CW's 'H8R' brings trash talkers to TV
September 15th, 2011
04:08 PM ET

CW's 'H8R' brings trash talkers to TV

There’s an age-old adage that says, “When you talk trash about people you don’t want them to see you.”

OK, so maybe I lied about that being a work of ancient scripture, but it rings true today and seems to be the underlying theme of CW’s “H8R ” (and an actual quote from one of the show’s “characters").

Here’s the skinny: Mario Lopez hosts a show where celebs and their biggest haters are forced to confront each other with the hope that the celeb will be able to convince his/her detractor otherwise. In some cases it works and in some cases, well, I guess haters gon’ hate.

Anyway, to better break this whole thing down, I’ve divided this recap into categories. The first three come from the show; the last three are of my own creation. The “Hater Quotable” is the best line of the night, and the “Biggest Loser” goes to the person who comes out of the confrontation looking worse off than before. Last but not least is the “Hater Scale,” which grades – on a scale of 1 to 10 – whether this anti-hating exchange accomplished anything.

Nick vs. Snooki

The Hater: Nick who hates “Jersey Shore’s” Snooki and thinks “her birth was a hate-crime to Italians.” His words, not mine.

The Ambush: Snooki shows up at a pool parlor where Nick is hanging out. Nick’s clearly shocked and at a loss for all of the kind words he had for Snooki with the exception of gems like, “You’re the one who got arrested and wrote a s--y book.”

Getting to Know Each Other: Nothing like a trip to the local grocery store to get to know someone. Snooki wants to convert Nick from “a hater to a lover.” While they trade a few barbs here and there, it seems like they might actually be warming up to each other. What’s not to love about Snooki when she blesses one with culinary knowledge, like the advice she gives Nick for Sunday making dinner: “You have to have a pickle.” Word.

Hater Quotable: “Even if I walk in with nothing on, I’m still a good person.” - Snooki to Nick’s mom.

Biggest Loser: No one. Nick and his family warm up to Snooks, even going as far to insist she be called by her real name, Nicole. Hate her or love her, somehow Snooki just keeps winning.

Hater Scale: 8. Nick was a real hater and in one way or another, Snooki converted him to the House of GTL. Point, Snooki.

Danielle vs. Jake Pavelka

The Hater: Twenty-year-old Danielle believes everything she reads in the tabloids about “The Bachelor’s” Jake Pavelka.

The Ambush: While lying out at the pool, Jake and Mario come up with a plan for the reality star to introduce himself in ridiculous ways. Poolside military push-ups anyone? Unlike our previous hater Nick, Danielle only seems more annoyed and angry by Jake’s presence.

Getting to Know Each Other: Jake takes Danielle flying to “The Bachelor” pad and all in all, our little hater is not impressed. Even after Jake pulls the daddy issues card and breaks down in front Danielle, she fires back, “Right now you’re trying to persuade my opinion of your image. You’re telling me everything I want to hear or everything you want to come across as.” Ouch.

Hater Quotable: “I’m just being real!” - Danielle to a hapless Jake, said more than once.

Biggest Loser: Tough call. Danielle seems like she’s just angry in general. Being mad doesn’t look good on anyone, and I’m not sure Danielle’s anger solely stems from Jake. On the other hand, Jake took the easy route in getting to know her, making his last-ditch emotional moment seem more contrived than genuine.

Hater Scale: Negligible. Nobody comes out on top here.

This is a "reality" show, but of course, that's a relative term. Snooki's showdown with Nick seemed (relatively) more realistic and honest than Jake Pavelka's face-off with Danielle. That one ended up overproduced, not to mention forced.

If you've been poking around various corners of the Web, you noticed that the reviews for this program haven't been kind. Did you catch "H8R" last night, and would you tune in for another episode?


soundoff (21 Responses)
  1. KIM

    PEOPLE SHOULD HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO HATE KIM K BECAUSE SHE'S A SORRY EXCUSE FOR A WOMAN... SHE FALLS IN LOVE WITH EVERYBODY SHE DATES, AND IF SHE WASNT SO FOCUS ON AND JEALOUS OF HER YOUNGEST SISTER {KHLOE} RELATIONSHIP SHE WOULD FIND TRUE LOVE. SHE MARRIED SOMEONE WHO JUST DISRESPECTED HER AND HER FAMILY. SHE'LL FALL FOR ANYBODY.. IF A MAN TELLS HER TO STOP TALKING TO HER FAMILY SHE WOULD WITHOUT THOUGHT.. SHE'S A NOBODY AND ONLY GOT A NAME FOR HERSELF DOING PRON..SMH..

