Today's news you might've missed:

• Lea Michele is a single lady. The actress and her boyfriend Theo Stockman had an amicable split. And in case you forgot, "Glee's" back on tonight. [People]
• George Clooney gets married!...for a Norwegian commercial. We've no doubt we'd be just as dumbfounded should we wake up to see Clooney in pajamas sauntering into the bedroom. [Huffington Post]

• We know some parents who completely get what "Modern Family's" Julie Bowen means when she says she loves and hates her kids, all at the same time. [Us Weekly]
• Breaking: Robert Pattinson is not recording a solo album, regardless of what Web rumors have suggested. And we were so excited too. [MTV]
• Well this doesn't sound good for NBC's "The Playboy Club": Amid so-so recaps and reviews, Chrysler is being pressured to drop its ads from the hour-long, soapy '60s drama. [USA Today]

The numbers are in: Comedy Central's Roast of Charlie Sheen was watched by 6.4 million total viewers, Comedy Central reports.

The ratings also make the Sheen joke fest the most watched and highest rated roast ever for Comedy Central.

Meanwhile on CBS, Ashton Kutcher's first day on the job at "Two and a Half Men" didn't do poorly, either. CBS reports that nearly 28 million viewers (27.76, to be exact) tuned in to see how Sheen's character was killed off the show and to watch Kutcher take over.

It was not only a series high for "Men," but it also made the half-hour sitcom's premiere the best among scripted shows since "Desperate Housewives" in 2005.

Zooey Deschanel's new Fox series "New Girl," about a 20-something who moves in with three guy roommates after a bad breakup, walks, talks and makes wisecracks like a comedy. But before you label it that and that alone, here's how Deschanel describes it.

"It plays more like a romantic comedy than a sitcom, per se, even though it has some of the physical comedy that some of the classic sitcoms have. We’re telling stories that are not purely comedic," the actress explained on a call with press. "I really believe that you end up caring about these characters."

And while it's (pretty) "easy to take the show and be like, oh, it’s a girl and three guys," Deschanel continues, that wouldn't encompass the whole of what she thinks "New Girl" brings to the table.

FULL POST

Melissa McCarthy is having a moment.

The actress seemed genuinely shocked when she won an Emmy for her work on “Mike & Molly,” but her win is more of a long time coming than it is a Cinderella story.

The former “Gilmore Girls” and “Samantha Who” actress, who gained recognition from her CBS sitcom and hilarious role in “Bridesmaids,” just sold her first network pilot script to CBS, according to Deadline.

FULL POST

Tony Bennett's conversation with Howard Stern turned political when he stopped by the radio host's Sirius XM program on Monday.

Bennett told Stern that when he was being honored at the Kennedy Center in 2005, then President Bush revealed to Bennett that "he made a mistake [about the Iraq war]."

And with that, Bennett and Stern were off into a discussion about the 9/11 terrorist attacks.

FULL POST

Olivia Munn faced some backlash last year when when she was hired on "The Daily Show" as a correspondent, but she tells Movieline that those detractors are being narrow-minded.

"They said, 'Oh, she's the Maxim cover girl,' which I get. But I'm just like, I'm sorry - you can put yourself in a box,  I just refuse to let you put me in one, too," Munn says. "They're trying to reduce it to, 'You can't be on the cover of Maxim and you can't be pretty and also be smart and funny. You're only getting by on your looks.'"

The 31-year-old actress, who stars alongside Sarah Jessica Parker in this month's "I Don't Know How She Does It," concurs with Tina Fey, who said that if Munn were "heavier...with a Le Tigre mustache posing in her underpants, people would be like, 'Good for you.'"

FULL POST

Monday night's one hour season premiere of "How I Met Your Mother" - actually two episodes - was hit or miss for me.

The first episode was a hit. It really felt like the show had gotten its groove back with a classically structured "HIMYM," a flashback within a flashback, of Punchy's long-awaited, disastrous wedding.

All of the business with Ted trying to avoid yet another embarrassing toast, Lily trying to hide her pregnancy, and Robin's rekindled feelings for Barney worked brilliantly. It didn't hurt that Robin and Barney had a show-stopping dance number in the middle of the episode, either.

FULL POST

Tareq Salahi, of "White House crash-gate" and "The Real Housewives of D.C.," is having a rough time. Not only did his wife Michaele leave him for Journey's Neal Schon, prompting Tareq to file for divorce, but soon after the couple's dog died.

TMZ reports that Tareq suspects the drama with Michaele may have caused it. Perhaps the poor pup died from a broken heart, the website proposes.

To make matters worse, Tareq is also allegedly getting photos of his estranged wife's lover's penis via email.

FULL POST

Even if you couldn't spot Hank Azaria if you passed him on the street, you could likely ID one of the 150 plus "Simpsons" characters he has voiced over the years.

The actor recently took a break from the quirky world of Chief Wiggum, Moe, Apu and Dr. Nick to answer some iReporter questions. The always entertaining Azaria wastes no time, diving into his unprofessional work ethic as a voice actor and why it works for him… "most of the time.”

See him on his new show “Free Agents” on Wednesdays on NBC. If you missed the first episode, here's a recap.

[Editor's Note: Spoilers -- and scores -- from last night's "Dancing With the Stars" are included in the post below.]

It's a new season on "Dancing with the Stars"! Or, as a friend of mine calls it, "Dancing with People Who Happen to Know Stars."

Much has changed since the last season came to a close in May. The ballroom is bigger and brighter. Co-host Brooke Burke is now Brooke Burke Charvet. And host Tom Bergeron has surrendered his customary introduction of musical director Harold Wheeler to the mysterious announcer voice.

This season, 12 celebrities and their dance partners are competing to win the prestigious Mirrorball trophy. For the first week, the teams will perform either a cha-cha or a Viennese waltz.

FULL POST