Ashton Kutcher's 'Men' character may try suicide
August 25th, 2011
09:52 AM ET

Ashton Kutcher's 'Men' character may try suicide

Ashton Kutcher tried to be low key about his new job as the other "Man" on "Two and a Half Men" - we're assuming he's not the half, but we could be wrong - when he appeared on "The Late Show with David Letterman" Wednesday, but Letterman was having none of it.

The veteran late night host worked Kutcher over for details, but the 33-year-old actor (who, of course, landed on the CBS sitcom after Charlie Sheen was fired) tried to play coy. (Despite the fact that he was on a late night talk show....where he'd be asked questions about the show. Why do actors do these things?)

After removing his bulletproof vest and helmet - Letterman did have some death threats earlier in the week - Kutcher revealed his self-described "Jesus" look and did talk a little bit about his character.

"It's part of 'Two and a Half Men.' Believe it or not, they requested this," he joked with Letterman of his longer haircut and beard. "I play a young, billionaire Internet entrepreneur who's just dealing with a nasty divorce, [and is] heartbroken about it. My character's name is Walden Schmidt."

Sheen's character does get killed off, but Kutcher claims he has no idea how this comes to pass. "He dies because he's no longer living...It's a death scenario." Thanks, Ashton.

How does "Walden Schmidt" arrive on the show in the first place? "I show up when Jon Cryer's character needs me the most." Again, so helpful.

"I'll say this," Kutcher tells Letterman. "I'm very heartbroken over this breakup that's taken place. The breakup with my wife...and I may, in some way, shape, or form, be trying to kill myself."

Which clearly doesn't make this sitcom sound funny at all. In a last attempt to save this drowning conversation, Kutcher promises that "It's the same show...it's just the dynamics have shifted."

"I think it's going to go through the roof, I really do," he tells Letterman. "I've been laughing really hard." Will viewers do the same? We'll find out when "Two and a Half Men" premieres on September 19 at 9 p.m. ET.


Filed under: Late Night comedy • television

soundoff (41 Responses)
  1. Mark

    Charlie dies, Ashton tries to kill himself. All they need now is for the teen to almost die from a drug overdose and you have a real knee slapping comedy. /sarcasm

    September 12, 2011 at 2:09 pm | Report abuse |
  2. maynerd

    Asston Moore=TOTAL ASS CLOWN

    "People will think less of you"..hahahaha...even Dave knows alot of people hate this tool

    August 29, 2011 at 11:18 am | Report abuse |
  3. Pat

    hopefully he succeeds...

    August 29, 2011 at 7:05 am | Report abuse |
  4. Denise

    I think that he (Charlie) should run off with Rose and marry her. This way it would put closure to that part of the shows story.

    August 28, 2011 at 7:15 pm | Report abuse |
  5. natalie

    Charlie was NOT the show, he proved this by his bonb of a one man show, without the writers who made him, he sucks! I loved the show, but I am looking forward to a new relationship being introduced. Sorry Charlie, your toast!

    August 28, 2011 at 12:31 pm | Report abuse |
  6. Argle Bargle

    They should show live footage of really killing off Charlie. That would boost their ratings.

    August 27, 2011 at 11:26 am | Report abuse |
  7. trix

    I can't beleive how many mean people are beaking off. Wow lots of bad karma floating around.

    August 27, 2011 at 12:49 am | Report abuse |
  8. crutcher

    i am so so so sorry for every THINKING of trying to replace charlie. i know i have no class, completely proved
    what the people were think, I am ugly, can't act, with no loyalty. My women are near as beautiful as charlie's.
    But they are at least their age not trying to act and dress like she still is 40. Demi once looked good, but like all
    of us, she has lost it, but trying to prove she still has it. The only good think I can say is Bruce did have class and gave
    her to you. I mean if she looked liked Ms. Brinkley (Christy) that would have made Bruce look stupid, which we
    no for sure he's not. But now you go and prove people right. 15-35 yrs old girls look at demi, and say what.
    but u couldn't do any better, so hang on until she drops u. These are some of the things you should be saying
    to charlie. Believe you me he will come out on top, because he is the best. go home to ugly brunette of yours
    and say your sorry for her settling for you. and then leave quickly.

    August 26, 2011 at 12:57 pm | Report abuse |
    • Shell

      Crutcher, I don't understand anything you wrote... Um, what?

      August 26, 2011 at 8:59 pm | Report abuse |
    • Ho-Hum

      To the weirdo pretending to be Ashton Kutcher...quit playing with your mommy's computer and go back to your playpen.

      August 27, 2011 at 11:24 am | Report abuse |
  9. lol

    where is my post!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    August 26, 2011 at 12:44 pm | Report abuse |
  10. Dave

    I think Demi should show up & whisk Charlie away. Now THERE's a happy GILF moment!!