    January 1, 2012 at 11:01 pm | Report abuse |
  2. Freddy Kruger

    Can Kim Kardashian ASS-assinate her hater? Watch tomorrow night at 8/7c on The CW’s H8R, and defend Kim’s derriere against her digital haters on http://facebook.com/h8r.
    #SPWB

    September 28, 2011 at 7:29 pm | Report abuse |
  3. Danielle

    Danielle was an IDIOT.... she is 20 years old and thinks she knows everything. She believes what she hears and see's on TV and Magazines and does not have a valuable opinion of her own, yet she pretends like she does and tries to pretend that she is intelligent. She just wanted to hate Jake and she did not want to be made to look like she could be suaded and change her opinion. SHE HERSELF was playing to the camera and was doing EVERYTHING that she claimed Jake was doing. So Danielle.... you're fake, phoney and ignorant.

    September 20, 2011 at 12:01 am | Report abuse |
  4. Jerry Springer

    Darn. Why didnt I think of this crap.

    September 16, 2011 at 7:54 am | Report abuse |
  5. fernance

    I usually c.u-m on here & say i like me men but i like wussy. i o so wuv eating me a mean wussy.

    September 16, 2011 at 4:33 am | Report abuse |
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    September 16, 2011 at 4:08 am | Report abuse |
  7. Richard Fore

    @jhnz: i got some oil for you, right here in my pants!

    September 15, 2011 at 10:51 pm | Report abuse |
  8. jhnz

    90% accuracy is now a reality, thanks to the secret code for the oil market. No registration required, just show up at the demonstration room, and watch for your own eyes a 90% accuracy rate trading the oil market, that's right, you can make as much money as you want trading the oil market if you simply know the secret code for it. If you don't believe that then why not just show up to the FREE demonstration? What have you got to lose? Google Oil Trading Academy.

    September 15, 2011 at 9:20 pm | Report abuse |
  9. Silos

    I thought Danielle was amazing, she didn’t let any of Jake’s
    bs and celebrity status interfere with her honesty. For a 20 years
    old girl from a City like LA, she presented herself to be very well grounded,
    smart, well spoken and also cute. I was impressed how she didn’t care
    for the plane ride, car, mansion, etc.. etc.. because there are more
    meaningful things in life that money doesn’t buy. Good job!

    September 15, 2011 at 8:18 pm | Report abuse |
  10. portalpunk

    sasha, let's have a butch lez party! I am secretly one in hiding... people don't know that about me.

    September 15, 2011 at 5:26 pm | Report abuse |
  11. nancy

    The dang storm almost blowed our trailer away last night. And its a good un. A doublewide.

    September 15, 2011 at 5:18 pm | Report abuse |
  12. CW LOOK HERE

    If CW was looking for haters... they could've just come onto CNN's Marquee Blogs... take all the trolls, and just have them compete... that would be worth watching.

    September 15, 2011 at 5:18 pm | Report abuse |
  13. nancy

    yeah

    September 15, 2011 at 5:16 pm | Report abuse |
  14. LEE

    Trailer trash talkers. Same thing.

    September 15, 2011 at 5:00 pm | Report abuse |
  15. sasha

    either ways they both look delicious to me

    September 15, 2011 at 4:53 pm | Report abuse |
  16. Snarky

    Cool, this show actually got greenlit. C'mon CNN, get me on that show, you know I wouldnt've let Snooki slide.

    September 15, 2011 at 4:46 pm | Report abuse |
  17. sasha

    Im not sure but i sure would like to rub vegetable oil all over snooki and eat her for supper. MMMMMM taaaasty.

    September 15, 2011 at 4:42 pm | Report abuse |
  18. professional wrassler

    Isnt Sookie that girl on True Blood? Why would anyone hate her? She seems really nice.

    September 15, 2011 at 4:34 pm | Report abuse |

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