to ya.
"Chaz love feeds the Chaz
Kims heart burns desire
I wonder who's peeing now
Two hearts born to hump
Who'll be the lonely one
I wonder who's crying now"
YA...YOU KNOW CHAZ CAN CROON IT!!
@Chaz – u went from being a cute little girl to being a big fat slob with tattoos
Float like a butterfly
Sting like a bee
Chaz is the greatest dancer
They EVER WILL BE.
OH YEAH, CHAZ SAID IT YOU KNOW IT THAT SETTLES IT!
When Nancy Grace tears a dollar bill in half she thinks she has two 50 cent pieces. OH YEAH, BUUURRRRNN!! YEAH CHAZ PUTTIN THE SMACK DOWN ON NGs rumpusROOM!! Thats right CHAZ SAID IT!!
When Nancy Grace tears a dollar bill in half she thinks she has two 50 cent pieces. YO!!! TWO SNAPS UP, CHAZ SAID IT OH YEAH!! CHAZ ROCKS!!
Everyone in the world makes doo-doo jokes.
And then, they have their 6th birthday, and they stop.
Not only do you repeat stupid and childish things.....you do it again and again and again and again and again.
How boring you are.
I watched last night even though I haven't tuned in to this show in a few seasons, like 6. But I wanted to support Chaz who I respect and admire very much, as well as for J.R. Martinez. I am glad I watched as it is a fun show. I hope Nancy Grace goes home. Either that or the Italian chick who had as much grace and movement as a scarecrow and is only famous for giving Clooney the milk for free.
GO on...I dare ya...click it...click it off...click on the link about...cmon coward...work up your mojo it ya got any...go ahead ballsy boy....is said CLICK IT and then YOU WATCH CHAZ DANCE!!
OH YEAH..."IM COMIN OUT, I WANT THE WORLD TO KNOW" Thats right CHAZ SAID IT!!
THATS RIGHT its your favorite Dancing Machine – CHAZ!! OH YEAH HEEEYYYY MACRENA!! I'LL TEACH YOU THE ELECRIC CHAZ!! And Ron Artest can slide his ugly behind back to prison where he belong ole Dennis Rodman wanne be. Im gonna bury Ron in his own arrogance then dig him up for an ole fashioned CHAZ BELLYSLAM...Thats right CHAZ SAID. IM gonna HAMMER RON SO HARD his belly button gonna turn from an outee to an inee.
THAT RIGHT CHAZ IS BAD YOBEYO UP YO NEYO!!
"Im and the dancin KING
Feel the beat of my bellyTeam, OH YEAH..."
Nancy Grace dont wont your I REPORTS...Nancy Grace wants YOUR DIET PILLS!!! OH YEAH CHAZ SAID IT...Grace didnt look near as hot as CHAZ, NO WAY and IM gonna push her bigRump down the stairs. Just watch CHAZ WORK OUT. STEP BACK AND GIMME ROOM!!
"Because Im Chaz Im Chaz Im Chaz chaz chaz
and the whole world has to answer right now
as I tell you once again, WHO'S CHAZ!!"
"dance to the music
all night long
sing their simple song
Cher's so happy
Cher starts to cry
Sonny is 6 feet under
you can make it if you try
i want to thank you for letting CHAZ be his sef again
Different strokes for different folks, yeah
i want to thank you for letting CHAZ be his sef again..."
Thats right THERE I AM AT RIGHT ON YOUR TV SCREEN as big and bold as sin. OH YEAH...CHAZ IS DANCING THRU YOUR LIVING ROOMS and you know you love it, you want it, you GOTTA HAVE SOME OF CHAZ.
IM a one BAD MAMUH JAMUH!!
NoNO! Iam not waiting for you on my TV You are a freak and disgusting and no you are not a man nor a women you are a freak. I watched Dancing with the stars in thew past BUT NO MORE....
Elisabetta Canalis is hot... damn George you sure knew how to pick the ladies...
Go George Clooney, Go George Clooney, Go George Clooney, GoOoooOOooOOOOo.
Too bad she didn't dance all that well... I really do hope she stays on the show so we can admire her some more.
Sorry Chaz Bono (been seeing you around on these blogs), you may be good but you ain't worth looking at, sorry.
Ugh, D-listers... not even stars.
LOL, so true.
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