    August 26, 2011 at 12:03 pm | Report abuse |
  11. chel

    I agree,they should end the show without charlie.He was the show!

    August 26, 2011 at 1:05 am | Report abuse |
  12. patrick Richardson

    Hopefully he'll succeed.

    August 25, 2011 at 5:09 pm | Report abuse |
  13. Snarky

    Can he try suicide irl as well?

    August 25, 2011 at 4:24 pm | Report abuse |
  14. Terri

    This show sux no matter the cast. Its geared for 12 year old boys.

    August 25, 2011 at 3:30 pm | Report abuse |
  15. Mellisa Fernandez

    I'm having Charlie Sheens baby;)

    August 25, 2011 at 2:53 pm | Report abuse |
  16. win

    I'm looking forward to it. That show was a "winner" because of the writers, not because of charlie sheen. I have no doubt it will still be a great show, like when Diane left Cheers

    August 25, 2011 at 2:44 pm | Report abuse |
  17. Anomic Office Drone

    They really should have let the show die. People forget that Charlie Sheen is an Emmy-winning comic actor. Whereas Ashton Kutcher was in "Dude Where's My Car?"

    August 25, 2011 at 2:32 pm | Report abuse |
    • Moi

      I don't think he's won an Emmy, but he has won a Golden Globe, so there ya go.

      August 30, 2011 at 2:13 pm | Report abuse |
  18. gl420

    I'm a fan of two an a half men but won't be watching this season besides on the same night the roast of charlie sheen will be on comedy central an will definately be funnier than the CBS show.

    August 25, 2011 at 1:42 pm | Report abuse |
  19. chuck

    Yore an idiot Ashton lol

    August 25, 2011 at 11:56 am | Report abuse |
  20. jujubeans

    I wonder how Demi feels about that beard tickling her thighs.

    August 25, 2011 at 11:41 am | Report abuse |
  21. itsamemario

    im still not a fan of two and a half men but hating is not my forte. i will say that im not an ashton kutcher fan, being that he*s been in mostly unenjoyable movies n all..

    August 25, 2011 at 11:35 am | Report abuse |
  22. Get a room

    Lmao @tony

    August 25, 2011 at 11:32 am | Report abuse |
  23. Happy Cow

    Me too Moondancer. It would be better if something really good happened to Sheens character and he kind of decides to move away. Maybe he won the lottery and moved to Tahiti or something. We hope you and everyone is happing a happy day : ) moooooooo : ) it is a happy thursday : )

    August 25, 2011 at 11:15 am | Report abuse |
  24. Gary

    Horrible article. That interview was actually very funny and their conversation was very interesting. If I didn't watch it and just read this I would have thought it was a dull or awkward back and forth with Ashton dodging questions, but this was not the case at all.

    August 25, 2011 at 10:52 am | Report abuse |
  25. Tony

    So you had breakfast in bed Tracie? You freak!

    August 25, 2011 at 10:42 am | Report abuse |
  26. Louie

    I'm looking forward to seeing the first show. I hope it makes it.

    August 25, 2011 at 10:42 am | Report abuse |
  27. MoonDancer

    I just hate it when the kill off a character on a show, especially on a comedy! Send them on vacation or something.
    Have a great day everyone!

    August 25, 2011 at 10:27 am | Report abuse |
  28. Remeni

    Don't do it Ashton

    August 25, 2011 at 9:58 am | Report abuse |
    • Leroy

      Ashton you are a toolbag. Go back home to your GILF.

      August 25, 2011 at 12:32 pm | Report abuse |
    • jujubeans

      GILF? Grandmother? In any event ILF her!

      August 25, 2011 at 1:24 pm | Report abuse |
    • Marc

      GILF? LOL! He's a pretty cool guy though, but apparently he used to be very shy back in high-school and learned how to be so confident with women only a few years before he got his TV break. He mentioned in an interview that he owed it all to the principles taught in the book "The Manual: What Women Want and How to Give It to Them" but I haven't read it myself yet.

      August 29, 2011 at 5:04 pm | Report abuse |
    • geek4lifeNOT

      I've read it and think it's great, but I really shouldn't say that because I don't want more guys knowing the secrets to seducing beautiful women! :D The less you know, the more girls I get! :D :D

      August 29, 2011 at 5:06 pm | Report abuse |
  29. O yea

    Sounds like a sticky situation to be in....

    August 25, 2011 at 2:04 pm | Report abuse |
  30. ralph

    That stinks!

    August 25, 2011 at 2:23 pm | Report abuse |
  31. mejazzbo

    Was it yours or someone you care for very deeeeply?

    August 25, 2011 at 6:36 pm | Report abuse |
  32. maynerd

    Would that mean surrounded by Asston Moores movie dvds

    August 29, 2011 at 11:20 am | Report abuse |

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