September 12th, 2011
05:32 PM ET
The show was taped Saturday, but the full special won't air until next Monday. Luckily, outlets like Entertainment Weekly and The Los Angeles Times were there to cover the event. And so we present to you some of the top takedowns of the evening. Well, the more tame takedowns, anyway. We can’t repeat many of the insults from the show, but trust us, they’re bad.
Host Seth MacFarlane had more than a few zingers up his sleeve.
“Charlie, you claim to have ‘tiger blood,’ but after all the porn stars you’ve [slept with], it’s probably Tiger Woods’ blood.”
MacFarlane continued, "’On 'Two And A Half Men' tonight, they're apparently having a funeral for Charlie's character. But there's no need to switch over; in two months, you can probably see the real thing."
Comedian Jeffery Ross attacked an innocent '90s movie franchise: "You're the black sheep of a family that produced three 'Mighty Ducks' movies." Ross, who traveled with Sheen for part of his live tour, told People before the roast, “He puts the 'harming' in 'charming.'"
Seasoned comedian Jon Lovitz joked, "How much blow can Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill 'Two and a Half Men.”
“Jackass” star Steve-O, who intentionally broke his nose on fellow roaster Mike Tyson’s fist, was handing out insults despite his injury: “Charlie still hasn't hit rock bottom. He's looking forward to it, though, because he thinks there's a rock there."
The most surprising roast participant was perhaps “Private Practice” star Kate Walsh, who quipped, "Charlie is an amazing medical specimen. I guess that's what comes from waking up at the crack of crack."
Charlie, for his part, reportedly smiled through the roast. He told CNN before he went in that he was feeling good, and wasn't worried at all about what jokes the roasters would break out. "Nothing's off limits," he said.
"Once again I have come out unscathed," Sheen declared afterwards, according to EW. And as is tradition, he got to get in some jokes of his own at the end.
Touching his chest, he quipped, "Here beats an eternal flame. I just need to keep it away from a crack pipe."
Sheen, 46, went on to claim that he's “done with ‘the winning,’ because I’ve already won.”
To hear the more extreme jokes, catch the full roast on Monday, September 19 at 10/9c on Comedy Central. Remember, that’s the same night as the season premiere of "Two And A Half Men"!
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