Believe it or not, we’re halfway through the final season. I’d like to tell you that the show is going out with a bang, but I’m working on my honesty these days and with the exception of maybe the last two episodes, it’s hard to say that this last hurrah has been one to remember.
Last night’s episode saw E getting played by the opposite sex (shocker), Vince falling hard for a new girl, the end of the Gold marriage and the never-ending quest that is Johnny Drama’s pursuit of his own stardom.
Some of it worked, some if it didn’t and at 29 minutes and 15 seconds, it was one of the longer episodes this year. That’s a good thing, right? Let’s dig in.
Vince, Shauna and Turtle are heading to Vince’s big interview with Vanity Fair. Per usual, Vince is acting too cool for school, Turtle wants his pal to make sure he plugs his new restaurant venture and Shauna is there to verbally assault and generally keep both men in line. “This is about rehabbing Vince’s image Turtle, not marketing your f-- greasy spoon!” Oh, Debi Mazar, how I love to quote thee.
Sophia, Sophia! Also known as “She’s Out of My League” beauty, Alice Eve. Vince seems instantly smitten. Maybe it’s the blonde hair, maybe it’s the accent or maybe it’s the fact that throughout the series, Vince has shown an affinity for taking on challenges in his love life and Sophia’s tough as nails, cold-blooded journalist attitude is a turn on for our boy.
Things are getting hectic for Vince’s big bro Johnny Drama, who is convinced Scott and E don’t care enough about “Johnny Bananas” tanking in the absence of Andrew Dice Clay. E has bigger issues…a meeting with Melinda Clarke, his ex-boo’s ex-stepmother. “Why would you have meeting with your ex’s ex-stepmother?” Great question, Drama.
This probably won’t turn out too well, but leave it to E to be slow to that fact. Conveniently, Melinda’s manager dropped her, so she wants to hire E as her representation, but she’s making too many Sloan references for her career to be the driving motivation behind her meeting with E.
Mrs. Ari and the kids stop by daddy’s office because he’s promised to take the young ones to Disney Land. Two things: How did Ari’s daughter go from 13 to 18 seemingly overnight, and was she not more than spot-on with her, "only people who are stoned go to the house that Walt built over the age 18"? Just saying.
Anyway, scrap Disney Land. Jacob, uh, Taylor Lautner’s buddy wrote a script that he wants Dana Gordon to read. After the whole fiasco at Flay’s in the last episode, the relationship between our favorite Hollywood power couple is on the fritz and both Ari and Dana are trying to call each other out for being awkward. Just get together permanently already!
Back at the interview, Vince is playing the role of every journalist’s nightmare, answering good questions with softball answers, mixed with a few come-ons. OK, I really have no experience with the latter, but eh. Snooze.
Watching Vince try and bag Sophia as opposed to answering her truthfully got boring fast, but you have to think that the introduction of a new lady for Vince could make for an interesting turn, even if the storyline does seem kind of dropped in last minute. Either way, Shauna thought the whole thing sucked, and is worried Vince once again brought himself bad PR.
Meanwhile, in the "Bananas" studio, Drama and his new co-star Jamie Kennedy are having creative differences. “Oh I suck? I think Viking Quest sucked!” Point, Mr. Kennedy.
Drama voices his frustration to Billy and insists that Dice be brought back. After Billy suggests he offer some of his salary to appease Dice, the light bulb in that brain of Drama’s went off and he was a man on a mission.
At Ari’s office things definitely got awkward thanks to little Jonah Gold. “Are you the Dana that our mom hates?” Kids say the darndest things. Dana’s now obviously freaked out that Ari’s kids and wife know about them and she can’t separate what happened and what’s happening now. Her words. Well put.
Over at the Lavin Murphy Group, Scott tells E he needs to be a destroyer and not the destroyee when he meets with Melinda later. E is obviously worried about what Sloan would think. Yep, nothing much to see here.
Vince, by way of Turtle using his iPad, is doing research on Sophia and hopes she’ll offer him a second interview. Who says you can’t learn about someone on HeadandBody.com? Sophia agrees to meet Vince at his place for another, more introspective shot at getting his story.
Back to Drama's mission: Dice is ripping his brother apart over the phone and looking for help to pay for his son’s college tuition. Drama offers up the difference in his salary on “Johnny Bananas” for both men to be paid an equal amount. With the line of the night, Dice leaves Drama even more torn than before. “I know what I’m supposed to get and I know who is supposed to give it to me and I will not accept not getting it.”
Poor E is getting it in with Melinda at dinner, as both love-scorned singles take turns telling sob stories and talking smack about their exes. It couldn’t be more obvious that these two are going to end up in bed together, but really, why? Behind every good man is a good woman, but behind everyone one of E’s failures was a woman. If I weren’t bald I’d pull out some of my hair and throw it at the screen. E, c’mon son!
Speaking of heartbreak, leave it to Mrs. Ari to keep pace with her new role as the show’s villain. After a sincere and heartfelt apology from Ari, he gets a painful rebuttal from his wife: “I called a lawyer and I’m filing for divorce.” Cool, I’ll sign the papers and personally drive Ari over to Dana’s. In a perfect world.
In the real world, Drama is self-destructing and taking his career with him. He makes a stop by Phil’s office where the producer tells Drama that Dice won’t get his fair share because the studio is banking and building their show around him. Instead of reveling in the fact that he’s the star, Drama tells Phil he’s walking out on the show. Dumb. Dumb. Dumb.
Vince is now pouring his heart out to Sophia, and she thanks him for his honesty and even makes sure to say goodbye to Turtle. I think she has a thing for our boy Tortoise, but that might just be me. Vince always gets the girl, right? Well, he tries to take Sophia out for a drink, but she reminds him that she’s all business (had to rewind her last few lines, but they were awesome). Of course, rejection only makes Vince want her more. Ruh roh.
Things go from bad to friggin’ amazing when a lonely, drunken Ari (listening to Willie Dixon’s “Spoonful,” couldn’t be more fitting) gets a call from a lonely, vulnerable Dana. Dana offers to come over and tells Ari, “One day at a time, I’ll take my chances if you still want to.” Win!
And to continue with the theme of our boys acting foolish over the opposite sex, once Melinda realizes E never needed Viagra, the two sleep together. Surprise, surprise, Sloan calls E right after the lust has cleared the air. In one of the great "Entourage" moves, turns out our Melinda had a plan to sleep with E to get back at Terrance. Can’t help but feel like E once again looks like a sucker.
So, we’re halfway there - are you guys entertained? Will Drama ever get a break? Will Vince crash and burn over Sophia? What the hell is E thinking? And will Ari and Dana last?
It is perfect time to make some plans for the long run and it's time to be happy. I've read this put up and if I may I want to recommend you some fascinating things or advice. Maybe you could write next articles referring to this article. I want to read more things approximately it!
Let's see pics of Sophia! C'mon!
I must agree with Ed. Lets get this show moving along. We are ready for the male on male knob shining scenes, shower scenes and butt hammering scenes. I cant wait to see the HOT cream cheese and buttGravy spewing all over the place.
You are so immature and gross.
I have to say this season is very slow. last nights episode even slower. I am a big fan but I need to see the glitz and glamour. Lets have the comeback already and show me the movie star highlife. this way I know what to buy.
What a nice collection of Ho~Mos.
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