We hope your DVR is prepared, because this week is a TV premiere onslaught.
For starters, “Two and a Half Men” will be experiencing a drastic change of scenery with the funeral of Charlie Sheen’s character and the introduction of Ashton Kutcher as Walden Schmidt, a divorced internet tycoon.
Catch up on fall TV premieres to watch for and the shows we find promising. If you've missed one of our premiere recaps, here's a guide to what we're covering this season. Here’s what else you should check out this week:
- The 63rd annual Primetime Emmy Awards will air on Fox at 8 p.m. ET with “Glee’s” Jane Lynch in charge of hosting. Who can we expect to triumph at the ceremony? We'll find out tonight - you can follow updates on the Emmys via @CNNShowbiz and on Marquee.
- On ABC you can catch the premiere of “Dancing With the Stars” at 8 p.m. ET. This season will feature
Ron Artest Metta World Peace, Chaz Bono, Nancy Grace, Rob Kardashian, Hope Solo, Ricki Lake, David Arquette and many more. At 10 p.m. ET is the season 4 premiere of “Castle” with Nathan Fillion and Stana Katic.
- On NBC at 8 p.m. ET is “The Sing-Off” season premiere for those who enjoy a little friendly a capella competition. Then at 10 p.m. is the “The Playboy Club” pilot which focuses on the “Bunnies” working at The Playboy Club in Chicago in 1963.
- And finally on CBS at 8 p.m. ET is the season 7 premiere of “How I Met Your Mother” followed by “The Roast of Charlie Sheen” on Comedy Central at 10 p.m. ET.
- On FOX at 8 p.m. ET is the season 3 premiere of “Glee” where we join the show choir group at the start of their senior year, followed by the “New Girl” pilot starring Zooey Deschanel.
- Tennis star Anna Kournikova will be one of the new trainers on “The Biggest Loser,” which will air on NBC at 8 p.m. ET followed by an all-new episode of “Parenthood” at 10 p.m. ET.
- New music's dropping today, too: "Duets II” by Tony Bennett, "Unbroken” by Demi Lovato and “Sweeter” by Gavin DeGraw.
- For the handful of people who have yet to see “Bridesmaids,” that's on DVD today along with season 2 of “Modern Family” and season 3 of “Castle."
- “Modern Family"(with a new Lily!) on ABC tonight at 9 p.m. ET.
- Simon Cowell's throwing his gray T-shirt into the singing competition ring once again as "X Factor" premieres at 8 p.m. on Fox.
- Minka Kelly, Annie Ilonzeh and Rachael Taylor are the new "Charlie's Angels" tonight at 8 p.m. on ABC, which will be followed by a two-hour - count 'em, two hours - premiere of "Grey's Anatomy."
- On CBS is the season premiere of “The Big Bang Theory” at 8 p.m. ET followed by the pilot of “Person of Interest” at 9 p.m. ET.
- NBC is hoping to make you laugh with premieres of four comedies: “Community” at 8 p.m. ET, “Parks and Recreation” at 8:30 p.m., “The Office" (sans Steve Carell) at 9 p.m. and the pilot of “Whitney” at 9:30 p.m. ET, which will star comedian Whitney Cummings.
- If you really can’t wait to see Taylor Lautner in “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1” in November, then you should check out “Abduction” which releases in theaters on Friday. Starring Lautner, Lily Collins and Sigourney Weaver, the movie is about a man who finds out that his baby picture was on the missing persons list and realizes that his parents are not his own.
- Since Brad Pitt was inescapable last week, do we really need to remind you that his movie "Moneyball," about an Oakland A's general manager who finds a way to create a successful team on a budget, opens this weekend? If somehow you did forget, there ya go - the movie also stars Robin Wright and Jonah Hill.